


And give myself as truly as an arrow flies

by OnceUponAHappyTime



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:23:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 156,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponAHappyTime/pseuds/OnceUponAHappyTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina rides through the woods as an poisend arrow hits her. Robin Hood finds the dying Queen in the forest and forced by the poison introduced fever Regina lets Robin see more of herself than she ever wanted and Robin is ready to look behind the walls she put so carefully up</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So my first OutlawQueen fic in ages ;) hope you guys like it. I don't own anything and I'm responsible for all the mistakes in it

Regina was lying in her bed in her chambers alone and silently whimpering. Like so many nights Daniels death occupied her dreams, night after night she saw her mother crushing his heart over and over again and like many nights before she woke up with a scream, trembling and tears in her eyes. Trying to shake the remains of the nightmare away Regina stood up and walked to balcony where the sun slowly started to rise. It was still early but going back to sleep wasn’t an option so Regina did what she always did when the horrors of her past where suffocating her: She went out to the stables. As she walked through the castle hoping not to meet anyone she thought back at the time where she had love, a future.   
Now it’s been years since she was trapped in this castle, first as Leopold’s wife and now as queen or rather as the Evil Queen. She knew it shouldn’t bother her what peasants were thinking of her and it clearly showed over the years that fear was quite an effective tool, but it also made her even more lonely. She shook her head to and told herself stop thinking like that she won, she was the queen she had power and as soon Snow White was out of the way the people would love her like they loved her brat of a step-daughter. When Regina reached the stables the smell of horses and straw made her feel a bit better and as she got up on her horse and could feel the wind in her hair she almost felt content, almost.  
Regina kept riding for some time, deep in thoughts about all the things she had to do today. Leopold had left a mess when he died 5 years ago, not having any idea how to run a kingdom. She had her hand full fixing his mess, the wonderful, beloved and caring king, she thought bitterly. Nobody ever saw the true face of the gracious men like she did, the cruelty and coldness, not that anybody ever would’ve cared. But all of this was behind her now. 

Suddenly Regina got startled by a noise and ripped out of her thoughts she looked around. After watching her surrounding for a couple of minutes she decided that it probably was an animal and that she should continue her ride. Regina was about to give her horse the signal to continue as she saw him- A tall man with long dark hair hiding in the woods aiming an arrow at her. But it wasn’t the weapon directed towards her heart that made Regina swallow hard it was the look in the eyes of that men: it was blank hatred almost a manic look, a look that Regina told he was here to kill her. Probably taking revenge for one of the many evils she committed. Memories of dead or dying people and glowing hearts turned up before her eyes but she pushed them back like she always did.

Regina was no fool she know that her people hated her and that too many wanted her dead so she wasn’t surprised at the man who kept starring at her. The queen watched the men how he stared right in her eyes and released the arrow. Regina was about to let the arrow disappear with a wave of her hand and rip the heart out of the stupid archer who dared to aim at her but then a thought crossed her mind: Why stopping it ? There would be nobody who would miss her besides maybe her father. Everybody hated her and the nightmares kept coming. She thought she would be free after Leopold dead but the memory of the past had a strong hold around her heart and before really realizing what she was doing Regina dropped her hand and suddenly there was only pain, excruciating pain. The arrow had hit her stomach a little beneath the original aim. Regina tried to breathe through it but the pain flooded like fire through her veins, she had the feeling she was burning alive. That’s when she realized that it wasn’t just an ordinary arrow but one dipped in poison. As another wave of pain went through her she couldn’t keep herself on the horse anymore and with a dull sound she crashed on the ground, her stallion galloping away.

The impact made her cry out and she curled herself up. The pain was so severe that she barely could think straight anymore and it took several minutes till Regina realized that she could use her magic. Regina held her hand over the wound but no magic was coming not matter how hard she tried so she let her hand totally exhausted falling next to her. She should’ve known it wouldn’t work healing never has been one of her strong suits, Rumple never thought it as something important to teach her and besides that only lessons which almost got her killed she never really practiced it. Something she started to regret as the pain kept getting stronger. Even though Regina would never admit it she was scared so scared. She thought about Daniel and if she would see him again, finally being reunited. A thought which almost made the queen smile. She had closed her eyes but as she suddenly heard a laughing they snapped open again. The man who had shot the arrow was standing over her and grinning madly at her. Regina tried to threw a snarky comment at him but all that came out was a rasping sound what made the archer snarl: “What are you saying Your Majesty I can’t understand you?. It hurts doesn’t it? You have no idea how much I enjoy this and how thrilled your people will be as soon somebody finds your body. Can you imagine the celebration and the worshipping I will receive for killing the Evil Queen. You are a monster and…” Regina couldn’t hear everything else he thought about her as darkness took over her. That also was how she would die, alone in the woods only accompanied by the man who was about to take her life. The last thing she was thinking before death would claim her was that the crazy laughing archer was right she was a monster. A monster nobody would miss, a monster that probably wouldn’t be granted a nice after- life. She doubted that whoever was in charge of life and death would put Daniel, her good and pure Daniel with somebody like her dark, evil and not worthy. While she was fighting for each breath she heard a voice, a voice which didn’t’ belong to the man standing over her. This voice was warm, deep and comforting. But before Regina could think more about where the kind voice was coming from everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this part will be more of Robin’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope your guys like it. And of course I don’t own any characters they all belong to our kings of crazy Adam and Eddy

Robin Hood was walking through the woods trying to find the berries his son loved so much. It was early the sun just had begun to rise but Robin couldn’t sleep so he decided to go for the search now and not later how he planned. Roland’s birthday was coming up and he still had no idea what to give to his boy. It had to something special for a special four year old. Robin kept walking through the woods deep in his thoughts when he suddenly heard a laughing, the mad kind one. The kind he heard from people who were in a murderous frenzy and more than just a bit dangerous. So the archer got his bow and arrow ready and walked around the corner but as he saw what was going on he almost forgot how to breathe.

There was a man standing over a motionless woman who was lying in a blood pool. Even though Robin was standing a couple feet away he could see that the dress the dark haired woman was wearing had been expensive so she was very likely from high status. As Robin went closer the man looked up and glanced straight at him. The look the man gave him let Robin swallow hard there was so much hate but also enjoyment probably regarding the suffering of the woman in front of him. Not long thinking Robin aimed his arrow at the man and asked who the bloody hell he was and what had happened. But the man just kept laughing and then suddenly noticing the bow running away. Robin was about to follow him but the blood pool got bigger and bigger, he couldn’t leave the woman alone. So he let the man escape and sunk next to the injured woman. He reached for her and tried to feel a pulse and after a few seconds desperate searching he finally found it, weak but clearly there. Robin grabbed a cloth he had with him and put it on the wound on her stomach careful not to touch the arrow, trying to stop the bleeding. As he put quite some pressure on it the woman silently moaned in pain but she was responding which calmed Robin a bit. He rolled her over and pulled her dark hair back and then it was like somebody had punched him in the gut as he recognised the unconscious woman-the Evil Queen. Robin had heard many tales about the great and terrible monarch but seeing her in person well that was a different story. 

After the first shock was over he had to admit that he never seen a more beautiful woman than the one lying on the ground. Many people talked about the beauty of the Queen but Robin had to say none of the tales did her justice. Her raven black hair was long and silky and some strands got lose from her updo. She had smooth olive skin and full red lips even though the only reason for that were probably the lipstick she was wearing since her face had lost all color and was pale as snow. She suddenly let out another moan of pain and her eyes popped open which ripped Robin out of his stare. She had the most beautiful dark eyes he had ever seen. They kinda remembered him at the color of whiskey and she looked at him, those big eyes so full of emotions. Pain, fear and confusion and it was like somebody punched him in his gut. He couldn’t describe this feeling he just knew he couldn’t leave her here. Something in him just clicked and this woman was badly hurt and needed help. Before Robin could say something to her, her eyes closed again. Robin sighted and bended over to pick her up but then still hesitate for a second. This wasn’t an ordinary woman this was the Evil Queen she was known to be as powerful as she was dangerous and he had a son to think about. But Robin nevertheless picked her up. He had a code to help those in need and if he liked it or not this woman needed it badly. She was lighter than he imagined lighter than any person her size should be. Afraid of her and afraid for her Robin started to walk toward the camp and asking himself if he didn’t just made the biggest mistake of his life and at the same time why he was so sure he didn’t.  
After about half an hour Robin arrived at the camp of the merry man where his boy closely followed by Little John walked towards him. Roland stopped shortly before his father and asked curiously: “Daddy who is this?” Robin smiled at his boy and said that that was the Queen and that she got hurt and he had to go and take care of her. Roland nodded eagerly and asked with big eyes what had happened. Robin looked searching for help to his old friend but John just stared at him and the woman he was carrying with blank horror in his face. “John would you get…” Robin started to say but John interrupted him: “Robin what the bloody hell where you thinking bringing this monster here, to your son, to us?” For a second Robin was thinking that Little John might have been right that this was crazy she could kill all of them but then the Queen made another strangled moan full of pain and Robin couldn’t leave her he just couldn’t. “We swore to help those in need and the Queen is clearly injured. What kind of man does it make me if I leave her in the woods to die?” Robin threw at his friend. Little John looked like he wanted to argue but Robin stopped him: “John I don’t want to hear it, take Roland away and bring friar Tuck to me hopefully he knows what to do.” It was clear that John didn’t agree with it but he knew the look Robin was giving him, it meant that arguing was senseless. So he nodded, grabbed Roland and went to look for Tuck while thinking his leader and best friend might have gotten crazy.

Robin watched his son and friend walking away and headed to his tent, gently dropping the still unconscious woman on the bed. Despite what he was saying to John he couldn’t let the concern go entirely but his gut told him that it was the right thing to do and his gut had never been wrong.  
Robin tried to make sure the Queen was lying as comfortable as possible when Tuck was marching in and before the man could say anything Robin said: “I know who she is and what she is capable of but I couldn’t let her die”. To the archers surprise the other man just nodded and kneeled before the Queen to take a closer look on the wound mumbling that he would do what he could to help her. Robin stood anxious next to the bed while Tuck was examining the wound and Robin swallowed hard as his friend got up with a concerned frown: ”The wound isn’t too deep but the arrow is poisoned and if I’m not mistaken it was dipped in Incubus. Whoever did this wanted the Queen to suffer”. Robin sighted heavily at the name of the poison. It was a plant he was familiar with and had seen its horrific effects on people and how in the end they begged for death. The plant introduced a high fever which let the patient feel like he or she was burning alive. It was the kind of pain which let the entire body crumbling and it also let to hallucinations, mostly letting the poisoned person relive the worst moments of their lives.   
“Robin I don’t think there is much we can do.” Tuck said with a frown. “Isn’t there anything we can do, anything?” Robin asked his heart heavy. Sure the Queen did many evils in her reign but that was something nobody deserved. Tuck looked at his friend and bit his lip and started: “I do have an antidote here…” but before he could end his sentence Robin interrupted him: ” Why in god’s name haven’t you said that immediately?” Tuck looked up in surprise at the almost desperate sound of the voice of his friend. He knew Robin was a good man but why the fate of this known evil stranger hit him so hard wasn’t something Tuck could understand. “Because even with the antidote she likely will die and it will be a hell of a fight. A fight I doubt even the Queen will be able to win.” Tuck answered with a concerned look at his friend. Robin walked slowly towards the Queen and asked without taking his eyes from her:” That still means there is a chance which means we have to try. She deserves a chance to fight and I kinda believe that’s something she is good at.” Tuck thoughtfully watched Robin and asked: “Why Robin why does she deserve a chance when so many didn’t get one from her? “ The prince of thieves slowly sits down next to the unconscious woman and shook his head: “I don’t bloody know but I guess it shouldn’t have been her choice to decide over life and death as it shouldn’t be ours. So please Tuck just get the antidote.” With that Tuck knew the last word was spoken so he nodded and left the tent with the promise to bring the antidote.

About ten minutes later Tuck came back and asked Robin to help him with the Queen. “She will wake up as soon as I rip the arrow out of her; you need to hold her down so I can pour the antidote directly onto the wound. She will fight it but you can’t let go I need to hit the wound and nothing else understood?” Tuck looked questioningly at Robin who nodded and bended over the Queens small size to held her down. As soon as the fluid reached the Queens belly her eyes popped open dark from all the pain and like Tuck said she began struggling. For such a small woman she had surprisingly much strength but Robin had more and without much trouble he held her down while apologizing to her all the time.   
Robin asked to Tuck to hurry up as suddenly the Queen looked right into his eyes and again it was like something hit Robin in the gut. Those beautiful dark eyes he had been thinking about all the time. He had the feeling he could drown in this big pained eyes that were again so full of emotions. Like before with pain, fear and confusion she looked up at him but also something else Robin couldn’t quite recognize. He tried to put her mind at ease but all his efforts where useless she wasn’t to calm down. As the Queen started to scream in pain it was like Robin felt her pain himself. He looked tortured over to his friend waiting for sign that he was done. The screams died as soon he stopped pouring the fluid on her and Robin let go of her and sunk next to her. He stroked a strand of hair back trying to comfort her but she flinched back and that was it when Robin realized what else he had seen in her eyes. Disbelieve and surprise that somebody would save her and if somebody had than certainly with a hidden agenda. Likely she thought he had worse plans with her, his own chance of revenge. The thought that she clearly didn’t think anyone would come to unless to cause her pain pained Robin in a way he didn’t really understand. He just knew as he was whispering to her:” You don’t have to fear me milady I won’t hurt you “, that he meant it. Nobody would hurt her he would make sure of it. The Queen just kept looking at him and then she was trying to say something but it was consumed by another moan of pain. Before she could try again her eyes closed and she had lost conscious again. Robin glanced to Tuck who stood silently on the other side of the bed and handed Robin a vial full off the fluid he just poured on the Queen with the introductions to put it on the wound all three hours. “It will be some hard days for the Queen she will need support to get through it.” Tuck told his leader but he knew Robin already made his choice so he wasn’t surprised as Robin took the vial and nodded. 

Tuck smiled and was about to turn around as Robin asked:” John asked me why I would help her, he said she’s a monster and you didn’t want to help her at first too but you still did why?” Tuck sighted and looked up: “Because I saw her on her wedding day Robin, I saw how she, barely a woman said yes to man who could be her father. I saw a young innocent girl with so much fear in her eyes but also a sparkling in those eyes Robin. That woman here might be the Evil Queen but under all might still be that kind young child I’ve seen that day. “ Robin saw an anger flashing in his friends eyes for a second and he swallowed hard by that Tuck just told him- The friar smiled and walked towards the exit of the tent as Robin realized something, stopped him a second time and asked:” Tuck do you know the Queen’s name?” Tuck turn around and answered with a smile: ”Regina” and this time he really left the tent and Robin was alone with the Queen no with Regina he thought with a smile as he sat next to her and reached for her hand and asking himself for the hundredth time what the bloody hell he was doing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin sees the first glimpse of the true Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys here is the new chapter I hope you like it. I’m a bit rusty so I’m gonna try writing longer chapters in the future ;) As always I don’t own the characters and I’m responsible for all the mistakes in it ;)

Why did she feel so much pain, a burning pain that ripped through her entire body? She should be dead and death wasn’t supposed to hurt right? Regina suddenly felt a warm hand at her neck searching for something. She also felt the grass underneath her. This was when she realised that she was still on the ground bleeding. Death didn’t have the mercy to come fast to her. She was a villain after all and that meant a quick and painless end wasn’t in the cards for her. As she was feeling a hand wander she wondered what else he was going to do to her. Regina wouldn’t like nothing more than fall back in the peaceful pain free darkness she just had been in a couple minutes ago but a Queen doesn’t go down without a fight.

So she gathered all the remaining strength she had left and opened her eyes to at least throw an evil glare at the worthless peasant trying to harm her. But what she didn’t expect was instead of looking up in dark eyes full of hate there were gentle blue ones. She gasped in surprise. Right next to her was a men kneeling and even in her state she could see how handsome he was. In addition to those warm blue eyes he had sandy blond hair and dimples something she always had a weakness for. Regina couldn’t stop starring at the man trying to understand what he was doing here. She suddenly realised that his other hand was at her stomach, he was and Regina really had no idea why on earth he would do such a thing, stopping the bleeding or at least trying to.

Who was he and why was he helping her? Where was the other man? Many questions went through Regina’s head but the most unsettling was the one why she felt so safe with him here. At the moment she looked into his eyes practically gazed into it, it was like someone pulled her in a warm embrace. It was a feeling she hasn’t had since the day Daniel died. He looked at her with a concerned frown but seemed to be in his own thoughts. As he realised that she was awake he was trying to say something to her and Regina struggled to keep her eyes open but she had used all the strength she had and the darkness pulled her back before she could make out what the man with the kind eyes was about to say.

 

Like the last time Regina was awoken by the burning pain just that it got even worse. The pain was suffocating her and she tried to get up and away as far away as possible from the hell she was in but something was holding her down. Regina kept fighting against the restraints feeling like a trapped animal. Everything around her was in a haze but then it was like she was hearing the kind voice again but she wasn’t sure. She just kept fighting and at some point the pain wasn’t bearable anymore and Regina couldn’t hold the screams back . She was done she couldn’t take it, it was just too much and then suddenly the pain dulled.

It was still there but not so intense than before, it didn’t take her breath away and then she saw him and again she couldn’t breathe but this time out of entirely different reasons. The man from the woods the one with the blue eyes and caring smile was over her and she realised that it were his hands which were holding her down all the time. Regina looked straight at him and was now able to understand what he was saying to her, he had been apologizing to her all the time and again he was there to help her. Why did he keep helping her, what did he want? Regina just couldn’t understand why anybody would put so much effort in coming to her aid.

She tried to sort through her thoughts which were a huge chaos trying to get answers but before she was able to break through the haze of pain she lost consciousness for the third time. Despite the fact that it got frustrating and she wanted to know who he was and what exactly was happening she was relived as she felt the darkness coming back. It meant for a short time the horrible pain would stop. But again life wasn’t that kind to the Queen. Instead of just falling back in a numb darkness something else started something that made Regina beg to feel the pain again. Physical pain was something she could deal with she had gotten injured many time in her life before but what she couldn’t take where the memories which now flooded back with a cruel intensity. Memories of the many times her heart broke into million pieces. Moments in her life she tried so hard to bury, moments which made her waking up screaming at night. But it this was different it weren’t just images crashing down on her it was like she was there again reliving each horrible moment again starting with the day her life and herself changed forever, the day her beloved Daniel died.

_Regina looked at Daniel and smiled and as usually he smiled back with so much love in his eyes. Daniel was kissing her telling her that everything was going to be ok. They would run away together and find a little peaceful place to life for them. Far away from Cora, from an old king who wanted to marry her, far away from the heavy burden of being Queen. They would be so happy they and their children. She was so excited that she couldn’t stop grinning. Regina threw one last look around in the stables and then they headed towards the door. Ready to start the life together. Regina reached for the door as it swung open by itself and what she saw made her heart stop. Her mother was standing in front of them with an angry scowl. The next minutes went by with Regina trying to convince her mother to let them be happy something she thought she wouldn’t have a chance to get through to her mother. But to her surprise Cora seemed to understand Regina for the first time in her life and Regina practically beamed, she was so happy looking at Daniel and grinned at him. So she hadn’t been worried as Cora stood in front of Daniel even though later she thought she should have known what was going to happen. So like in many nightmares before Regina watched how her mother ripped Daniels heart out and crushed it with a satisfied smirk. Her: “Mother don’t!” was useless Daniel felt to the ground in front of her, lifeless, gone forever. Regina rushed to him and took him into her arms trying to kiss him. True love was the strongest magic of all right? That was what Daniel had been telling her and he would never lie to her. But no matter how hard she tried her beloved fiancée didn’t open his eyes. Regina felt something inside ripped apart it hurt so much and then she felt the tears coming:” Why mother why have you done this?” she screamed at her mother but Cora’s cold words didn’t make sense to Regina. All she knew that Daniel was gone she was alone. Nobody ever would love her again and she wouldn’t love anybody ever again._

Robin had tried to make it as comfortable as possible for the Queen who has been laying in his bed. Even pale and covered in cold sweat she was stunning. It had been about an hour since Tuck had left and her condition hadn’t gotten better if anything it went worse. While she had been just unconscious before something seemed to trouble her now. Her beautiful face showed clearly distress and Robin wished there was something he could do for her. Thoughtfully he walked to exit of the tent it was about to be midday and it had been hours since he talked to his son. He knew Roland was safe with Little John but still he was always as a bit concerned it was kind of in the job discerption of a father he thought with a smile. To worry about them around the clock. At the same time he asked himself if Regina (what a fitting name for a Queen, Robin thought with a chuckle) had anybody who ever took care of her. Somehow he doubted it. He was about to go out for a second and check in on Roland as he heard the Queen talking, no it was more a whimpering: “Daniel no please don’t leave me, please.” Robin swallowed on the desperateness of Regina’s voice. She was pleading and it broke his heart. As he turned around he realized that she still hadn’t woken up so he sat next to her, gentle stroking her hair, silently whispering to her that everything was alright and that she was safe. After a couple of minutes she calmed down and her breathing got more even. Robin looked at her with a concerned frown asking himself who this Daniel might haven been. Whatever she saw in the fever introduced dream had hurt her and he knew many bad dreams would follow this one.

Robin stayed with her till it was time for lunch where Tuck switched places with him for a bit so he could eat with Roland. As Robin sat down next to his boy Roland looked at his father with big eyes and asked:” Daddy how’s Majesty? I picked flowers for her.” Robin chuckled and answered his son:” She’s better but still very ill it’s gonna be some time till you can give it to her.” While saying it he hoped that even Evil Queens had a soft spot for little adorable boys with dimples. Robin and Roland ate together and joked around with the other men who all silently agreed that it was the best not to argue with their leader about the Queen and hoped he would come to his good senses by himself. About thirty minutes later Tuck joined them telling Robin it was time for another does of the antidote. He also gave him a simple dress for her since the corset was a bit to constricting and sometimes would make it hard to breath for her. Robin nodded and gave Roland over to George one of his other man and also a good friend. As soon as he knew his boy was in good care he went back to the Regina.

Robin went silently into the tent and stepped closer to the unconscious woman and sighted. She already was in so much pain the antidote usually made it worse. Nevertheless is sat right next to her, not sure what to do now. He didn’t know the woman and changing her clothes was quite an intimate act he was somehow quite sure she would never agree with if she would be awake. Robin threw another glance at her and then finally shrugged. The Queen probably wouldn’t be pleased but even though it was a beautiful dark blue gown it wasn’t practical for a woman in pain especially since she clearly had trouble breathing in the last few hours. So Robin once again bended over the unconscious form and gently started to undress her. Robin Hood saw himself as a gentleman therefore he didn’t look at parts where a man gaze would be inappropriate. After a few minutes he had Regina’s heavy long gown changed into a light blue simple dress which would be far more comfortable. Even though he tried as hard as he could not to look there were two things which caught his eye. For ones the Queen really was beyond stunning and the scares which were all over her perfect body. Some at places that made Robin shiver with the implications of them. He again questioned himself what the deal was with this woman. As soon as he was finished he kneeled next to her, pushed the dress up and poured the fluid on the wound. Like the last time Regina’s eyes popped open and her face twisted with pain and like the last time Robin tried to calm her down. As the first wave of pain was over Robin expected Regina to lose consciousness again but to his surprise her eyes stayed open and for a few seconds they just looked at each other. Then and it seemed it costed her quite some strength Regina asked her voice raspy:” Who are you?”

Robin answered with a smirk:” Robin of Locksley milady at your service.” He watched how she tried to place his name and then her brows went up as she snarled well it probably should have been a snarl but it was a weak attempt at most:” The thief.” Robin smirked and shot back:” Well aren’t you technically known as the Evil Queen? ” As soon as he had spoken those words he wished he didn’t. To his surprise he could see how hurt flashed up in her eyes athis words. Before Robin could take back what he just had said she asked with a neutral tone where they were. While asking she wetted her lips with her tongue which threw him off for a bit. Why did this woman have such beautiful lips?

As he didn’t answer immediately she tried to Robin’s horror to sit up which led to another scream of pain on her part. Robin gentle pushed her back into the bed. But if he expected gratitude he soon realized that he had saved the wrong woman. As soon the pain faded a bit she threw a “Don’t you dare touch me again thief and answer me if I’m asking you a question,” at him. Robin let go of her instantly and took a deep breathe not to shoot right back at her then remembering that Regina was in lot of pain and likely scared so he simply answered her :” You are at the camp of the merry men. I brought you here after a man injured you with his bow. I was only trying to help you milady.” Robin carefully sat next to her again but she only glared at him and hissed: “I didn’t remember asking for your help thief and it’s Your Majesty for you.” This made Robin grinding his teeth’s but as she tried again to sit up he snapped: „Stop acting like petulant child you are injured and need to lay still, Your Majesty!” He underlined the last two words with as much sarcasm as he could bring up. Clearly surprised that he would dare to speak up to her Regina seemed to consider the fact that Robin might have been right and slowly lied down again. That the second fast movement within a few minutes probably hurt like hell made her decision likely easier to do as told.

“So was this so hard Your Majesty?” Robin asked and couldn’t really hide the smirk. The Queen just snorted which made Robin sight. Why had this woman be so difficult? “Where is he?” she suddenly said her voice barely more than a whisper. Robin was for a moment confused what she was talking about till he realized that there had been a man who was the reason why a bleeding Queen was laying in his bed and answered with a shrug:” I don’t know I either could follow him or save you. I kinda thought you would value it more if I save your life.” Regina just nodded and there was again a look in her eyes he could define.

Robin was about to ask her if there’s anything she needed as she again spoke up:” Why did you do it?” Robin looked up but this time he really didn’t understand what she was talking about so with a confused frown he asked her and she replied:” Why did you save me? Why are you still taking care of me?” Robin wanted to answer with a snarky comment but then he saw how serious she took that question so he simply said:” Because it was the honorable thing to do. I might be a thief but I have a code and it says to help those in need and you, Your Majesty clearly needed it and you still do “

The answer didn’t seem to convince the Queen entirely but she likely was too tired to keep asking for the answer she wanted. Then suddenly she seemed to have realized something, pushed herself deeper into the bed and asked with a frown:” This isn’t the dress I was wearing what…” But before she could finish the sentence Robin interrupted her:” The arrow which hit you had been poised which made it difficult for you to breathe and the dress you were wearing was far too tight so I brought you another one. I swear I only quickly changed you and I saw and touched only what was necessary not more I promise.” As Robin looked at her eyes he again could see so many emotions at once but this time she shortly closed them and as she opened them again they were just dark. It seemed there were many things the Queen liked to ask (or snarl at him for that matter) but she only mumbled:” Poison?”

Robin swallowed and explained to her that the arrow was dipped into Incubus and as soon as she heard the name of the poison she went rigid. So she knew what the poison would do to her and had already been doing to her. The archer tried again to soothe her but she only held up her hand and said with a low voice:” I’m fine, you did you duty now let me go.” Robin groaned annoyed. This woman really stretched his patience. “Milady with all due respect you are injured and in no condition to go anywhere and to be honest I’m getting tired of this forward and backward conversation. And by the way I have a name you know.”

 

Regina’s head snapped around as she heard what the archer had said. How dare he keep trying to tell her what to do? She felt herself getting angry at her savior but at the same time impressed. Not many people were bold enough to stand up to her. Sure she usually presented herself in a more intimating pose that laying in a bed almost losing consciousness from all the pain with every move. Still she had to admit that this awful persistent thief drew her interest and that he really was handsome didn’t hurt either. Also that her heart always skipped a beat when those blue eyes looked at her. Not that she would let him know that.

Despite some attraction between her and him he was insufferable therefore she said with a snarl:” I decide for myself of what I’m capable of doing and enduring and if I’m saying I’m fine you don’t talk back to me understood? Unless you like to lose some precious body parts.” She saw how he slowly lost patience with her. Good that meant he would finally let her do what she wanted.

She needed to get out of here from the start but since he told her with which poison that idiot had hit her she needed to be gone as fast as possible. The pain was something she could deal, she could keep it in but Regina knew what people under the influence of the high fever said and her past was no one’s business specially not that of this thief. So despite the burning pain she felt she tried again to get up for the third time. As the archer realized what she was up to he tried to stop her again with an annoyed frown and grabbed her. Regina didn’t know if it was because of the poison or of his fast movement but she couldn’t stop herself from flinching back. Flashes of memories played before her eyes and she struggled to compose herself. Something he instantly noticed and backed off but still gently holding her wrists. Regina pulled further away and as she looked in the thief’s eyes it was like someone punched her in the gut. The way his blue eyes looked at her like he would see straight through her. It was like he could see every inch of her. It was too much and Regina started to fight against his hold but the fast and forcefully movement was more than her already battered body could take. A pain went violently through her she felt like she was burning. It was like something was ripping her apart, she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see anything. Everything went blurry and Regina felt so dizzy. Regina was panicking she knew pain horrible awful pain but this was worse. Then suddenly she felt Robin’s arms around her, heard his soothing words which made her angry moments ago but now they were everything. She didn’t want him here but she was so scared and he offered comfort. So she gave in just for a second she told herself as she let herself sink against him. Just for a little while till the pain was bearable again and she could demand to be released. But before the pain could abate the darkness pulled her back. The darkness which was so full of hurt and memories showing her over and over again the shattered fragments of her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Cora says hello ;) well at least as a memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people ;) So this is the next chapter which I wanted to upload much earlier but it seemed that my computer took the heatwave we are having at the moment as well as I did  I really hope you like it and if there’s something you like to add please feel free to write me ;) As always I don’t own the characters and all mistakes are mine (it really is damn hot so I’m already apologizing for all the mistakes I probably made…)

Robin couldn’t believe how stubborn this woman was. If she was going to try getting up again he would have to threw all manners out of the window and punch her. It was like it was physically impossible for her to do as told. One of the many reasons why Robin kept away from royals. They were horrible in taking orders and always knew what was best even if they didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. So he finally lost patience with the Queen and used force (very light one of course he didn’t want to hurt her, never her) so he pushed her down which turned out to be a huge mistake. She flinched back and as he saw not just fear but real panic in her eyes so he kicked himself. Robin loosed his grip immediately but it was too late. His actions triggered something and where ever her mind was now he could see that it was a dark painful place. He tried to get through to Regina but the Queen was trapped in whatsoever memory played before her eyes. She went completely rigid again and the look in her eyes broke Robin’s heart. Even worse since he was responsible for it.

Robin then could feel how everything went too much for her body. She started shaking and as he held his hand on her forehead he could feel her burning up. He knew she was in pain physically as well as emotionally. He never meant so hurt her but the more he tried to calm her down the more she fought till she went limp in his arms. She was out again. Robin let her down gently and pulled the covers over her small form. While doing so he could see that the poison did its work again. Regina faced showed again clearly signs of discomfort if not fears and she had started to whimper.

It broke his heart and yet again he asked himself why the hell he cared so much. That woman was a villain and quite an annoying one. Robin knew the tales of the horror of her reign had himself spent many months running away from her black knights but still he couldn’t deny that that woman had awoken something in him. What exactly he wasn’t sure but he knew that seeing her suffer hurt him more than the pain of a stranger was supposed to.

  


Regina didn’t want to go on anymore. She didn’t want to see those images playing before her eyes especially not those with her mother in them. But of course those were exactly the ones she got. Even dead her mother could still hurt her worse than anybody else:

_Regina was about 12 years old and it was a beautiful day the sun was shinning and wind was blowing softly. It had been the ideal day to run around and play. The other children were out there playing hide and seek and Regina wished nothing more than to be out there with them. But that was something her mother would never allow. Those children out there were peasants, commoner and not a fitting company for a girl her status, somebody who was born to be Queen. Regina was sitting in her room and studying for hours but mother wouldn’t accept anything less than perfection. Not that anything Regina was doing would ever be good enough for Cora._

_After watching for some time Regina sighted disappointed as the daughter of the butcher knocked carefully on her window. The girl asked Regina if she would come out with them to the river and play ball or something. Regina debated long with herself she knew her mother wouldn’t approve and would be angry but the other girl looked with so pleading eyes that the young princess finally agreed. As the children played at the river Regina had so much fun that she forgot the time or that it wasn’t a good idea to get her dress dirty. But before any of that could worry Regina she heard a sharp voice calling out for her and as she turned around her mother was standing right behind her looking furious. “What are you doing here my love?” Cora asked with a smile but her voice was cold like ice water._

_Regina felt how she started to tremble with fear but she held her head up high and answered as confident as she could her mother:” I’m so sorry mother I just wanted to take a little break and as Lily asked me to come to the river it sounded like so much fun. I’m really sorry but I already did everything you told me to do. So please mother don’t be angry.” “I told you to stay inside and stay away from this peasants and you disobey me? And you dared to ask her you foolish girl?” Regina blood froze at Cora’s statement especially when she talked to Lily. It was one thing if mother punished her it had been her fault but Lily did nothing wrong. But Cora only hissed “Go away!” The girl looked scared at Regina who only nodded and then the other child was gone._

_Cora looked at her daughter, eyes completely dark and Regina swallowed hard she knew that her actions meant consequences. “How dare you disobey me and talk back to me? Do you want to destroy everything I did for you the sacrifices I made by fooling around with commoners you stupid girl?” Cora hissed at her now from fear shaking daughter. “Mother I’m sorry I only wanted to...” Regina couldn’t finish her sentence as her mother’s magic was lifting her in the air. “Mother please stop I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!” Regina screamed under tears. “Oh you are right my love it won’t,” Cora said and then closed her hand._

_Regina could feel how the magic closed around her throat. She couldn’t breath anymore it was like her lungs were exploding. She tried to beg her mother to stop but the pain was overwhelming and she could see stars before her eyes. This was the moment were Regina was certain she would die. There was coldness in her mother eyes which made the young girls shiver. It was like all the air was pushed out of her as the grip around her neck kept getting stronger and stronger. She wanted to scream, beg, telling her mother that she would be a good girl if only that horrible pain stopped. She was so scared, scared to death of her own mother. But before Regina could do anything else than struggle for breath she heard another voice and then everything went black._

 

It had been a couple hours since Regina went unconscious in his arms and if he thought her begging for this Daniel whoever he had been to her was heart- wrenching he had been mistaken. It was now early evening and Robin had been sitting next to her, watching and trying to keep himself busy. As Regina started to whimper again Robin looked up and gently took her hand in his trying to comfort her and giving his best to understand her pleading. What he heard made him almost break the glass he was holding in his other hand:” Mother please stop you are hurting me. I’ll be a good girl I promise just please stop.” Regina’s voice was like the one of a little girl a very scared little girl and again Robin’s heart broke for her. Silent tears streamed down Regina’s face and Robin gently wiped them away.

Robin thought about his boy and the unconditional love he felt for him, a love every parent should feel for their child. That was how it was supposed to be and no child should ever have to beg their mother to stop hurting them like the Queen had been doing.

Robin decided it was time to try waking Regina up. She hadn’t eaten or drunken something the whole day. Also he didn’t want her to be trapped in whatever hell she had been anymore. So Robin softly shook her and to his relief she opened her eyes which were glassy from the high fever he had been trying for hours now to get down. Nothing he did worked the fever kept spiking. But now she had opened her eyes and to his surprise smiled at him. His joy about the smile didn’t last long. As he whispered a how are you feeling, the Queen answered with a frown:” Everything hurts Daniel everything hurts so much, please make it stop.” Regina didn’t recognize him and that seriously scared Robin. He knew that something like that was common for people with high fever but it also indicated that he had been right. Instead of sinking her fever went worse which meant she was worse. Robin bit his lip in concern and was thinking what else he could do to help her as she spoke up again and grabbed his arm:” Daniel I’m scared will you stay with me please?” Robin looked at surprise where she was holding his arm and gently tried to loosen her grip but suddenly she started to plead with him. “Daniel no please don’t go don’t leave me here, mother she is so angry, I wasn’t a good girl, don’t go I love you.” The thief sighted sadly, stood just there for a moment but then pulled the shivering Queen into his arms and whispered:” I’m here Regina I won’t leave you alone I would never leave you I promise.” Those words seemed to calm her down and she buried herself deeper into Robin’s arms.

She sounded so young and it was hard for Robin to understand that this sweet and scared woman was the same one who killed people without blinking an eye. “I wasn’t a good girl, I didn’t make her proud” Regina said again while tears were streaming down her beautiful face. Robin heart went heavy at her words. So he pulled her closer and slowly kissed her hair while whispering to her:” You are a good girl Regina, everything is alright.” For the first time since he found her the Queen seemed to be somewhat content.

She sighted and closed her eyes but before sleep could take her she said her voice suddenly gone softer:” Thank you Daniel. ”Robin mumbled a you’re welcome into her ear and he could feel her drifting away this time hopefully at a somehow peaceful slumber. As he thought she already fell asleep she said sleepy:” I just want her to love me.” As soon as she had said it Robin could feel how her breathing got even, she was asleep. Despite it he was still holding her couldn’t let go of her yet. He didn’t know why but he sat there and kept her in his arms till it was time for another antidote.

Robin carefully pulled the dress up like he had done it before, prepared himself and poured the fluid over the wound. Like the times before Regina woke up screaming and like the other times Robin took care of her till the worst pain was over. Regina looked up to him with wary eyes so Robin asked how she was feeling which she answered with a sharp I’m fine. “I swear to god milady if you thinking about sitting up again I’ll tell my honor to take a day off and punch a woman for the first time in my life.” Robin told her half serious (well not really he would never punch a woman even though he kind of had the feeling that this woman in front of him could take care of herself quite nicely if he ever would try such an dishonorable act) but with a smirk.

 

Regina felt like hell. Every part of her body hurt and she felt so dizzy. She had quite some trouble to keep her eyes focused on the horrible thief in front of her. The last couple of hours had been a nightmare. Like she feared the simply physical pain combined itself with the emotional one and she had spent the last hours going from one heartbreaking memory to another mostly occupied with her dear mother.

And to make everything worse Regina was sure she said something in her feverish delirium since the way that insufferable men looked at her had changed. While he had been mostly annoyed or concerned he now had something else in his eyes something she couldn’t deal with. She saw pity. Everything he was doing from his looks to his movements towards her had gone far more gently than they had before and she almost sighted in relief as some sass were thrown at her at his part. Despite it he already had seen far more of her than she was willing to show.

Regina didn’t remember everything but she certainly did know that at some point she was crying in his arms even though she didn’t remember the reason. Which was leading to another problem. Regina knew she had to get out of here but she also had to admit that the thief had been right. She was in no condition to go anywhere, the price she had paid for the attempts before had been high. The pain worse than any other before.

So Regina decided it was best to piss the archer so off that he would to what was necessary to keep her alive (since he had his precious honor Regina thought while rolling her eyes) but let her be in peace otherwise. So she composed herself, made sure her face showed clear disgust and snarled: “Like I said thief I do as I’m pleased and I rather have it if you and your quite nauseating smell get out and leave me alone. I’m normally polite enough to endure the companionship of a worthless peasants but I’m in pain so if you would excuse yourself. Oh and as said before if you ever dare to touch me with those dirty hands again I’ll have them chopped off.” Regina could watch how Robin’s face turned into an angry scowl. Good she had offended him. So she waited for him to lash back at her of leave the tent but he just stood there taking deep breaths. He was calming himself down. He was good but Regina saw him slowly losing his self-control. So she got ready for another insult to threw at him as the tent opened and a little boy came in. That little boy was the cutest kid Regina had ever seen.

He was about 4 years old, had long dark curls and dimples. Dimples just like… But before Regina had time to put one and one together the little boy jumped into Robin’s arms and screamed:” Papa you said Majesty isn’t awake but look she isn’t sleeping anymore. Can I give her my present now?” Regina watched how Robin carefully lifted the boy from the ground and threw him in the air which made the boy laugh and as much as she tried to hide it, it made her smile too.

She saw how Robin put his son down and looked at her seemingly not sure what to do. But his boy didn’t seem to need so much time as his father, he immediately stood right in front her and looked at her curiously. Since he now didn’t have much of a choice Robin went on his knees next to his son to introduce them to each other:” Your Majesty this is my son Roland. He was here when I brought you in and he wanted to give you a present so …” But before Robin could finish his sentence the little boy interrupted him:” Papa said you are sick Majesty and if someone is sick presents make them feel better.” With that Roland pulled a little bouquet of flowers, red and white ones out which he had kept behind his back smiling at her shyly. Before Regina could react anyhow to the flowers she felt Robins hand on her arm and as she looked up he shot a warning glare at her.

Even though for once this wasn’t necessary. That little boy had a hold at her heart from the moment he grinned at her so she only said softly:” It’s an honor to meet you Roland and thank you very much. Those are the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen.” Roland practically beamed at her after what she said and asked with big eyes:” Really the most beautiful?” “Yes dear the most beautiful,” she answered and found herself smiling fondly at the little guy. “Papa did you hear Majesty said my flowers are the bestest,” Roland said to his father while excitedly jumping up and down. Robin answered with a gentle smile:” It’s best not bestest my boy and yes she did. Something like that from a Queen is quite an honor. But Regina is tired now Roland so tell her goodbye alright.” To Regina’s surprise the almost four year old seemed disappointed that he already had to leave but nevertheless he turned around and then did something which made Regina gasp. He kissed her on the cheek as soft as he could and said:” Goodbye Majesty get well soon because if you are well again we can play together.”

For a moment Regina was so stunned that she couldn’t say anything but then she coughed slightly and smiled at the boy and whispered like it was their secret:” Roland boys who bring the most beautiful flowers to a Queen a very special. So you can call me Regina.” If it was even possible Robin’s son started to smile even more and nodded eagerly:” Really? Papa Gina said I’m special.” Robin just nodded but also his smile had gone quite bright. Again something Regina couldn’t quite understand but before she could think more about it the boy said goodbye again and she gently whispered:” Goodbye dear, I hope I will be up to play with you soon.” She wanted just to give him a little smile but as he beamed at her she couldn’t stop herself from beaming too.

Robin was about to explode. He couldn’t believe this woman. He had spent the last few hours trying everything to save her life and she was now acting like a damn presumptuous ungrateful snob. Robin wasn’t sure if anybody he ever met had the ability to let his blood boil like it did right now. She was provoking him on purpose he knew that but his patience was slowly dying . Robin was exhausted and the Queen as much she made his heart beating faster (not that that was something he would ever admit) he never met a more complicated person. So he was about to snap having as much a temper as she had but then remembering the pain in her eyes, her pleading, her tears. So he pulled himself together and took some deep breaths.

But as soon as he calmed down that damn woman threw the next insult on him and Robin was now finally about to lose it. The archer opened his mouth and was about to shot back as his little boy emerged. Roland jumped into his arms looking at him reproachfully since he hadn’t told him that the Queen was awake and if he could give her his present. As soon as Robin put his boy back on the ground after throwing him in the air Roland sat next to the Queen.

Robin wasn’t sure what to do next. He knew how important this was for his son but he wasn’t sure how Regina would react to all of this and he couldn’t let his boy get hurt by her rude behavior. So he threw a waring glare at her but as soon she started to talk to the boy all his worries were proofed unnecessary. To his big surprise (and delight) Regina was wonderful with his boy. Robin had to admit he never seen Roland get on with somebody especially a stranger that well. His son practically beamed at every word the Queen was saying and as she whispered he was a special boy he almost burst with pride. As he was watching the pair he couldn’t to otherwise than smile too. The whole situation turned out far from what he had expected.

When Robin told his son it was time to leave Regina to rest he almost chuckled at the disappointed look his son threw at him. As Regina told him they would play together (to Robin’s big surprise and he didn’t know why this made him so happy) as soon as she was up to it Robin couldn’t stop himself from grinning. Roland was about to leave the tent but turned to Regina at her promise and smiled brightly and something happened which made Robin heart stop beating for two or three seconds: Regina returned the smile she also was practically beaming at his son and Robin was sure that this was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He realized that that was something he wanted to see as often as possible. Seeing the Queen smile so freely had made his heart flutter. There suddenly was a sparkling in her eyes when she beamed like that and now since he had seen this he wanted it to happen again.

As Robin turned to Regina he saw the smile slowly disappearing only to be replaced by such sadness that his heart was bleeding for her. Robin later didn’t know what was so special about this moment. If it was because his son was so fond of her or because he saw a completely different side of her or maybe because he never saw a more intriguing smile than the one the Queen gave Roland. In the end it probably didn’t matter but this was the day Robin of Locksley decided that he would fight for Regina. If just till she was well again but he would do anything in his power to make that pained broken look in her eyes disappear. He wanted to figure out who this woman was not the Queen but Regina. Even if she would fight tooth and nail Robin would break through the walls this woman built so carefully up in all those years and maybe he was naive but everybody deserved a second chance. You just have to open your eyes to see it and maybe Robin was the right person to help the Queen open hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Robin helping Regina through another hour of hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys it’s still damn hot (here and between our Queen an Outlaw ;)) and I really hope you like it. I don’t own the characters and as always I’m responsible for all mistakes made. Please let me know what you think

If the Queen ever should achieve her second chance she needed to survive this. Which meant it was more than time to eat and drink something. Robin had fetched some water for her and had asked one of his Merry Men to make a soup for Regina. Something her stomach hopefully could keep in. The Queen had turned around in her bed lying on her back, eyes closed. She hadn’t said a word since Roland had left. But her uneven breathing told Robin that she was still awake so the slowly approached her and said with a concern frown:” Milady it was a long day you must be thirsty. I’ve fetched some water for you fresh from the near river.”

Robin kneeled next to her and to his big surprise she reached for the cup with water without protests. He carefully handed it to her only to realize that she didn’t had enough strength to hold it herself. Her fingers only slightly went around it and not matter how hard she seemed to try it, it would’ve slipped from her fingers if Robin had ever let go of it. The archer saw how but only for a moment tears were gathering in her eyes. All the pain and terror she went through didn’t seem to scare her as much as this simple showing of weakness. A weakness that was more than understandable. But somehow he knew that that was a sore subject for Regina.

Based on the aggressive poison that ran through her body she was in quite a good shape. Well that or she simply could take pain in with such grace that it seemed like it. Robin was quite sure the second one came closer to the truth. Regardless now was the moment where Regina clearly had problems keeping a good face and compose herself to the perfect strong monarch she present everyone.

Despite knowing that he took a risk here Robin grabbed the cup and as cautions as he would be if he was approached a wounded animal he put his hand under Regina’s head and carefully lifted it. As he expected Regina immediately struggled against his hold but before she could tell him how he dared to touch her and that he will get his hand chopped off he spoke up loud and clear:” I know what you are going to say milady but like it or not your body isn’t strong enough at the moment. Given time and rest you soon will be able to kick my ass again but for now, please let me help.” She hadn’t said a word yet but Robin could see how she was trying to find an insult or a snarky contra to throw him off. Robin knew he had a big mouth (his dear friends never forget telling him that) and he never backed down from a fight even one with words. But he could feel how even this little arguing costed her strength. Strength she so clearly needed for other things like trying to stay alive. So Robin decided it was time to use another way. This one might be a bit unfair but he never encountered a more stubborn woman so sometimes fighting dirty was probably alright. “Before you say anything how you are fine even though you’re fighting against one of the most vicious poison known to mankind please think how Roland would feel if I were to tell him that his Queen didn’t survive the night. Didn’t survive because she was too proud to let a simple but very handsome thief give her a hand.” As Robin looked down to Regina he knew he had won. Even though she threw an evil glare at him that probably would’ve made the biggest men shiver the mention of Roland seemed to convince her to take help. At least for this one time.

So as Regina nodded Robin gently put the cup on her lips( her beautiful lips where now dry and chapped)and she cautiously drank a couple of sips. As it was clear that she had enough Robin let her down and put the water aside. There again was a look in those beautiful eyes Robin couldn’t clearly define. He saw fear but there was something else something he would to everything to figure out. Then she suddenly looked straight up at him and for a few moments it was like the air was charged. The moment was over as quickly as it came and Robin to gloss over the awkward silence that was now between them said with a smirk: “George will later come with a bit soup. Will you just accept my help or do I need to use my son again?”

He only got a hissed “Bastard” back from her but her eyes softened. So Robin took it for yes. „Charming as always Your Majesty.” Robin shot back not really being able to hide his grin. The Queen only rolled her eyes and turned away from him but not without a mumbled:” Far more than an outlaw deserves.” Robin thought for a second he should feel offended but had to admit he liked her sass. She never seemed to be at a loss for words. Something he found very appealing even if it was rather exhausting at times.

They were in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one and Robin used it to let his eyes roam over the beautiful woman in front of him. Her updo now finally loosened completely and her long dark silky hair was falling down in soft waves. Robin imaged how it would fell to stroke trough it every day. Something he really liked to find out, not that she probably would ever let him. But a man can dream right? Before any of them could say anything the tent opened again and George came in with the soup which Robin took with a grateful smile and turned to Regina. Let the next fight begin.

Regina really had been thirsty as the thief had mentioned the water so she didn’t protest against it. But as she grabbed after the cup she wished she had. Not matter how hard she tried she couldn’t hold it, it was too heavy. She had been able to keep it together all the time till now. She wasn’t even capable to hold that damn cup, she was weak and there was nothing Regina hated more than being weak. Weakness was dangerous, weakness is what got people hurt and she didn’t want to be hurt again. Then Regina realized that that already happened. She was hurt because she wasn’t strong when she needed to be. She let this stupid peasants come close to her. If she would’ve been more alert, if she would’ve been better…Before she could get lost completely in her self-loathing Robin gently lifted the cup to her lips. It was a nice gesture but it made even worse for Regina. She hadn’t just be weak she had an audience. So she struggled has much as she could against his grip.

But Robin instead of getting angry like she thought stayed calm. She expected to see annoyance or pity but his eyes told a different story. (Well and the fact that he was using his adorable son against her. She didn’t want Roland to experience the unfairness of life because of her). An understanding flashed up in his eyes. Like earlier this damn thief could she right through her and like earlier it scared her but it also was oddly comforting. So Regina finally let it happen and almost sighed in relief as the cold water ran down her throat.

As he gently let her down Regina looked up at time and then she caught her breathe. The way Robin looked at her and it was like like… Regina didn’t know how to describe it just that it made her heart beat a bit faster. It seemed that both couldn’t tear their eyes away from each other. Then the moment was over and Regina looked uncertain what just happened to the ground. A sudden silence was between them which Robin finally broke. As he told her that one of his men made soup for her and threw one snarky comment after another at her Regina couldn’t stop herself from grinning as she finally turned away from him. Of course she answered him in the same way and if she would admit it she really enjoyed that the outlaw wasn’t afraid to give her contra. They were again in silence but this one wasn’t uncomfortable. Before any of them could break it a men came into the tent probably the one with the soup but Regina didn’t turn around. She felt how Robin cautiously drew closer to her so she debated for a second with herself if she should let him feed her. It was one thing getting help to drink but this was so humiliating and it was out of the question that she want help with it. But Regina hunger eventually won so she turned around to face his direction and before Robin could plead with her again she said as neutral as she could:” No you don’t have to use your son again.”

She could see that she surprised him and couldn’t stop herself from smiling as he put a spoon full of soup into his own mouth to check if everything was alright. The soup clearly was still too hot so Robin yelped in pain as the hot fluid touched his lips. Which made Regina only laugh more and earned her an angry glare from a certain thief. He mumbled that it was far too hot and put it aside to let it cool off. So now they were facing each other and Regina could see that he had something on his mind and was debating if he should ask her or not.

Regina hoped he didn’t but no she didn’t have such luck as he looked at her with an uneasy frown. Eventually he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore and he asked softly:” Who is Daniel?” Regina swallowed hard that was exactly the question she was afraid of. She was about to tell him to mind his own damn business but then she saw curiosity but also honest genuine interest in her. So Regina chewed on her lip thinking of a good response. She thought for a moment about lying just tell the outlaw Daniel had been an old friend but somehow she couldn’t. Besides she was quite sure that he had already an idea who he was to her based on the amount of nightmares she had about him and his death.

So Regina decided to tell Robin the truth well at least some part of it:” Daniel was my fiancé.” ” Was? Is he…?” Robin asked like he already knew the answer what he might really did. “Dead? Yes he died many years ago. Daniel was... he was a good man, kind and gentle.” Regina answered smiling just on the thought of her Daniel. “And you loved him right? “ Robin asked but it sounded more than a fact than a question. “Yes I did more than anything. He was the only one who…” Regina stopped herself but before she could come up with a good not so much revealing answer Robin ended the sentence for her:” understood and loved you like no one ever has.” Regina was taken back for a second at his response but then simply nodded at his statement. Yes Daniel understood her and he loved her with an intensity and pureness and in the end that was exactly what had him killed. “May I ask what happened to him milady?” Robin asked softly. “He was killed.” Regina responded neither capable nor wanting to go into further detail. Alone the memory of Daniel threated to drown her again and Robin seemed to sense the shift of mood into something darker because he carefully put his hand on hers and draw small circles. Regina first flinched from the touch but it slowly felt comforting so she let it happen.

Probably to take the tension away Robin grabbed the bowl of soup and looked at her wondering. Regina finally nodded and thankfully without any more comments he helped her up and fed her the soup which was far better than Regina imagined food which was cooked in the middle of some forest to be. Despite the good taste Regina felt her stomach already revolting against the third spoon of the soup and it took all her willpower not to throw it up on him. Robin sensed her discomfort put the soup away and asked her softly:” You alright You Majesty?” If Regina hadn’t been so busy trying to keep it down she would’ve probably been annoyed at that so compassionate tone of his voice but now she only shook her head. A movement she immediately regretted because her stomach decided to disobey her and to her horror she couldn’t stop herself from throwing up.

Robin was strangely happy about that he made her smile again. Even though it involved getting burned by soup. She seemed to be better so he decided to take the risk to asking her about Daniel, the name she said over and over again but as he expected she went tense just by the mention of the name. But there was also something else in her eyes. It was a glimpse of another woman a more hopeful and happy one. Her voice became soft as soon as she started to speak about him and Robin knew he hadn’t been some schoolgirl crush she had been seriously in love. So he watched the change in her with amazement.

There was a light in her dark eyes he never seen before and her smile was real not some half-hearted role-playing one, a real bright one. But as fast the light came as fast was it again replaced by a heavy darkness by his question what happened to the men. Also the answer he got wasn’t really satisfying but he knew he wouldn’t get more out of her at the moment so to cheer her up he grabbed the soup with a smirk and looked at her waiting for consent. Robin hoped the soup would help her sadly he was to 100% wrong.

Her entire body shook violently as everything came up again and since she had already been in such pain everything became unbearable. But like the last time when she had the feeling she was about to fall apart strong arms hold her up and pulled her long hair back. Robin whispered soothing words to her and rubbed little circles on her back. After a few moments (it felt like an eternity for Regina) her stomach calmed down and she sunk exhausted against Robin. Regina was so embarrassed that she didn’t dare to look at him and silently whispered: “I’m sorry” and tried to turn away from him but Robin only tighten his grip around her and whispered:” It’s alright milady you have nothing to be sorry for.”

For the second time today Regina felt how tears gathered in her eyes but this time because nobody ever showed her so much kindness than that stranger who was still holding her gently. If that would’ve happened with her mother or Leopold well they probably just would have her let her lie in her own vomit till she was ready to get up herself. Robin on the contrary helped her clean herself up and not once he complained or did anything else then reassuring her silently that everything was alright.

As they were done and Robin helped her back in her bed she was so exhausted that she didn’t even were annoyed at his worried looks. Regina almost sighted in relief as her head hit the pillow and the world finally stopped spinning like she had drunken an entire box of red wine.

Robin’s heart became heavy as he was holding Regina hair back as her trembling body was fighting against every bit of food she just ate with so much trouble. Robin whispered in her ear trying to sooth her but he could feel most of it was in vain. Regina clearly was again in that kind of pain which made the strong and proud woman whimper like a child. As fast as it started Regina’s stomach finally stopped and apparently so did some of the pain. Robin was still holding her tightly as he felt her leaning against him. Having her in his arms even though he would prefer different circumstances was a nice feeling.

Like the whole situation wasn’t already breaking his heart for her Robin had to swallow hard at her whispered “I’m sorry”. She was feeling guilty he realized, the great and terrible Evil Queen apologized to a common thief because she had thrown up in his tent and he had to take care of her. Yet again Robin understood that this woman wasn’t the one everybody thought she was. As he was telling her that no apology was necessary he saw tears glistering in her eyes but it wasn’t that what made his heart wrench it was the look of utterly surprise, surprise that somebody would stay with her during all of this. Robin kind of got the suspicion that it might have been a very long time if ever that somebody really had been taking care of her.

And that made him angry. So he hold Regina just a bit closer than before smiling as he felt her leaning against him. As he hoped she was strong enough he helped her getting cleaned up the entire time telling her it was alright not giving her a chance to apologize again. As he carefully lifted her back in her bed she was almost limb in his arms. She had to be exhausted like hell after this ordeal. So he only made sure she was comfortable and then pressed softly a kiss on her with sweat covered forehead. Robin hold his breath at her reaction remembering the way she flinched back at every of his touch when she wasn’t too exhausted or in pain to do so. But Regina smiled it was only a small one but it was so genuine that it made Robin’s heart flutter. Then her eyes closed and she fell asleep drained out by what had happen.

Shortly before sleep took her Regina felt anxious. She wasn’t sure if it was the poison, the throwing up or Robin. All above she guessed. As she was lying in that bed trying to keep her eyes open Robin’s face suddenly was hovering above her and for a moment she was scared. But the outlaw only bended down to her and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. As she looked up she could see the worried look in his eyes the wondering if he had over-stepped. And maybe it was because she was so tired or even though she still was trying to deny it, because this kind and caring man awoken something in her bruised heart she thought she had lost a long time ago. So Regina gave the thief a smile and also for the first time in ages she meant it.

With the memory of his sweet kiss Regina let the darkness pull her in only to be welcomed by pain. Pain in form of her former mentor and one of their many lessons. Regina tried to stay focus on Robin and his little boy but soon she found herself again in on of most horrible lessons Rumple ever taught her: the power of control. So the old memory sucked her in and instead of hearing Robin’s kind voice all she heard was the mad giggling of Rumplestiltskin and hell started again.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Robin looked down at the sleeping Queen thinking about probably the strangest day in this life. Well and the fact where he should spent the night since a certain dark haired beauty occupied his bed. He decided that it would be the best to stay the night with Regina, too dangerous to leave her all by herself in this condition. Also one part of him worried about his men not regarding them being in danger since the Queen clearly was in no shape to even plot any evil planes much less act on them but Robin also knew that despite the code of honor there were people under his men who hated Regina with every fiber of their being. So he couldn’t take a chance he promised her she wouldn’t get hurt and he was planning to keep his word.

So Robin bit his son good night ( not without agreeing to letting Roland make Regina breakfast hoping she would be able to keep it in this time) and sat up a place to sleep next to Regina ready to keep an eye one her. As the sun was disappearing and the sky became darker and darker Robin laid on some blankets and pillows carefully watching her since she seemingly was captured in bad dreams again. As Robin put his hand on Regina’s forehead he sighted in concern. She still was practically burning up. So he got a wet cloth and placed it gently on her forehead. Hopefully that would let the fever sink at least a bit.

It was midnight and he had about two hours till it was time for the next dose of antidote. Regina’s entire body was covered in sweat and not for the first time Robin asked himself if the Queen would be strong enough to survive it. He had learnt by now that Regina was stronger and more stubborn than anyone he had ever met. It was almost unbelievable that somebody or something would be able to break her or in this case kill her. Regina was like a force of nature. But Robin also has seen what the poison had been doing to her and he wasn’t sure if that was a fight Regina could win. A thought that made his heart clench in way it wasn’t supposed to after only knowing her for about eighteen hours or so. Nevertheless of what he was feeling the Queen’s condition was bad.

Her entire body was trembling and her breathing went fast and uneasy. Something clearly was troubling her and Robin wished there was something he could do to help her to ease the pain even just a little bit. For a moment he was debating waking her again to pull her out of what was clearly a painful memory but she needed the sleep her body was craving it for the entire evening. So all Robin could do was whispering reassuring words and gently petting her hair. He loved her hair loved stroking through it one thing he always was taking advantaged when the Queen was unconscious since he knew she would never let someone comfort her even less letting someone getting so close to her if she was awake. Even though it always calmed her down and was able to sooth her even if the poison and its affect had a tight grip on her.

So Robin continued knowing that she probably would rip him apart if she was to regain consciousness never admitting how much she cherished those caring touches. He thought of the ways she first flinched back from him as he tried to hold her such a fear in her eyes that Robin felt the strong( and not rational) desire to punch the person responsible for her general distrust in other human beings. Despite watching over her for the last hours caring for her Robin still hasn’t been able to fully relax when he was in the Queens company.

The archer wasn’t a fool he was very well aware of what the dark haired woman was capable of and the thought of it made him feel uneasy but also curious. He had seen the look in her eyes when he had found her. There had been fear of course but also anger hot boiling deadly rage in her brown eyes. It had been fierce, powerful and raw in a way Robin wasn’t sure he had ever seen it and it unsettled him. He had heard this woman begging shadows of her past to stop hurting her, she had been crying in his arms, showed him even not willingly a vulnerability not matching the regal cold woman she presented. He had seen how kind and caring she had been with his son, had seen a woman stunned at the fact that someone would come her aid.

Robin tried to understand how a woman could kill people so effortless but at the same time making a child beam with pride having so much love in her eyes that it was almost impossible that it could be replaced by so much darkness Robin knew it was a part of her. But maybe despite what everyone believed not the important or even the essential part of her. Maybe just nobody cared enough to look behind the armor the Queen had built up so carefully.

Robin wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, he only knew that he wanted to get to know Regina and was hoping at the same time that his gut had been right. That the important part of her was Regina and not the Evil Queen. With that thought on his mind Robin slowly fell asleep being exhausted from the events of the day.

While Robin had fallen in a dreamless slumber Regina wasn’t offered such a comfort. At the moment it was her mentor who was occupying her dreams, he and the first time she ripped out her own heart:

_Regina had thrown up after her last lesson with Rumple. She had killed this girl in a rush of her own pain she had killed an innocent. She was just hurting so bad she wanted someone to feel at least an inch of wrenching breathtaking pain she had been feeling for so long. Daniel was gone forever. That was something she had to accept but it broke her heart. So she did what Rumple wanted her do to and now all she could see was the lifeless eyes of that girl whoever she had been. She was disgusted by herself and clueless what she should do now._

* * *

 

_Rumple was excepting her for another lesson a very important one he said but Regina was scared. Not of her teacher but of herself and what she was capable of, scared of becoming like mother. She didn’t want go to another lessons but what choice did she have? If she didn’t learn how to control her magic she would be trapped in her golden cage forever. Bounded to her monster of husband and his brat forced to play wife and mother. This was unacceptable. Regina wanted her own life she needed options and as far as she knew Rumple was the only one who could help her getting what she wanted. Freedom, a chance to make her own choices something that has been taken from her a long time ago._

_So despite knowing that it probably was wrong Regina went to the man who was called The Dark One and it wouldn’t take long till she regretted going to him. Today he wanted to teach her how to take control. First you take control of others and then you’ll be able to take control back of your life. That was what Rumple was telling her as he ordered her to rip out her own hear. It was a strange feeling being without a heart. Even stranger holding your own heart in your hand. It was red and beating with some dark sprinkles on it._

_Regina felt numb but also somehow free. All the drowning emotions were gone. It was like she was finally capable of breathing again. At the same time she hated the feeling since also the love she felt for Daniel began to dull not disappear but losing on intensity. “Feels strange doesn`t it?” Rumple asked her with a knowing smirk. Regina only nodded because yes it was strange she didn’t really know how to explain what she was feeling or for that matter wasn’t feeling. Before Regina could reply anything more Rumple had taken her heart into his hands and grinned madly. “On your knees Your Majesty.” The next thing Regina knew that no matter how hard she fought against the command her body bended Rumplestiltski’s will and she fell to her knees in front of him. She had fought tooth and nail to avoid it but the magic had been stronger. Regina had to hold back her tears on how humiliated she felt in this moment on the ground knowing that Rumple could make her do whatever he wanted. Now finally understanding what he had meant by the words full control. Because that was what he had now, fully and completely over her and she realized there wasn’t anything she hated more. Her mentor kept control over her for over an hour forcing her to do things which were either stupid or left her without her dignity._

_“It’s time for the last part of our lesson today Your Majesty,” Rumple snored at Regina who got up from the ground turning to her teacher with blank hatred as he spoke again:” You’ve experienced death and control now it’s time for the in between.” As she looked at him with confusion he said with a grin: “Pain Regina raw and horrifying pain you will be able to inflict upon you not so loyal subjects.” As he had said these words he began squeezing Regina’s heart slightly. He didn’t even used much force knowing how much a heart could take without turning into dust but enough that Regina fell back on the ground the vicious pain running through her worse than everything she ever felt. As suddenly as it started it stopped and she was lying in front of her mentor tears streaming down her face her feet still trembling so severe that getting up on her own was out of the question._

_Regina looked up to her teacher seeing the satirized grin on his face a grin she would love to wipe away with all her being. “You did well today dearie, see you tomorrow,” Rumple whispered to her, pushed her heart back in her chest and disappeared in a cloud of smoke leaving Regina still shaking on the ground. It took almost ten minutes till her feet obeyed her again and she could walk back to the castle trying to hide her tears._

* * *

 

Robin woke up as Regina’s whimpers got louder. He turned to her and watched her tossing around with a concerned frown. He thought about waking her as he realized it was already time for her next dose of the antidote so he grabbed it and prepared himself to see Regina suffer again. As many times before Regina woke up screaming even though this time she caught her breath faster than the other times but her eyes were still feverish as she looked up at him. „Hi milady how are you feeling?” Robin asked her already knowing the answer and as predicted all the got back was an “I’m fine thief” from her. Robin only sighted took the cup and refilled it with water gently holding it on her lips again which she accepted without a comment.

But as soon she was done she turned away from him pressing her lips together and closed her eyes again. Robin would’ve have thought she might like to go back to sleep but her entire body was so tense that Robin hoped it didn’t hurt her. She had opened up a bit before not much but she did. Now all walls were perfectly in place again. The Queen was back and the glimpse he had seen of Regina was gone. But that was something Robin would do anything to change.” What was your last dream about?” Robin asked and closed the distance between them. “None of your concern outlaw,” Regina snapped back still not facing him. Many people probably would have back off if the Evil Queen snarled at them like Regina just did but Robin wasn’t intimidated easily so he went on. “You don’t wanna talk about your dream fine than tell me how Daniel died?” Robin tried again. At first he didn’t get an answer at all just her breathing , in and out then:” Again none of your concern so leave me be and let me sleep.” Regina said those words so calmly and emotionless that Robin just wanted any reaction from her just not hear the cold lifeless tone her voice was having at the moment anymore.

He knew she was tired and in pain but she spent by now so many hours in those likely horrible dreams Robin wanted to do something help her in some way. He couldn’t just ignore all the screaming, whimpering and crying of the last hours some she probably was unaware that it had happened. But he was talking to a woman who was a master in holding up her mask letting no emotion slip through her armor even in her current state. So Robin knew to get through to her he might would have to go on dangerous territory. He started to play the last hours in his mind to choose which memory had unsettled her most.

He didn’t want to hurt her that was by no means his intend but he needed a reaction from her, he needed to see the fight in her again. Those big brown eyes had looked at him so hopeless and despite knowing that she might just be the strongest person he ever known he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had given up. Given up in that moment he had found her. There had been this look in her eyes for the first time but not the last. Robin didn’t know what they meant at first but now he was pretty sure: The strong invincible Queen in front of him was about to give up and let the poison take her life. The last couple of hours had just been the last flame of her strength but as soon as the memories rained down on her the flame was getting smaller and smaller and what he just had seen in her eyes before she turned away scared him.

Because it came damn close to surrender and that was something Robin wouldn’t, no could not let happening. So he was willing to take the risk to end up being turned into a toad and asked calmly but firm:” Do you love your mother Regina?” he heard how she inhaled sharply and turned around slowly glaring at him in a way that made him shiver. Good he had made her angry, angry was good angry meant she was still fighting maybe not the poison but at least him and that was a start. “Don’t you dare talk about my mother thief or I swear to god I’m going to rip your heart out and squeeze it to ash if it’s the last thing I do,” she hissed at him her voice suddenly deep and dangerously low.

Robin wasn’t impressed so he only came closer to her looking straight into her eyes not backing down:” To rip my heart out Your Majesty you have to survive and that means you need to fight so as long as you let the poison win I can say to you whatever I want. You need to talk about that pain or it will eat you alive and the poison will have fair game.” Regina looked like she seriously was about to rip him apart and for a second Robin could see her in full Evil Queen mode. It scared him only for a second because despite the murderous look the pain and heartbreak were still so present in those big brown eyes. So Robin hold her gaze as she replied:” Who do you think you are…” Before Regina could end her sentence Robin cut her off:” The charming men who saved your royal ass. You gave up Regina and I have to say I expected more from a woman who everybody bows down to.” Regina’s eyes went wide at his words and she was about to shot back but Robin wasn’t finished yet:” You are giving up but I’m gonna tell you something. I’m not going to let that happen and if it’s the last thing I’m going to do Your Majesty.” Robin saw how his last word had made something click in her. Her eyes started to become wet and before he could say anything further she exploded.

* * *

Regina boiled with rage as the damn thief started to talk about Daniel kept asking question but then he dared to bring the topic of her mother up and so she snapped at him. But instead of getting scared and running away from her like everyone else would he only came closer showing not intension of leaving her in peace. Once again Regina was impressed by the outlaw but she also felt herself cornered. She was so angry but also too tired to really fight back. She just wanted everything to end. But then that insufferable man throw those words at her: you are giving up.

So Regina turned herself to him as fast as her battered body allowed her to but before she could throw another death threat at him ( which had still left him quite unimpressed to her surprise ) he was the one who threw her off. That he was saying that she was giving up (she wasn’t right? she wouldn’t...) made her angry but as he told her he wouldn’t let that happen she was lost at words. He would fight for her. Nobody had fought for her since Daniel, nobody and the way he was looking at her like he understood. But he didn’t, he had no idea who she was but why did his eyes tell her otherwise?

As she sat up she wanted him to look away to stop reading her like she was an open book and then all the emotion in that tent became too much and before Regina could stop herself the words already came out of her mouth: Oh thief you want to talk about my dream about how I ripped my own heart out because Rumple told me so? How I killed an innocent girl because I wanted to let others feel the pain I was feeling? You want to know how my Daniel died? How my mother crushed his heart into dust so I could marry the king?” Regina’s lip was trembling now and the tears which gathered in her eyes were threating to fall.” You want to know how it was to watch the love of my life dying in my arms? Knowing that you lost everything you had because a stupid brat couldn’t keep her mouth shut”

At the last words Regina couldn’t keep the tears at bay anymore and they were running down her face.” You said I gave up but tell me Robin why wouldn’t I? I lost the love of my life the only one who believed in me is dead. Everyone else only sees me as the Evil Queen, as a a.. monster!” Regina was sobbing now and it hurt everything hurt. Her body, her heart and her soul.” You want to know if I loved my mother? The answer is yes , yes I did and wished I didn’t. Because nothing hurts more than loving someone when you know you will never be good enough for them you will never be the daughter she wished to have. So thief was that enough talking for you or is there anything you still liked to know?”

Regina tried but even the last words didn’t come out as sharp as she wanted them to be. They sounded tired and maybe a bit defeated. Regina felt how more and more tears came no matter how hard she tried to stop them. Maybe it was the poison or that fact that for the first time in ages she had someone who was willing to listen but she couldn’t pull herself together at least not yet. She tried to avoid the thief’s eyes but he was looking for hers as he tipped up her chin gently. Regina expected to see pity or disgust but all Robin showed her was sympathy and if she wasn’t completely wrong pride. Regina was confused but also too tired to try to understand what exactly was happening here. “No it’s enough for now. I would like to say I’m sorry I upset you but for the first time you were the strong powerful woman I know you are. So I’m only gonna say I’m sorry for what has happened to you. None of it was fair and I’m truly sorry.” Regina wanted to throw some sarcasm at him but the sincerity in his eyes made that impossible. What the hell was this man doing to her?

Regina suddenly felt very tired so much that she barely could hold her eyes open anymore. The whole outburst had drained her too many emotions in a too short amount of time. Maybe the exhaustion was the reason why she didn’t protest as Robin carefully pulled her into his arms, maybe that was the reason why she stopped fighting against the tears and let herself cry in the embrace of the man she just shortly ago tried to get away as far as possible. Or maybe it was because for the first time somebody fought for her and even though that thought frightened her she didn’t stop Robin as his grip around her tightened and as he gave her a little kiss on her hair a small smile appeared on the Queens face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey my lovely people hope you had a great week. So someone pointed out that Regina hasn’t used the bathroom yet and there’s a reason for it seeing this chapter. Here you have some cute DimpleQueen, some snarky OutlawQueen but only cuteness would be boring right? So dear old Leopold will make an appearance and I really hate him ;) So enjoy but please keep in mind that the end will be about marital rape so if this triggers you skip it and take care. I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made

Robin was surprised at her outburst and even more at the tears which were now gathering in her eyes. Those eyes which were now so full of pain that his heart once again broke for her. He didn’t know what exactly was happening why she opened up to him and he clearly couldn’t explain why this meant so much too him, hearing how she shared parts of her dark past with him. She was the Evil Queen after all a woman who killed without mercy and it hadn’t passed a second where his men made clear that they thought he was out of his mind for helping the Queen and kept asking why.

But Robin didn’t have an answer for them because he had really no idea himself. There was something about her that he just couldn’t shake off. He was telling himself that it was because of his deep need to do the honorable thing and saving an injured woman in need was certainly the honorable thing to do. Then why did it hurt so much hearing her voice trembling as she spoke about what Rumpelstiltskin made her do( god he hated that men with all he was still was wondering what exactly happened between the imp and Regina) how her tears fell down as she talked about her dead love but what made him almost regret that he pushed her to taking was her reaction to bringing up her mother.

His question about her was the one who made her losing control, which let the perfect mask fall and tears she seemed to try so hard to stop from falling were unstoppable. She looked so small and hurt that Robin took the risk and pulled her into his arms. Like he predicted she was tense at first but then slowly Robin could feel how she started to relax and to his surprise Regina let him hold her. He even could swear as he tightened his hold she snuggled closer to him.

Amazed by the feeling of having her in his arms ( why did it feel like she always belonged there in his embrace he barely knew her and he still wasn’t sure if he could ever trust her or ever should but still…). Robin didn’t know how long they stayed like this, her crying and he offering comfort but he didn’t dare to move scared to lose the moment. But then she slowly withdrew from his hold and looked up at him with uncertainty and a bit of shame in her dark eyes. Robin only smiled gently at her trying to have his facial expression as blank as possible not to overwhelm her. Every time she has opened up to him in the last hours it always ended with her pushing him away again. One step forwards and two back and Robin hoped to avoid that this time. But before he could say something Regina opened her mouth, bit her lip and the closed it again seemingly debating about something. Robin patiently waited for her to speak up and she finally did her voice barely more than a whisper sounding almost scared:” Robin I need to use the bathroom.” Alright that wasn’t really what he was expecting and suddenly he got nervous. She was far too weak to do it by herself and there were no woman in the camp of the Merry Men and this was rather a private moment which clearly troubled her having him with her.

So Robin tried to think about anything that would made the situation easier and less uncomfortable for both parties but there was no other way. There was no other who would help her anyway. So the archer sighted and muttered:” Then let’s go Your Majesty.” Robin was about to carefully help her up when he saw fear in her eyes which made him swallow hard. He had expected embarrassment maybe even an angry glare but not that so he suddenly felt the urge to assure her that he only had good intension he only was aiming to help her which was what he told her. His words seemed to calm her down a bit but she still was tense.

As Robin tried to help her on her feet she almost sunk with a annoyed groan against him. Robin realized that there was no way she would be able to walk outside. Knowing his next move probably would cost him his head if the Queen ever regained her strength he picked her up and carried her in bride style. Like predicted the Queen started to protest:” What the hell do you think you are doing thief? Put me down immediately or god help me I’m going to kill you and will enjoy every second of it.” Even though this could be seen as a real threat Robin only chuckled he knew her by now good enough to see through her defense mechanisms so he only replied:” Well milady unless you have the desire to wet your own bed you have deal with that. Beside that you should feel honored not many woman get the pleasure of being carried by a handsome charming men twice a day.” The only answer Robin got was a very angry glare from the Queen but she seemed to accept that this was the only way she could relief herself and keep at least some of her dignity.

They were in silence till they reached the place which the Merry Men used as bathroom and Robin tried to help her as respectful as he could not even peeking a bit. Still the Queen was so tense the entire time and at some point Robin could swear he saw her hand shaking for a moment. He knew that having the need to receive help regarding this matter was uncomfortable but Regina almost seemed like she had trouble keeping it together and Robin was confused and almost a bit offended. He never at no moment showed any sign that his intension towards her were anything but honorable but then he remembered the scars on her body and he became the unpleasant feeling that there were more dark secrets he didn’t know yet and he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to.

Regina was so tired and her limps felt boneless and heavy. There was nothing she liked more than just stay this way in Robin arms forever. As that thought crossed her mind she almost flinched back. Why did she feel so safe with him? It had been ages till she let someone hold her, hell like even touch like that without either trembling in fear or anger. She didn’t even like the damn thief right? No she said to herself he was annoying and insufferable.

She was in pain and thanks to those damn dreams emotionally confused. Before Regina could get lost in her own debate about the outlaw something completely different caught her attention. Her very full bladder, she really need to use the bathroom. But they weren’t in a castle they were in those gods forsaken woods and there was no way she would be able to go outside and do everything by herself she hadn’t even been capable of holding this damn cup of water by herself. Which meant she needed Robin’s help something she really despised but it wasn’t like she had much of a choice. Even though she knew by now that Robin was a good man she couldn’t get rid of the old fear which was creeping up inside her.

That fear was only replaced for a second with anger as Robin picked her up without problems and shot down all of her protest with a smirk, oh she hated that smirk. But the fear was back as soon as they were outside and he helped her getting undressed. Regina knew she was stupid Robin wouldn’t but she couldn’t stop herself from shaking not matter how many deep breaths she took to calm herself down. She was so relieved when she was finally done and he took her back to the tent. There he carefully put her on her bed and as soon as her head touched the pillow she was out again. Thankfully this time it was only darkness that pulled her back not memories. Regina almost sighted in relief in and then she truly was asleep.

Robin woke up at the voice from his son. The night had been long getting up every three hours for the antidote. The Queen fell asleep after every dose almost immediately which Robin was grateful for. Also her dreams seemed to be not as horrible as those before but Robin knew that Regina probably only got a short break but it was better than nothing. So Robin slowly cracked open his eyes as he felt Roland’s tiny hands slightly pulling at his arm:” Papa wake up it is morning! You promised I could make breakfast for Majesty! She must be soooo hungry,” the little boy declared his father. Robin smiled loving at his boy and mumbled still sleepy:” Alright my boy but you have to be silent. The Queen had a rough night and maybe isn’t up for breakfast yet.” Rolands eyes became big and Robin almost chuckled at the huge disbelief from his son that somebody maybe didn’t want a breakfast. But to his surprise his lad also seemed to be disappointed, very to be honest. It seemed his son was quite fond with the Queen (well like father like son). Before Robin could make up something to cheer his son up a soft voice, Regina voice sounded from the bed:” Good morning Roland dear. Don’t listen to your father it would be an honor for me to eat breakfast with you.” Roland like the day before practically beamed at her words and instantly turned away to his father and pulled himself up so he could sit next to Regina.

Robin had to smile at her words but he also tried to get up as fast as he could. He knew his son would never hurt Regina on purpose but he was so excited for his task and still a child. Robin on the contrary had heard Regina’s suppressed moan of pain as Roland jumped next to her so he kneeled next to his son and said:” Roland you remember I told you that the Queen is injured. This means you have to be very careful alright?” Those tears which had disappeared as soon as the Queen had spoken to the boy came back as he asked with all seriousness a little boy could manage:” Did I hurt you Majesty? If so I’m so sorry I soo sorry Majesty.” Robin was about to lift his son into his lap to comfort him but Regina was faster. She stroke gently about his son’s hair and said softly:” No dear you didn’t hurt me I’m fine. Do you want to show me what you made for breakfast? And Roland remember you may call me Regian.” As fast as it disappeared Roland’s grin came back and he nodded eagerly.

Robin threw a concerned glance at her which she only answered with a reassuring smile. As he watched his son and Regina eating breakfast together Robin felt content in a way he hadn’t in years. Of course being Roland’s father was the best thing that has ever happened to him and he loved every second of it but sometimes it was like something was missing. As his son showed what he had made Robin raised his brows in surprise. Roland had made a plate full of berries all different kind you would be able to find in the near woods arranged carefully. But it wasn’t the arrangement what surprised Robin it was the fact that raspberries where on it. Those were Roland’s favorites and he usually shared them with no one not even with him. But his son was more than willing to share those with the Queen whose eyes lit up as the told her about the specialty of those berries.

Robin watched happily how his son talked Regina an ear off. No one would’ve now guessed that Roland was a shy boy as he told the Queen about his adventures excitedly jumping up and down always careful not to hurt her which made Robin proud. His son had a good caring heart, a heart which seemed to be lost to Regina. To Robin’s relief his charming guest was able to keep some of the berries in. It was still to less food especially since his son was eating like he hadn’t have food in days but at least it was something.

Regina smiled at the moment as she heard Roland’s voice even though still between sleeping and awaking. She felt like hell every part of her body was aching her head was about to burst but as she saw the disappointed look of the little boy she couldn’t sent him away even if she wasn’t sure if she could keep the food in this time. Regina couldn`t stop herself from grinning to the boy but then her grin turned into a grimace as the little lad jumped next to her. Sharp pain flooded through her body but Regina inhaled deeply taking all the strength she had to no scare Roland and to her surprise she succeeded.

Stroking his head gently she calmed him down smiling as he showed her the berries the gathered for her. As Robin told her about the raspberries Regina almost cried again she was so touched and confused. Why was this child so taken by her? Not that she had time paying much attention to that thought Roland talked like there would be no tomorrow and Regina found herself listening to every word the little boy said. Every story, every adventure, every giggle Regina took in like it was some kind of medicine. She couldn’t stop smiling even though her stomach already revolted after a few berries still it was probably the best breakfast she had in a very long time. During one of Roland’s story’s ( about how he and his Papa fought some monster in the woods) Regina throw a glance toward the archer and her heart stopped for a second. The way he looked at her and his son was well breathtaking. Because he looked, and she really had no idea why somewhat happy.

He had looked happy. A thought which stayed with Regina all day. After Roland had left (not without giving her a hug, a very wet kiss and a bye Gina) her day was rather uneventful. She lied in her bed drifted in and out of consciousness only waked up by Robin pouring the antidote on her wound. The thief had tried to have her eaten some bread at lunch but she only got down some bites but at least a full cup of water. She was just happy that the bread stayed where it belonged. Another throwing up session really would’ve been unpleasant.

The pain was still there lingering everywhere. Her head pounded, her stomach cramped and her limps burnt. Still she was alive and that itself was a miracle. Alive and she had somebody taking care of her. Even though she wasn’t sure for how long. Robin had left the tent at the afternoon for some time and Regina was sure he had an argument because of her. A very heated one she might want to add. Not that she was surprised. She was the Evil Queen and those men out there all likely hated her guts. He had been gone for almost an hour and as Regina already tried to make a plan what she would do if the code of honor wouldn’t apply for a woman who slaughtered entire villages she needed a plan B. But as Robin came back with dinner he seemed angry but all he did towards her was smiling at her reassuring her everything was alright as she asked if there was a problem. Despite the almost close moments they shared last night there was a distance between them something Regina was glad for. She could deal with a grumpy inpatient snarky thief far better than that one she sobbed her heart out. Still the other men probably really gave him a hard time and Regina once again asked herself why the hell this man fought so persistent for her.

Robin was angry no he was furious. He always thought he had his men undying support but as Little John came this afternoon to ask if they could have a few words he said of course. His friend had said with a concerned frown:” Robin you are my best friend but seriously what are you thinking having _her_ here. Letting Roland be near her. She could kill all of us as soon she is strong enough. She is a monster and not to be trusted. Please Robin come back to your good senses.” Robin looked at his friend in pure disbelief as he said:” We swore to protect those in need and you want me to let a woman die? This won’t be happening. I promised her I would take care of her. This was my decision a leader and everyone who can’t live with that please you are free to leave this camp at any time.” These were Robin’s only words in the discussion which took almost an hour. At the end he made his opinion clear once again and left with dinner for Regina. As he came into the tent she instantly knew that something was off. He only reassured her that he would fight for like he promised and even though she shut down once again after his words he could see just for a short moment a little smile. But this was all he needed and he had really not a clue why it was enough.

The evening went on and to Robin’s displeasure Regina almost eat nothing again. He was worried, the Queen already had been thin when he met her but she would keep losing weight if she wouldn’t start eating more. Robin sighted as he sat next to her and asked:” How are you feeling now Your Majesty?” She only gave him a short glance and muttered:” I’m fine outlaw even though your cooking ability’s aren’t what someone would call delicious or at least eatable.” Robin put the bowl of soup he was still holding away and shot back perking his eyebrows up:” Well Your Majesty I’m certain they are better than yours since I cannot believe you ever even peeled a potato by yourself.” Regina sat upright as fast as her body was letting her and hissed back at him:” Careful thief I once told you, you have no idea what I’m capable of, this includes cooking.” Robin replied only with a low chuckle:” Oh really Your Majesty? Can’t wait to see that eventually.”” Like I would give a simple thief the honor of eating anything I make,” she answered still as smug as the day he met her. “Scared I’ll beat you milady?” Robin replied challenging.” Scared? Me? Never outlaw and its Your Majesty. I’m not going to tell you this even if it seems to take quite some time to get into your numbskull.” Bold as always Robin thought at the Queens answer.

He really was in the mood to keep playing their little game but it struck him that she really looked tired if not completely exhausted so he only grinned at her winked and said:” It’s time for your beauty sleep Your Majesty we can continue this very entertaining argument tomorrow.” He only got another glare at her part but before she could come up with a probably not too charming reply her eyes closed and then she was asleep. Robin gently pulled the blanket over her and lied next to her to catch some sleep himself for the next three hours.

Regina had to admit that horrible thief was quick-witted and she did enjoy someone who wasn’t afraid to counter her even if he got annoying some time no most of the time. But the little back and forth between them distracted her a bit from her pain and the night which was lying ahead of her and for that she was grateful. She was fighting against sleep the entire evening afraid of what the night might bring to her, which demons of her past would haunt her now. Some were hard to deal with but some well there were just impossible to endure and there was one specific demon who hadn’t visited her yet and Regina had the dreadful feeling he will be here tonight. It turned out she had been right.

_Today had been Regina’s wedding day. For many the most wonderful day in their life but not for the barely eighteen year old newly Queen who was now sitting in her beautiful white gown waiting for her husband. Regina never had been so scared from what was about to come. Sure the day itself had been horrible. After losing Daniel and banishing her mother (it had been the right thing to do but damn why did she still have to miss her mother so much?) she had walked down the aisle trembling ,her legs feeling like jelly. Walking towards the man who from now one would be the person she would share her life with. She said yes to him like it was expected from her. She smiled and danced like it was excepted from her. She did well, mother would be proud._

_She endured everything but now sitting on the Kings bed waiting for the last part of her day, her from now on duty as a wife Regina’s hands were shaking and tears threatened to fall. She jumped as the old wooden door was opened with a loud bang and her husband walked in. His steps were uncertain too much wine to celebrate his young beautiful Queen. He slowly came towards her and Regina took a deep breath. This was her duty and she could do it, she was strong and it was just sex right? The King was known to be a gentle man he wouldn’t hurt her she was sure about it. Well it turned out she was wrong._

_Leopold closed the distance between them, whispered “my beautiful Queen” and crashed his lips so fast against Regina’s that she didn’t have time to prepare herself. He tasted like alcohol and something bitter. Regina almost throw up but she let him push his tongue into her mouth, let his hands grasp behind her to open her gown. He slowly turned them around closer to the bed and started to grope her breast through the fabric of her dress. Regina couldn’t breath it was too much she didn’t want this, she couldn’t do this so she yelled:” My king I’m sorry but I can’t do this.” Instead of stopping like she hoped he ripped her dress down and threw her on the bed._

_Before she could react to this he was on top of her. She struggled against him but he slapped her across the face. Regina was too surprised to say something only felt the burning pain on her cheek as he spit at her:” You are mine now and if you ever say no to your King again you’ll pay young lady.” As he had spoken those words he ripped away the last remaining clothes Regina had on her and as she fought against it he griped her arms with one hand and held them above her head._

_Leopold started to pinch her nipples roughly and crushed his lips once again on her mouth. Regina tried with all her strength to get him off her but she didn’t stand a chance. As he bit down hart on her breast she was screaming in pain. The screams only went louder as he pushed first one then a second finger inside her. It hurt so much and the tears were now freely falling down. She hoped somebody would hear her screams and come to her aid. Leopold moaned and groaned above her and Regina started to beg:” Please my King stop please you’re hurting me.” But her pleads only seemed to turn him on even more._

_Suddenly he withdrew his fingers and Regina almost sighted in relief only as he forcibly spread her legs. Since he had let go of her wrists for that Regina used that moment to try pushing him off her again but wasn’t more successful than the last time. Leopold only hit her hard, griped her wrists again and pushed himself inside her. It was a horrible pain, Regina had the feeling she was ripped apart as her dear husband forcefully stroke in and out of her having his entire weight on her._

_Regina struggled once again in his hold but as she heard a crack in her wrist followed by a crushing pain she just let it happen. She let her husband taking her virginity always thinking that Daniel her sweet Daniel would’ve never done this, would’ve never hurt her. As the king came with one extremely hard push Regina screamed in pain knowing this time no one would come to her rescue. So she only let a silent tear fall down as King Leopold emptied himself inside her._

The real Regina woke up shortly before it was time for the next antidote with a scream on her lips. Robin woke up starring at her and then running towards her trying to comfort her but as soon as he had touched her the Queen lost it completely and the screams and the pleading became louder and more desperate. Robin had no idea what he should do. What in bloody hell was the Queen seeing that it frightened her so much and what should he do to get her out of this nightmare?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone thanks soooo much for sticking with me and our Queen and thief. This will be the aftermath to Leopold but only slight mentions of him nothing graphic. We also will see some of the darkness Regina has and to make up for it some cuteee DimpleQueen. Hope you enjoying it and please tell me what you think. As usual I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made.

Robin stood next to the Queen trying to figure out what is next move should be. Whatever Regina was seeing frightened her maybe even more than everything before and Robin felt the strong need to comfort her but how? He didn’t dare to touch her again since that seemed to upset her even further. Her screams stopped abrupt only replaced by pleading whimpers. “Stop my King please you’re hurting me please stop.” So Robin debated for a moment than decided to kneel next to her whispering soft words into her ear soothing her in every way he could. To his surprise it seemed to work.

Regina’s breathing got more even and her body started to relax. She finally calmed down. Robin hesitated for a moment then carefully put his hand on her shoulder gently shaking her and mumbling:” Regina wake up everything is alright, you are safe milady.” Slowly her eyes popped open and dark eyes looked up at him. Eyes so full of pain and sorrow Robin heart clenched painfully. Once again.

“Everything is alright milady,” Robin repeated to the still trembling Queen smiling softly at her. Robin grabbed the wet cloth which was lying next to him and carefully put it on Regina’s sweaty forehead. She was still burning up. He was worried at the way she looked at him. Not the pain he sadly had been gotten used to it in the last two days but it was like she was looking straight through him. As soon the cloth touched her she flinched back not quite awoken of what seemed had been a horrifying dream and trying to get as much distance between them as possible. Which was since she barely could move and the bed she was lying on was rather small not very far.

As Regina had felt herself being touched she had struggled against those hands as hard as she could. She had fought till the strength had left her but then they were suddenly gone. Regina felt dizzy and hot while she was still shivering. Why was it so hot in here could someone please open a window, she thought. She still could feel Leopold hands on her, wandering, touching, hurting her. There was something cold and wet on her what was it? She was once again caught in a haze of pain, emotional and physical one. And she was alone so alone. As panic creeped up in her she suddenly heard the voice again. The soothing, caring voice. Robin’s voice she realized. He must been the one talking to her but why was here with her and Leopold? He had to leave if Leopold would find out that another man was with her no matter who he was to her he would be very angry and him angry meant bad things would happened.

And Robin would be in danger. So she begged him to stop. And he had for the first time he had stopped touching her but why? That was when Regina finally broke through the haze and realized that Robin was the one touching her not Leopold. Leopold wasn’t here she killed him. She killed him years ago. The cold she had felt was only a wet cloth and as her eyes opened again she could see him. Robin not Leopold was next to her. Smiling at her softly. He had put some distance between her and himself, to give her space she realized with frown. He had known what she had needed like he strangely always seemed to know. Regina was still trembling but she slowly was trying to calm herself down. To be the Queen again.

Robin had realized that she needed some space till she composed herself again so he stepped a couple of steps back watching how the Queen was trying to regain breathe, to center herself. She blinked a couple of times and then looked at him again but this time her eyes were clearer still feverish but she seemed to be aware of her surroundings this time. So he gently came closer and said with a kind smile:” There you are milady.” As he was again in front of her trying to find her eyes she looked down.

But before she did he caught a glimpse at her face seeing shame there. She was ashamed for her reaction. Once again. He couldn’t have it not after what he had just heard, not after her pleading. Especially since she still hadn’t said one word. So he tipped her chin up and said as sincere as he could to her: “Regina it’s alright. You had a bad dream and you were afraid that’s no reason to be embarrassed. ”I’m not afraid I’m never afraid and I forbid such ridiculous presumptions thief, “she hissed back her eyes suddenly cold and hard.

The closer he had come to her the farer she withdrew herself now from him. “Regina I understand and it’s alright that…” Before Robin could finish she interrupted him her entire body tense again and she made herself as tall as it was possible in her current situation. Then she spit at him her voice barely more than a dangerous growl:” You understand nothing outlaw, you have no idea who I am. I don’t need your pity and if you ever look at me like this again I’m going to kill you, I’ll rip your heart out and crush it to dust in front of your little boy do you hear me? I’m not weak, I’m the Evil Queen. ” Then out of the blue Regina’s hand waved towards him and Robin felt how all the air was pushed out of his lungs. Something was closing around his throat, her magic he was realizing, she was choking him. Robin was so taken aback by her action and her words that for the first time he was lost at words. Well the fact that he was running out of oxygen certainly didn’t help.

What the bloody hell just happened? How could somebody turn from that ashamed frightened woman to somebody who definitively deserved the name Evil Queen. The coldness in her eyes let cold shivers go down Robin spine. For the first time he really realized that those stories about the Evil Queen weren’t just stories this woman was dangerous. But where was the kind and caring Regina he met at breakfast, where was the witty and smart woman he had had some snarky discussion earlier? Were his men right after all was she monster everyone said her to be? Robin saw dark spots before his eyes and so he shouted:” Regina stop it now. Please” To his surprise she did.” That should be a lesson thief,” the Queen hissed at him before she lost consciousness again.

As the oxygen came back to his lungs Robin gasped for air. Robin didn’t know if he was angry or disappointed or well he had no bloody idea how he was feeling. He only knew he was about to say screw his code of honor and threw her out. She almost killed him for being caring. He was about to yell or scream at her as he saw the look in her dark eyes before she had lost consciousness again.

That little magic trick had to exhausted her quite severely since she was out cold again. It wasn’t that coldness he had seen seconds ago it was so much more. It was a wild swirl of emotions. Remorse mixed with pain. Self-loathing and fear and Robin realized yes she had almost killed him for being caring. Because he had seen her as an emotional mess time after time, seen her helpless and _weak_ (what the hell was it with her seemingly utterly fear of showing weakness?) and he had cared for her, he had pushed through her walls and that scared the hell out of her.

Not being afraid of anything that was bullshit. He just had seen plainly the fear in her eyes, the fear to let him in, to rely on somebody else, to let somebody she _her_ and not the Queen. That whole little act Robin realized as he was pacing back and forth in the tent was just to push him away. Well milady that won’t happen any time soon, Robin thought with a smirk. He had dealt with worse people that a bad tempered, snarky Queen with homicidal tendencies. She was a challenge but what should Robin say? Easy was boring.

It was almost time for her antidote the last one to be exactly. Tuck had told him before everyone went to bed that there were nothing more they could do, it was now on the Queen to survive, the antidote had done its work.

Robin although decided to wait a little longer. For once her magic stunt seemed to have her cost quite some energy and despite understanding her reasons he was still furious with her. She had used magic against him, to hurt him and her threats were still lingering in his mind. But there was one thing Robin knew for sure. Despite what she said she would never hurt Roland (if he wouldn’t be sure of that he had never let her stay at his camp) no matter what. So he only sighed and after some time had passed he poured the fluid on he wound, for the last time and prepared himself for the pain of the Queen. Once again.

Regina woke up as the stabbing pain was racing through her. As she tried to breath through the waves of pain she couldn’t stop herself from searching for Robin and to her big surprise he was standing right next to her, as always. The man she just almost killed for being kind to her was still standing by her side in the middle of the night, smiling softly wiping the sweat from her forehead.

Why was he still her? Why hadn’t he thrown her out or let his men kill her? Was it his precious code of honor again? Yes that had to be the reason there was no other logical explanation. No one ever had done so much for without asking something in return. Receiving help usually came with a steak price for Regina, it always had. But this man this terrible annoying outlaw was still there after she treated him so poorly.

What was his end game? Regina didn’t know what to do what to say. She expected a furious man, one ready to let her die instead he was caring. Once again.

Regina searched for something to say to him as he sat at the edge of her bed and laid his hand above hers. He started to talk, his voice calm but firmly:” I know why you did what you did milady and also being at risk getting choked to death I understand and I forgive you. But if you ever do this again to me or my men I will chain you to this bed and threw you out as soon as your health allows it am I clear Your Majesty? ” Regina was blown away was he really offering her a second chance after nearly killing him?

She was about to tell him she did not want his second chance and that he didn’t understand a thing, he should let her go but then she saw something in his eyes. There was no anger, no pity, no judgment just understanding. He wasn’t intimidated by her magic and he certainly wasn’t scared of her. And even if she would try it again he still would nurse her back to health.

He seemed to see how surprised she was and he said with a small simile:” I promised you I would help you milady even when you pull this stupid strength stealing magic tricks I will help you to get through it, you won’t get rid of me so easily. Especially since Roland is quite fond of his Gina.” Regina still couldn’t believe a word he was saying but the way those blue eyes looked at her so sincere she just knew he was telling the truth.

Then something clicked inside her. It wasn’t trust or friendship but it was respect. Respect for the man who seemingly wouldn’t stop fighting for her so easily and maybe she should let him. Only till she was well again of course, not a minute longer. But he proofed he wasn’t going to let her down and she was so tired of being alone. Tired of fighting this damn poison by herself and keeping the pain in. Having someone to talk maybe just a bit would be nice for a change so Regina did something she hadn’t done in a very long time, she apologized:” I’m sorry Robin I shouldn’t have done this.” It took everything to get those words out and if he had hoped of a more sincere apologize well than he could wait long. But it seemed it was enough for him.

He softly put his hand above hers and for a moment Regina wanted to withdraw her hand but as she saw the way his eyes lit up at her apologize she just couldn’t. Because it made her heart beating faster and she had to bit on her lip to stop herself from smiling at the thief. “Was that so hard Your Majesty?” Robin asked her now with a snarky grin.

Regina only replied with a “Don’t push it thief.” For a moment both of them just looked at each other and once again it was like somebody had charged the air. It was like a spell between them ( which was of course not the case not that she was capable of magic, that bit she had used before still had her aching, Regina thought bitterly) as Robin broke the silence between them:” Your Majesty you had a couple of rough hours I guess it’s better you get some sleep. I gave you the entire antidote necessary.”

Regina only nodded and let him helping her in a comfortable sleeping position. As she laid in her bed a leaden tiredness overcame her so she closed her eyes as the thief whispered again “Good night Your Majesty sleep well.” Regina opened her eyes again, looked up at him and muttered:” Regina. You may call me Regina.” Then sleep overtook her so fast that she only saw a glimpse of Robin’s smile which had turned from small to a bright one at her words. Why, she really had no idea at all.

As Robin had heard her apology at first he thought he had misheard. Did the Queen actually say she was sorry even sounding sincere? Well miracles seemingly do happen. Robin didn’t know what he had done to gain her respect but he would be lying if he would say it didn’t make him happy. He would lie even more if he would say that his heart didn’t stop beating for a second as she asked him to call her Regina.

Even though one part of him still was mad at her the bigger part of him (probably the one which was linked to his heart instead of his brain) couldn’t stop beingdelighted about her reaction. Robin shook his head as he threw one last glance at the sleeping Queen before he prepared himself to go to sleep.

This woman really was something. She was annoying, stubborn and more complicated than any other person Robin has ever met. She was a mystery to him but one he was thinking as he closed his eyes he really liked to figure out. Why? Well the archer had no clue he just knew that nobody had made him feel so much so fast in a very long time. Something was it about the Queen no Regina he thought with a grin that made his pulse go faster. That intriguing arrogant and sassy woman was about to take residence in his heart and Robin didn’t know what he should do to stop it. And if he even wanted to and this was by far the more pressing question.

For the first time Regina slept through the entire night and despite having her mother and Daniel in her dreams keeping her more or less pleasant company she felt somewhat rested when she woke up. Or better said as once again a little boy with dark curls and dimples stood next to her shaking her gently. So Regina finally opened her eyes only to see Roland’s face only inches away from her own.

“Morning Gina!!! I made you breakfast again just for you,” the little boy told her with a big grin. As Regina smiled back at him and said her voice soft:” Hello dear, that was very nice from you.” Regina tried to sit up but a burning pain went through her and she bit her lip not to moan in pain. Robin who she hasn’t seen yet stood immediately next to throwing a questioningly glance hat her.

She only nodded and so helped her up trying to touch her as less as he could but still smiling kindly at her. As she sat somewhat comfortable Roland asked her holding some bread with cheese (he had made a face out of the cheese and had put it on the bread which touched Regina once again so much that tears came to her eyes) and climbed on the bed so carefully not to hurt her grinning proudly at her.

“Look Gina what I made for you!! The cheese is smiling at you,” the little boy told her looking hopefully at her.” I can see that Roland it looks amazing and very delicious. You did a very good job,” as soon as Regina had said those words the child almost busted with pride. Like the day before Roland talked to Regina without even drawing breath and once again Regina asked herself why the little boy liked her so much.

She listened eagerly to the lad, nodded and asked him questions which he answered with such enthusiasm that despite being in pain and a stomach who still thought food was an enemy Regina managed to eat most of the cheese and some bread. As she threw a short glance at Robin she saw him smiling fondly at his son and to her surprise as his eyes met hers his smile only grew brighter. She really didn’t understand this man at all.

“Gina my birthday is soon just I just have to go to bed twice anymore,” Roland told her pulling her out of her thoughts. “Really my dear how old will you be?” Regina asked him petting him caring. “So old Gina,” Roland replied holding for fingers in the air. “Wow four years that means you are already a big boy,” Regina said still stroking him gently. “Papa says that too,” Roland said proudly while looking at his father.

Before any of the adults could say something Roland looked up with the most adorable puppy eyes Regina had ever seen and asked her:” Will you come to my birthday party? Pleaseeee?” Regina was so taken aback (and so damn touched she had to fight to keep the tears at bay) that she couldn’t respond immediately. She only was looking desperately at Robin who got the message and was helping her out taking the boy’s hand:” Roland, Regina is still very sick. A birthday party might be a little bit much for her, alright?” But Roland wouldn’t give up so easily and started begging and as his father shook his head tears were gathering in the boys eyes which broke Regina’s heart.

Sure she was in a lot of pain, sure the Merry Men out there hated her, sure Robin who’s simply being here made her nervous would be there too but she couldn’t disappoint that child not since he was looking at her so hopefully. So Regina forced a smile and told the little boy:” Don’t cry Roland if I’m well enough it would be an honor to attended your birthday party.” As soon as Roland heard her words all tears disappeared as fast as they appeared and he beamed as he was turning towards his father and shouted happily:” Papa did you hear it? Gina comes to my birthday party!! A Queen Papa is coming to my party the best and prettiest Queen in the whole wide world comes to my party! ““Yes my boy I heard it that is really and honor,” Robin answered his son picking him up and then throwing a concerned glance at the Queen asking: “And you are sure Regina that you are up to it? Please don’t feel obligated.”

Regina smile dropped from her face. Even though the boy seemed to love having her archer seemed very uncomfortable having her attending. And that hurt, far more than she liked to admit. But she shouldn’t have been surprised. She was the Evil Queen after all. “Yes I am unless of course you rather don’t have me there,” Regina said those words as emotionless as she could not showing how (and it was stupid she had no reason to) hurt she was at his rejection.

Robin couldn’t deny that the interaction between his son and Regina warmed his heart. His son was so smitten with the Queens charms he never seen Roland being like this around someone he only knew for a very short period of time. Still he was a bit off-guard as his boy asked Regina to join his birthday party, Robin knew how much this day meant to Roland. It seemingly was as much a surprise to Regina that it was to him but she still (another miracle)agreed to come. Robin’s son was master in persuasion so he wanted to give her a way out which she of course understood wrong again. As soon as he had said those words which he had though was helping her he realized that that she took them in as a form of rejection.

Which couldn’t be further from the truth but Robin saw the hurt in her eyes, the self-loathing so he hurried to clarify his intensions:” Of course not Regina like I said it would be an honor to have you, the best and prettiest Queen in the whole wide world attending our little celebration,” Robin told her with an impish grin. He could see that he hadn’t convinced her entirely so he told his son to go and play. As soon Roland left(not without giving Regina a little kiss on the cheek) he took the place his boy had sat before and looked her straight into her eyes not breaking contact for a second and said as sincere as he could:” Regina I’m serious we would love if you join us. I think you know me by now well enough that I would tell you if your royal ass isn’t wished-for.” He winked at her and to underline his words he squeezed her hand gently.

“What about your men I highly doubt they want to celebrate in the company of an Evil Queen?” Regina asked him still having so much self-loathing in her eyes. “My men do as I say. It’s Roland’s birthday and as I see it there is nothing which would disappoint him more than your absences. And there is nothing my men hate more than disappoint Roland. So milady will we have the pleasure of your company at the celebration?” Robin asked her acting like he didn’t notice the tears which gathered for a few seconds in her eyes.

Regina only nodded, Robin gave her hand another squeeze and told her he had to some business to attend to he would come back soon to check on her. But before Robin had left the tent she spoke up and the question she asked made him being the one this time who had to fight back the tears:” What happened to Roland’s mother?”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thank you some much for staying with me. You are amazing!!!!. So this chapter will be about Regina and Robin’s past and their slowly realization that they might do like each other( at least a bit)So I hope you’ll enjoy it and please tell me what you think. As always I don’t own anything and I am responsible for all mistakes made.
> 
> Oh and I’ll be in London (!!) next week and I’ll try to write the next chapter before I fly but I not sure I’m gonna make it. Nevertheless take care and I love you all

Regina saw how the thief tensed at her question which made her regret it that she asked it in the first place. Still she was wondering about the boy‘s mother since the moment Roland smiled at her seemingly enjoying her company so much. She had waited for his mother to arrive but since neither Robin nor Roland had mentioned her once Regina could only assume that she either had left or was dead.   
But despite knowing that this was likely not a too pleasant topic for the archer( not that many conversation between them had been about nice rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers, Regina thought uneasy trying not to remember how much darkness and pain the thief had already seen of her) Regina was too curious not to ask. So she waited watching how Robin was breathing in and out. As she thought she wouldn’t receive an answer at all he finally said, his voice low:” That is a long story milady one longer than I have time now.”   
He seemed to debate about something a moment then turned around to face her and said a small but sad smile on his lips:” But I’m making you a deal. When I come back I tell you about Roland’s mother if you tell me about Daniel, deal?” Now it was Regina who was debating with herself. On one hand she really wanted to know the story on the other despite her little outburst she hadn’t spoken about Daniel in ages and wasn’t sure she even could. If she could keep it together and it was out of the question to show weakness again. She agreed to maybe let Robin in a bit but that was something completely different.   
Daniel was a subject that could make her lose control so easily. Speaking about him usually tented to let the old Regina come back to the surface. Her younger self, the one who still had hope and had believed that true love was the most powerful magic of all. Unbreakable, strong and for eternity. That version of her had to learn it the hard way that life rarely was kind and that people in general were only nice if they wanted something.   
That part of her might have been good and loving and somewhat happy but being like that also lead her to so much pain. Her younger self had been too weak to protect herself and already being in a vulnerable positon Regina was scared that the archer would use this vulnerability against her. Regina was silent for quite some time and then said without looking at Robin:” What if I make you tell me your story?” Regina imaged him to be angry at her for once again threating him but he only answered:” I don’t think that is was you really want Regina. And even if I saw what happened the last time you used your magic. You are not strong enough to make me and I have the feeling deep down you want to talk about him”. Regina lifted her head in surprise and replied, her voice almost sounding mockingly:” And what makes you sure about that thief?”” Well I would be a toad by now if you didn’t and even if we say that your magic might not be ready to turn me into an animal of your choice you would’ve said I should get the hell out of here and don’t dare to ask you that again what you would’ve said a day ago but you only stayed silent. So yes Regina I think you wanna talk about the only person who like you said always believed in you. Because no matter how much it hurts to talk about beloved people we lost it also eases the pain a bit. So milady do we have a deal?”   
Regina looked at him for a moment speechless. His words hit her heart in way she never thought any would ever. Not only had he stood up to her again he understood so much again. Even tough everything that was just said made Regina even more nervous her curiosity won and she watched herself nod to the thief. “Good since that’s settled I’ll see you soon. Rest a bit till I’m back,” with this words Robin left the tent leaving a completely confused Regina behind.  
Robin did talk about Marian sometimes but too often even saying her name hurt. Losing the love of his life had been one thing but knowing that he was responsible for it hurt like a bitch. Therefore he had been uncertain what he should do as the Queen had asked him the question. But Robin knew this was one time opportunity to make her talk and if the only way to do it was bringing his dead wife into the game than so be it.   
Marian wouldn’t have mind it Robin was sure of it. His beautiful wonderful wife always wanted to help everyone. So before he could go back to Regina and their slightly complicated conservation ahead he had to talk with Tuck about her condition. Now that he used all the antidote necessary he wanted to be sure he was still doing everything he was supposed to do. Even if he wasn’t ready to admit it completely the Queen dying had been a thought he refused himself to think about.   
Sure he could tell himself that he simply was a good man (more or less his past had not been without dark deeds too) and he had spent over two days around her, taking care, holding her and arguing with her. But Robin knew better. Regina started to mean something to him and as he looked thoughtfully around watching his men working and the sun reflecting in a puddle of water he came to a realization. He cared for her, really cared for her, in an intensity that scared him for a moment. It had been a long time since he had felt something like that. Sure the Queen was a beauty. Her long dark silky hair was something he had his troubled to tear his eyes away. Her red full lips who occupied more of his dreams then he liked too(No that was a lie he loved dreaming about her lips and hot kisses not to mention her breast her perfect full breasts) But it wasn’t just the fact that she was a stunning woman with a very tempting body.  
It was more, so much more that Robin sometimes had to take a step back from what she was making him feel. He wanted to get to know her discovering ever inch of her body as well as her soul. As he heard Tuck calling him he pushed away every thought about the Queen, her breathtaking appearance and her troubled but so fascinating mind. Those were dangerous thoughts. Despite the fact that the never would come true and Robin wasn’t sure if that also would be for the best. Even if his irrational heart clenched painfully at the thought.  
A thief and a Queen didn’t have a future together. He would help her getting better and that would be where their ways would part company. “Robin did you hear a word of what I was just saying?” Robin looked up full of surprise as Tuck was standing in front him brows raised waiting for an answer:” I’m sorry Tuck I was in thoughts what did you say?” Robin asked his friend slightly embarrassed that he had been gone so far. “I just said if it would be alright I like to take a look at the Queen unless you have come to your good sensed and threw her out?” Tuck replied looking concerned.  
Robin was slightly angry at his friend answer. Sure Regina was despite everything the Evil Queen but at the moment she was an hurt helplessness woman who needed their aid and that was what the Merry Men were for after all which was what Robin told his friend. Tuck shook his head and sighted:” Alright Robin if you are sure you are doing the right thing I’ll help.” “Thank you Tuck be in front of her tent in about an hour.” With those words Robin turned around to take care of certain things he had neglected since he had found this complicated but intriguing woman.  
Regina had fallen asleep and had woken up as she heard two different voices. On clearly was Robin’s but the second one she wasn’t sure.” Hi milady how have you been?” Robin asked her smiling kindly as always. Regina only nodded and mumbled ‘”I’m fine” despite this not being really the truth. Yes she felt better but it still hurt like hell. Everything hurt not to mention that she was nervous about the conversation they were about to have. Well and the fact that there was another man in the tent which made Regina fell uncomfortable in an instant.   
She tensed and sat up as fast as her body allowed her to and looked challenging at the other man. “I’m not sure if you remember Regina but this is Tuck. He was the one who helped me taking care of your wound. If it’s alright he asked if he could take a look at you to figure out what the next steps are,” Robin said to her and apparently noticing her discomfort he added:” He is a good man Regina and I trust him. Will you let him help you please?” Regina debated for a moment but she knew that she had no point arguing. She needed help and Robin seemed to convince that man to help her. So she only nodded but didn’t say one word as the older man carefully touch her wound, didn’t look at him as he changed the bandaged they used to patch up her wound.   
Robin had been close to her, close but not touching her talking about unimportant things. To take her mind of from what was happening Regina realized with a frown. He knew she didn’t like to be touched or to appear weak so he made sure she was focused on his voice. And it worked she could stay calm. As Tuck finally was done she looked up again as the older man spoke: “Your wound is healing nicely Your Majesty but your fever is still high. Still if you survive the night I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t make it. Although it will take some time till you have your strength back and therefore I strongly recommend no magic for at least a week.” Regina only nodded at his words and as she watched him leaving the tent she wasn’t sure how she was feeling.   
Yes she likely would survive now and again one of her enemies hadn’t succeeded in taking her out which made her proud for a moment. At the same time she could feel a hint of disappointment. If she would’ve died everything would have been over. All her pain, her loneliness and all the memory which were trying to suffocating her every damn day. She might would’ve been free for the first time in a very long time. Being in those dark thoughts Regina refused to believe that there had been another reason why a little part of her was glad to be alive. Robin and Roland. The handsome man with his blue eyes she had the feeling she could drown in them and his so awful good looking body. Many of her dreams had her shivering in fear or disgust, but not all of them.  
Some had her shivering out of completely different reasons. Reasons with tan skin and strong arms. With a mischievously grin and those dimples god she loved those dimpled. Dreams of wandering hands , hot kisses and blissful orgasms. Not that she would ever admit having such dreams about him.   
And Roland sweet little Roland who warmed her dark and small heart by just grinning at her, who had given her the need to protect the little boy and hug him close to her. Regina tried to put those thoughts away. They will never happen, good people like the Locksley boys tended to stay as far away from people like her(even thought a little voice in her head said that this time they didn’t. Both of them were still her so maybe…no Regina shut the thought down it would never happen, nothing good would come out of dreaming of things she would never have)  
Robin couldn’t say how relieved he had been at Tuck’s words, Regina would live. He thought for a second it shouldn’t mean so much to him but before he could get lost again in his thoughts about his emotional mess regarding the Queen he saw the way she had looked at his friends words that she would likely make it.  
There had been relief but also something different something that almost looked like disappointment. But why would she be disappointed at that news unless:” Did you wish to die Regina?” Robin asked her terrified of her answer. For a moment there was silence and as she answered he didn’t like it:” I think you still own me the story about what has happened to Roland’s mother don’t you think?” Robin was about to ask her his question again but he could see it on her face she wouldn’t answer. Well one step at the time right? So he only sighted, sat next to her and started:” Her name was Marian. She was a wonderful woman. Generous and kind always trying to help everyone. A far better person than I was and a far better person then I deserved.”   
Regina was again silent for a minute and then asked:” How did you meet?” Robin had to chuckle by the thought how their ways had crossed. So Robin told Regina about the day he had stolen her family’s horse, how Marian told him that this animal was all her family had. How she made him realize that he wasn’t doing the right thing. Robin told Regina who was lying there still silent how he made up for the things he stole from her family.” Before I met Marian I was a thief a simple idiot who stole only for his own benefit not caring the damage he did. Marian made me understand how important honor was and that only a man who stole from those who had enough to give to those who didn’t was an honorable one. I realized that stealing just for my own was a selfish act and thinking about all the terrible things I did to get what I want. Before her I justified everything I did that I needed it to survive or that people who let themselves be robbed deserve it not better and everything bad I did well the end justifies the means right? She made me realize that I was wrong and showed me what was really important in life.”   
“Which is what thief?” Regina asked him sounding more curious than annoyed. “Helping those in need milady. Giving at least as much as you are taking. Living by a code of honor which I have been doing ever since I met her. I haven’t been a very good person before I met her and did many things I’m not proud of “Robin answered watching her thoughtfully. She seemed surprised at his statement.” How did she die?” Regina asked suddenly and Robin was a bit taken aback by the sudden change of topic.   
“She was murdered during a job of mine. We were breaking into a house of a wealthy but unimportant lord and we separated at the beginning. I didn’t want her to join us but I need one more person I could trust for the coup and I needed someone like her to be the look out. We got caught not for the first time but this time we, no I wasn’t fast enough. Marian was caught and as she tried to run away they cut her throat. My men dragged my away while I was kicking and fighting to get to her not realizing that it was too late. No matter how hard I tried to save her, to somehow get to her she was gone.”   
Robin now had to fight to keep it together as he suddenly felt Regina’s hand on his robbing comforting circles with her fingers. He was stunned by her action but even if he didn’t really understand why but he could draw strength out of it. Somehow she could hold him up, comfort him with such a simple gesture in a way no one had ever could. The loss of his beautiful wife almost had destroyed him and that was what he told her:” Roland was the only thing that kept me alive after her death. He only was a couple of weeks old but he was everything.” Regina only nodded and then asked her voice tight:” What happened to the men who killed Marian?” Robin hesitated for a moment but then decided that she deserved might even needed to know the truth so he simply said:” I killed him.”   
As Regina looked up at him in complete surprise he had so smile despite the painful memory:” I told you Regina I wasn’t always an honorable man and this person killed the love of my life. I broke free of my men grip and cut his throat too. I’m not proud of it just simply because Marian wouldn’t have approved of it but I can’t say I regret it either.” Robin said to her and then knowing he was taking a risk:” Marian always believed in the good in me. Like Daniel believed in you.” Regina’s snapped around having the cold look in her eyes again but then sighted and said to him:” I guess now it’s time for my story right?” Robin only nodded and waited till she was sitting more comfortable but her hand still hadn’t left his. He wasn’t sure if she had realized that preparing herself for the conservation. So he asked (now or never right?):” How did you and Daniel meet?”  
Regina had still been rattled by Robin’s story about Marian. She felt sympathy for the man who had lost his wife of such a horrible way but even more she thought about a little boy with dimples who was growing up without a mother. She also was surprised at his disclosure that he indeed had killed his wife’s murderer. Regina had thought he would’ve taken the honorable way and spared his life. She wouldn’t have but Robin?  
And now it was her turn since they had a deal and mostly she did honor them. So she answered and as usual when she spoke about her Daniel a smile appeared on her face:” Daniel had been our stable boy. He was the one who taught me how to ride and everything else he knew. We were about 16 when we fell in love.” Regina stopped for moment caught up in the memory of them riding side by side as Robin pulled her out of her thoughts and asked: “It sounds like he was a good man?”   
Regina now smiled as she answered him:” Yes he was. He was always there when I needed him, making me laugh when I was sad, showing me a different side of the world and the people who were living in it. He made me feel like I matter.” The last words came out before Regina could stop them and she closed her mouth scared that she once again show him too much of herself. “You loved him very much didn’t you?” Robin asked her instead of commenting her last words and Regina didn’t know why she answered the ways she did but she knew he would understand:” Yes I did, very much. He was the first one who had faith in me. He always told me I was the most precious person he had ever met, I had a heart so strong it would overcome anything and a mind so sharp I would take over the world someday and if I wanted to I could be whatever I wanted to be. No one ever told me that before.” And no one later in her life, Regina thought with a frown.  
Robin decided it was enough with the questions for today and even though he liked to know more about the day her love had died he didn’t want to push her she opened up far more than he thought she would. She had been speaking with so much warmth and love about her dead love that Robin once again was reassured that this woman was so much more than the evil witch everyone thought her to be.   
That woman lying in front of him was capable of dark, bad things but Daniel had been right. Regina had a strong heart which would overcome anything. Despite everything Robin knew she was still more than capable of loving probably more deeply than anyone he had ever met. Which meant it wasn’t too late for her to turn and he liked to be the person to help her with it do the same Marian did for him so he said to her:” Daniel was right your heart is strong and he was right to believe in you. But he can’t do that anymore and I would like to be the one to have faith in you helping you to…” But before Robin could finish his sentence she again sat up as regal as possible and looked at him with a fire of anger burning in her dark eyes telling him:” Oh so this means you want to be my knight in shining armour saving the poor helpless damsel in distress from the darkness? You know what outlaw you can go to hell I’m not some weak woman who waits desperately for saving. I like my life and don’t need a rescue mission from a simple peasant.”   
Robin who had expected something like that only sat closer to her searched for her eyes and said:” The only times you smiled and looked somehow happy milady since you are here were when Roland was here and when you talked about Daniel. I still don’t know much about you Regina but one thing I can see is that you are not happy with your life and of what you have become. I can see it in your eyes every time I look at you, I’m not sure if I ever saw so much self-loathing in someone’s eyes. So yes you need saving but you were right Regina you don’t need me to rescue you, I can’t do it. The only one who can do it is yourself Regina. You are farthest from a weak damsel milady. You are strong and brave and smart but yes you are in distress because this life, being the Evil Queen is slowly destroying you. And maybe I’m crazy but I really don’t want you to get hurt ever again and I like to do the same thing Marian did for me: I like to show you the right direction if you are willing to and I really really hope that at some point you will be. I’ll go now and get us something to eat and whenever you are ready I’ll be here.” With this words Robin exited the tent and again left a completely surprised and stunned Queen behind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry it took so long but between London (you won’t believe the OutlawQueen moment I had in London if you want to know check my Twitter profil SophiiSunshine, it was unbelievable) and studying there wasn’t much time. I hope everybody of you is fine and you’ll enjoy it. I’m not so sure about Regina in this chapter so if anybody thinks there’s something I should’ve done differently please say it. Otherwise as always I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes in it.

Regina had been angry no furious first at his offer to help her find her way back. Like she would need his help, she had been taking care of herself her entire life she didn’t need some thief to rescue her from whatever Robin thought he had to save her from. She liked her life, she was the Queen, had power, beauty and more riches than she could ever spend. She had everything right? The only thing missing was Snow’s head on a spike and then everything would work out.

At least that was what Regina kept telling herself but it became harder every day to believe it. Sure she had everything but what was everything if you have no one to share it with? No one who would listen, who would laugh with her, no one who cared. So after lashing out at Robin Regina became silent only listening to his words. The words which sounded so damn sincere.

She wanted to tell him that she didn’t needed any rescue but his statement that she was strong and that she was the only one who could change her life made her shut up. He didn’t sound patronizing instead he was almost somewhat hopeful and that confused Regina beyond all measure. She wanted to tell him to go to hell but Regina wasn’t sure how long she could pretend that he wasn’t right.

So she just watched Robin leaving the tent and Regina started to think about what the thief said. She was lonely so lonely. She was yearning after having someone on her side, a partner in that crazy game called life. Regina couldn’t deny that it also would be nice to have her people cheer at her rather than fear her. And what she wanted more than everything was a family( no she wasn’t thinking about two boys with dimples, no she really wasn’t). Which was stupid, love is weakness right? Something that makes people a target, something that can be used to hurt somebody so much. Love meant pain.

That was a lessons Regina had to learn the hard way and a mistake she couldn’t repeat. She wouldn’t be able to survive it a second time, losing everything again would be the last push she would need to break beyond repair, Regina was sure of it(if that hasn’t already happened, Regina thought with a frown).

Still Robin’s blue eyes which were so full of hope as well as determination was something Regina couldn’t get off her mind. He was right in at least one thing. She hadn’t been that happy (or something close to happiness) in ages as she was in the last two days, regardless the fact that she was in physical and emotional pain and almost dying.

Regina’s small and dark heart felt something it didn’t in a very long time. A warm feeling which happened every time Robin’s and her eyes met, when he smiled at her or when his hand lay at top of hers. Not speaking of the soft protective feeling she had when Roland smiled at her.

Regina tried to shake those thoughts out of her head. It was pointless. Even if she wanted to change, to be better (and she didn’t know when the wish of that became reality or if she had simply been too consumed in her hatred to recognize that there might be something her heart desired more than revenge) it would never work out.

She wasn’t the kind of person who could have a happy ending. Robin would rather sooner than later realize that he had made a terrible mistake in offering his help. She was hated by many including his Merry Men who would turn against him like everyone else.

He would be stuck with a woman if he got to know her better would be disgust by what she was. Robin would see that she wasn’t worth any of this trouble and would walk out of her life like everyone else had (why did this thought hurt so much she barely knew this man?) and Roland, yes strangely he liked her at the moment but what would happen when he understood who she was and what she did?

For the first time in a years the memories of what she did felt different. Regina didn’t feel power or anger, she felt something close to guilt( she indeed felt that before but mostly she was able to push it far away from her, guilt was only stopping her from getting Snow’s heart crushed into dust) so the guilt has mostly changed into numbness.

At first when Regina ended a life she did feel guilt, heavy suffocation guilt but that had changed over the years. Now if her anger threw her into a blood rush she only felt numb and shallow in taking a life (or a couple dozen it didn’t really make a difference anymore). Crashing a heart watching the life leaving someone’s eyes had given her the feeling of being in charge, of strength and it eased the pain she was feeling. Just for a moment but giving in in her anger felt like freedom or at least something resembling it.

Regina blinked a couple of times to make the memories of screaming people and blood, their blood on her hands go away. But this time it didn’t work. Thankfully she was interrupted by a loud and happily sounding:” Gina!!!!!!!!!”

Robin calmly had left the tent. He knew she needed time to think and to be honest so did he. The archer was well aware of what he just did and he knew a part of him should be terrified by it. Offering the Evil Queen help for redemption she so clearly didn’t want or at least that was what she had said. At some point of the conversation Robin hadn’t been sure if he wasn’t making a horrible mistake. There had been darkness in her eyes, powerful, dangerous and so bloody emotionless. That had been the moment where the Evil Queen had been staring at him and not Regina. Something that had happened quite often in the last few days.

Even though what happened even more was what made Robin decide that he had done the right thing. He had met the caring almost loving woman, he had met Regina and he had no intension to let her disappear again. And if he didn’t read her completely wrong, somehow that happened very rarely, sure Robin was a good judge of character always had been but with her it sometimes was almost as he could hear her thoughts (but then there where those moments again where he had no idea what the bloody hell this woman was thinking), he got through to her.At least a bit but maybe enough to make her consider his words.

He knew he took his chances here not everyone could or even wanted to change and two days ago he would’ve been sure the Queen was just who she was, an evil vengeful heartless witch.

Something he knew now he had been wrong about, heartless would be the last word to describe that fascinating woman. But Regina sure as hell was also a woman with an anger-management problem and a slight obsession with revenge but not evil. Broken perhaps, but not evil. Robin was an optimistic person who had seen many things in his life and he couldn’t say why he was so sure about one fact: The Queen might be broken and hurt but not beyond repair.

She wasn’t Robin’s to fix, didn’t need fixing that was the wrong word but Regina needed someone to show her that she still had options in which direction her life could go. A change of happiness, a change to be a better version of herself Robin was certain Regina was capable of.

And even more important Robin was sure Regina deep down truly wanted to but had given up that she ever could be. There was just one thing Robin was afraid of. That no matter how hard he would try, no matter how hard he would fight for her, that in the end the Evil Queen in her would be stronger. Robin wasn’t naïve he knew what she had done. He had seen how easy she was to attack him, bloody hell even kill him. He also knew that changing had to start with two things, hope and remorse and at the moment he wasn’t sure if the Queen had any of it.

Robin was interrupted at his troubling thoughts as a little body crashed into his legs and the dark eyes of his son looked up at him:” Papa its lunch time can I go and visit Gina?” Robin smiled as Roland’s eyes lit up only at the mention of Regina’s name. Another reason why he hoped to get through to the Queen. His son was more than just a bit fond of her.

So Robin picked his son up threw him through the air and answered him kindly:” Of course my boy we have to see that the Queen eats right?” His son nodded eagerly at his words and run as soon Robin had put him down to Regina’s tent. Before he could enter it Robin called after him:” I’m going to get us something to eat , tell Regina please food will be here soon and that she has to eat so she can be better alright Roland?” Roland happily yelled a “YES PAPA” back, grinned and carefully opened the tent to say hallo to his beloved Queen.

Regina couldn’t stop herself from grinning back at the little boy in front of her who smiled so brightly at her. Roland came closer to her bed and then asked sweetly:” Hello Gina I missed you. Did you miss me too?” Regina had to chuckle since it were just a few hours since he was had brought her breakfast but the fact that he was already missing her touched her in a way that made her inhale sharply. How was it that that little boy had won her heart so easily, and she his?

“Of course I missed you too Roland,” Regina answered which made his smile only brighter. “Can I sit next to you on your bed?” Roland asked her already climbing up the bed. So Regina only nodded, turned to her side and helped him to sit next to her. “Papa is going to bring us some yummy things to eat Gina,” Roland told her one of his tiny hand lying on her shoulder. “That is very nice of your Papa Roland but I’m not sure if I’m hungry,” Regina replied with (this time) a forced smile. After the intense conversation earlier she couldn’t bear the thought of eating anything much less of the presence of a certain thief. She needed more time to think, to calm down.

As soon Regina said her words Roland shook his head and gently squeezed her shoulder saying as serious as an almost four year old child could manage:” Gina you need to eat, you are sick and you have to eat to get better. And it’s my and Papa’s job that you get strong again.” Regina smiled at the earnestly of the little boy and somehow she was quite sure that Roland wouldn’t accept a no as an answer so she said:” Alright Roland if you say it’s important I’ll eat a bit but only if you join me, deal?”

“Yes Gina I’m gonna stay here and help you,” Roland answered, happy that the convinced Regina to eat something. On cue Robin entered the tent balancing several plates. “Papa, Gina said she wasn’t hungry but I told her how important it is to eat to get better just like you said,” Roland told his father proud. So Robin had put the child up to this, persuading her in eating something knowing she wouldn’t say no to Roland, Regina thought with frown.

She knew when somebody was manipulating her (she liked to do it to occasionally) but somehow she wasn’t angry at the thief. At least not more than she had already been. So she looked up at Robin who was trying to put all plates on the ground without breaking one. He seemed calm not at all bothered by their quite emotional time earlier. “Good job Roland. Do you want to show Regina what’s your favorite meal?” Robin asked his son gently smiling.

Despite the fact that he was fairly composed he hadn’t searched for eyes yet something he usually did first. Regina didn’t know if she should be relieved by it (Rumple had always told her not matter how well composed she presented herself her eyes would always betray her, they would turn her into an open book) but it also was somehow unsettling. She missed the calming effect of his blue eyes (which of course was stupid but it had helped her to relax herself)

Roland grabbed after a plate full of meat and to Regina’s big surprise mushrooms, which child loved mushrooms, she silently wondered.

As Roland tried to pull the plate closer to him, he lost his balance and the full plate was about to fall down as Regina and Robin reached for it at the same time. Their fingers brushed at each other and it shot a warm soft feeling through Regina.

Their eyes met for the first time since he had entered the tent, both now holding onto the plate, both caught up in each other gaze, Robin’s finger over Regina’s. None of them were moving and Regina’s breathing had gone faster. It was like the world stood still and for that one moment it didn’t matter what had happened earlier, or that she was the Evil Queen and he a wanted thief. For this few second where they were holding on to that stupid plate Regina felt something exploding in her heart, something warm and breathtaking. She wanted that moment to last forever which of course was silly but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to hold on to it.

“SORRY Papa, “Roland’s shouting ripped them out of their moment and Regina withdrew her hand as fast as she could. Robin seemed to be as rattled as she was as he carefully gave his son the plate. What the hell had just happened?

What the hell had just happened, Robin asked himself with a confused frown. He had been calm( which took quite a few in and out breathing before he had entered the tent) and had tried to avoid eye contact. To give Regina and himself some space, knowing that Roland would work as some kind of puffer between them. Well and of course to bribe her into eating something. Everything had worked out quite smoothly, less awkward than Robin imaged. His son in constantly need for both of their attention so that no tension could build up.

Well at least till both had grabbed after the falling plate at the same time. Robin didn’t know what had happened when their fingers touched, it wasn’t the first time he touched her but something had been different this time. It had been like lighting had hit him. But warm and wonderful and exciting.

The feeling had only grown stronger when their eyes had finally met after all. As he gazed into those incredible dark eyes it was like everything around them had disappeared. It was like he was born to gaze into them. Robin was confused by the intensity of the feelings. He knew he liked her, had strangely from the moment she had opened her eyes and thrown one after another snarky comment at him.

The moment seemed to affect her as much as it did him if the confused look in her eyes were any indication. Both of them flinched (he only slightly in contrary to a certain Queen) and then Regina had withdrew her hand as she had burnt herself. But Robin didn’t have time to think more about what just occurred since his son took the plate and already talking eagerly.

Robin watched how his son started to show Regina his favorite meal and even though she still looked a bit upside down she carefully listen to his son, asked questions and even let him feeding her a mushroom. A rush of affection went through Robin as he watched the pair. Not matter what just happened it somewhat felt right and as he saw how his son even convinced the Queen to eat some of the meat and how his son pushed a strand of hair back behind Regina’s ear, which turned her little smile into a beaming one he decided that whatever was happening between him and that stunning dark haired woman in front of him, he was just going to let it happen.

Regina was glad for the distraction so she let Roland even feed her with a mushroom which surprisingly was rather delicious. The child told her one story, one adventure he had with his Papa after another. As Regina throw one short glance at said Papa who was sitting next to them her heart missed another beat. Regina decided that it probably would be the best to only focus on Roland till she had full control over her silly traitorous heart again. “Mhh Roland those mushrooms are really good, you have a very good taste,” Regina told the little boy which made him grin and grabbing after some meat. Regina wasn’t sure if she could get it down but as he held it to her he looked so hopeful she couldn’t deny it to him.

So she carefully took the meat from him, smiled and put it into her mouth. It also tasted good and even though swallowing was a bit difficult (which wasn’t alone the fault of the food but more of a certain man who still made her nervous like hell) but thankfully her stomach accepted the food. So Regina took another bit of the food and as soon as she looked up at the child she saw him smiling happily at her. But it was when he gently stroked her hair behind her ear when Regina finally could push her thoughts form Robin to Roland. It was a very sweet gesture from the little boy.

After they spent quite some time eating both her and Robin silent only listening to Roland’s stories (and how excited he was for his birthday) Regina felt somewhat content. Listening to Robin commenting to his son stories and Roland’s proud smile every time either Robin or herself praised him made Regina feel really somewhat happy.

Was this annoying thief maybe right after all, Regina thought with a frown. He somehow managed to get under hers skin like no one else ever could. Before she could think more about it Robin seemed to realize that she had become distracted. Something he always was so aware of, as soon her body language changed he got it. So she watched thief getting up taking the plates with him, telling Roland that it was time to let her rest. Regina felt a pang of disappointment as Roland waved her goodbye but felt the warmth again as he asked quietly:” Can I come and say you goodnight before you go to sleep?”

Regina answered with a kind smile:” Of course you can Roland I’ll be honored.” The child beamed at her and when he left the tent he was humming happily. But Roland weren’t the only one smiling fondly at her for some reason she didn’t understand so did Robin and still did as he came closer to her bed.

Regina tensed for a second she wasn’t ready for another touch but he only looked at her and said softly: „Dining with you was a very appreciated honor milady.” He grinned at her and then continued:” Rest Regina it was already a long day and I can almost hear your brain working. I’ll let you be in peace for a bit. “With those words Robin left the tent.

Before Regina could say anything or think about what everything had happened today her eyes dropped shut. Everything seemingly had worn her out more than she thought and she gladly let sleep overtook her not suspecting that that might had been a mistake. Because the nightmares came back only this time it was something she hadn’t dreamed about in quite some time. It wasn’t about Daniel ,her mother or Leopold. Her dream likely would answer Robin’s question if she deep down felt remorse.

Because her dream for the first time in years were full of screams, tears and blood. But this time it wasn’t her blood it was the blood of others sticking on her hands. Hands that had brought death and destruction over the people of the Enchanted Forest. So if the armor and all walls were broken down, ripped apart by the poison induced dreams, the answer to Robin’s question was yes. Deep down Regina did feel remorse.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people thank you so much for staying with. You are the best!!! So this chapter starts quite troubled but with an let’s say interesting ending ;) Hope you like it and please tell me what you think. I don’t own anything and responsible for all mistakes made.  
> PS: Did you guys see the season 5 sneak peek? Can’t wait for September!!!

_Regina was sitting in her carriage, on her way to a village not too far from her castle. She was tired hadn’t slept a second last night, never did when that special day was coming. Today was Daniel’s 13 th anniversary of his death, 13 years since her mother crushed his heart into dust, 13 years since all happiness had disappeared from her life. Leaving only emptiness behind and anger so much anger. _

_It was always boiling in Regina, flowing through her veins. Some days this anger was the only thing that kept her going, the only thing which made her get up in the morning. But today was different, has always been different. Usually the pain was strong lingering inside every fiber of her body but now it was unbearable and it had only increase as Regina was looking at her father who was sitting across her. He had let it happen, hadn’t stood up once for her and likely never would. He was weak. Something Regina always fought never to be again and succeeded, in contrary to her dear father._

_As they were riding through the woods Regina was looking out of the window feeling breathtaking heartbreak and the wrenching pain of loss. She was in thoughts, caught up in the memory of a life she used to have as something caught her eyes._

_A group of people were gathering on the field looking happy and content.” Stop the carriage,” she ordered her guards in a tone which didn’t leave any questions why the Queen wanted to stop at this particular place. Regina got out of the carriage as soon as it stopped moving, head held up high, her whole posture as regal as possible. She looked around and went closer to the bunch of people noticing how some of them started to tremble, tremble in fear of her._

_Which gave her a sense of power and control (and a pang of sadness not something she would ever admit), fear had always been an effective tool. “Hello citizen enjoying the meadow?” Regina asked smiling coldly at them. As the replied with a yes and the explained to her that she just interrupted a wedding Regina’s entire body became tense for second as the memory of Daniel putting a ring on her finger flowed through her. But only for a moment and then she was perfectly composed again, so fast that likely no one had noticed._

_Regina was watching the smiling and happy faces of the people in front of her and it made her livid. She felt how her anger was building, one wave after another going through her as she studied the bride and groom. Explaining them that they were on royal ground and did not ask for permission. That statement wiped the stupid grinning away from their faces._

_So young, so happy, so in love and before she even thought about it her arm pushed into the chest of the young man in front of her. Regina could hear the others gasp around him as she closed her fingers around the delicate organ and ripped it out with one fast move. The heart was red not on dark spot clouding it (in opposite to her own, he was innocent and pure) and the husband-to-be looked at her eyes full of fear, his hands shaking. Feeling how a rush of power and satisfaction was running through her, seeing all of them terrified of her._

_But something was wrong, he remembered her of Daniel which made her taking back some steps but before anything else could have happen her father spoke up:” Your Majesty you need the support of your citizen, killing them would be short-sided and weak.”_

_That was when Regina saw red. “I’M NOT WEAK,” she yelled at her father feeling how the rage inside her exploded. “I was going to spare you but somebody just made me angry,” the words were almost a growl, low and dangerous but true. She was going to spare him but now...all she could hear was her mother saying the same word over and over again: weak, weak, WEAK. Regina couldn’t breathe anymore the pain and even more important the rage was suffocation her._

_Regina snapped and tightened her grip around the heart and started to squeeze, watching the light in the eyes of the young man going out. Which made her mother’s voice finally stop. The groom fell on to the ground with a loud bang, dead and Regina felt her pain ease, how her lungs could expand themselves. Looking at the others Regina felt nothing, she didn’t feel anything, she was empty, dead inside. And that was the most excruciating pain Regina ever knew._

_Then the scene suddenly changed. Regina was still standing out in the field, the groom dead to her feet and she looked down at her hands. They were red, blood red. Regina flinched as she heard a scream but she could make out from where it was coming, seemingly from everywhere. As she looked up all the wedding guests including the dead-but-now-suddenly-alive-again-groom where standing close next to hear repeating one word (like her mother had) again and again: Monster, monster…MONSTER_

_She took it back-that was the worst feeling she ever knew._

Robin was outside talking with his men about Roland. Usually very pleasant topic since all of his Merry Men were very fond of his little boy and would burn down the world to save him if necessary. But today Robin brought the topic of Roland’s birthday up or to be more specific the fact that his son insisted to invite Regina.” Robin you can’t be serious, we can’t ask a monster like her to join us, she will ruin everything,” Little John told his friend with a concerned frown.

All of them had been worried about their leader and his clear and irrational attachment to a woman known as The Evil Queen. “John I forbid the word monster in context with Regina and this is not up to you or anyone else. It’s Roland’s birthday and he wishes her to attend. Therefore I was not asking for your permission to invite her I was only informing you of our guest of honor.” Robin answered trying to be calm but he felt anger rising inside him trying to keep in mind that his men hadn’t seen the other side of Regina.

“But Robin you have to understand…,” George tried to reason with the archer but Robin only held up his hand to stop him from continuing.” I do not have to understand and quite frankly neither do you. Roland wants her here and unless you want to disappoint him on his birthday she will attend,” Robin replied throwing an angry glare at his friend.

Knowing that they wouldn’t be able to convince their friend or the little lad otherwise (father and son were both more stubborn than it was good for them) so they only sighed, nodded and John said to Robin, sounding slightly defeated:” If you think it’s the right thing to do we won’t stay in the way. Roland deserves his birthday party and if you are certain it has to involve the Queen we stand behind you.” Not really appeased but knowing he wouldn’t get more out of his men Robin nodded. He was about to say thank you for trusting him as a loud scream tore through the camp, clearly coming from the Queen’s tent.

A scream so full of pain that it made Robin blood freeze having only one though in his mind: Regina. He only yelled a “ Wait here” at his men and ran as fast as he his feet will carry him (why was that damn tent so far away?) to her not even thinking once to stop, not caring which danger was expecting inside only the strong, all overtaking need to protect her. He was trying to push the thoughts away which raced through his mind: Regina in danger, Regina hurt Regina dead. Tuck had said she would recover, she was so close to be well again it just couldn’t happen.

Robin was out of breath as he reached the entrance, grabbing his knife, ready to fight as he saw something which made his heart clench. No one was in the tent beside the Queen, no intruder but she definitely was in pain (still he let out his breath with relief, she was still alive, she was unharmed, she was…).

She was throwing herself around in the bed, trembling so severe Robin got scared. What the bloody hell was happening. She had nightmares before, quite heavy ones to be honest but none seemed to hit her like whatever was torturing her know.

So remembering how badly she reacted the last time he had touched her in this condition he slowly walked towards her, sinking next to her and taking her shaking hand gently into his lowering his mouth to her ear and whispering.”Shh Regina is alright, everything is fine, you are safe.” But it didn’t work, she only fought harder but then her screams suddenly stopped only to be replaced by desperate whimpers. Whimpers which made Robin’s heart crush into hundred pieces. He at first shook her shoulder softly since she still wasn’t reacting he shook a bit firmer and kept saying her name. She still wasn’t waking up her entire body trembling, cold sweat was all over her. Then her eyes finally popped open.

Robin smiled at her, telling her that everything was fine. It didn’t calm her down even the slightest, so Robin decided to take the risk and gathered her into his arms. At first the fought him, trying to get out of his grip ( which wasn’t very successful since Robin was far more stronger than the tiny Queen) then her hands suddenly went to her ears covering them. She was shaking her head violently and her breathing was fast and uneven.

After holding the struggling Queen for a few minutes she eventually sank against him:” It’s alright Regina, shh, it’s alright, you are safe with me, ”Robin whispered softly into her ear, she went rigid again for a second , seemingly debating something and then started to cry at his shoulder. The tears ran down her beautiful face as she was sobbing in his arms. As he was holding her Robin heard her mumbling a few words to herself over and over again. It took him some time to understand them but as he did he only pulled her closer to him which she surprisingly let happen. The words where always the same: _I’m a monster, I’m a monster._

Regina felt dizzy everything was spinning and god she still could hear the screams why could she still here them? She was awake she knew it she could hear Robin’s voice even if she didn’t understand what he was saying. There was blood everywhere but how did it get here, who was it from? The blood was on her hands dropping on the ground, faces appeared in front of her eyes, faces of crying and terrified people, who were they? Regina couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think not when they were screaming so loud. Regina covered her ears trying to muffle the sound but it didn’t work. She was seeing her victims Regina realizes shaking even more than before. All the souls she killed at her hunt after Snow White.

Then she suddenly felt arms around her, strong warm arms holding her gently. Regina panicked at first trying to fight her way out till she finally heard something which drowned the screams. A heartbeat, Robin’s heartbeat she realized. It was steady and somewhat comforting, it made the screams stop and the pictures vanish.

Regina tried to regain breath and compose herself but she failed. Those weren’t dreams she was used to she hadn’t dreamed about the people she murdered in years why now? She never did , she couldn’t take it ,it needed to stop, now , it needed too…Robin’s soothing voice, his caring touches were the last thing Regina needed to lose all self-control she had left. Debating for a moment but then the strength left her and she started to sob in Robin’s arms. Her entire body was shaking as Robin’s hand stroke gently up and down her back, rubbing comforting circles.

They stayed like this for a quite some time Regina wasn’t sure how long, she only knew that she felt safe and that the memory flashes had stopped. As Regina finally calmed down the heavy weight she was feeling on her chest only got worse. She couldn’t define the painful feeling she had instantly but when she did, when she recognized the stabbing heaviness of guilt she did the only thing she could, she lashed out. Lashed out at the person responsible for the pain she was in in the moment. Robin.

He was the one who made her remember , made her remember all those awful things she did. She had pushed them away, packed them into a little box and buried them somewhere deep in her mind. Robin and his damn words about changing, about being better, about leaving the evil deed she did behind her. It was all his fault without him she would’ve never had that dream, it wouldn’t hurt so much. She let him close enough to hurt her, Regina realized with a frown. She had shown weakness and now she was paying the price for it, once again. “This is all your fault thief,” Regina hissed at Robin pulling herself out of his hold.

Robin thought he didn’t hear right as he felt Regina withdrawing herself. His fault? How the hell was any of this his fault? Robin tried to find her eyes but she had her head turned away from him. She as still pale like snow and slightly shaking, so he hesitated for a moment since she clearly was still quite rattled but he needed to know what she was talking about. “What do you mean by that Regina?” Robin asked her calmly waiting anxious for a response.

For a moment there was silence between them and then she turned around facing him and yelling at him her voice almost sounding desperate: “You made me remember. I didn’t see them. I didn’t feel it but you, you and your stupid talk about my darkness and leaving it behind…Because of you it all came back.” Robin didn’t understand at first what she was referring to till it hit him.

She had dreamt about the people she hurt, at least that was what he suspected and she seemingly was quite affected by it. “What did you see in your dream milady?” Robin asked her quietly. Tears where gathering in her eyes for a moment and then once again he could watch Regina disappear and the Evil Queen appear.

Her dark eyes went cold and hard, she hissed at him:” What do you think I saw thief? Peasants whose hearts I ripped out, whose villages I let slaughtered, I saw their blood running down…” She had said it with such disinterest that Robin wasn’t sure if he was seeing a mask or if it was the truth. The only thing giving her away a little was the breaking of her voice at the end.” Did you enjoy it Your Majesty?” Robin asked her and adding seeing her confused look:” The people you killed, the families you destroyed, did you like it?” “Yes I did,” Regina replied but her voice slightly trembled. Only a bit but Robin noticed it. He always did.

“ So you are saying you don’t feel a shred of remorse for what you did?” Robin asked her again, grabbing her hand. He knew the answer for that question was yes she did feel it ( oh god he hoped she did, that he was right about her allthe time but now as those darks eyes looked so coldly at him he wasn’t so sure anymore)

Regina answered with a simply “No”. “I don’t believe you Regina,” Robin now came closer to her, still holding her hand.” I believe you do feel it and judging by your reaction to the memories of it with quite intensity.” Regina opened her mouth but Robin was faster:” Oh I’m not naïve Your Majesty I’m sure you enjoyed them or at least justified them in the moment of their death. Letting them feel a bit of the pain you were feeling isn’t like that? You pushed those memories as far away as possible because you knew as soon if you would allow them, the part of you who still has a conscience would rip you apart.”

Regina was now silent so Robin took it as a sign to continue:” You might have done evil things Regina, horrible and bad things but you are not evil. And I know that a big part of you always hated what you have become and know this part is showing you with a little help of this nasty poison what you are trying to forget for so long. I’m not the one who forced you seeing those images of your past, it’s the part of you who still has enough good in it. And I like to help dealing with it Regina.”

Regina had felt the rage building up in her the entire conversation, she just wanted those images to disappear but Robin oh god how did she hated that insufferable thief. Regina was about to through Tuck’s no-magic-for-at-least-a week-advice in the wind and choke the life out of him. He had hit a spot inside, found a new way of hurting her that she was so full pain and she needed an outlet.

Then he said those last words and Regina inhaled sharply. Why did he still believe after everything that there was good in her? There wasn’t anything left Snow had made sure of it. That little brat had destroyed everything including who she used to be. There where so many things she liked to throw at him that stupid outlaw but his last words hit her in a different way than the others did.

He wanted to help her, again. Why did he kept offering her his help what did he gain from it? ” What the hell do you want from me thief?” Regina asked him almost curiously. “I told you before Regina I want to help you to see another side of you, is that so hard to understand?” Robin replied with a sight.

“There is no other side of me outlaw. Whatever you think you are seeing is only in your imagination. I am the Evil Queen, with all I am ““I don’t believe that,” Robin repeated looking straight at her.” You are not evil…” Regina interrupted him with a snarl:” Not evil ha? In case you haven’t noticed or it didn’t go into numbskull, there’s a reason why I’m called the Evil Queen. I killed, I tortured and I kidnapped. How would you call me then?”

Robin only shrugged and said calmly:” I never said that those things you did weren’t evil because they were. Which is something you know yourself. But acting evil is not the same as being evil Regina.” Wasn’t it? Was there really a difference?

“Where is the difference wise man?” Regina asked with a smirk but on the inside she was nervous awaiting his answer:” The difference milady is the ability to love or otherwise said the inability to love. Good people can make bad choices, sometimes if they get hurt so many times some turn into villains themselves, someone like you Regina. The difference that even know being called the Evil Queen you never, not once lost the ability to care, to feel, to love. This is all the proof I need. ““What makes you so sure that I can love?” Regina asked him still grinning but being terrified of his answer.

“ Because milady you are here for not even three days and my son has already won a place in your heart. You can deny it all you want I see the way you look at him, I can see how your little almost invisible smile turns into a beaming one as soon as you lay eyes on Roland. And speaking for my rather handsome and charming self I’m still here too. I challenged you, I never once played the you-are –the –Queen-and-I’m-the-peasant game which I assume angered you immensely and you killed for less. But I’m still alive, holding your hand without being turned into a toad.”

Regina wanted to say something but she nothing came out of her mouth which Robin took to his advantage and continued speaking: “You still can love Regina and that dreadful feeling what’s driving you crazy right now is guilt and remorse. Which tells me you still have a conscience and even more important enough good inside you that a fight for you would be worth it.”

His last words made her battered heart skip a few beats. Why did he keep insisting that he wanted to fight for her? What was his endgame, what was he gaining in his little game?

“Why do you care, what do you get out of it?” Regina asked again. Robin sighed and looked again for her eyes. Those clear warm blue one meeting confused dark ones as he said:” I know it’s hard to believe Regina but I’m not having an agenda here.” Robin paused for a moment unsure what to say. He finally went with the truth (was always the best way right?)

” I like you Regina. I care for you in a way I haven’t in a long time for a woman. “But of course it was the wrong thing to say judging by the fact that Regina’s eyes widened so much that it was almost comical. She turned her head down and as she finally answered it was barely more than a whisper:” You can’t care, not about me.” Robin was taken aback by her self-loathing answer.

He slowly came closer to her and taking her hand now with both of his:” And why is that milady?” Robin heard inhale sharply and as she answered her voice was trembling again:” Because you can’t. I destroy everything I touch. Everybody who cared about me or I cared about. I always lose them or hurt them. I’m not the kind of person who somebody would...” Regina stopped talking swallowing hard. So did Robin. It almost broke is heart knowing what the word was she hadn’t said: love, she didn’t believe anyone could love her.

He wanted her to tell her that it wasn’t true that she was a beautiful, no he stopped himself that was the wrong word. Yes of course she was beautiful rather stunning but that wasn’t the problem here. He knew Regina knew that there were many out there who desired her or rather her perfect formed body. But she didn’t believe that anyone could love everything of her, every dark and twisted, every hurt and broken part of her. Too bad she was wrong. “You are wrong milady I assure you are lovable and if you wouldn’t shut out everybody who comes close to you I even would go so far to say you are easy to love.” Regina looked at him with a so much disbelieve is almost shattered Robin’s heart. Robin would do anything to make her believe him but how? Robin knew none of his words were strong enough to make years of suffering and inflicting pain go away. Then Robin suddenly knew what he had to do. Something he had wanted to do almost since the moment Regina had opened her eyes but it had become something more since their lunch together. He had imagined it , dreamed about it, thought about it. Knowing that he took huge risk here Robin sent a prayer that she would understand it, would feel it too and even more important wouldn’t run.

“If you don’t believe me Regina let me show you.” Robin whispered and then put his hand carefully at her chin and gently turned her face to him. As he looked in those dark eyes so full of emotions he knew it was the right moment. Robin’s other hand went into her hair her wonderful silky her and then he lowered his head. It felt like a warm summer breeze and a firework at the same time as his lips crashed softly onto Regina’s full red ones. As soon as their lips touched each other it was once again like the whole world stood still. Robin was feeling so much at the same time. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds but it was like an energy blast went through the tent. Regina had closed her eyes so Robin couldn’t see her reaction just yet.( she hadn’t burned him alive or turned him into bug so maybe chances weren’t too bad??)

Robin on the other hand was already sure. He had never had a better kiss in his life then those few seconds where his lips touched Regina’s.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people hope everyone is fine and thank you so much for your lovely comments. This chapter took some time, law schools takes its tool and I rewrote everything. I also have the headcanon that Maleficent and Regina might have been more than friends ;)  
> I hope you’ll like it and please tell me what you think. As usual I own nothing and I’m responsible for all mistakes made.  
> PS: So in case any of you want to discuss the story or have questions I can be find on Twitter (SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr(onceuponahappytime) and would love to chat with you.

It had hurt so much just thinking about it, thinking about love and to know it would never be something she would have. Somebody who would love her with all his heart, who would put her first, who would be _hers._ Somebody like Daniel. But Regina knew that it was too late, Daniel was gone and even if she would believe in second chances in life they certainly didn’t apply to a woman known as the Evil Queen. She already let go of that idea, the idea of being loved and happy, living a life in loneliness for years now with the only thing remaining she had left, revenge. Then this damn thief strolled into her life.

All his wonderful words sounded too good to be true. Simple statements from a hopeful fool nothing more. Nothing she could ever believe not even from him looking at her so sincere. Her heart was dark and black, incapable of love and not worthy of a second chance. Then this damn thief kissed her.

Regina was too caught up in her own self-loathing thoughts that she at first didn’t even reacted as Robin came closer and closer, then his lips touched hers and everything changed. His lips pressing gently, the kiss lasting mere a few seconds, no tongue, no wild passion only soft tenderness. Caressing and affectionate but no heat, no pressure. Still implying so much more.

Regina couldn’t breathe anymore, couldn’t think, everything was spinning (and this time she couldn’t blame it on the poison). Her heart fluttered and it was balm for her shattered soul. The pain was less, instead everything felt warm and nice and safe as his lips had crushed onto hers.

Regina had closed her eyes, scared if she opened them she would realize that all was a dream. Equally terrified that it would be real and the archer had actually kissed her, had her made _feel things._ Because right now Regina didn’t know what would scare her more.

She still could feel his touch even as he carefully retreated, one hand still in her hair. Regina took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes and looked at him.

Robin felt how he became more and more anxious, afraid that he had still done the wrong thing. Maybe it had been too much for her to take in, maybe it had been too soon after all or at worst he had misinterpreted all her signals (which could’ve happened Regina was sometimes a difficult woman to read) and she had no interest in him at all and he just made her feel even more uncomfortable then she had already felt. So he increased the distance between them waiting patiently for her reaction.

But when Regina finally opened her dark eyes Robin’s heart skipped a beat. There were so many emotions in those big and beautiful eyes. Confusion, pain, joy, surprise and for a moment just a few seconds so much vulnerability. For mere moments Regina was open almost raw. The sight of that almost knocked Robin from her bed.

The way her eyes lighted up, how her lips curved into a small smile, elusive but breath-taking, Robin couldn’t stop starring at her, that stunning and intriguing woman in front of him. It was like magic and Robin didn’t want this moment to end. So gently stroke through her hair, her wonderful silky hair (god he loved her hair) his eyes not leaving hers. It was silent in the tent, only their breathing was to hear, no one daring to move, Robin just kept petting softly her hair not sure what to say if he even should say something.

It was probably for the best to give her some time so Robin (not without sighting internally since the last thing he wanted was to leave her now) said quietly:” I hope you can believe me know milady” A soft grin appeared on Robin’s face as he leaned forward again ,noticing how she shivered for a moment, not knowing if it was out of desire or fear, he wanted to be sure which of both it was so he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead, mumbling to her:” I know you are scared Regina and you don’t have to say or do anything alright? I’m not going to push, press or force you to do anything, do you understand?”

After saying those words Robin once again searched for her eyes, trying to make sure he didn’t overstepped. But as openly she has looked at him before, now she tried everything to avoid his gaze. Robin was about to lift her chin but after having second thoughts he decided to let her be so she could figure out for herself what just happened. Robin took a few steps back, smiled and said:” Get some rest Regina, I’ll be back later.” Throwing another glance at the still silent Queen, Robin realized with a concerned frown that she hasn’t moved an inch since their kiss broke. He sent a prayer that she wouldn’t shut him out again. It always seemed one step forward two steps back with Regina, Robin thought frustrated as he left the tent.

Regina didn’t know what to do. There was only chaos inside her, in her mind, in her heart and it was driving her crazy. Glad that Robin had finally left the tent so she could think, trying to figure out how the hell to get out of this mess.

Regina kissed before, passionate and rough, sweet and innocent but this kiss was different, oh god so damn different. It had meant something, something beyond satisfy sexual desire (images of Graham flew by) or mutual enjoyment and respect (she really had savoured her forbidden nights with Maleficent). It wasn’t just the kiss itself even though it had been a rather breath-taking one, it was the implication of it.

At first she thought Robin was only kissing her to proof some stupid point but then she saw the way Robin had looked at her afterwards. There had been so much affection in his eyes, true and honest.

Waking up in that damn tent a few days ago Regina had been sure Robin either was an overly helpful fool or just enjoyed looking at her with the intended to warm her bed at some point. Sure he had looked with desire at her from time to time, his eyes wandering over her body, getting stuck at her rather impressive cleavage but it always had been more. And that was dangerous.

Sex was alright and she would’ve lied if she would say he wasn’t quite handsome. Those blue eyes, those strong arms and those dimples and well she wasn’t dead. But what those eyes were showing, the words he chose to say to her. Reassuring her that he wouldn’t force her to do anything (oh god just the fact that he knew enough about her to recognise her fears so easily) giving her space and time just showed once again what kind of man Robin of Lockley was.

A good and kind one (definitely not one for a woman whose heart was dark as coal) who still believed in true love, in second chances (damn he probably even believed in unicorns and rainbow stickers, Regina thought with a frown). He was the kind of man who would want something serious, he would want _more._ More than Regina was willing to give, never again, the stakes were just too high, the chances to get hurt to great. It was just not worth it, Regina told herself trying to ignore the voice who whispered the words _love, home, family._

Regina shook her head vigorously, those things were for other people not for her. Besides if there was something she had learned over the years, that her mother had been right, love was weakness.

But you were so happy with Daniel maybe mother was wrong, the voice in her head whispered again. Regina let herself fall down on the bed trying to shake off the image of her and Robin, his arms around her, kissing her temple softly, Roland to their feet happily laughing. A family, a home. The thought of finally being not alone anymore, to have somebody to lean on.

No, no that was stupid, that would never happen and even if you would destroy everything, Regina thought, trying to reason with herself or rather her traitorous heart. Robin and her that could never happen at least nothing more than having a little fun but she knew that wasn’t what he would want (and a part of her knew that if she would be honest with herself neither would she). They didn’t have a future together no matter what she was feeling for the archer (she wasn’t feeling anything, she didn’t even liked him right?)

So yes in Regina’s head was only chaos and her head hurt(oh but that pain was nothing compared to the one in her heart). Exhaustion finally took over and Regina fell asleep a silent tear rolling down her cheek. She would’ve liked to be happy so much but in the end no one would ever love her and the sooner her damn heart realized that the better.

Robin was sitting on the ground listening to his son’s stories or rather pretending to do so. He loved it to listen to Roland but at the moment his thoughts always wandered back to a certain Queen. The kiss had been amazing but he knew he might had broken down the first wall but there were many to come and like many times before Robin was scared that whatever they were feeling for each other (and he knew she did too not matter how hard she denied it) wasn’t strong enough to overcome whatever was stopping Regina.

Robin continued talking and playing with his son, taking care of some of the things in the camp trying to avoid his men who all looked at him with a concerned frown till the sun was about to go down. It was dinner time and he had given Regina enough time to compose herself again (at least he hoped he did, he was serious when he had told her that he didn’t want to push her) so he grabbed some food and walked to the tent.

As Robin entered he heard the even breathing of Regina, she was asleep. Robin came closer, thinking he might should let her sleep, she needed the rest and she looked somewhat peaceful. So he let his glance wander for a few moments over her sleeping form and then was about to turn around as she surprisingly spoke up.

“Robin I want to leave tomorrow,” she said her voice barely above a whisper. It was like somebody threw a bottle of cold water over Robin as he heard her words, trying to understand them, understand her. He knew the kiss might upset her but leaving? Robin stood still as she turned to face him, her expression blank, the mask perfectly in place.

It took some time till Robin found his word again:” Why Regina? If the kiss was too much or really not wanted I sincerely apologise for it but I’m asking you don’t rush into things. I know it might be a bit much, a bit scary but I’m not expecting anything from you. But I know that I’m not the only one who is feeling it. We just have to…”

Whatever Robin waned to say was cut off by Regina as she looked up, eyes dark and cold again:” The problem isn’t that that it is too much or scary thief the problem is that I do not feel the same for you what you apparently feel for me.” Robin inhaled sharply at her words. She was lying right? She was only afraid, burned to many time before but what if he had been wrong. What if he had interpreted too much in her looks, her touches? What if she was playing him all the time?

No, Robin thought with a shake of his head, he was right, he knew what he had seen. He didn’t know Regina very well but good enough to get that the things which scared her most weren’t monsters or assassins shooting poisoned arrows at her, it was giving her heart to somebody, open herself up, showing vulnerability.

At least he (really, really) hoped that he read her right. So he only came closer and said to her as calm as possible:” I think you are not telling the truth milady. You can say you don’t feel the connection between us, deny it as often as you want but your eyes betray you milady. They have from the moment we met. I know after losing everything opening up seems dangerous if not impossible but don’t you think sometimes in life there are risks you have to take even when you are scared?”

“You are a fool, a naïve fool Robin Hood and that will break your neck someday. And I already told you I’m not afraid and I’ll not deny that I find you rather attractive and if I wouldn’t be in such a poor condition I would love to invite you into my chambers showing you what I’m really capable of. No sounding so scared anymore do I?” Regina hissed at him her looks suddenly seductive.

Robin wasn’t uneffaced but not really impressed by her tactics. Seduction might work by weaker men but not with him. “Oh I’m sure you would but the thing is Regina I want more than your admittedly very tempting body. I want you, I want to get to know you, all of you. The dark and broken parts as much as the snarky and kind ones. I want to get to know the real Regina, the one behind the mask and like you I don’t scare easily. So unless you look me straight into my face and tell me that you feel nothing beyond physical attraction towards me then I’ll let you go and won’t bother you anymore.” Robin told her holding her gaze.

“I don’t feel anything for you thief,” Regina said the mask perfectly in place again, well almost. Somebody else might not have noticed it but Robin heard how her voice trembled for a second, how her dark eyes showed the lie she was telling, betraying her once again. But he also knew that he would be able to get through to her in time, if everything went well the fever should be broken by tonight and even though she still would be very weak and sickly she would be strong enough to leave.

He wouldn’t force her to stay, never but Robin Hood was a clever man. You don’t escape law enforcement for such a long time if you don’t know a few tricks. Yes the Queen wasn’t ready to admit what she, what they were feeling (whatever they actually were feeling Robin was cautions to label it) her love for Roland was clear and he knew she would loath to know she ruined his birthday party so he said as neutral as he managed trying to ignore the sharp pain in his heart:” If that’s your finale answer milady I’m going to accept it. Even though you promised my son that you would attend his birthday party and I would hate him to be hurt because I seemingly misinterpreted some things. So I'm asking you to stay at least till that, after that you a free to go and I’ll make sure you have a save arrival at your castle You Majesty.” Robin looked at expectantly hoping she wouldn’t disappoint his son.

Regina’s dream had been full of imaged of a future, her and Robin, them and Roland. Happy, content, a family. For the first time in years Regina didn’t want to wake up from a dream. Till everything changed.

Flashes of Daniel dead, her mother crushing his heart, her whispered “Love is weakness Regina” made her wake up with cold sweat and a heavy heart. She knew what she had to do, she had to leave, get away from Robin and his tempting offer, far away from getting hurt.

So she put up her mask as Robin had entered and told him her wish (she wanted to leave right? Why did everything hurt just thinking of leaving all this behind?) He didn’t gave up at first (but she was sure she saw a flash of hurt in his eyes) but then agreed and Regina sighted in relief, well till he brought up Roland. She knew the boy would be devastated if she wouldn’t come , the child wasn’t talking about anything else and somehow she didn’t have the heart to do so, to let him down.

So she looked at the thief and nodded:” Alright outlaw I’m going to stay till Roland’s birthday and not a day longer am I clear?” Robin expression was blank Regina couldn’t tell at all what he was thinking. “That’s all I’m asking Regina, “ he then came closer and put food in front of her , smiling softly, sitting next to her and said:” I brought you dinner, eat up you need your strength. After that you should go back to sleep, if Tuck is right your fever should break tonight.”

Regina looked at him surprised as he handed her the bread. He didn’t make a move to leave her and they ate in silence. Regina was confused she had imagined he would storm off after her declaration that she would leave but here he was. Still taking care of her. When she was done Robin took the empty plates, whispered a soft “Good night milady” and left the tent. If her eyes wouldn’t get heavy again Regina would be trying to figure out what that damn thief was up to. Sleep took her again and thankfully a dreamless one.

As Regina woke up it was still dark and she felt sweaty and weak but realising something. Tuck had been right her fever broke. She still felt like hell but better. Regina looked around in the tent till she saw to her surprise that Robin was lying besides her sleeping soundly like he had done every night. He was still here watching over her.

Regina tried to get up she needed some air but her body wasn’t ready yet to do so. Regina lost balance everything was spinning and she fell. Expecting the impact with the ground Regina prepared herself for the pain but it never came. Once again strong arms went around her and prevent her from falling Robin looking at her concerned:” Are you alright Regina?” Regina nodded then fought herself out of the hold and Robin gently helped to sit on the bed. “I’m fine thief I only needed some air but apparently my body decided that was a bad idea.” Regina replied annoyed and angry at herself.

Robin only looked at her thoughtfully then put out his hand. Regina threw a confused glance at him so he mumbled:” You said you needed some air and I’m offering you assistance. Unless you prefer to try it again by yourself but I’m not sure your body would welcome it to add more bruises to it than you already suffered. So milady may I have you permission to show you by far the most beautiful place in the woods to see the stars?”

Regina wasn’t sure what to say. On the one hand she really needed to be outside again, three days in a tent took its tool but on the other hand she knew it would’ve been an impossible task without Robin but what would he interpret in her yes? More than it was? (Damn it was so much more but Regina knew she needed to push her foolish desires away)

“My intensions are pure I assure you Regina. I respect your wishes I only want to help,” Robin told her noticing her hesitance.

The wish to have some fresh air won in the end and Regina nodded and let Robin help her up. Again everything was spinning, she felt dizzy and for a moment feared to fall again but Robin held her up. Oh did her heart clench as the put his arms around her. She felt her body shiver and when their eyes met she felt the stupid urge to kiss him but she told herself to get it together. She told she didn’t feel anything for him so she turned away from him and signalled him that she wanted to go.

So they left the tent together his arms gently around her waist and when they arrived a few minutes later at the place, seeing the stars Regina knew Robin had been right. The stars never have looked more stunning then they did now as Robin helped Regina to find a comfortable position on the ground. So they were sitting next to each other in silence only watching the beauty of nature and for a moment Regina let herself imagine that it could be like this every night. She and Robin and the stars.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people thank you sooo much for staying with me. You are the best!!! This chapter is a set up for something big which is going to happen in the next chapter (the dream is a slight clue but it will be with a bit more angst ;)) I hope you like it and please tell me if you liked it or if there is something I should do differently. Enjoy and take care <3
> 
> PS: If you want to ask me, talk to me or anything else I can be found at Twitter (SophiiSunshine) and Tumblr(onceuponahappytime)  
> PS2: Did you guys see the bts pic of Regina in the red dress? Season 5 is going to be amazing

Robin was sitting next to Regina on the ground trying to subtly throwing glances at her. It was a beautiful night the stars glowing in the sky , the moon above them, the sound of the nature surrounding them and this stunning woman next to him. It was perfect. He and Regina and the stars.

He watched how the Queen inhaled the fresh air deeply clearly enjoying being out of the tent for the first time in days. As Robin watched her, seemingly lost in her own thoughts a small smile appeared on her face which made Robin’s heart flutter. He couldn’t tear his gaze away he loved it when she smiled. She had a beautiful one and Robin couldn’t wait to find out how she would look like when she would laugh. Not just one small curving of her lips but a real joyful laughter. Not that Regina had a lot to be joyful about in the last few days but since she agreed to stay till Roland’s birthday Robin intended to make the best of their time left together.

Even though he hoped she would agree to stay longer at the end Robin was no fool. He knew the chances of convincing her were slim but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try everything, use every card he had. Robin didn’t know what about Regina it was what made him act like a lovesick fool.

He had always fought for what was important, of course but he always had been thinking clearly. In his line of work and especially since he was a father he had started thinking things through, not just jump right into it. (There was a big difference between listing so your heart and jump off the top of your head into situations)

Whatever mistakes he made now would not only affect him but also his son and his man so he was cautious. But with Regina, a woman he only knew for three days he was already ready taking risks and he didn’t understand why. It was crazy.

“You were right it’s beautiful here,” Regina’s voice ripped him out of this thoughts and he looked at her almost startled. “I tend to be right milady so yes it is,” Robin answered with a smirk which made the Queen roll her eyes. “You have quite a big mouth thief, “Regina replied with raised brows.

“Only trying to keep up with your sharp tongue milady,” Robin said while grinning at her cheeky. The answer once again earned him an eye roll from the Queen.

They fell back to silence again both caught up in their own thoughts till Regina yawn interrupted the silence and Robin stood up holding his hand out to her:” You are tired milady if you allow me to lead you back to your bed?”

Robin waited for her response, she seemingly was debating if she was ready to leave the nature and the calmness behind but in the end her desire to sleep won. She nodded and let him help her up. Robin’s arms automatically went around her waist again, steadying her as she slightly lost balance for a moment.

Slowly they made their way back to the tent Robin holding the small and warm body of the Queen softly to his maybe a bit closer than it would be necessary but she didn’t seem to mind so he held on a bit tighter.

As the couple reached Regina’s bed Robin gently helped getting her in to it and put the covers up. “Are you alright Regina?” Robin asked to reassure himself that everything was fine before he was going to head to bed too. Regina nodded at him and for a few seconds a small almost shy smile appeared on her face and then her eyes closed, sleep taking over.

Robin gently stroke her hair back, made sure that she was comfortable and then set next to her. He watched how her chest raised slowly, her breathing even and calm. No bad dreams seemed to trouble her this time and Robin was utterly grateful for that. She seemed peaceful.

He threw his gaze over her sleeping form thinking once again how beautiful she was. How her long dark her fell in soft waves, how her lips, how her soft lips had felt on his, how her dark whiskey colored eyes had lighted up afterwards. The little smile she had given him, the little smile which had made her look so young. With these thoughts on his mind Robin too drifted to sleep.

Regina was dreaming again and again she was standing at the field where the wedding had been. Where she had killed the groom, crushed his heart with a smile on her face and stabbing pain in her heart. She had this dream before and her heart clenched at the thought what she knew was coming next. But then the scene changed and what happened then made a tear falling down her cheek.

_Regina was standing in that field and had been surrounded by angry hateful people just seconds ago and now she was alone. Confused she looked around, what was happening? Then she suddenly heart a voice, she knew that voice. It was low and kind and before she could match it to Robin he was standing in front of her. “Hi milady where were you I’ve been looking for you? We going to be late,” Robin told her gently stroking her hair back her ear._

_“ Late to what?” Regina asked looking at him questioning. “Roland’s birthday of course he wouldn’t start without his mother you know that Regina,” Robin replied with a loving smirk pulling Regina closer. As Regina was about to ask what that had to do with her Robin crashed his lips onto hers and like the first time it made her heart flutter. The kiss took longer than their other one but just as caring and affectionate. “Come on milady we can’t be late,” Robin said while grabbing her hand and pulling her with him._

_Before Regina could say anything else they reached the camp side. There was a bonfire and the all the Merry Men were sitting around it looking at her as she had reached them. But this time they kindly smiled at her, no hate, no disgust only soft smiles. Regina got more and more confused and then a little body crashed into her. As she looked down Roland looked up at her grinning happily:” Mama where have you been? I want to eat cake, come one it with raspberries.”_

_As Robin had done before Roland pulled her with him to his birthday cake, babbling all the way. Regina couldn’t say a thing her throat to thigh to speak. He had called her Mama but why? When they reached the place where the cake stood, Little John handed Regina a knife over, smirking. “I don’t understand why…?” Regina stammered trying to make sense of the situation as Robin slid his arms gently around her from behind kissing her hair softly.” Roland wants you to cut the cake my love, the first piece it the best and always has to be cut by a person who the birthday child loves much. Only then Roland will eat the piece,” Robin whispered into her ear._

_To perplex with the whole situation Regina did as told and cut a piece of the cake, put the knife down and handed it to Roland who beamed at her. He took the cake then looked thoughtfully for a moment and then said seriously:” The first piece is the most special one Papa and I want Mama to have it.”_

_“That’s very nice of you my boy but it is your birthday, your special day, sure you want the first one?” Robin asked his son smiling proudly at him. Roland shook his head and said:” Not this year Papa this year I want Mama and my little sister to have it.” As the child was saying those words he carefully put his tiny hands on Regina’s belly and grinned at her. “Alright my boy then give it to our girls,” Robin said as he was putting on of his hand on Regina’s belly too._

_Regina went rigid as she felt their hands on their stomach, what was happening? Nothing made sense but Regina knew one thing. She had never felt happier than in that moment. She felt safe and loved. She felt home._

_But before she could say or do anything Robin, Roland and the Merry Men were gone and she was alone again.” Hallo Robin, Roland where are you?” Regina asked slowly getting panicked. She looked around, her breathing getting heavier and faster._

_Where were they what happened to them, she needed to find them, she couldn’t lose them too. “Robin, Roland where are you?” Regina said again but shouting it this time, as loud as she could._

_She could feel tears gathering in her eyes as suddenly a voice spoke up, a voice she knew all too well:” They will be back soon Regina don’t worry. But there is somebody who wants to see you first,” Snow White said with beaming smile. Regina wheeled around looking at her step-daughter feeling hate flowing through her veins, hot and burning hatred and anger._

_She lost what she loved and once again it was of course Snow’s fault:” You, this all your fault. AGAIN. Haven’t you ruined my life enough?” Regina screamed at her closing the distance between them a fireball in her hand but before she could throw it Snow grabbed at her hand still smiling but now it had a sad touch._

_“They are alright Regina no one is going to take them away, no one is going to take your happiness away. No one but you.”_

_”What do you mean by that?” Regina asked her still shaking from anger and fear._

_”No one is standing in the way of your happiness but yourself Regina,” another voice said. Regina again turned around to see her mother coming at her, smiling wildly and almost genuine. “Mother what…?” Regina started but then she felt a hand on her shoulder, warm and comforting._

_She inhaled sharply as she looked at Daniel, his eyes soft and loving. “Daniel what is happening, I don’t understand…?” Regina stuttered, tears now falling down her cheeks. Daniel gently wiped away one of her tears and then said with a smile:” Love again Regina.”_

It was already quite late in the morning, almost lunch time but Robin had decided to let the Queen sleep in late, she seemingly needed the rest. He had shaken her, trying to wake her for breakfast twice but she only had grunted in her sleep and had turned around.

She had seemed content so Robin had let sleep but now it really was time and he needed to get some food into her. He had used the last few hours to finish his son’s birthday present, his own bow and arrow. It was a small one and it had taken a lot of work. He hoped his son would like it after the event in the morning even more so.

Somehow animals had gotten to their food supplies and had eaten everything they would need to make a cake. Roland loved his cake and would be rather disappointed but there was no way to get everything they needed in such a short noticed. He had to think about something else but since he still hadn’t come up with something he would put off the thought for later.

So he walked to the tent, carrying a plate with food which those damn squirrels hadn’t eaten. When he reached the Queen he was about to kick himself, he had though she didn’t had any bad dreams but the tear traces one her cheeks told another story.

So he once again shook her gently and this time she responded immediately. Her dark eyes popped open but instead of fear or anger he saw something else. Sure there was pain (there always seemed to be pain no matter if Regina seemed happy or content or joyful, pain was always in her beautiful eyes) but it was the other emotion which made Robin inhale sharply. Because it was something resembling hope. It was gone just seconds later but it had been there. Robin was sure.

“Hello milady how did you sleep?” Robin asked concerned. Still caught up in her dream Regina had to push back tears as the first thing she saw opening her eyes was Robin’s face and his kind blue eyes, looking worried down at her. “Fine thank you,” Regina answered her voice still tight. Her dream had rattled her quite a bit but years as Queen and as Cora’s daughter had taught her how to wear a good face no matter how it looked inside.

Robin raised his brows seemingly surprised at her kind answer. But Regina couldn’t take that into consideration now so she only took the food Robin was holding, mumbled “Thank you, you can go now” and started to eat in silence. Too much was on her mind right now and Robin’s presence was only making things more complicated.

The dream had been, well wonderful to be honest. But it had only been a dream, a foolish stupid wishful thinking about something that was never going to happen. She and Robin never would be together (but they seemed so happy?) Roland would never call her Mama (but he already seemed quite fond of her right?) and they definitely would never be a family, especially not with one child of her own, she made sure of that years ago.

Still it had been wonderful and Regina’s heart hurt, her entire body, her soul hurt at the thought that it would never be true. It couldn’t right? She saw Snow’s face in front of her smiling at her and just the thought of the girl made her blood boil but it also warmed a part of her shattered soul (not that she ever would admit that)

Daniel’s words echoed in her head “Love again Regina” Could it really be that simple, could she actually be happy again? “Regina are you sure that you are alright?” Robin’s concerned voice ripped Regina out of her debate with herself and she looked up surprisingly, she had forgotten that he was still here.

“Yes sure I’m fine why are you asking?” Regina replied playing with her hair nervously (and scold herself the same time for it hearing her mother “A Queen doesn’t play with her hair it shows insecurity) “Because you just looked like you were very far away. What’s on your mind milady? Did you have a nightmare again?” Robin asked and sounded so damn genuine saying it.

He always seemed genuinely worried about her, always seemed to want to ease her pain. His blue eyes looked at her and for a moment again they were caught up in each other so Regina quickly spoke up:” No I did not I’m fine. But I need to send a message to my royal court let them know about my arrival tomorrow and I might need something new to wear thief, that’s all, “ Regina told Robin with smile. A smile which didn’t reach her eyes.

Robin looked at her for a moment longer still worried but finally nodded telling her he would make sure she would get everything she needed and then he left. Regna sighted relieved. What the hell was she supposed to do? She wanted to leave, run away from everything but then dream (and Robin’s damn hope speeches) had awoken something in her she hadn’t felt in quite some time. Hope. Hope of a better life, a life full of love, joy and laughter.

Robin was outside and bloody confused. What was going on? Regina seemed off and it concerned him. He decided that the best thing would probably be to get her the things she wanted.

It wouldn’t be a problem he had already searched for something for her to wear and had found an old dress from Marian. It wasn’t what Regina was used to but it would do. Also thinking she might want to send a message to her court at the castle he had that prepared that too so he only fetched those things and returned to her.

He knew that the Queen probably liked to have a bath at some point so he would offer her that too (with only pure intensions of course he was a gentleman after all). As Robin entered the tent again Regina jumped and Robin apologized in instant:” I’m sorry milady I did not mean to startle you I just have some fresh clothes here for you to wear. I know it’s not what you are used to but it should do. Also I’ve got you paper to write and an offer.”

“Thank you Robin, “Regina replied taking the dress without another comment (that was strange right, for a Queen who was about to wear old dresses instead of jewels and silk?) “What offer?” Regina continued, studying the dress. “I thought you might want to take a bath milady?” Robin answered and at her concerned frown he immediately continued:” I’ll promise I won’t look Regina but I thought you might like to freshen yourself up after days in that tent?”

Like usual she seemed to have some debate with herself, than she nodded and said with a shy smile:” That would be nice thank you.” Robin nodded and held out his hand which she took. He carefully let her through the camp, passing his men who thankfully didn’t say anything their expressions blank.

Regina on the other looked as regal as it was possible in her state (she still looked impressive, beautiful and intimating)

A few minutes later they reached the river at a place Robin knew the water was shallow and Regina in no danger to drown. He asked her if she needed help to undress but she shook the head and Robin hoped that she wouldn’t overexert herself.

“I’ll wait on that rock over there if you need help just shout alight milady?” Regina only nodded at his question and carefully walked towards the water, sat down and waited for him to leave her alone. Robin was a bit worried leaving her by herself but he knew he had to respect her wishes so he threw one last concerned glance at her and walked to the rock.

Regina took off her dress, a heavy gown and for a moment she lost balance almost shouting for Robin but she could steady herself again and then she was in the water. It wasn’t high but it felt wonderful. Regina sighted content as she started to carefully wash herself, not to get her her wound and the bandaged wet. Even if she couldn’t too deep in and have the kind of bath she lingering after it felt like heaven. Being out there not in the tent anymore and washing everything away.

As she was enjoying the water and the silence a thought suddenly hit her. Roland’s birthday was tomorrow and she didn’t have a gift. But what should she give the special little boy? Regina stroke through her own hair trying to think of a nice present as something caught her attention.

Right next to the river were berries, all kind of them and remembering how much Roland loved those Regina came a thought. She could bake a cake for him. Like the one in her dream.

Sure the Robin and his men had some kind of cake but they were likely never as good in baking as she was. Well and she hadn’t much of an option since she wasn’t allowed to use magic and for a cake she would only need a little bit, practically nothing. Yes that was a good idea, Regina thought with a satisfied smile. She would get them in the morning (summoning things when she knew where exactly they were as an easy task for a witch) and make a birthday cake for the boy.

Happy that she knew what to give to Roland Regina made her way out of the water to get her new clothes but she soon had to realize that undressing herself and bathing by herself took more strength than she had. She tried to put on but as made a move everything started to spin. After a few unsuccessful tries Regina had to admit she needed help.

But help meant calling for Robin and not that Regina was somebody who usually accepted help easily after her dream she really didn’t want Robin to see her naked (again) and help her get dressed (again) but as she clearly had no choice she sighted and yelled: “Robin can you come please?”

Regina hadn’t been the only one thinking about Roland’s birthday, Robin also tried to figure out how he should get a cake for his boy, that damn squirrels, as he heard Regina yell for him. He stood up as fast as he could and walked towards her. Robin saw her sitting on the ground, wet and her new dress clutching to her. But what made Robin walk faster was the fact that she was quite pale and shivering.

“Yes milady you called what can I do for you?” Robin asked her gently. Regina bit her lip and looked at him, saying nothing at first and then, it wasn’t much more than a whisper:” I need help to get into that dress:” She blushed at those words but Robin only nodded and reached for her. “I won’t look anywhere or touch where I don’t have to Regina” Robin reassured her softly.

To his relief Regina took his hand and Robin started to help get her into that dress. He was very carefully only touching her when necessary (oh it was like magic every time his fingers touched her perfect soft skin) and hurried as he felt how tense she was. He didn’t want to say anything but as he touched her thigh by accident she wasn’t just tense anymore she went rigid so he had the need to assure her once again :” Regina I won’t hurt you I promise.”

As she looked up at him it was like someone hit him in the stomach. For a second there was so much vulnerability and then pain. Oh god Robin hated the person who made this woman flinch at every touch, it made him so angry every time he thought about it that the intensity of the feeling, the need to protect her scared him.

“I know,” Regina replied, it was once again barely more than a whisper but when he looked into her eyes those wonderful dark eyes who always showed so much, he knew she meant it. He saw an amount of trust in them that it almost threw him off.

Regina hadn’t been able to stop herself from flinching as Robin had touched her thigh, memories, terrifying once had crushed onto her. She always had flashbacks but since that damn arrow hit her it only seemed to be getting worse. But Robin had immediately realized what was going on, had let go of her thigh in an instant, reassuring her silently that he would never hurt her and she had believed him, believed his words.

She knew he would never do what Leopold did, what mother did and with a frown she realized that she didn’t just knew him she trusted him. It had been ages since she did, since Daniel there had been no one she ever gave her trust knowing it only would be betrayed at some point. But not with Robin and as they stood there, somewhere in nowhere, she was half naked and vulnerable and despite it she felt safe.

As the dress was again where it was supposed to be Regina threw a little shy smile at Robin who returned it happily.

It was late in the afternoon as Robin and Regina reached the camp again and Robin helped Regina gently back into her bed handing her paper , ink and a feather to write her letter and said goodbye to her with the promise to bring dinner and Roland later so he could say goodnight so her. Regina only nodded but then again there was a small smile almost shy but as usual it made Robin’s heart miss a beat. Especially since her smiles where rare occasion but she has given him two in short amount of time. That was good right? She seemed different in comparison to when he woke her up, less withdrawn. But Robin knew it was too early to hope for the collapse of her walls but is was a step in the right direction. Hopefully.

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people hope everyone is fine. I’m sorry that the update took so long but my grandpa just died and it were a rough couple of days.  
> Thank you so much for still staying with me and I hope you like this chapter. Please review ;)  
> As usual I’m responsible for all mistakes made and I don’t own anything.

 

As soon as Robin had left the tent Regina exhaled deeply. She hadn’t realized that she was holding her breathe but it seemed she was doing that a lot in his present. She also seemingly couldn’t stop her lip from curving into a smile every time they were together. What was it about that damn thief that made her act like a lovestruck fool instead of a graceful Queen? Regina shook her head trying to put Robin out of her mind and focus on the letter she had to write but as soon as the feather touched the paper her thoughts once again drifted away, away to a certain thief with blue eyes and dimples.

It took her almost an hour writing everything down she wanted her people at the castle to know including some instructions (she silently wondered if the castle still stood, she had been absent for quite some time). Not to mention the fact that her mind had wandered off a few times. Robin had occupied it far longer than Regina liked him too. Thinking about him, about them was a dangerous place even more so since she was already dreaming of them and their perfect little family.

Not that that was ever going to happen but it felt nice, too nice for her liking. It was never a wise idea to crave something so badly you clearly would never have. Also a lesson she learnt years ago. Despite her worries, that dream would hold a special place in her heart sure somewhere deep buried but still there. She hated to admit it but she would miss Robin and his little boy terrible if she was to leave tomorrow, going back home. The thought of made Regina shiver.

Her castle never had been her home it had been a prison. At first because of Leopold and now of the memories which trapped her, trapped her inside those old dark stone walls. Regina couldn’t think of one day spending in that place where she had been happy. Every day in that castle had been a struggle, every moment spend there withheld pain and sorrow. It had been a cage since the day she had arrived there many years ago, a pompous and luxury one but nevertheless one and that had never changed.

Regina sighted deeply as she put the finished letter down and looked around in her tent. It was not before her eyes focused on the part of the ground where Robin usually slept that something hit her.

This tent was old, dirty and not really what someone would call comfortable or suitable. Especially not for a Queen used to luxury but Regina knew that she never had felt more home than in this tent. A simple tent and it felt better than every palace ever could. She felt free in here like a burden had lifted from her, letting her finally breathe freely. And when Robin and his little boy were here Regina could almost say that she felt somewhat happy. The pain was less with them just looking at her.

Regina thought about the day Roland had given her the berries how her heart had almost melted at his beaming smile. How her dark heart felt something it hadn’t for a very long time. Not to mention what happened when Robin kissed her. When those soft lips had touched hers it had been like heaven. She had felt like a real person again and for a moment, a short moment all her pain, all her hatred had been forgotten. Just like it had been with Daniel. (God she missed him so much) he had made her feel loved and cherished, safe and home and so did Robin. Which was the reason why she had to leave this place as fast as she could. Alone thinking about it, leaving everything behind made a traitorous stupid tear fall down her cheek.

Robin had given her a few hours to write her letter and give her some space. He had learnt that pushing her, pressuring her was the worst thing he could do if he wanted to win or keep her trust. So he had given her time to settle and was now on his way to her with dinner and a very excited little boy (god his son was already beyond excited for tomorrow it would be a challenge getting him to bed tonight).

As soon as they had entered the tent Robin knew that something was wrong. Regina was caught up in her thoughts and seemed deeply troubled by them. Her beautiful dark eyes were like so often full of pain and a single tear was dropping down her wonderful face. She hadn’t realized yet that she wasn’t alone anymore but before Robin could say her name, calmly and soft of course, not to startle her, his son decided to do the same. Just that his version involved a very loud and enthusiastic:” Hellooo Gina I missed you!”

His son ran to her before Robin could grab him to slow him down but Roland had already reached the Queen (Regina flinched strongly and Robin once again had the urge to punch the person responsible for her jumpiness) with a big grin that then suddenly disappear as he saw her tears. “Gina why are you sad?” Roland asked her with a frown already climbing into her bed to sit next to her.

Robin was about to take his son and give Regina time to compose herself since she really seemed rattled but then a smile appeared on her face, a small one but an honest one:” I’m not sad Roland I was just thinking about someone I miss very much,” Regina told his son stroking through his hair. Robin could tell she wasn’t telling the entire truth but it wasn’t the time to dig deeper so he let it slight only watching his son and Regina.

“Who do you miss?” Roland asked her shifting closer to her. “An old friend, someone I loved very much and who was always there for me, “Regina replied to the little boy her voice slightly trembling. Robin’s heart clenched at Regina’s words knowing that she spoke about Daniel. “I’m sorry that you lost your friend Gina but Papa and I can be your friends now and be there for you. Then you maybe don’t miss your friend so much. And you can be here with Papa and me so we don’t miss Mama that much,” Roland told her with an earnest nod and put his arms out for a hug.

Robin had to swallow hard at his son’s words because his little boy was right. Robin still missed Marian, he always would but the pain had become bearable lately or more specific since a certain Queen had come into his life. The same seemingly applied to Roland too even if Robin knew that the boy didn’t remember his mother there was still a void. Robin saw how more tears gathered in Regina eyes for a moment and he was again about to take his son and leave her in peace but she then pulled Roland in a tight embrace whispering words into his ear which Robin couldn’t make out. He then just stood there and watched the pair, watching how the woman known as the Evil Queen clutched his little boy to her, stroking his hair again gently and comforted him in a way no even he had been capable of.

Then Regina suddenly looked up and their eyes met, big brown ones and light blue ones found each other and it was like something inside Robin clicked. He knew deep down that it would happen, that at some point the fierce passion and tender care he had for Regina would turn into something else, something beyond simple caring.

If later asked when exactly he fell in love with Regina he would point out this moment right now. Regina holding his son in her arms , her long silky hair falling down in soft waves, her dark eyes shining warmly and her a bright just slightly sad smile made his heart flutter in a way he never thought it would after Marian died. He knew it was crazy, it were only a few days but still…he loved her, truly and with all his heart. He loved that fascinating but complicated, loving but angry woman with every fiber of his being and he didn’t want to stay apart from her.

He couldn’t let her go (would never force her to stay never), couldn’t imagine waking up without his Regina. He smiled at the thought because yes he didn’t know how or why but she was _his_ Regina. Now he only had to make her realize that too, preferably before she left and he would have to break into her castle and likely get beheaded for it. But how should he convince a woman who gave the description stubbornness a whole new meaning?

Regina while holding Roland closely was still so touched from the young boy’s words that she at first didn’t realize t mood shift from a certain thief. He had looked friendly but concerned as he had entered the tent now something complete different was in his eyes but Regina wasn’t sure what, she only knew the intensity of it took her breath away.

Whatever it was it seemed Robin had come to some kind of conclusion and that worried Regina a bit if she was honest. Not sure what to make out of it she turned her attention back to Roland, took his tiny hand into hers and said:” Roland I think it’s time for you to go to bed, you have a big day tomorrow.” Roland smiled up at her and once again Regina couldn’t stop herself from beaming at the child. He seemed to debate for a moment but one serious look of his father convinced Roland that now wasn’t the time to argue for a later bed time so he only nodded, gave Regina a kiss on her cheek and left with a “Good night Gina and don’t be late for my birthday party alright?” As Regina nodded reassuring the boy seemed satisfied and then not without asking Robin to say him good night too later Roland left the tent, leaving them alone.

Regina wasn’t sure what was going on she just knew something changed for the outlaw. Maybe he finally realized what he got himself into and couldn’t wait to get rid of her. Despite her doubts Regina deep down knew that his look had meant something different but her battered heart refused to think beyond the fact that some people maybe really didn’t have a hidden agenda and truly liked her (or even more? No that was foolish and likely not true right?)

But before Regina could voice her thoughts and question the thief he only gave her the plate with food and asked if she finished her letter he would make sure it would be sent to the right people and as soon as Regina gave him everything he smiled at her and before Regina could say anything he had followed his son and left the tent. Damn this man was so confusing.

Almost as soon as she had finished her meal Regina’s eyelids got heavy and sleep took her over rather quickly. She didn’t hear Robin come in and slept through till the next morning.

It was just as the sun started to rise when Regina woke up. She slowly sat up and looked around till her eyes fell on Robin’s sleeping form. Good the thief was still deep in dreamland so Regina carefully got up needing a minute to find her balance and breathe through some of the pain which was still lingering but despite it she felt considerably better. At least good enough to make that cake. So she silently walked out of the tent thankfully (and to her surprise) without waking Robin.

It didn’t take her long, a lot of experience and a bit magic and within a short amount of time a perfect delicious looking birthday berry cake was made. Regina put an preservation spell on it to ensure she stayed that way till it was time to cut it , hid it safely and walking back to her tent where she fell into her bed completely exhausted from her task but utterly satisfied. Then her eyes once again closed and she fell into a deep slumber, a little smile still on her face.

As Robin woke up the sun was already shining but the sky was still pink at some parts. So it was early enough to prepare everything for the party even though Robin and his men decided it was best to start with the feast at afternoon hoping to find a solution for the cake problem till then. As Robin got up he slowly walked towards Regina who was still sleeping, watching her chest rise and fall, checking if everything was alright. Well and if he stayed a moment longer than necessary to admire her beauty who was going to blame him?

Most of the day was going on relativity normal if you take a very excited four year old into consideration. Roland of course had been awake shortly after sunrise and was jumping and running around the entire time, Robin had his hands full. Especially since Regina who was still sleeping clearly needed her rest and telling that to a child who was awaiting his birthday party (and a real Queen is coming Papa!!) to be silent was a more difficult task then robbing a bloody castle.

Robin decided to let Regina sleep as long as she needed knowing that there would be enough food at the afternoon so it wouldn’t be a problem if she skipped breakfast and lunch (He was quite sure that she had left the tent early this morning even if he had no clue why) His only concern were his men since he knew of their clear dislike toward the Queen but all of the promised him they would be on their best behavior, for Roland.

Regina was tired and her body was aching maybe early morning bake activities weren’t the best idea after an arrow went through your body but Regina couldn’t bring herself to care as she was woken up by a very excited and loud four year old.” Gina, Gina you need to wake up my birthday starts come I can’t start without you, come,” Roland almost shouted at her as he grabbed her hand trying to pull her out of her bed. “Careful Roland what did I tell you about Regina’s injuries? I know you are excited but be gentle alright my boy?” Robin interfered while standing between her and his son.

Regina’s heart warmed at the happy bright smile of the boy and said while stroking his cheek gently:” Happy birthday Roland,” as soon as Regina had said those words Roland once again jumped next to her and put his arms around her, mumbling “Thank you Gina” “You are very welcome Roland but if you want me to come to your party you need to wait outside so I can get dressed alright? Then you can give me a piece of your birthday cake,” Regina told the little boy with a wink but then Roland’s bright grin disappeared and Regina looked at both boys questioning:” What is it Roland?”

Robin sighed at Regina’s words he couldn’t find a replacement for the cake and even though he put much effort in his son’s party (which the boy was going to love) not having a cake was a big disaster for a four year old. “We don’t have a cake this year milady the squirrels beat us to it,” Robin explained her with a frown. “The squirrels beat you to it?” Regina asked and then at Robin’s nod she laughed and it was as someone hit Robin in the stomach.

It was real laugh, one from heart, true and open and it was beautiful. The way her eyes light up, the sound of it, god she was a picture and for a second Robin forgot that he had disappointed his son at his birthday. But then Regina suddenly became serious again pulled Roland to her (who now had some tears in his eyes) and whispered something into his ear. Robin couldn’t make out what she was saying he only saw how his son smile returned only far brighter than it was before, eagerly nodded and then ran out of the tent not without shouting at his father:” Papa, Regina was faster than you and the squirrels! Hurry I’ll be waiting.”

Then Roland was gone and Robin looked completely perplex at Regina who was only slightly grinning. Then it hit him. She had left the tent in the morning, but how did she know?

“You didn’t…?” Robin asked her with a smile but Regina only replied , still grinning:” That is a surprise Robin you only have to know that I don’t get tricked by little forest animals and now help me get into that dress:” Robin only threw a glare at her (it was more playful than angry) and helped her getting dressed. But to his relief she could do most of it by herself and as they left the tent she was a regal and graceful as a person could be.

Regina was nervous as she and Robin walked to the others. She knew what they thought of her and even though she was used to see hate in the eyes of her people it bothered her now more than usually. Regina realized with a frown that it was important to her what Robin thought of her and a part of her really would like to be a part of a group, a family. Sure it would never happen but still…before Regina could get lost in her thoughts again Roland came running towards her with a loud “Gina you are here!” and threw his arms around her pulling her in a tight hug.

Regina held on to Roland throwing a defensive glare around and to her surprise the rather hard expressions of Robin’s Merry Men had soften at the boy’s clear fondness of her. Despite it she flinched back as Little John (she was quite sure it was his name she remembered finding it rather ridiculous calling a man as tall and chubby as him) approached her. But he stood still a few inches away from her and told her after throwing a uncertain look towards Robin:” Welcome Your Majesty I hope you are feeling better. We did not want to disturb you in your sleep but the little lad refused to have a party without you.”

Regina only nodded at his words trying to push back the so damn similar memories of her dream away (and trying to pretend she wasn’t incredibly touched by the fact that Roland wanted to wait for her) and answered coldly:” I’m fine thank you.” Regina couldn’t stop herself from being tense despite the efforts of the men to be polite. They weren’t friendly but Regina expected more hostility so she was quite alright with simple politeness.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Robin spoke up:” So Roland do you want to open your presents?” Robin’s words were followed by and excided “YESSS Papa please” Regina watched with a smile as the little boy opened all his presents with a big grin, jumped happily up and down at the gift of his father (a bow and arrow of course what else would be a better present for a little child, Regina thought with a roll of her eyes)

Regina withdrew herself more in the background leaving the men helping unwrapping gifts and receiving grateful hugs from Roland as the boy suddenly ran towards her. “Gina I unpacked all my gifts and the last one is always the best one,” Roland told her while looking expectantly up at her. Regina had to chuckle at his puppy eyes, he really was an adorable child. “Of course Roland close your eyes,” Regina told the boy who immediately did what she wanted. Before she waved her hand to make the cake appear she once again looked around anxiously but at Robin’s encouraging nod she summoned the cake.

As soon as the purple smoke disappeared (the men all had inhaled sharply at her display of magic but after a sharp look from Robin hadn’t dared to say something) a perfect cake appeared in Regina’s hands. She had to say she really surpass herself. It was a chocolate cake covered with all kinds of berries and in the middle was the number four made out of raspberries as well as four candles which lighted up with another wave of her hand (god that was enough magic for today she was already feeling dizzy).

“You can open your eyes now Roland,” Regina told the little boy who was almost vibrating from excitement. As the boy laid eyes upon the cake he beamed, his eyes lighted up and looked at the cake full of amazement. ”Papa look Gina made me the best cake in the whole wide world. “

“Yes my boy I can see that now you can blow out the candles and make a wish,” Robin replied his son and as Regina caught his gaze, he looked so fondly at her that her heart once again missed a beat. As soon as Roland blew out all the candles at once Robin asked his son if he had made his wish. “Yes Papa I did but I can’t tell you,” Roland answered and then suddenly looked at Regina and she as well as the thief (and likely everyone around them) realized that whatever he wished for it had something to do with her.

“Gina you need to cut the cake,” Roland broke the silence which was lingering after his words. Regina, surprised for a moment nodded uncertain and grabbed the knife (trying to ignore the shiver and tenseness of the men surrounding them) and cut a slice giving it to Roland and the next thing what was happing made her almost cry. “No this year I don’t want the first piece this year it’s for you Gina,” Roland told her with an earnest nod giving her the cake.

For a moment no one said a word only watching how Regina silently took the piece smiling softly at the boy, trying to keep her armor up. Then suddenly one of the Merry Men spoke up and even before Regina could understand his words she went rigid. She knew the look in his eyes, the blank hatred and disgust and was making herself ready for whatever insult was going to come her way (and even more how she should protect Roland from it)

“Why the hell are we even eating something made by this monster?” Regina looked up and to her surprise waiting to see the same disgust in Robin’s eyes and was stunned at what she saw. Anger, hot boiling anger but not towards her but the man who spoke up, ready to defend her, she realized with a frown.

Even though a part of her couldn’t suppress the happiness that after so many years someone finally would stood up for her, would protect her, would fight for her she didn’t want him too. This was Roland’s big day and she wasn’t going to ruin it especially since the man wasn’t wrong. So she only put her arm on Robin’s and squeezed, throwing him a warning as well as an calming glance and whispered so only the outlaw could hear it:” It’s fine Robin please.”

At the same time she bent down so she at eye level with Roland who looked confused not understanding what was happing:” Roland I’m really happy you like my present but I’m very tired and need a break. Maybe you can visit me later and show me all your presents alright?” Regina thought for a moment Roland would cry but with her promise to let him show her later all his gifts she seemed to calm him down. Roland nodded and once again threw his arms around her and whispered “Till later Gina” and then released her.

Regina tried to get up but was about to lose balance as Robin gladly caught her and helped her up. As she stood again as gracefully as she could she looked around once again, head help up and the mask firmly in place again:” I hope you enjoy the rest of the party.” With this words she turned around and walked back towards the tent breathing deeply in and out because a rather big part of her would like do nothing more than go back and crush the heart of that peasant to ash , make him whimper in pain but she couldn’t , not in front of Roland , not at his birthday. So she kept walking till an arm grabbed her and she span around ready to cut off the arm of the person who dared to touch her.

But as she turned around it was Robin who truly looked miserable but she didn’t have time for him. Hurt and anger ran through her and she wasn’t sure if she could control herself so she only gave him a tight smile and said:” It is fine Robin, go back to your son.” With those words she freed her arm and went to her tent leaving Robin behind.

Oh god he would kill Arthur, how the hell could he say that. Robin wasn’t sure if he had ever been that angry, he took a couple of deep breathes to stop himself to walk over to him and punch him right in the face. That bloody idiot.

As Robin joined them back at the party Arthur was thankfully gone and the archer put on a good face for his son. The party went on without Regina and Robin had to admit he missed her terribly. He had looked forward to spend the afternoon with her and his son and now?

The day was slowly going to an end the sky darkened as Robin went to the edge of the camp to calm down a little playing with the gold coin he had stolen at his first job( it was kind of a talisman now) as he heard a strange noise. He walked a couple of feet as something caught his eye. A bandit and not the annoying competition kind.

No this one was armed like he wanted to go to war and Robin lived out in the woods long enough to know the danger that came with those kind of people. That man likely had seen him playing with the coin or them celebrating and liked to have a piece of the cake. But not with Robin Hood. Still before Robin could do anything the man pulled his knife out and attacked.

 

Regina was in her tent trying to kill time and ignoring the laughter that came from outside. It had been some time since she had left the party and she felt lonely. Then she suddenly heard a scream, then crying and out of the blue she felt a sharp pain in her heart. Then Roland came in to her tent tears streaming down his face throwing himself at her. “Shh Roland honey everything is alright. Roland what happened?” Regina tried to comfort the boy while trying to figure out what had happened (she knew it had something to do with Robin, she somehow just knew it):” Papa got hurt, there is so much blood. Gina I don’t want to lose my Papa too,” Roland sobbed in her arms and Regina felt how everything went numb.

Robin was hurt? That couldn’t be he was a strong man, he couldn’t be hurt, he couldn’t die, he just couldn’t…. No Regina wouldn’t let it happen, not again.

So she stood up, sat Roland on her bed and looked into his eyes:” Roland honey I need you to stay here and I’m going to help your Papa, but you need to stay here do you understand?” The boy seemed to debate a moment, clutching at her but then nodded and Regina kissed the top of his head, telling him that everything would be fine (god she wanted to believe it so badly, she couldn’t lose him) and stood up and ran out of the tent. But not before putting a protection spell around the tent (she always had problems with that kind of magic but today it was easy only thinking of protecting Roland made the shield stronger than she ever could manage before)

She ran towards the source of the screams and it was like the world stood still as she was seeing Robin lying on the ground, blood everywhere. “What happened?” Regina asked breathless and to her surprise Little John answered her: “Robin was attacked by a bandit. He could fight him off but not without getting injured badly himself.” Regina swallowed she knew what that much blood meant. It meant no matter how hard Tuck tried to stop it Robin would die.

That was when Regina knew what she had to do. She pushed everyone out of her way and sank next to Robin pushing Tuck’s hand away:” Let me.” He didn’t move so Regina looked him straight into the eyes:” I know you don’t trust me or my magic but he is dying and if you don’t want Roland to grow up without a father you let me heal him. Please Tuck.”

Regina didn’t break the eye contact and then Tuck slowly nodded then asking her:” Are you sure Your Majesty?” That was when Regina understood that Tuck knew the price of she was going to do. Healing magic needed much energy and besides the fact that is was never her strong suit in her condition it would likely kill her.

But she only nodded and told him:” Yes I am. Robin’s life is far more worth than mine.” Tuck withdrew himself at her words, threw a warning glare at the other men and made space for Regina. Before Regina could begin to heal another hand grabbed hers, Robin’s. “Don’t Regina,” he whispered his eyes met hers. “I won’t hurt you Robin I’m here to help you. You can trust me” Regina reassured him hurt that he would think she would hurt him:” I trust you but Tuck said no magic you aren’t strong enough, you are...” Before he could finish his sentence (he was dying and was still thinking about her health, Regina barely could fight back the tears anymore) his eyes dropped shut. “Robin, Robin! Don’t you dare die.”

Regina took a deep breath and held her hand above Robin’s wounds and she couldn’t explain what then happened. Instead of fighting for every bit of magic everything came freely, energy practically burst out of her. Her magic wasn’t purple anymore it was white, white as snow. Memories of them flowed through her, every moment they shared and the urge to save him took over everything. It was painful sure but it also was warm, safe, right.

Regina could watch how all the wounds closed up, the blood disappeared and Robin’s breathing returned to being even and strong. Within minutes all injures were gone. Every part of her body hurt and burned but not only Robin was still here, so was she.

As he opened his eyes and soft blue ones met scared dark ones something inside Regina clicked. Both of them didn’t realize that the men after taking another look at her leader to make sure he wasn’t going to die any moment had left them, some to check on Roland and the rest were send away by Tuck had left. Without realizing that they were alone they just starred at each other and Robin was the first one who broke the silence:” Hello milady,” his voice still hoarse and raspy. Regina now couldn’t stop tears falling down from her cheeks: “You idiot” “Well I wanted to ask you if you were alright but I think you clearly are,” Robin told her with a tired grin, sitting up carefully.

That was it when Regina lost it. She had almost lost him, he had almost died in her arms. “Regina are you alrig…,” but before Robin could finish his sentence Regina’s lips crushed onto his. This time the kiss wasn’t soft or gentle. This time it was desperate and full of passion. He nearly died god damnit. Regina pressed her lips onto his, tongues met and then they kiss. Kissed like she had never before .Fiercely and breathtaking, wanting and loving. She felt Robin’s hand tangled into her hair pulling her closer, deepening the kiss and Regina responded with wrapping her arms around him. Both of them forgot everything around them because nothing else mattered. Robin was alive she wasn’t too late this time.

As they parted , forehead on forehead, both were heavy breathing as Robin lifted up her chin and looked into her eyes with such an intensity that Regina forgot to breath for a moment and then whispered :”Stay”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys hope everyone had a great week!! Thank you so much for your lovely comments and for your condolences it meant a lot to me!!  
> So this chapter our Queen and thief finally realize what the mean to each other and a few big changes are about to be made. I hope you’ll like it and please review!  
> I’m responsible for all mistakes made and don’t own anything.  
> PS: if you have questions or want to chat me about this story, you having ideas or anything I can be found on Twitter (SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr(onceuponahappytime)

Robin never had been so scared and excited at the same time. Scared as he felt the life leaving him (not for himself he didn’t fear death but for his son... and the lost chance to get to know a certain Queen).

But everything had been forgotten as Regina had crushed her lips onto his. When her soft red lips met his everything else had been chased away only leaving her. Her and the taste, her sweet taste, the smell of apple and vanilla (she was lying in a tent injured why the bloody hell did she still smell that amazing?). When he tucked his hand into her wonderful silky dark hair pulling her closer inhaling every bit of her, enjoying every moment this stunning creature allowed him to hold her, kiss her, be with her.

Maybe now after he escaped death at the last second even more but feeling her, touching her was all that mattered now. As Robin deepened the kiss he knew he couldn’t let her go not without a fight at least.

Technically he was the thief but somehow Regina managed to steal his heart and right now all he cared about was to be with her( and his son of course but that was something that wasn’t even out for debate) having a life with her and he didn’t care who she was or what happened in the past.

Bloody hell he didn’t even care if he had to live in a damn castle as long as he could be with that gorgeous lovely woman who was at the moment in his arms kissing him fiercely. So he only whispered :” Stay” hoping that she would agree, hoping that she wouldn’t ran , hoping that she felt the same

Robin felt how Regina withdrew herself of his hold after his words but he grabbed her hands holding them not letting go of her, watching how a single tear fell down her cheek. “I can’t,” Regina whispered her voice barely above a whisper but she didn’t let go of his hand which had to be good sign right?

“Why?” Robin asked her softly not to push her. “I’m the Queen I can’t just leave and Snow … I can’t let her get away with it.” Regina replied turning her head away not looking into Robin’s eyes. What the hell really happened with Snow White? But before Robin could ask his question his boy ran towards them throwing himself at him, crying.

Robin took his son as well as Regina in a tight embrace, holding the people who meant most to him close. To his relieve Regina let the group hug simply happen even let him and Roland pull her in tighter and everybody slowly calmed down. “Shh Roland everything is fine, shh my boy,” Robin whispered into his son ear and after a few sobs Roland seemed to realize that his father as well as his Regina were fine and his tears stopped.

“What about we get you to bed big boy it has been an exhausting day,” Little John’s voice came from behind them and as soon (and not a second before) Roland could hug his father and Regina again almost holding them so firmly that breathing got a challenge (where the hell did a four year old get so much strength?) and letting Regina kiss him goodnight, he went with Little John leaving them once again alone.

Robin held out his hand to help Regina up who seemed so exhausted that the archer wasn’t sure if her legs would hold her so he like he did before put one arm around her waist and carefully led her to her tent, not saying a word, only focusing on the way. His men were gone and had taken care of everything so Robin could take care of Regina with a good conscience.

Regina was confused. Her heart, her feelings were a mess and she felt dizzy. Everything hurt, her body ready to give up only held up by Robin’s strong arms. Robin, god she had almost lost him almost lost everything again. The way she had kissed him, she had been desperate and scared out of her mind, only wanting to hold him close, feel him, knowing that he was alright.

She hadn’t known how to answer his question, still didn’t. How could she stay here, leaving everything behind? Simply, she couldn’t. She had responsibilities, a crown to wear, a throne to sit in. It wasn’t that Regina actually cared much about those things never had but it still was _her_ kingdom.

But here you would have a home, a family, something you always wanted, a little voice in her head whispered tempting. But who would rule in her absence? Snow White of course would be the first name that came to mind but that would only happen over Regina’s dead body. Maybe Robin would come with her? No she couldn’t ask him to leave everything behind, leaving everything for someone like her.

He was a good man he deserved better. Or maybe this was all a big mistake, he had nearly died, their emotions had been out of control, surely he would see things, would see them differently as soon as he calmed down. Would realize that he was about to make a mistake, loving her always ended in pain for everyone involved, he wouldn’t… still deep in thoughts Regina startled as Robin gently let her down on her bed kneeling next to her and mumbling, his hands once again reaching for hers:” A penny for your thoughts milady?”

She seemed troubled, closing herself already up again. Gone was the Regina who kissed the breath out of his lungs, gone was the open and vulnerable woman, her mask again firmly in place. Robin gently lifts his fingers into her hair and smoothed it behind her ear, waiting patiently for her answer.

It took quite some time till she finally did, her voice tight with tears she so desperately fought from falling:” I can’t stay Robin I have responsibilities I can’t just leave and live in the woods. I’m a Queen.” “Do you want to return to your castle?” Robin asked her thoughtfully curious what her reason would be to go back to life she so clearly hated.

“I may not be liked by my people but they are still _my_ people and I worked hard to make the kingdom what it is now,” Regina told him looking down. “Then Roland and I come with you, “Robin said his voice firm. He knew it was crazy but to be honest he didn’t care.

He didn’t care that he technically hated royals, hated everything that came with it but for Regina, for this stunning woman he would go. He would leave the Merry Men behind and take his little boy and would go with her. Because in the end it didn’t mattered to him where they would be as long they would be together.

Her head hoicked at his words: “What? You can’t be serious Robin. You can’t just leave everything behind, your men, your life and you would hate living in a palace. It would be a cage for you as well it was for me, you wouldn’t be able to be happy…” Before she could keep talking Robin cut her off, holding her hands tighter:” I’ll determine what makes me happy and what not Regina thank you very much. Yeah you are right that isn’t the kind of life I would choose for myself but quite frankly I don’t care. All I want is to be with you and Roland and if that means I have to live in a palace then I’m more than happy to do so.”

Robin knew that although his words had been sincere that she didn’t believe him. “Robin you don’t understand I’m not some lovable popular royal I’m the Evil Queen. My people hate me, they fear me and you will suffer the same fate. They will hate you for simply the fact that you are with me. I told you I destroy everything I touch so Robin please just forget about the kiss.”

Robin swallowed at her words, words so full of self-loathing that his heart broke for her once again. “I don’t care what other people think of me Regina and there is also nothing I can do about. But what I can do something about it showing people who you really are. The woman behind the Evil Queen. The woman who conquered my heart and the one of my son’s within days. Let me show them the real Regina,” Robin insisted looking deep into Regina’s eyes.

That was when he saw her eyes harden and he knew what was coming now. Regina hadn’t just put the mask back she also put on her armor up again, her walls rising. “What makes you so sure you know the real Regina, what makes you sure that the Evil Queen isn’t who I truly am?” Her voice was a low growl but Robin wasn’t thrown off, not the slightest.

He only came closer and cupped her jaw gently and told her softly:” Because milady you were willing to die to save my life only moments earlier, because you made my son a birthday cake remembering his favorite berries despite being still sick, because as Arthur insulted you , you just walked away. Shall I go on?” Robin didn’t wait for her response only pressing his lips onto her.

He was out of his mind that was the only logical explanation that he was ready to throw his life away for her. But not matter how hard she tried to push him away he didn’t let go. Not even when she put on her best Evil Queen mask he backed off, only reassuring her that he believed in her goodness, only kissing her softly. As they parted Regina couldn’t stop tears from falling now her voice trembling as she whispered:” You are a good man Robin you deserve better than me. I’m the Evil Queen”

Regina felt Robin’s hands leaving hers (did he finally understand what big mistake he was about to make?) and Regina had to suppress a sob at the loss of contact. But then she felt his fingers coasting up and down her back, soothing, and caring. “Regina you are far more than just her. You are the most stunning woman I’ve ever met. You are smart and witty, you are beautiful and kind, brave and strong, so strong. You went through much and lost part of yourself in order to survive but you did. You can be whoever you want it, is your choice and I would love to help you. ”Robin looked at her, those blue eyes so full of care and affection.

“Do you want to be the Evil Queen?” Robin suddenly asked her throwing her off for a moment. Did she? Did she want to stay that woman, that lonely hateful person who had to leave a birthday party of a four year old because everyone feared her? Regina thought back at the many days where she looked in the mirror hating her reflection so much that more than one mirror was shattered into pieces. So no, she didn’t want to be that person anymore but the real question was, could she be something else? She somehow doubted it.

So she only whispered:” No I don’t but she is all I am.” Robin once again reached for her hand and squeezed it gently but firmly. “Regina I need you to listen to me very carefully alright? You are far more than her. I saw your goodness. I saw who you are deep down, who you want to be. I saw it and so did Roland. You say I am a good person and that you trust me so please trust me when I am telling you that it isn’t too late for you, by far not.

“How do you know that, “Regina asked trying to find the lie in his eyes. She couldn’t find it. “Because it’s never too late for those people who still can find love and compassion in their hearts and you milady might have the most resilient heart I have ever known. Evil isn’t born, it’s made and so is good.”

Regina almost forgot to breath at his words, she had heard those exact words about hundred times, were so desperate to believe them. That she wasn’t just evil that she might could be good and now the man who she was about to lose her heart to, telling her those exact same words with an earnestness that left her somewhat hopeful. Maybe he was right, maybe she could be different.

“Why do you fight so much for me, what do you get out of it?” Regina asked, still not able to believe that she really was having this conversation.

“Because and Regina please do not freak out or take this wrong alright?” Robin told her not leaving her eyes once. Regina held her breath waiting for whatever reason the thief had, for whatever big plan he likely was going to reveal to her. The worst scenarios went through Regina’s head. Was he working for Rumple? Someone else, an enemy trying to find a way to destroy her?

“I am falling in love with you Regina.” Regina almost fell from her bed at his words. Those words she hadn’t heard in years, since Daniel. Well at least not from someone who really meant it. Regina starred at him trying to find out if he was setting her up but all she could see was honesty and love. True and honest love in those blue eyes.

“Regina if you don’t want me to come with you because you don’t feel the same for me than I do for you than it’s alright. But if you don’t want to because you think you don’t deserve to be loved or that you are not worthy of me than please forget it. Give us a chance, give yourself a chance.” Regina searched once again for Robin’s eyes at his words, seeing them looking at her, hopeful, kind and loving. This stupid, optimistic and oh so kind fool making her question everything. His words, his warm and honest words wrapping around her soul, soothing the pain that was suffocating her for years. She wanted, oh god how much did she wanted him , be with him, have him be _hers._

Regina didn’t know if it were his words, his honest blue eyes or if she simply was too exhausted but she found herself nodding and whispering:” Are you sure you want to come with me Robin?”

Robin didn’t know exactly what was it what convinced her in the end but as she looked at him again something had changed. The mask was gone and somehow he knew he got through to her. She then asked the magical question, the question Robin didn’t even have to think about:” Yes milady if you want this too Roland and I would love to join you in your castle. We would love to show the word the true Regina.” Robin couldn’t believe that she finally was considering his words, his offer.

He also didn’t know why he was so sure that he was doing the right thing but he just knew that he was making the right decision. Regina now clearly had to fight to keep it together so Robin said her name softly and smiled at her:” Is that a yes Regina?” Robin watched her hopefully , she seemingly debating for a moment and then:” And you won’t leave me? “Sounding so young and vulnerable that Robin’s heart clenched painfully.

“I promise you as long you will have me I will never leave your side. I vow that I will stand behind you what ever gets thrown in our way.” He told her not breaking eye contact for a second. She looked unsure for a moment than her lips curved slightly as she said:” Well then thief yes, it is a yes.”

Robin’s little smile now turned into a full watt one as he kissed her again gently and then pulling her in a tight embrace.

Which was all it took for Regina to finally break down. Tears were now streaming freely down her face, sobbing in his arms. Her entire body was shaken by her tears and all Robin did was holding her close, telling her over and over again that he was here and that he wouldn’t leave her. As her sobs became stronger Robin gently pulled her on the bed so she was lying and then placed himself next to her pulling her back into his embrace.

Regina didn’t know how long they were lying like this, she sobbing in his arms, he trying to sooth her. All she knew was that she never felt safer in her life than right now. In the arms of a man she only knew for a few days but it wasn’t like her heart was behaving rational. Not that his was either. He told her he was falling in love with her and she was about to do the same. Robin was a kind and smart man, funny and snarky, not afraid to stand up to her (she really liked that it was refreshing) in a lot of ways he was like Daniel just that he wasn’t.

He despite having a lot in common with her first true love he was different. Good but not pure, hopeful but not naïve. She was about to fall asleep as he spoke up. Asking her a question that made her stomach twist.” What really happened between you and Snow White?”

Robin regretted his question as soon as he had asked it, feeling her tensing next to him. Still if he was to leave his entire life behind him he needed to know her, everything about her. Well at least so much she was willing to give him, to share with him. “Whatever it was and whatever you feel Regina I’m sticking to my promise. I won’t leave you and like you know I also don’t scare easily.” Robin quickly reassured her.

Then he waited and waited and as he thought she wouldn’t answer him at all she said:” I was riding with Daniel as I heard a girl screaming. Her horse had gone wild and she was in danger to be thrown by it. So I chased after her and luckily could catch up and get her before she could hurt herself. She didn’t have a scratch. I was later told that I didn’t just save any girl but the princess herself and that her father, the King wanted to speak to me.” She had been silent for so long as he had asked her but now the words were almost pouring out of her like she was trying to get it out as fast as she could, as if would change anything.

“He told me how grateful he was for me saving his precious daughter and then he kneeled and asked if I want to marry him. I didn’t want to I was in love with Daniel and Leopold was about three times my age so...” Robin frowned at her words, three times? Sure he knew that she had to be younger than the King but not that much younger? :” How old were you when you got married?” As Regina answered her voice was completely emotionless:” The wedding was a few weeks after my 18th birthday.”

Robin felt sick, he knew royals tented to marry early but barely 18? The King had to be older than her own father at this point. “Like I said I didn’t want to but my mother accepted on my behalf. It was all she ever wanted, me to be Queen and now it would come true. I know there was just one way, Daniel and I had to run away. So I went to the stables where he asked me too if I wanted to marry him. Of course I said yes. We were so caught up in each other that we didn’t realize that Snow had heard our entire conversation. “

Regina turned silent for a moment smirking sadly then: ”The funny thing was the only reason why she had been at the stables was because I told her the only way to beat her fear of horse was to get into the saddle as soon as possible. She listened to me. She caught us but after I explained to her what Daniel meant to me she seemingly understood everything. Well I thought she did. Snow promised me that she would keep my secret but the next day she already had told it my mother. Daniel died the same night in my arms and I was to wed Snow’s father. My life was over after that night.”

Robin was still rubbing soothing circles on her arms, pressing light kissed on her head almost feeling her pain himself. Even more because he understood. Had she told him her story a few days earlier he would had trouble to understand how Snow White got the blame. Her mother had been the one here to blame. Not the little girl who couldn’t keep a secret, likely not even knew what her words lead to. But he had seen Regina’s desperate need to be loved by her mother, making her proud.

It simply had been easier to blame Snow than her mother but if Regina wanted to move on she had to let go, to forgive.

“Regina she was a little girl and,” Regina was about to stop Robin already trying to get out of his hold, dark eyes looking hurt. “Regina listen, please. Daniel’s death wasn’t Snow’s fault it was your mother’s and I know accepting this hurts. And I’m quite sure Snow’s spoiled behavior didn’t really help her case but you need to let go. “Regina was still struggling against him as she whispered:” I can’t. ““Of course you can. It might not be easy or pleasant but it is the only way to move on. You need to forgive Snow and you need to forgive yourself. What do you think Daniel would want you to do?” Robin knew that he was playing a bit unfair here but he needed her to understand. Forgiveness was the key for her to finally be happy.

“He would want me to be happy,” Regina whispered new tears falling down her cheeks. “Yes he would have because that is what you deserve. But to be happy you need to forgive especially since there is still a part of you who cares deeply about Snow White.” He knew he was taking a risk with that statement but he also knew that he was right.

“What the hell are you talking about thief? I hate Snow White with every fiber of my being,” Regina hissed, eyes dangerously blank. “You may be able to fool others milady but we both knew that you are incredible powerful and smart and still you haven’t caught Snow White? A girl grown up a princess, not experienced in surviving or hiding? Do you really want me to believe that you just weren’t capable of catching her because she outsmarted you?

Regina became silent at his words, seemingly considering his words. Robin knew that there was a time to provoke her, challenge her but it was enough for tonight. “Think about my words milady,” Robin gently kissed her temple again, throwing the blanket over them: “But now it’s time to sleep a bit, today was exhausting and Roland will be very excited and loud when he finally can show you his presents,” with this words Robin pulled her closer to him waiting a second so she could free herself of his grip if she wanted to ( he knew she was angry and confused and he didn’t want to pressure her into anything) but she only snuggeled closer to him. For a moment the laid there next to each other silently as Regina spoke up her voice sounding scared and uncertain:” Will you leave me if I can’t forgive her?”

Robin turned his head so he could see her eyes and make sure he she understood that he meant every word he was about to say:” Look at me Regina,” he waited till her dark eyes met his and then told her:” I promised you I will never leave you unless you tell me to. I don’t want you to forgive Snow because of me I want it because of you. Letting go of your past will open the door to a future, maybe even one with Snow at your side. I don’t say is has to be immediately but maybe you think about it, alright?”

“I can do that,” Regina whispered softly tears still gathering in her eyes. “That’s all I ask for milady. And now sleep,” with this words he pressed another kiss on her temple, pulling her towards him.

Neither of them had slept that well in a very long time as they did now. Being in each other arms, hearing each other’s heartbeat (they were alive, they were fine) and knowing that this maybe was the beginning of a second chance. A second chance of being in love, having a partner and leaving the darkness behind. Those were the thoughts they had on their mind when sleep finally took them, holding each other, dreaming of the future lying ahead of them.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys hope everyone is alright!! Thank you so much for your kind words and staying with me!! So be prepared of a bit smut including a sexy cliffhanger ;) and also be prepared that I haven’t written much smut before so be gentle alright ;) So otherwise I hope you like it and please review  
> As usual I’m responsible for all mistakes made and don’t own anything

As Robin woke up he needed a moment to process what had happened. From the innocent beginning of the day, his son’s birthday to be almost cut into pieces by some fool (who now was buried next to the camp side) to finally making Regina open up to him. Letting him in and agreeing. Agreeing to his rather life changing offer. Robin was now after a night of peaceful rest still the opinion that he did the right thing. He would take his boy and go with that wonderful woman he had the incredible luck to hold in his arms right now.

Robin turned his head slightly, sat up so he could look at her, watch her chest raising softly, waving his fingers gently into her long dark curls careful not to wake her. She was so beautiful, breath taking and even more important _his_. Well as long as she was willing too. As long as she wanted to he would be on her side and treat her the way she deserved. In a way nobody had been taking care of her in a very long time, likely since Daniel’s death, Robin thought with a frown. He wondered if anybody had ever cherished, had shown affection and admiration to that bloody gorgeous woman in his arms.

It didn’t matter anymore, Robin vowed to himself he would give her the happiness she lingered so much, he would make her smile every day, he would sooth her pain and help her fighting her demons. Which would be everything but easy. Still Robin Hood had never been somebody who chose the easy way over the right way so he would do anything in his power to chase away the darkness that had such a strong hold on the heart of the woman he was sure he lost his to.

He would spent every day trying to be louder than the voices in her head, those who told her that she wasn’t good enough, didn’t deserve happiness (voices he was quite sure sounded a lot like Regina’s mother) and he would find a way to silence them.

A bigger problem in all this would be his Merry Men. Robin knew that they would stand behind him, would have his back but leaving them to be with the Evil Queen? Robin was sadly sure that that would be were his men support would end and he hated if he would have to choose between them or Regina. He feared the conservation ahead of him if he was honest. Especially since a little traitorous part of him was telling him he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. That horrible voice who told him that he was lovestruck fool, blind to the true nature of the woman he loved. Even if he didn’t like to admit it the words of his men, the warnings they had thrown at him since the moment he had brought the dying Queen into her middle hadn’t left him unaffected. Robin of Locksley wasn’t a fool he knew what the woman next to him was capable of had it seen , had felt how she choked the life out of him, had seen the light behind her eye go out.

But he also had seen them lighten up, had seen her honest smile, her caring nature, her good heart. Had seen her with his son, had seen her risking her life to save his. He knew Regina, wasn’t scared of her but there was still that nagging feeling he tried to push away as hard as he could. Sure he wasn’t afraid of Regina but he might was very well afraid of the Evil Queen inside her and till know he couldn’t say if Regina, the woman he loved was stronger than that part who Regina had let take over her life. Before Robin could get lost anymore in his troubled thoughts said woman opened her eyes. Stunning chocolate colored eyes looked up into his, uncertain and nervous, despite being still sleepy.

Robin banished all his dark thoughts, smiled and then pressed a sweet kiss on Regina’s lips. Soft and slowly, reassuring and caring. As they parted Robin knew he had reached his goal, Regina was smiling at him, the smile genuine and almost shy. “Good morning milady how did you sleep?” Robin asked her while gently tucking her hair behind her ear. “Good thief,” Regina answered before silently adding:” Better than in years.”

Robin’s heart became heavy at her words, the urge to comfort her stronger than ever. “That’s good to hear Regina,” Robin mumbled before continuing with a smirk:” I too except of your snoring of course.” Regina’s eyes widened at his words and she not so gently smacked his shoulder. “I am a Queen outlaw and I do not snore,” Regina told him while glaring at him. Not really impressed by it Robin only replied still smirking:” If you say so Your Majesty. Well anyway you are rather adorable while you are-not-snoring.”

Those words got him another glare but this time it was more affectionate if not a bit amused. Till she again smacked him:” Woah are we having violently tendencies today?” Robin asked her rubbing his shoulder. “Are we having bold tendencies today? “Regina returned smirking now too.

“Bold? I have been a perfect charming gentleman till this moment. But things can change rather quickly milady,” Robin replied closing the already small distance between them. “What’s that supposed to mean…,” before Regina could finish her sentence Robin once again pressed his lips onto hers. Fiercely and passionate this time, claiming her mouth, his fingers once again tingled up in her silky hair, while he was busy kissing the breath out of her lungs. It was like an addiction since his lips had first touched her soft red ones. Her sweet taste, the little moan she let out when his tongue slipped into her mouth, bloody hell it might was the best feeling in the whole damn world. They kissed and kissed, their kisses slowly heating up. The need to be with her, to touch her, to feel her was almost all consuming.

The whole world was spinning (but this time in a good way) as Robin had crushed his lips on hers again. Not gently but passionate, his tongue waiting for permission to enter which she gladly gave. Regina could feel his fingers in her hair could feel him pulling her closer and before she could stop it a little moan escaped her. But damnit he felt so good, the smell of forest on him, the taste of salt making her feel fuzzy. God she needed him, needrd him to touch her, to feel him.

As she could feel his hand gently trailing down her shoulders to her rips where he rubbed soft circle’s she was the one pulling him closer, deepening the kiss even further. Regina was about to lose herself to him, to his lips on hers and oh god it felt wonderful.

Then he suddenly broke their kiss and Regina couldn’t stop herself from being disappointed at the loss of contact. She looked up into his shining blue eyes only seeing so much love and care in them (and lust thank god she hadn’t been the only one being affected by this) “Why did you stop?” Regina asked Robin who once again soothed a strain of her hair behind her ear:” Because Regina you are still not well and because we are about to be interrupted by a little boy who is utterly excited to show his favorite Queen in the whole wide world his presents,” Robin said still petting her hair softly.

Right on the cue they heard fast steps and just moments later a four year old boy with a big grin was standing in front of them. Regina couldn’t stop herself from smiling, god that child really was the most adorable one in all the realms.

But then Roland’s smile dropped and he became serious walking towards his father. Regina watched his change in mood with a concerned frown. Maybe the events of the last days had become too much for the little lad or worse he had lost his fondness of her. “Papa what are you doing in Gina’s bed?”

Regina froze at the child’s almost distraught tone. What if Roland didn’t want her to be around anymore, what if she made a mistake? Regina bit her lip playing nervously with a strand of her hair waiting for the usual kick in the teeth from fate she received after something good had happened. Of course now after she let Robin in his son turned against her. Well she shouldn’t be surprised she was the Evil Queen after all. A few days of good behavior wouldn’t change that.

“Well Roland because Regina wanted to cuddle just like you do, “ Robin told his son seemingly as confused as Regina from the sudden mood swing. Roland stood there silent for a moment before grabbing his father’s arms and trying to pull him up. Regina watched the whole scene, her heart becoming heavier from second to second.

She didn’t know what she did (or what the other men had told him) but Roland’s newly distrust hurt her badly, worse than every blow, every punch could. “My boy what is going on why are you upset?” Robin asked his son trying to stop his tiny hand.

Then Roland shook his head and looked at his father:” Because Papa you are sitting on my place. I’m Gina’s special boy and I want to show her my presents but you are sitting on my place. I always can sit next to Gina, always Papa.”

Well from all the responses in the world this one wasn’t the one Robin expected. His first thought had been that children at morning could be unpredictable but a small voice in his had had whispered what if his men had poisoned his son against Regina? So he had already been ready to explain everything to his boy (and seriously kick some ass) but now he had to chuckle about the real reason.

His son was simply jealous and that truly warmed his heart. Well not so much the fact that his well raised son was acting rather rude but that Regina meant enough to his boy that he wasn’t willing to share her. Even with his own father.

Robin threw a glance towards Regina expecting her to be smirking too but all he saw were tears gathering in her eyes. But it wasn’t till she breathed out deeply that it hit Robin. She hadn’t thought like him it was some simple early-in-the-morning-tantrum, she had thought that he had turned against her. “I destroy everything I touch”, Robin remembered when she had said that, had seen the same self-loathing in her eyes like he did now.

So he stood quickly up making space for his son:” I apologize my boy. Please take your place next to the Queen while I get us some breakfast. Will you accept my apology?” Robin asked his son bowing his head slightly. Roland ran past his father almost jumping onto Regina, snuggling close to her and rapping his arms around the Queen. Seemingly debating for a moment Roland then nodded and said serious as a four year old can manage:” Alright Papa I forgive you this time because you are my Papa and because forgiveness is important right Papa?”

Robin couldn’t suppress a big grin now at his son’s words. “Yes my boy it is,” Robin replied with an earnest nod glancing towards Regina again hoping he had lifted her mood a bit. He sighted in relief when he saw that the tears were still there but she seemed more touched by everything than upset. And as he winked at her he even could raise a smile from her. It was little but honest.

“So since everything is in order again I’ll be off getting something to fill our bellies I’ll be back soon,” with those words Robin left the tent to get the food. And talk to his men which made him more anxious than it should.

“Gina look what I got from my Papa,” Roland showed Regina his bow and arrow with a proud grin. Regina sighted internally this really wasn’t an appropriate gift for a four year old. Sure the bow and arrow were well made Robin clearly put a lot of work in effort in it, still…

But knowing that it would break her boys hearts, or their pride for that matter (she frowned, did she just think her boys?) she only nodded and smiled: “Yes Roland it is beautiful. But you have to be very careful with it alright?” Regina thought she didn’t have to tell them it was a stupid idea but she could at least tell the boy to try not to pick his eyes out with it.

Roland showed Regina one gift after another babbling about his birthday and how yummy her cake had been, the best present of all of them. Regina only mumbled a “yes” and “really tell me” from time to time pressing light kisses of his hairline. Just content with the four year old in her lap, listening to him talking. Then he suddenly went silent again. Regina looked down at him in surprise stroking gently through his hair:” What is it Roland?”

“I made a wish yesterday,” Roland said quietly. “Yes when you blew out the candles, I remember,” Regina told still trying to figure out what was wrong. “Do you want to tell me what you wished for?” Regina asked him still petting his hair softly. Roland seemed to be in a rather strange mood today but the last few days had been rough so maybe that was normal.

Roland didn’t say anything for a moment and then looking up at her those dark eyes meeting hers. Then he answered finally his words barely above a whisper( Regina couldn’t remember if she ever saw that boy so quite like he was now):” I wished that you would stay forever with Papa and me.”

Regina was speechless at those words. He wanted her to stay no one ever wanted her, the real her not someone she had to be to fit into purposes of other people. And now she had been told by a certain thief and his son that they wanted her, they wanted her to stay with them.

“Will you stay with Papa and me Gina? Please?” Roland asked but this time it wasn’t silently at all. He had sat up and was now looking straight into her eyes and seeing that hopeful look, that love that little boy so clearly (and not understandable) had for her shining in them.

Regina couldn’t say a word only stroking over Roland’s cheek. And then realization hit her. She didn’t just care deeply for that little boy sitting in her lap right now she loved him, loved him with an intensity that scared her. That was it when even the perfect composted Queen inside her couldn’t hold it together anymore.

A few tears streamed down her cheek (she never had cried that much in present of other people like she had in those last few days but well who would have been there to sooth her? Right nobody) and Roland looked at her questioningly. Which was the moment where she put all doubts or fears away. Robin had promised her he would come with her and Roland clearly wanted too so she wrapped her arms around the little boy who eagerly sunk into her embrace and whispered into his ear:” Yes Roland I’m coming with you and your Papa.”

Robin was still nervous when he reached his men who were all sitting eating their breakfast. But before he could say anything Little John stepped towards him and said:” Robin what is going on with you and the Queen?” Robin only looked at his best friends and as soon as their eyes met Robin knew John knew what this was all about. “I know that look Robin. You love her don’t you?” John asked but it sounded like he already knew the answer.

“Yes I do,” Robin replied simply. A murmur went through his men but nobody spoke up only looking rather concerned till George spoke up:” Well a few days ago I would think the Queen put you under a spell but after watching her almost dying for you yesterday, well I guess that means hard shell soft core applies here doesn’t it?”

Robin hadn’t realized that he had been holding his breath the entire time but now it seemed like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders his men finally seemed to understand Regina. Then Tuck (why Tuck he would have been the last person he suspected to be against it) “Robin my boy I want you to listen to me now very carefully,” but before Tuck could continue Robin interrupted him:” No I don’t have to listen I…” “Yes my friend you do. Please just sit down for a moment alright?” Robin debated a moment but his friend’s eyes were completely neutral he couldn’t detect any judgment in them so he sat down.

“I will not tell you to run away because you are falling in love with the Evil Queen and I also won’t tell you that she is, actually evil I mean because what I’ve seen and heard in the last days makes me believe otherwise. “, Robin listened to his words with a confused frown trying to figure out Tuck’s point as he already went one:” But Robin despite the goodness you and some of us have seen there is much darkness inside that woman. Darkness she can’t control, anger and hatred she can’t or don’t want to control, “Tuck now grabbed Robin’s arm and squeezed it lightly.

“I can see the change in her and if everything works out , if you get lucky maybe she actually is your second chance. Not what I wished for you but if she makes you happy I’m alright with it. Despite it there is another side of the coin. The woman you love has a dark heart, a broken soul and a crushed spirit and might be beyond repair. And if you should be wrong about her you need to be aware that the consequences for you and your son can be devastating if not deadly. So Robin if you a really sure the Queen is worth the risk, if you truly have faith in her ability to change we’ll stand behind you.”

Robin looked thoughtfully at Tuck, not saying anything for a moment and then:” I am sure. And now I need to bring Regina and my son breakfast.” With those words Robin grabbed the food and turned around walking back to Regina’s tent. Despite is statement, his declaration that he was sure he stopped shortly before the tent. What if Tuck was right? What if no matter how hard he would try Regina wouldn’t be able to change? What if he was about to put his son in deadly danger?

As Robin walked into the tent he was so caught up in his own thoughts that it took him some time to realize what was happening and as he did his heart almost burst. Burst out of love. Right in front him was his son clinging to Regina and she had her arms wrapped around him pressing soft kisses onto his hair and kept mumbling, soothing to him:” I won’t leave , your Papa won’t leave everything is going to be alright Roland I’m right here.” Robin slowly came closer throwing a questioningly glance at Regina who only stretched out one hand waiting for him to take it, tear traces on her beautiful face.

Robin walked towards them taking Regina’s hand into his and sitting next to them (he almost fell that bed really was too small for three people even if those people were a tiny four year old and a thin Queen) “Look Roland your Papa is here.” Regina whispered softly and then his son finally realized that his father was here too. The little boy only let go of Regina so far that he could pull Robin into their hug too and once again Robin was holding the two people he loved most in his arms.

“Papa my wish came true Gina said she wouldn’t never go away, she will stay here with us,” Roland told his father happily. “Those are great news my boy but Regina won’t stay here with us she is a Queen remember?” Robin told his son and fast continued as he saw tears in his boy’s eyes:” But we will go with her, how would you like that?”

Roland’s eyes became big as he tried to process what his father just had told him:” You mean we can live in a castle, a real castle with Regina?” Robin chuckled at his boy clear fascination with the idea to live in a palace. Despite that fact that that would be a thought Robin would have to get used to it he knew it was the right thing to do, the right choice.

He was a free spirit, living in a castle sounded closely to living in a cage. It even had been Regina’s words but he would find a way to deal with it. Also even if he loved life in the woods he sometimes had wondered if it wasn’t better to find a more permanent place, a safer place for Roland to grow up. Not being on run (well it did have its advantages if the woman you love is a powerful Queen who can easily remove you from the wanted criminal list)

”Yes Roland would that be alright with you?” Robin asked his son, he was quite sure the boy would be but he wanted to be sure. “Yesssss Papa the castle would be cool as long Regina is there too,” Roland replied giving Regina a very wet kiss on the cheek.

Robin smiled fondly at the two and gently whipped a tear away who escaped Regina who gave him a watery smile. “So since that is settled how about we are having breakfast I’m sure everybody is starving aren’t we?” Robin said already handing the plates over. So they were sitting there eating together, together as a family and he pushed all the thoughts of “what if” far, far away.

Regina still couldn’t believe what had happened the last few days and couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot during the breakfast, listening to Roland and stealing kisses with Robin in between. She couldn’t think of one moment in her life where she had felt that happy like she did now.

So she excitedly(she really tried to be as cool about it as possible but once again Robin looked right through her, only grinning back) agreed to Robin’s offer to send Roland back to Little John and go for a walk. So there they were now walking next to each other their fingers weaved since the moment where she shortly had lost balance again. Despite insisting that she was fine (and she really was feeling considerable better) her body did feel the need to show her that she almost died twice that last few days from time to time.

It was a beautiful day the sun was shining brightly and Regina inhaled the fresh air deeply enjoying being anywhere that wasn’t the tent. They walked in silence for some time simply taking their stunning surroundings in as Robin suddenly spoke up:” If Roland and I come with you, live with you, be a part of your life will you stop your hunt after Snow White?” Regina went tense at his words tried to pull her hand out of his grip but Robin only tightened it pulling her softly to a big stone right to the river gently pushing her down on it.

Regina didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t just let Snow get away with it she couldn’t’ just forget all the pain and sorrow she had to go through because the little brat hadn’t been able to shut up. Despite it what would she do if she wouldn’t plan her next step to destroy the princess? How would she fill her days and even more important how would she find peace as long Snow was happy and alive?

Regina fought one moment with herself to voice all the things she just thought , afraid that it would push Robin away but in the end the desire to make him understand was bigger so she told him about her need for justice and that she didn’t have more to live for.

“Regina, “Robin told her kneeling once again in front of her brushing back her hair:” What do you think you will gain with Snow White’s death? Daniel will still be dead and your mother will still be responsible. You still would’ve been forced to marry Leopold. Her death won’t solve anything won’t make the pain you feel any less,” Robin told her looking deep into her eyes. “How do you know it won’t?” Regina asked him quietly looking away. Scared of his reaction to all of it.

But Robin, kind and loving Robin only lifted her chin up gently and said softly but firmly:” Because Regina I’ve felt it. Revenge never really takes the pain away, losing Marian still hurt like hell even after I killed her murderer. And if you kill her, you and I both know the way back from it won’t be easy likely even impossible. Let go Regina, forgive her not just for Snow’s sake but for yours, for ours. Regina look at me please.”

Regina slowly let her eyes met Robin’s and he continued:” Roland and I can be how you fill your days now, being a loved and liked Queen is how you can fill your days now. I’m here now Regina and I’m here to listen, listen to your pain and I’ll be able to take everything you throw my way if you promise me to fight _her.”_

Both of them knew who he meant with her but what if she wasn’t strong enough what if she failed , what if she wasn’t good enough? Would he leave? Of course he would every decent human being would.

“But what if I can’t Robin what if I fail?” Regina asked her voice so quiet, so scared. “Will you try?” Robin replied rubbing now soft circles on her wrist. “Yes but what if I can’t what…” Robin grabbed both of her hands now and said not letting go of her:” I don’t expect you to change overnight, I don’t expect perfection from you. All I want is you to try to be the person I know you truly want to be. All I need to know is if you are willing to try for me, for Roland and even more important for yourself milady? Because I know you can do it, if you want to, you can be whoever you want to be.”

Regina only looked a moment at Robin (frowning at his words, his last words had almost exactly been Daniel’s) and for the first time in over a decade she considered , seriously considered forgiving Snow, of letting go. Maybe it was more now because she would loath to disappoint Robin and Roland but maybe it was enough. Maybe their faith in her would be enough. So biting her lip once again to keep the tears at bay Regina nodded.

Robin couldn’t stop himself from smiling at her nod. He knew it wouldn’t be easy but together they would overcome anything as long she was willing to try. “That’s all I want milady and now come here, “Robin said softly pulling her in his arms again. They stayed like this for a few moments as Regina slowly withdrew herself of his embrace and before he could ask her what was wrong she crushed her lips onto his.

And then it were all tongues and heavy breathing as their kiss deepened. Robin moaned softly as Regina’s tongue swiped his lower lip. His fingers once again found their way into her hair pulling her gently closer towards him while the other hand was trailing up and down her body. God she was gorgeous, stunning, breathtaking.

They kissed and kissed and then Robin slowly was again the one to break it but Regina only whispered her voice tight with lust:” Please Robin I’m fine I don’t want to stop.” “Are you sure you up to it milady? You are absolutely certain you want this?” Robin asked her trying to get his breathing under control. “Yes I am, now Robin ” Regina mumbled , desire in those dark beautiful eyes claiming his mouth again , kissing him fiercely. And well who was he to disobey a direct order from his Queen. So he pulled her even closer and as he again broke the kiss he only changed location and started to suck on her pulse, biting her earlobe what made Regina moan this time.

Bloody hell she felt so good Robin could barely think straight anymore as Regina placed herself in his lap softly grinding against his by now quite hard erection. He pressed wet kisses down her neck till he reached her collar bone which made the stunning woman in his arms gasp and rolling her hips faster. Robin groaned at her change in pace and while capturing her lips for another heated kiss, lifted both of them to the soft ground. Seemingly not bothered by the change of location Regina only grabbed his shirt and pulling him even closer. As her hand was trailing down further and her soft and perfect lips crashed once again down on his for a heated kiss the only thing Robin could think that he was a very lucky man right now.

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys hope everyone is fine and thank you for all your lovely comments and for staying with me!!!!  
> I’m already apologizing for this chapter because it turned out quite angsty even the smut ;) I blame it on the fact that Once is coming back this Sunday and I’m rather anxious (and hella excited) about it  I hope you still like it and please review! Like always I’m responsible for all mistakes made and don’t own anything  
> PS: If you want to talk with about the story or anything else I can be found on Twitter (SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr(onceuponahappytime)  
> PS2: Once is coming backkkkkkkkkk

Regina is wet. Wet like she hadn’t been in… well she didn’t remember. The only thing she did know that she never had wanted anyone as badly as she wanted Robin now. When he had moved both of them to the ground she hadn’t been scared or had simply done it because it was what was expected from her. She had done it, had pulled him close because she wanted to. She wanted to feel him, wanted to have him inside, wanting him to touch her. So she melted into his touch, tugging him closer and closer till he lay atop of her, his mouth on her throat, his hand in her hair.

Regina couldn’t breathe only let out a little moan as he was grinding against her. She wanted him, wanted every piece of him. Then she felt his hands on her breast cupping them while softly biting her earlobe. Oh god it felt so good but it would be even better if…but before Regina could finish her thought Robin already rubbed this thumb over the stiffened peaks of her breast, still covered by the fabric her dress was made of. He was teasing her so she whispered her voice tight from desire:” Robin harder please.”

She heard him chuckle then mumbling:” How milady wishes.” And then he was tugging her nipples harder almost roughly but still watching her with an intensity that made Regina moan a little louder. Because he is watching her to find out what she liked and what not which made Regina smile (and even wetter if that was even possible).

Robin’s mouth left her neck to wander down kissing the swell of her breast. Her voice was eager when she moaned: “Yes Robin” which made him only grinding harder. God damn the rolling tugs he was giving her nipples almost drove her crazy that thief really knew how to put good use to those hands. An especially hard tug made Regina’s back arch feeling his erection pushing against her exactly where she needed it.

Then she suddenly felt this hand on her thighs under her dress, gently stroking over her sex. God did it feel good… till it didn’t.

Till Robin did the one thing, that one stupid thing that pushed her back into her past. He had gripped her hands and pinned them down above her head the other one of his hands still between her legs and Regina didn’t know if it was because she was a bit jumpy since the poison or it was just too much but that movement activated a flashback and a rather vicious one.

Suddenly it wasn’t Robin anymore on top of her it was Leopold, forcing her down, pushing into her. Regina couldn’t breathe anymore and a whimper escaped her, her whole body shaking in fear. It was only Robin, Leopold was dead, she tried to calm herself down but it didn’t work. She only could feel her former husband’s hands on her, touching, hurting. Her breaths came now short and uneven trying to push the images away, shutting her eyes. It didn’t work.

Robin knew he had made a mistake before he had looked into her eyes. So he let go of her arms as fast as if he was burned. Her entire breathing had changed as soon as he had pinned her hands above her head while he had kep touching her. Apparently kissing, wandering hands and touching was alright as long he didn’t held her down in any way.

Alone the implication of this thought shot anger through Robin’s veins the desire to rip the person responsible (likely that son of a bitch King) apart but he also knew that it wasn’t what Regina needed know , she couldn’t deal with his anger above everything. Robin could see on her glassy look that she wasn’t with him anymore. She was someplace else, some dark place that clearly scared her and Robin didn’t need much imagination to know which part of her past had a strong hold on her now.

“Shh Regina it’s me Robin you are safe,” Robin whispered softly trying to find her eyes but she had them now closed. Robin got off of her entirely only holding her hand rubbing circles on them trying to comfort her. “Regina it’s alright you are alright. Come on milady come back to me,” Robin said being close but still giving her some space to calm down.

Robin was growing concerned at the lack of response as Regina suddenly opened her eyes clearly still trying to center herself. There was so much fear in those dark beautiful days that Robin‘s heart clenched painfully, the desire to protect her overwhelming. Despite his needs to keep her safe Robin knew that Regina was a strong woman who didn’t need someone to protect her , she was doing fine on her own.

Still if she would let him help her… then she suddenly whispered: “Robin.” “I’m here milady I’m here,” Robin answered slowly getting closer to her ready to back down if necessary.

“I’m sorry I’m…,” Regina whispered eyes looking away from him. She was ashamed for her reaction and the last thing Robin would do was letting her feel like that not after she survived so much, not after being so strong for such a long time. “There is nothing to apologize for Regina,” Robin told her pressing a soft kiss on her forehead. “You are so strong Regina,” Robin whispered into her ear her body slowly relaxing at his words.

For a few minutes no one said a word they were only lying next to each other Robin still holding her hand then suddenly Regina pulled his head down to another headed kiss but Robin parted rather soon concerned for her well -being:” Regina we don’t have to do it now we have time till you are ready.”

Regina only shook her head pulling him closer to her again telling almost desperately:” I’m ready I want to keep going.” She smiled at her words but Robin once again looked straight through her. There was still a tension around her mouth that hadn’t been there before and the smile hadn’t really reached her eyes. But then he saw the almost begging look in those big brown eyes and he understood. It was important for her, this was important to proof that she was fine that her husband (or whoever was responsible for it) hadn’t broken her.

So Robin only nodded soothing a hair strand behind her ear telling her with a smirk (to lighten the mood): “If that is what you wish milady I’m more than happy to do so. But I’m a gentlemen after all , a rather handsome one I like to add,” Regina’s lips curved into a small but honest smile at his words, just like Robin hoped for, he then continued:” I want to cherish you , take my time with you somewhere where we don’t get in danger to be eaten by bees alive;” Robin mumbled still smirking but knowing that look she was giving him, telling him that she was this time the one seeing right through his diversionary tactic (she either was thinking he didn’t want her or that she was weak and she was so wrong with both of it) so he decided maybe something in between would be a good idea.

Waiting with sex till she was more settled, felt completely safe but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give her any pleasure at all. So Robin only added, his hand already stroking her thigh gently:” But that doesn’t mean I can give you some pleasure as a taste for later don’t I?”

This time her smile actually reached her eyes and despite still being rather anxious her body slowly slackened a bit.

So Robin kissed her again still passionate but not as fiercely as before and gently let his fingers wander between her thighs. Slowly stroking over her sex making her whimper. “Is that alright?” Robin asked her kissing his way up her neck. Regina nodded and despite still not being fully relaxed she seemed to enjoy it.

So Robin slowly pushed on finger inside her watching her inhaling sharply but it seemed out of lust not fear. Still he waited a moment searching for her eyes to get permission and what he saw in those wonderful whiskey colored eyes almost took his breath away. He saw trust, heavy weighting trust and it made his heart miss a beat.

So he stared to move his finger inside her(despite their little hiccup she was wet and warm , feeling amazing) still closely watching her for any sign of discomfort but she was only grinding her hips against his fingers so he carefully pushed a second into her making her moan in pleasure.” Still alright Regina?” Robin asked despite her thrusting into his touch. He wanted to be 100% sure he didn’t step over an invisible line, making sure all that woman lying next to him felt was pleasure. God he was hard, watching her writhe and moan how the hell could he be turned on like this by only watching her being on fire?

Well whatever it didn’t matter this wasn’t about him or his desire. Even if he was about to explode, his erection almost painfully he would held himself back no matter how hard (pun not intended)it would we. This was for Regina and he would be damned if he would put his own desires above hers.

So he pumped his fingers in and out of her faster circling her clit with his thumb which made her back arch once again in pleasure. She was moaning now constantly and bloody hell was she beautiful. Her cheeks were slightly red her hair mussed. She was a picture like this, grinding into his touch, crying out softly, dark eyes filled with desire.

Oh god she was about to explode. Robin’s fingers inside her felt so good. Gasping in pleasure when he touched her clit and rubbing it Regina moaned loudly. “Robin please,” Regina whimpered. Damn where did Robin learn to be that good in it? But it wasn’t just is skilled touch (and he really knew what he was doing) but the way he looked at her. Like she was the most beautiful and sexiest creature in this realm.

She didn’t saw pity (she was so ashamed of her reaction before) or disgust all she saw was lust and desire and care. God she was so wet and his fingers he just touched her at all the right places and as he added a third finger she almost lost it. It felt better than anything she had experienced in that way ever. “Yes harder Robin please I’m close,” Regina said her voice tight of lust. She could feel her coming close to the edge (why was it so easy with Robin she never came that quickly well if she came at all ) could feel her body tensing. Robin apparently could feel it too:” That’s it Regina let go you are safe just let go.”

And she did, she finally let go and her walls tightened around his fingers as orgasm was hitting her. She saw stars and almost blacked out at the intensity of it, screaming as she reached the peek. Robin, good kind Robin only kept pushing his fingers in and out feeding her orgasm and then softly talked her down till she was relaxed again.

God Robin almost came in his pants only by watching her come undone at his hand. This woman was just too much sometimes. When she finally caught breath again (Robin couldn’t suppress a grin, well he just made a Queen beg for his touch so…) then he suddenly felt her hand on his cock and he inhaled sharply at her touch. God it felt good but he had vowed to himself that he would wait, wait till she felt completely safe with him, was ready to give him everything of her and he wouldn’t push her.

“No Regina that was for you. I can wait,” Robin said pushing her hand gently away. “Robin I can do this it is alright…” Regina told him but despite the clear trust she had been giving him before she still wasn’t fully alright, her eyes still uncertain so Robin only said kissing her softly:” I don’t have doubts that you can do it and I’ m sure it will be rather amazing but I don’t want you to give your body to me until you completely fine with it and for someone so wonderful and precious as you I’m more than willing to wait alright? Just do not let us hurry into things ok?”

She seemed to debate it for a moment likely trying to figure out if admitting that she needed more time was a sign of weakness. Regina looked up at him her eyes searching for lies but seemingly convinced from his honesty she dipped her head and softly whispered:” Thank you.”

Robin’s need to protect her was almost overwhelming at her barely hearable words so he lifted her head up , cupped her jaw tenderly and pressed a reassuring kiss on her soft lips then pulling her into his arms. To his surprise there was no resistant at all and they just sat their holding each other and enjoying the silence.

After a while sitting there just feeling safe and content Regina slowly stood up dragging Robin with her up. Because as wonderful it was here with him (she almost didn’t want to get up at all) she was so hungry that she felt slightly dizzy. Robin only grumbled as he slowly got up grinning at her and Regina felt herself returning his smile. “Everything alright milady?” Robin asked gently grabbing for her hand weaving their fingers together.

Regina couldn’t stop her smile from becoming a beaming one. He always wanted to know if she as alright, always cared for her well-being. It had been such a long time since that happened. And despite his clear desire to make her comfortable he never treated like she wasn’t capable of taking care of herself never gave her the feeling she was weak. Not having any idea what that meant to her (it was everything)

“Yes outlaw but I don’t know about you but I’m starving,” Regina told him pressing a soft kiss on his lips. It was new and strange just to pull forwards and kiss him but since he had done it quite a few time well why not? Robin only chuckled at her words saying while roaming his hand up and down her back:” A hungry Queen? We can’t have that.”

Both of them grinned at each other like idiots as the finally stared to walk back to the camp. Fingers weaved talking about everything and nothing and as Regina’s stomach had let out a loud growl which made Robin chuckle even more she slightly smacked him. “Uff milady another hit? There will be revenge for it later I hope you do know that?” Regina raised her brows at his words but seeing his mischievously smile she found herself laughing. Which made Robin’s grin even bigger. They had a little back and forth, snarky and cocky, Regina for once really enjoyed it having someone talking back.

Then closely before they reached the camp Robin suddenly went silent seemingly deep in thoughts. Since everything had been so easy and light between them Regina already grew concerned if she had once again said something wrong but since she couldn’t figure out what she asked softly:” What is it Robin. You have become rather silent.”

Like he just realized that he just had stopped talking he smiled at her reassuringly like he knew what she was just thinking. Maybe he did no he probably knew it. “I apologize milady I was just thinking.” “Yes I saw that I’m allowed to ask about what?” Regina asked him curiously. Robin chuckled softly when he replied:” You are of course always allowed to speak what’s on your mind I just might not always answer. “Robin scratched his head seemingly hesitating but he then continued:” I was just thinking about the man who attacked me. Something isn’t right“

“What do you mean?” “I honestly don’t know it just a gut feeling. I have encountered many bandits on my travels. Violently and ruthless ones who don‘t care who they hurt to get what they want but this guy it was more like…”Robin trailed off only looking at the tree in front of them so Regina asked:” Like ?” “Like he had been more after me than the gold which of course is nonsense but he never really went for the coin I was holding but he pulled the knife on me rather quickly.”

Robin had thought about that strange and almost deadly encounter quite a bit. Mostly because he had been concerned about the safety of his camp (also almost bleeding to death was a rather rattling experience) it just didn’t feel right but maybe he was overthinking everything and as soon as he saw Regina’s concerned frown he put his arm around her shoulder kissing her temple saying calmly:” But don’t worry love I’m sure it is nothing. Just a fool who wanted quick money.”

He could see that she wasn’t convinced but seemed to understand that he wouldn’t talk further about it so she only nodded and pulled herself closer to him.

As soon as they reached the others Robin lead Regina to their tent (when did it had become their tent?) He would love to eat with her, Roland and his men but it might was too early for that especially since Regina still hadn’t recovered fully (at the beginning for their walk back she had held onto him because she wanted to at the end because she needed to) So he only called after Roland who came running crashing into Regina with a very enthusiastic:”Ginaaa you here!” “Yeah my boy it alright you greet Regina I’m really not that important.” Robin told his son with a grin who still hadn’t let go of his Gina.

“I’m sorry Papa but you always greet the lady first right?” Roland told his father with an earnest nod. Robin chuckled proud and answered his son:” Yes Roland that is true. But since you already welcomed Regina properly…”Before Robin could finish his sentence Roland threw himself onto him but without letting go of Regina’s hand so they once again where in some kind of group hug. Laughing Robin held them close before releasing them telling his boy:” Alright Roland will you be a good boy and guard the Queen to her tent?”

“Really does that mean I’m Gina’s knight now?” Robin threw a glance at Regina and both shared an amused look as Robin nodded and said:“ Yes Roland that is exactly what it means are you ready to take up your new task?” Both adults barely could stop themselves from bursting into laughter at Roland’s serious look:” Of course Papa. Come one Gina I’ll guide you to your tent.”

Roland bowed at his words almost losing balance if Robing would’ve held him. To his surprise Regina curtseyed ,like a person of her status never would have to do and said smiling softly:” It would be an honor sir Roland:” His son was almost beaming at her words as he carefully took her hand nodded at his father and lead Regina to her tent telling everybody that he was the Queen’s new guard.

Robin looked after them fondly (Not only he but also a big part of his men had looked almost fondly at the pair).and as he turned around he was so stunned that he accidentally ran into a table full of glasses which of course broke as he fell onto them.

Cursing he got up feeling a sharp pain in his wrist so he pulled up his sleeve and surely there were multiple glass splitter. The glass had cut tiny incisions where his tattoo was. Nothing serious but blood drops were falling down and before he could do something Tuck stood next to him mumbling something that sounded damnit like “Lovestruck fool” and put a bandage around it ignoring Robin’s protest. “It doesn’t matter if you say it’s nothing if that cuts get infected so stop being a stubborn ass and let me take care of it.” Well if Tuck insisted… So Robin let him put the splitter out and finishing putting the bandage around it.

As everything was done and his men who snorted into her cups of tea got a glare from him even though it was a rather affectionate one. They all just grinned back at him. It seemed Regina was slowly winning their hearts. Maybe.

Robin later thought he should’ve known that it would be so easy for Regina and his men.

The rest of the day past rather eventless. Regina ate with Robin and Roland lunch, then slept for a while (exhausting was taking over that damn poison really did take its tool)and then was woken up rather harshly from a little boy who insisted she had to come with him because his Papa would show him how to use an bow and arrow and she had to watch.

So Regina let herself get dragged out and immediately she knew that something was wrong. Her neck hair stood up and instinctively she put herself in front of Roland, tensing searching her surroundings. At first she didn’t see them but then a man caught her gaze and with a frown she realized that it was the same who had said she was a monster at Roland’s birthday.

He was clearly drunk (Jesus it was not even 4 pm) and looking for trouble. Regina slowly went backwards pulling Roland with her hoping she could leave unseen and avoid a scene. No such luck of course he spotted her as soon as she had taken a step back. Where the hell was Robin?

“Well well look who’s here the Evil Queen herself. Ripped any hearts out today? Or eat any children?” Regina took deep breathes trying to ignore him(eating children seriously? That was disgusting, horrible and even crazy for her standards, there was a reason why she killed the Blind Witch as soon as she had had a chance)”Come on Roland we are going,” Regina told the boy gently who had gripped her hand tightly clearly sensing that something was off. “Oho you might have bewitched Robin but you can’t fool me. I know what you are, you are a monster and I’ll not leave Roland alone with you ,” Arthur snarled.

Regina sighted and turned to Roland telling him softly:” Roland sweetie everything is fine. Just wait by your Papa I’ll be there soon alright?” Roland clearly hesitated but after a sharper “Hush Roland now” from Regina he ran off.

“I’m going to say that one time also listen carefully. You can think about me what you want but leave Roland out of it. He can’t understand it, shouldn’t understand it and if you cannot control yourself after consuming wine I recommend to water my dear and now leave me be,” Regina turned around to follow Roland as Arthur spoke up again.

“Or what? You’ll kill me? You can’t not with Robin here.” “I have nothing else to say goodbye.” Regina knew she had to go now her anger was already lingering behind the surface ready to explode. It had been stressful days and she was in no mood for this little sick game. So she walked away till… “I don’t know what Robin sees in you besides a nice ass and great tits. You are a nothing more than a toy to warm his bed because no one can love a person without a soul.”

Arthur words made her stop but she was still trying to center herself not let the anger get control of her not to let _her_ but then:” You are nothing more than a pathetic monster who is too weak, too damn weak to…”But before Arthur could finish his sentence something inside her snapped, snapped at the word weak and she saw red. Regina turned around waving her hand and suddenly Arthur was in the air touching his throat desperately as she choked the life out of him. “You dare to call me weak you little cockroach! Insulting a Queen always gets punished by death dear you should’ve known that.”

With those words Regina slowly kept closing her hand cutting off all the oxygen supply. Arthur was turning blue, gasping for air and good if felt good. If felt good to release the tension, to be the stronger one, to not be weak. Regina felt the anger flowing through her, hot boiling rage till she suddenly heard a voice. Robin’s voice and first she didn’t understand him then:” Regina please put him down this is not really you.”

He was completely calm but it wasn’t his words that put her back into reality it were his eyes. Those kind blue eyes which now were looking pleadingly at her. But it was the fact that his gaze, he almost seemed scared, disappointed and suddenly Regina realized the last thing she wanted to do was to let him down, to let them down. So she took a deep breath and let go.

Robin had ran as fast as he could after his son told him what was going on and had to inhale sharply as he saw _her_ again. Like a few days ago Regina’s eyes were cold and her expression blank. Her lips curved into a mocking smile as she had tightened the grip around Arthur’s throat. He knew that that wasn’t Regina anymore and he hoped that he would get through to her. Thankfully it didn’t take long till she finally met his gaze and for a moment the only thing he could see was the Evil Queen starring at him but then suddenly the warmth and light came back, Regina came back.

Arthur fell on the ground but before he could go after Regina or do anything else Robin punched him right in the face. He hadn’t heard the entire conversation but enough to know that the punch was well deserved. Robin saw his men slowly coming but none of them dared to come any closer so Robin only took Regina’s hand and pulled her with him which she surprisingly let happen without resistance.

As soon as they reached the tent Robin couldn’t keep his anger inside him any longer:” What the hell was that supposed to be Regina?” Bloody hell he was angry, damnit she almost killed Arthur (not that he had wanted to from time to time but that was beside the point) he wanted to shake her, shake some sense into her and as he turned around coming fast closer the one thing happened that made him stop. She flinched back, such a mix of fear and self-loathing in her eyes, she looked defeated which made Robin calm down, kneeling in front of taking her hand into his (those hands which now were shaking) “Regina?” Robin asked quietly.

Then there was silence so Robin tried again:” I don’t know for sure what Arthur said but whatever it was Regina you can’t let anger control you like that. Regina do you understand me? I know it’s not easy but if you let me help…” Regina’s head lifted at these words, dark eyes confused:” You… you’ll still stay with me? You still believe I can be good?” Regina sounded so young so vulnerable that despite being angry like hell his heart once again broke for her.

Robin gently sooth her hair behind her ear and made sure what he was going to say next was as sincere as he meant it to be:” Look Regina I’m not naïve I didn’t expect you to change overnight. It a process and I’m also prepared that you will fail from time to time but that’s alright milady as long as you keep trying ok?” When Regina looked up at him he knew the walls, the mask of the Evil Queen had been gone at least for now.

“I’m sorry Robin,” Regina whispered. “I know milady,” Robin mumbled and pulled Regina into a tight embrace. She first went tense again then let herself sink into him. Robin gently kissed her hairline whispering into her ear:” And Regina I know that you can be good I’ve seen it more than once.” Regina didn’t answer him only snuggled even closer.

Regina still couldn’t believe it. She failed she had been bad, she hadn’t been good enough but Robin still believed in her still wasn’t ready to give her up. No one had ever done that for her not since Daniel. She knew that he had been angry but still he was here holding her close, soothing her instead of punishing her, leaving her. She had been scared for a moment as he had come closer livid and disappointed but he immediately had slowed down, had given her space and she had known in this moment that he would never strike her, hurt her not matter how angry he was.

So both of them were only sitting there holding each other as Regina spoke up: “Is Roland alright?” “Yes he is fine only a bit shaken up. He didn’t like it much that Arthur was insulting his Queen the one he was to protect, “Robin answered still petting her hair softly. “I’m sorry Robin Roland never should’ve …”

“No he should’ve heard or seen anything but it’s alright. You sent him away and protected him from most of it, he will be alright.” Robin then was silent for a moment and then:” Roland told me you were calm at the beginning ready to back down. What did he say that upset you so much?” Regina hesitated for a moment. For Robin to understand why the use of the word weak had made her freak out completely would mean the topic of her dear mother which was just too much right now. “Are you going to be mad when I say it’s a story for a different day?” Regina asked softly holding her breath. “No milady that is alright as long as you do share it with me when you are ready, deal?”

“Yes deal, “Regina whispered relieved and then:” Regina despite that little setback before and the mess following it I want you to know that I’m still proud of you one slide doesn’t change that.”

That was all it need for the first tear to escape and then Regina was sobbing in Robin’s arms and he only pulled her closer to him whispering that everything was going to be alright. And Regina wanted so desperately to believe him.

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my wonderful people sorry it took so long but I had two huge law exams there just wasn’t any time to write. But to make it up to you this chapter is a bit longer than the rest and to honor last Sunday’s ep has a dance scene in it (I couldn’t resist) also be aware of quite an amount of smut at the end.  
> I hope you will like it and please review!!! As usual I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made.  
> PS: If you want to talk to me about this story or whatever I can be found on Twitter (SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr(onceuponahappytime)  
> PS2: PS2 is more a question on my behave: This story was always planned to be a slow burn but please tell me if you think I’m going to slow with the plot line it’s just for OQ to deal with what I have planned for them they have to fully trust each other and that’s something Regina isn’t too good at it…?

Robin sighted while still pressing gentle kisses on Regina’s hairline holding her close, feeling her body shake in his hold. He had been so angry at her angry that seemingly a few words from a moron (oh he would love to punch Arthur again that bloody idiot) had been enough to throw everything away they were trying to build. His heart had almost stopped when his boy had come running to him crying that someone had been mean to his Regina.

Knowing that his men still didn’t really trust her Robin hadn’t been that concerned at his son’s word till he saw the fear in Roland’s eyes. That was when Robin knew things were about to seriously getting out of control. Spotting Regina had his worst thoughts proven right. There she had been choking Arthur and once again he had seen it. The blank hatred in her eyes, almost felt her boiling rage himself gone was the kind and caring woman he had held in his arms before. Replaced by a cold merciless vengeful person, the warmth in her beautiful dark eyes gone.

When he had caught her gaze it was like looking at a stranger and for a second just a moment he was afraid. That moment passed shortly after as he could watch once again a transformation. While her eyes had been cold and emotionless at first he finally could see Regina behind them and so he hadn’t broken eye contact till he had seen the light come back till he had seen Regina come back.

Robin shook his head thinking about the conversation he just had with the woman sobbing in his arms. He had wanted to yell at her shake sense back into her but then he saw so much self-loathing in her eyes it almost made his heart shatter into million pieces. He had known that changing was a rough process bloody hell didn’t he know. More than once Marian had to shake some sense into him but she hadn’t given up on him and he as well wouldn’t give up on that wonderful complex woman who now slowly seemed to calm down.

“Robin?” Robin was pulled out of his thoughts by Regina’s voice which was tentative and barely above a whisper. “Yes milady?” Robin mumbled feeling Regina breathing in and out nervously at his neck. She still hadn’t looked at him since her tears had stopped. “What is going to happen now?”

Robin once again was taken aback how young and uncertain almost shy Regina could sound sometimes. Nothing like the confident sassy (and bossy) Queen he knew but this version of her held a very special place in his heart.

“Well Regina….” Robin stopped himself as he felt her go tense afraid of his verdict he realized so he gently lifted her chin making her facing him. “Regina whatever is going to happen I’ll have your back alright?” Robin assured her but he still could see that she didn’t really believe him still seeing the confusion in her dark eyes the utterly surprise that he was still next to her still on her side.

Despite being still somewhat angry at her the urge to make her smile again to make her understand was greater. “Listen to me carefully now milady I won’t pretend that this won’t have consequences this was quite a setback in winning my men’s trust but it still going to work out.”

“How?” Regina her voice low her eyes still showing her disbelieve. But before Robin could give her any more reassurance they were interrupted by a little boy running toward them almost throwing himself onto them. Both of them almost lost balance but Robin caught himself in the last minute ( and prevented Regina from falling too) watching how Roland pulled his tiny arms around Regina and pulled her towards him.

Watching them Robin thought it might was a good time to let his son perform his magic and distracted Regina for a bit. Hopefully his son was capable of getting Regina out of the hold her self-loathing had on her. Her smile still looked far too forced for his liking

Despite it he really had to talk to his men making damage control so he only kissed Regina’s temple stroking gently up and down her back (bloody hell she was still so tense that Robin was sure it had to hurt her) whispering a:” I’ll be back soon” tousling through his son’s hair telling him:” Roland I have to go and take care of something will you protect Regina while I’m gone?”

If he himself wasn’t so anxious about the conversation with his men he would’ve likely fit into laughter at his son serious nod and his “Of course Papa I’m Gina’s knight right Gina?” which finally put a real smile on Regina’s face and at her “Yes you are, my brave knight” Robin threw one last reassuring glance at Regina and then left the tent. Left to make his men understand that that little slide didn’t proof at all that an Evil Queen wasn’t redeemable

Regina anxiously looked after Robin biting her lip and trying to sort through the chaos in her head. Not that having a very excited four year old in your lap was making that task any easier. So Regina was content at the moment to only stroke over Roland’s head and listen how he and Little John who likely had been the one when she and Robin had their talk about her _little slide_ had played knight and monster.

Roland was babbling till he suddenly went silent. Just like when he had told her about his wish his wish for her to stay. Regina felt how she went tense again what if he had changed his mind after what he had seen? Yes he had been gone when the worst happened when she had completely lost it (oh god she would never forget the fear in Robin’s eyes the disappointment why did she always had to let everybody down? )

What if Roland had seen enough and decided that he didn’t want to be with her what if he feared her now? It was taking all the strength she had to lift Roland’s chin up just like Robin had done with her a few moments ago and to ask the little boy:” Roland what is it?”

Roland stayed silent for mere seconds and then finally looked into her eyes in his own tears were already gathering:” Why did Arthur call you monster? Why was he so mean? ” God Regina’s dark small heart clenched painfully at the little boy’s words trying to figure out a way to tell Roland what had happened. But how do you explain a four year old( who already won your heart) that his father’s friend called her monster because there were no other names for a woman who slaughtered entire villages , who ripped hearts out for fun, who murdered and tortured ?

Regina swallowed a couple of times hard pulling Roland who was looking expectantly at her closer despite fearing he would withdrew himself of her embrace. “Roland I need you now to listen very carefully to me alright?” Waiting till the little boy nodded Regina continued: “Because Roland not too long ago I did some bad things I hurt people.”

“Why did you do it?” Regina inhaled sharply at his question. She debated for a few moments how to explain it to Roland till she settled for:” I was angry at them for being mean to me, for letting me down.” “They were mean to you? I don’t like it when people are mean to you.”

Regina was amazed that despite everything Roland seemingly still seemed to like her. “Yes Roland some were but I was so angry that I hurt those too who weren’t and…” Before Regina could end her sentence Roland took her hand and held her to his chest looking at her as earnest as a boy his age could and said:” Papa always says that when we hurt people also when we don’t mean to be mean we have to apologize. That it is the right thing to do the honerable thing .”

“Honorable sweetie not honerable,” Regina corrected him with a watery smile. Regina realized with a frown that the four year old in her lap was right yes it was the right thing to do. But it had been years since Regina’s had apologized for anything. For once because a part of her didn’t see anything to be sorry for and the other part of her knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness. Apologies were for the ones who did wrong to relieve themselves from the guilt they were now feeling. Not that anyone would forgive her in the first place

“Roland I don’t think it’s that easy. I don’t think anyone wants to forgive me.” “Well you need to try it so long till they do that is important Gina.” Regina was taken aback for a moment with the intensity of Roland’s gaze. Regina thoughtfully looked at the little boy trying to figure out why this, her apologizing was so important to him.

Sure Robin had raised his son well he really was a wonderful good-hearted child but that seemed a bit much understanding for a four year old after all. So Regina asked him softly petting his brown hair:” Why is this so important to you Roland?”

Now a first tear was falling down his cheek as he told her not letting go of her hand:” Because Gina I want my and Papa’s friends to like you and not be mad at you.” “Roland why…” Regina tried to understand what troubled the boy so much.

“Arthur said yesterday that he doesn’t like it when you and I spent time together because you are mean and that you will leave us and that Papa is making a mistake and I don’t want them to be mad at you because if they are mad you don’t like it here anymore and then you go and I don’t want you to go. Please be friends with Papa’s and my friends please!” Regina was speechless she had expected everything but not this. She thought Roland would now turn against her because his friends who he looked up to told him so and Regina couldn’t even blame them. She was the Evil Queen after all and who would want their loved one anywhere near her?

“Roland I’m sorry I…” Regina got interrupted again this time because Roland throw himself at her putting his tiny arms around her neck and said tears now streaming freely down his little face:” Please don’t go Gina. I love you.” He then pulled her close and sobbed in her arms just like she had done in Robin’s. Regina’s heart missed a beat at Roland’s words a tear was now falling down her cheek too.

She did anything to soothe the boy but she knew only one thing would work the one thing that was right. She had to apologize to the Merry Men. It would be one of the hardest things she had ever done but for that little boy in her arms who just told her that he loved her who just made her battered heart feeling something so intense she would do whatever was necessary to assure he was happy.

To say Robin’s men very furious were an understatement. He had spent the last half hour yelling at them and being yelled at. You foolish idiot had been one of the nicest name his men had thrown at him and even if a part of him was livid the other understood them. Almost choking Arthur to dead didn’t really make Regina more trustworthy. He was about to just give up and let some time pass to let everyone calm down when he suddenly heard Regina’s voice. He anxiously turned around and despite the usual beat that his heart missed every time he saw her he knew he rather would have her be in her tent then here. Another confrontation wouldn’t end too well for both sides.

“Regina what…,” but Regina held up her hand so Robin stopped searching for her eyes. She threw a uncertain but honest smile at him what somewhat calmed him a bit ( really just a bit there was still so much that could go wrong and he would hate to choose sides even if he already know which one he would chose)

Robin could see how his men looked also stressed and alarmed but when Regina started to talk it wasn’t some sass coming from her. Her voice was rather soft and the smile even if it got considerable smaller was still on her lips.

“I’m not here to fight I’m here to apologize for my behavior.” Robin was so stunned at her words that he was speechless. Looking at his men he seemingly wasn’t the only one who was rather surprised at her words. “You are here to say you are sorry?” Little John asked starring at her. Robin thought for a moment to ask Regina if she was sure but one look from her clearly showed that he should shut up and let her talk.

“Yes I am. Even though it has been a long time since anyone dared to talk to me that way Arthur I had no right to use my magic against him. I am guest here and it’s no way to honor your hospitality by trying to kill you. So yes I am sorry for what I’ve done and any trouble I cost you in the past. I’ll try to do better. I understand fully if you don’t want me here even more forgive me but I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry, truly.” Robin looked proudly at Regina he knew what apologizing meant to her how much effort it took her to get those words out.

“However if you ever have the unstoppable urge to insult me be aware that I don’t need magic or punches to show you your place. My words are sharp enough. Also if any of you bring up your hatred towards me in front of Roland I won’t hesitate to punish you for it.”

Well she did start her “I’m sorry” well Robin thought with a frown and a little smirk about the threat of her last words. A very little smirk though he wasn’t sure how serious she was about it but since he witnessed her almost choking a man to death he chose to take it rather serious.

“But again I’m very sorry and as long everyone shows at least a bit respect towards me in front of Roland I won’t cause you any trouble. He just shouldn’t get hurt by things which aren’t his fault at all.”

Robin could see that his men slowly opened up to her. Their joint love for Roland bringing them together and the earnestly of Regina’s apologize seemingly touched them. For a few moments everyone was silent Regina throwing an uncertain glance at Robin but before he could speak up Little John walked towards her. Robin went tense for a moment but then he saw the smile on his best friend’s face.

“Apology accepted Your Majesty.” Well Robin didn’t expect that and judging by Regina’s utterly surprised expression neither did she. “You are accepting my apology really?”

“I never in my entire life heard a royal saying that he or she was sorry. You did and yes you might have more to be sorry for then most of them but you still did. I can’t promise you that we’ll forgive you or when but I can promise you that we will try. For Roland and Robin’s sake and for the sake of second chances. Everyone here got one so you deserve one too.”

Robin watched everything with amazement not capable to stop grinning. His grin turned into a big smile when John reached out for Regina’s hand and into a beaming one when she took it. “We are also sorry for Arthur as much you actions were out of line so were his. He betrayed his code of honor to always treat a woman with respect and we are asking you to accept our apology too Your Majesty.”

Robin came closer as he saw how tears gather in Regina’s eyes but she breath in deeply and seemed to composed herself again. Not wanting to interrupt the moment Robin stopped shortly before her ready to intervene if necessary.

“You ... you…apologize to me?” there was it again the vulnerability the hint of that utter surprise Regina always had if somebody did something nice and it almost killed Robin. To know that that likely meant she hadn’t known much kindness in her life. His best friend seemingly came to the same conclusion squeezed Regina’s hand and said:” Yes Your Majesty we do. Do you accept?”

Regina seemed so touched by it that she didn’t say something for few moments showing the men finally the woman behind the mask and then:” Yes I do. Thank you.” And a shy smile appeared on her face as John shook her and. Then again there was silence so Robin walked towards Regina to bring her back to the tent as Little John suddenly turned around smiling back at her and asked:” After everything that happened the men and I thought to make a little celebration tonight. Just some talking, a glass of met and a bit music. Do you want to join us You Majesty?”

Robin saw how Regina went tense despite the kind words and his alarm bell rang. His friend somehow (but how?) must have upset Regina who now was staring at Little John as if he had grown a second head seemingly searching for something as she kept his gaze on him. But before Robin knew what had happened Regina relaxed again whatever she thought John’s motives were she seemed to accept that his offer was genuine (damn how bloody awful had it to be to always check if somebody was working their own agenda or was just nice)

“You don’t have to do that like I said its fine.” Regina smiled but this time it didn’t reach her eyes but before she could leave John spoke up again: “It would be an honor Your Majesty, truly.”

Regina seemed to debate for a moment but after seeing how open (jesus he didn’t know what was going on why his men tried to win Regina over but damn did it make him happy) and friendly everyone looked at her she slowly nodded and then her false smile turned into an honest one:” Well if that’s the case the honor is mine. Thank you for the invention.”

“Good since that is settled how about you lazy idiots get movin’ so our Queen won’t complain about what lousy cooks we are and how horrible our taste it.” Robin was relieved that John only tried to light up the mood and winked at Regain and even more as Regina laughed and mumbled:” You’ll better.”

“Well well men you heard the Queen let’s go. Till later Your Majesty.” Robin threw a grateful glance at his old friend who only winked at him too and grinned. For a man built like a bear Little John deep down was a softy and somehow seemed to get a liking at the other side of Regina.

Robin walked towards Regina taking her hand but before he could pull her towards their tent she turned around and said sounding so much younger than she actually was:” Regina” “What?” Little John looked at her confused. “My name you imbecile. You can call me Regina not Your Majesty.” John’s confused frown turned into a warm smile when he replied.” Then till later _Regina_.”

Regina nodded and then let herself get pulled by Robin to their tent. Shortly before they entered the tent where Roland soundly played one of his games while waiting for them Robin tugged her closer to him. “I’m so proud of you Regina.” Regina beamed at Robin at his words letting him pull her closer and stroking a hair strand softly behind her ear. “So incredibly proud milady.”

Regina was about to come up with a witty reply as Robin crashed his lips onto hers first softly and then full of passion only stopping when both of them were in danger to suffocate by the lack of oxygen.

When they parted Robin took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles which made her giggle no not giggle, chuckle a Queen does not giggle under no circumstances. “Thank you, “ was all that Regina could get out and when their eyes found each other his blue ones looking so proud and kind at her that Regina couldn’t stop grinning.

She made him proud she didn’t fail she did well. Before they could get lost in each other’s eyes a little boy ran once again towards them shouting that it was finally time to play with the bow and arrow.

Regina and Robin looked at each other then laughed softly and followed the young boy in the woods to play.

They spent the rest of the day playing with Roland while stealing kisses in between simply enjoying a day who had almost ended catastrophic. When the sun was about to sink Robin called his boy to them and together they waked to the bonfire Robin’s men had already prepared. Everyone was busy trying to get everything ready, the soft sound of a guitar was heard and the smell of wine and warm bread made them move closer.

Regina was rather tense at the beginning but it didn’t take long for her to feel surprisingly relaxed. Little John had welcomed her with a soft smile immediately shoving her and Robin gently towards the table lifting Roland up and telling him to say them goodnight. To the amazement of everyone (the playing really must have worn the boy out) Roland went without complaints kissed Regina on the cheek with an already sleepy:” Night Gina gonna miss you.” And a tight hug for his father.

Robin only put his arm around Regina and guided her towards a nice place next to the fire. Even if she wouldn’t admit it to Robin she had been slightly scared about tonight. All men had been at least somewhat friendly (well she had no idea where Arthur was so…) but still having a nice evening with the Evil Queen between them? Regina was still tense despite John’s kind welcoming. Taking a deep breath and another reassuring push from Robin Regina sat down next to him letting him pull her closer.

“Everything is alright Regina just relax.” Robin whispered softly into her ear and she tried to let the anxiety go to just relax. Regina nodded when suddenly George stood in front of her.

She inhaled sharply already prepared to pull up her walls but he only sat next to her and handed a glass full of a red fluid to her.” No worries its only wine Regina it’s too early in the evening for a murder attempt .” Regina took ,a bit thrown off by this words the wine and as she realized that he was actually joking ( but she slowly could see the fear rise in his eyes) she laughed. “Good to know,” she winked at George who winked back and then:” Thank you…I think.”

“You are very welcome, “George grinned at her and soon started to make one joke after another a few Merry Men joining them and before Regina could comprehend what was happening she was surrounded by Merry Men laughing ,talking, joking.

And all the time Robin’s arm never left her always rubbing comforting up and down her spine kissing her softly (she didn’t really like public display of affection) which she let happen after the third of fourth cup of wine. Not that she was drunk just pleasantly tipsy (it took quite some effort to make a Queen drunk something these men just seemed to realize) always making sure she was fine. For the first time in ages Regina felt happy and safe and cared for. A feeling that was almost a stranger to her. She never really had friends who sat around a fire with her and simply talked and had fun.

She hadn’t someone who always made sure she was alright made sure she had a pleasant time. It was nice very nice actually. Just usually that meant it won’t last. It never had but tonight Regina didn’t want to think what bad could happen ( was very likely to happen) and simply enjoyed to be surrounded by people who for whatever reason seemed to start liking her or at least not hating her.

Robin bit his lip to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. And he was failing miserably. But who could blame him? He was sitting next to a beautiful smart and witty woman who wanted to be his. His friends seemed to finally accepted Regina and everyone had an amazing time. He could see how is friends warmed up to the stunning woman next to him could see how she was becoming a part of them.

Watching how Regina giggled at one of George’s jokes, how fascinated she listened to one of Tuck’s stories about the past and how Regina and John exchanged more than one soft smile made his heart flutter.

He was happy so happy. “Robin, hey Robin.” Robin was pulled out of his thoughts as Regina gently gripped at his arm. “What were you thinking? You looked like you were 100 miles far away.” Regina asked him but Robin only soothed her hair back and kissed her, once ,twice and then whispered:” I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you.” Robin had to chuckle as Regina flushed and for a second tears were shimmering in her eyes but then she was the one pulling him closer kissing him till both were breathless (he tried to ignore the amused whispered comments of his friends)

Then suddenly there was music, some of his men were playing and it sounded rather nice. So Robin took Regina’s hand into his and pulled her up with him.

“Do you care to dance milady?” Robin asked her with a little bow. When Robin looked up he saw her dark wonderful eyes were sparkling with joy. She then whispered softly:” Yes” and that was enough for Robin to tighten his hold on her and guide her to a place a bit further away from the bonfire. Robin gently put his hand on her hip tugging her close.

Regina’s nose scrunched up she clearly was highly concentrated and that sight might be the most adorable thing Robin ever witnessed. Despite being cute Robin wanted her to relax so he softly led her and soon he was twirling her around on the dancefloor making her giggle and laugh from the bottom of her heart and it was bliss. Seeing her so carefree dancing with him moving with him and stealing once again soft kissed in between.

Robin spun her around wildly but always catching her (it was simply dancing but once again Robin could see trust in her eyes trust that he would catch her every time) “You have fun Your Majesty?” Robin asked her coyly biting softly at her earlobe. “You are a rather surprisingly good dancer thief,” Regina replied with a smirk. “Likewise milady.”

As soon as the music went slower Robin put his arm around her and Regina laid her head on his shoulder. They moved slow- going simply enjoying being close to each other, hearing the music. Robin couldn’t believe his luck as she looked at the stunning woman in his arms dancing in step. Robin tenderly kissed her hairline savoring the feeling of them moving together over the ground. Bloody hell Regina was so gorgeous he couldn’t take his eyes of her. As they were dancing Robin’s mind wandered to them or more specific to his fingers inside her when they were in the woods, her moaning, screaming his name. God she had been a picture cheeks rosy from arousal, her hair tousled, she had been so beautiful and sexy very sexy.

Robin had to bit his lip as he felt himself becoming hard. Just the thought of her could make him crazy but Robin tried to rip himself out of his thoughts back to reality (which involved very close dancing with said tempting woman…wasn’t really helping his problem) but he had promised her to wait , wait till she was ready.

Regina was happy really truly happy at the moment where Robin had pulled her in his arms and danced with her. Robin spun her around to the music and she never felt so carefree like she did now. Just be held by him moving in step, feeling each other close. The Merry Men were rather talented musicians to Regina’s surprise and she really enjoyed the fast and warm melodies of the guitars and flutes.

It had been ages since someone asked her to dance. Her dear dead husband usually had less interest in her unless it involved warming his bed and being shown around like a pretty doll to his friends and other ruling Kings. But he never had taken her hand and led her to the dancefloor never told her he was proud of her damn he never even asked her how she was. Not once in over ten years of marriage he showed any concern or care for her wishes or her well-being.

He had treated her like a possession like some nice toy he could praise himself with. Regina knew that she was beautiful the only compliment the King had ever made her. Not that it meant much coming from him. Regina thought about the many balls she had been sitting on the sidelines watching her husband and his precious daughter dancing, laughing.

She often just snuck out to the ballroom trying to let the fresh air, the stars sooth her lonely broken heart. It never really worked to ease the pain but it was better than sitting alone knowing that nobody gave a damn about you as long you put on a nice dress, far too heavy earing which hurt her ears and a sweet smile. Pretending to be a happy Queen grateful for all her dear husband was doing for her. God she really hoped that bastard burnt in hell.

But when she felt Robin tugging her closer biting softly on her earlobe she pushed Leopold out of her mind trying to only focus on the man in front of her. The man who tried everything so she could have a lovely evening. And she did. For the first time in many years Regina felt cared for, cherished. To her utter surprise not just Robin but also the Merry Men had gone to great lengths to make sure she was comfortable and even thought she really didn’t understand why they were so nice she relished in the fact that they did.

The music now was slower softer and being next to the fire under the stars made it to the likely most romantic day Regina ever had. (sneaking away in the middle of the night for dance with Daniel had been rather an impossible task not that Regina didn’t try it but…)

Regina felt so content and happy that she couldn’t stop smiling. If it were up to her she would stay like this forever. Dancing and in Robin’s arms. Well till she felt something different. Something that made her chuckle softly. Despite being surrounded by Robin’s friends and the rather soft music playing Regina could feel Robin going hart against her thigh. So so her dear thief was apparently ready for a second round. Not that he was doing or saying anything in that matter only kept dancing with her stroking over her hair kissing it softly.

He promised her to wait till she was ready so he didn’t pursue his clear shown desire of her. Regina‘s heart fluttered at the thought that he would push his own needs away so she could feel comfortable, safe. If she would tell him she didn’t want to he would back off. There was no pressure, no force and that was something Regina never had before in her life.

So she kissed him a bit more heated than the ones they shared before but still rather innocent. There were still a huge amount of Merry Men around them and Regina wasn’t planning in giving them a show. At least not that kind of.

So she whispered into Robin’s ear while stroking up and down his back:” Let’s go back to our tent thief. I like to do bit more than only dancing.” Regina’s voice had become seductive and a mischievous grin on her face. Robin jaw dropped and Regina could feel how his breathing had gone uneven. Which affected Regina more than she liked to admit. Feeling how she got aroused feeling herself getting wet. “Are you sure milady?” Robin asked her rather breathlessly.

Regina answered by moving her hand to his ass and pinched him only for a few seconds carefully that nobody was watching but it did the job. Robin smirked at her grabbed her hand and told his men that it had been a long day and it was time for them to go to bed. Most of the men couldn’t hide their smirk and Little John had to bit his lips not to let a likely rather snarky comment escape (in a very subtle matter Regina thought with a roll of her eyes)

Regina waved everyone goodnight and shortly after they entered their tent Regina turned around and crashed her lips onto Robin’s so hard both of them almost lost balance. Soon Robin had pulled his arms around her returning her kiss as fiercely as she did, his hand roaming up and down her body. Both deepened the kiss both moaning into each other’s mouth.

When they parted Regina was disappointed at the lack of contact but only as long as she felt Robin’s mouth on her neck pressing kisses down, nibbling again at her earlobe. His hand moved to her breast pinching them again through the fabric. Regina whimpered as he tugged on nipple a bit harder:” Yes Robin.” God she was so wet and he had barely touched her by now and touching through the dress just didn’t do it right now.

So Regina took Robin’s hand into hers leading him towards the bed. There she pushed Robin onto it straddling him as soon as he sat. Regina once again claimed his mouth kissing him sucking at his upper lip feeling how Robin’s hand went into her hair pulling her closer holding her in place.

Regina then started grinding against him rolling her hips in fast movements hearing Robin groan into her mouth. Then Robin’s hands once again found their way to her breasts stroking them pinching them and now it was Regina who moaned and hissed at this touch. She then could feel his hands moving down her back till he reached her ass pulling her sharply against him. She could feel his erection who now was exactly in line with her clit and god the pressure was just perfect.

Regina began to move faster trying to stifle back a rather unladylike _uhh_ but damn it felt so good. There was only one problem. Both of them were clearly overdressed. So Regina stopped and so did Robin immediately but not being able to hid his disappointed frown.

So Regina only kissed passionately and whispered :” I don’t know about you but I think we are wearing far too much don’t you think so?” Robin then chuckled and moved his hands to open up her dress. But Regina shook her head leaving Robin once again confused:” Regina what…?” but before he could ask his question Regina waved her hand and both of them were naked.

Regina had to laugh as Robin ‘s eyes went big and his jaw dropped once again:” Bloody hell you are without any doubt the most beautiful gorgeous woman in all the realms.” Regina couldn’t stop herself from blushing. Not that she hadn’t heart those words before but never with such honesty such amazement. Which only made her even slicker between her thighs than she already had been. Not that he was the only one who was taken aback a bit.

Regina knew Robin was an attractive man but wow seeing him naked only shown her that he wasn’t just handsome but rather breathtaking attractive. Not that Regina hadn’t been already fully taken by his blue eyes and his dimples (god those dimples really were her weakness) but his body…let say she sure she was going to enjoy it not to mention that he was rather well equipped under the waistline.

Regina only whispered a soft “Thank you” but then her gaze landed on Robin’s right wrist or to be more specific on the bandage. “Robin what happened?”

Robin followed her gaze to his wrist pulling her closely to him and mumbling:” Little accident nothing to worry about.” Before Regina could say anything else Robin grabbed her softly and flipped them both so Regina was lying on the bed and he atop of her. He once again started to kiss her first her soft lips then moving to her neck pressing kisses down till he reached her collarbone. “Are you still sure you want this Regina?” Robin asked her. Sure she was moaning and hissing her eyes full with lust but he still wanted to be sure. Sure that he didn’t cross a line. “Touch me Robin now.”

Well that answered his question and who was he to disobey his Queen? So Robin smirked and then did what he wanted to do for days. One of his hands cupped her breast (bloody hell he had been dreaming about her perfect formed breast for days and now touching them made him almost painfully hard) massaging it gently while his mouth found its way to her nipple sucking it softly till Regina moaned a “Harder Robin please” So Robin added more pressure rolling one nipple harder between his fingers while gazing his teeth over the other. As he felt Regina’s hand in his hair tugging him closer to her breast hissing he went again a bit rougher but also searching for any discomfort on her part.

But she only arched into his touch gripping his hair tightly moaning his name softly.

Robin then abandoned on of her breast chuckling at her disappointed frown pressing his lips shortly onto hers and moving his hand further down stroking over her wetness (god she was so wet so wonderful he couldn’t wait to be inside her). He first stroked at the inside of her thighs not touching her where she really wanted it until he heard an annoyed “Thief fingers now.” Just to tease her Robin continues to stroke her everywhere but where she really wanted him. “Robin please” Robin had to chuckle hearing her voice tight with lust so he decided to have mercy with her.

He then he sunk a finger into her watching her carefully all the time but she only moaned louder rocking into his touch. So he paced up the speed pumping in and out of her soon adding a second finger. Like back in the woods Robin couldn’t get enough from watching Regina writhe and whimper at his touch. He then slowly added a third finger while his thumb rubbed circles on her clit.

If Robin’s body hadn’t kept reminding him of his own needs he could’ve done this to her forever watching her fall apart at his hand was rather hot. “Robin please harder I’m so close. “ Robin debated for a moment to tease her little while longer but in the end his own lust won so he added even more pressure picking up the space while his mouth found her nipple again sucking hard.

Regina was in heaven. Robin’s finger inside her his mouth on her breast god it felt so good. He was working magic down there and she was already so close to the edge moaning her hips rocking against his hand on their own accord. God she was about to come feeling the warmth in her belly and with a well-aimed rub on her clit she finally fell over. Orgasm crushing down on her breathtaking wonderful god she couldn’t think only feel , feel Robin’s finger move feeding her orgasm feeling that wonderful wonderful man god why was she ever mean to him? They could’ve done this sooner and oh god she is still coming and its wonderful and she almost blacked out hearing Robin’s voice telling her how beautiful she it , to come for him , to let go and oh she does.

She then is finally calming down feeling Robin’s lips on hers and then his blue eyes met her dark one :” Are you alright milady?” Regina smiled softly at him whispering:” More than alright” pulling him close kissing him fiercely. She then could feel his erection again against her thigh and she knew if she would say stop now he would. But it had been amazing and she felt save, cared for, loved so it was her this time who moved her hand lower wrapping it around his cock stroking up and down. Watching him hissing at her touch closing his eyes seemingly enjoying the attention. Till he suddenly grabbed her hand softly pulling her away. Regina looked at him in confusion. “Robin I’m alright it’s your turn:”

But Robin only kissed her again then telling her:” If you sure you still want to I rather prefer coming inside you unless you changed your mind?”

Regina then chuckled softly pulling him towards her and whispering seductively in his ear:” No I didn’t so outlaw are you ready to fuck a Queen?”

Robin almost came right now at her words, at the tone of her voice god damn this woman was sometimes almost too much so he only kissed her passionately and situation himself between her thighs. “As you wish Your Majesty.” He then pushed into her and then all the could think was wow. She felt even more amazing than he thought she would. Her warm and wet heat surrounding him and it was like he had found home. Yes being inside her felt like he had finally found something he was looking for his entire life. “You are alright?” Robin looked questioning at Regina who only hissed:” Fuck me Robin now”

“Always so bossy milady.” Robin chuckled and then began stroking into her. Robin was breathing heavy pulling her legs up higher and at her moaned “Harder Robin” he finally lost it. He started to pound into her faster harder mumbling a “You feel so bloody good” She was so wet and when she moaned his name loudly his thrust became faster his fingers finding her clit making her whimper. God he was already so close watching her falling apart made him harder than ever was but he wanted to hold out for her making her come for him first.

So he added more pressure on her clit sucking once again a nipple between hit teeth and as he moved a bit changed the angle he could her hear gasp:” Yes there Robin don’t stop god right there.” He seemed to found just the right spot driving her mad with his thrust (not only her) and then he felt her walls clenching encouraging her to come and then she did. She came with a loud scream only muffled by his mouth on hers ( well the Merry Men weren’t too far away ) and then he followed soon after her emptying himself inside her when his orgasm hit him.

They stayed like this for a moment and then Robin slipped out of her kissing her softly. “Everything alright Regina?” But she stayed silent making Robin anxious did he in the end still crossed the line?

“Regina?” but then she suddenly looked up at him dark eyes so full of trust and amazement and this time she was the one pressing her lips onto his whispering a “Thank you” which made Robin’s heart clench for a moment. He then pulled her into his arms kissing her temple softly as she mumbled “You are quite skilled for a thief.”

Robin only smirked and said:” I had to pleasure a Queen I had to give my best.” Both smiled at each other and then Regina laid her hand onto Robin’s chest while he pulled the cover over them. “Sleep milady it was a long day.” Robin moved his hand up and down her back and for a few moments there was only silence and then his eyes were already closed:” I’ve never felt more safe than I did with you.” It was an almost shy admission but one which broke Robin’s heart once again.

So he only tugged her closer pressing soft kisses on her hair telling her with all sincerity:” You’ll always be safe with me Regina I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” He felt Regina nod and whispering “Good night Robin” he then told her the same holding her tight. While listening how her breaths got more even and before sleep took him to he vowed to himself that he would protect that wonderful stunning woman in his arms…protecting her at all costs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys hope everyone is having a great week. We are having a lot of tension in this chapter Regina and Robin having a bit of a rough path. But after the rain comes the sun right? (If I’m writing to cheesy right now I’m sorry I have a fever and probably shouldn’t be writing in the first place ;))  
> Well whatever I hope you like this chapter and please review!!! I really love your comments and ideas <3 As always I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made (if there are more than usual please keep in mind I’m running a fever :p)

Robin woke up by a noise. At first he didn’t want to open his eyes just to content with having her close to him holding Regina in his arms but then he heard it again. Robin then carefully sat up and got up not to wake the stunning woman next to him and looked around.

Regina was still sleeping deeply so Robin slowly walked out the tent going around it searching for anyone who didn’t belong here. He stood there for a few minutes not moving only waiting and then he thought he seen something but before he could go after it something different interrupted the silence of the night.

Regina’s whimpers and soft cries so Robin immediately turned around running back to her the noise he heard long forgotten. As he again was next to her she was throwing herself from one side to the other and then she cocked out a “No Robin please no” and it sounded desperate almost pleading. So Robin laid next to her and softly shook her shoulder like he had done many times before trying to get her to wake up from whatever nightmare was hurting her. “Regina love come on wake up. Everything is fine just open your eyes,” Robin whispered soothingly into her ear while his hand stroke up and down her arm.

After a few shakes using more force Regina finally woke up tears clinging to her lashes her whole body trembling “Robin?” her voice quite the turmoil so clearly recognizable in her dark eyes.” I’m here Regina everything is fine.” As the first tear escaped Robin only gathered her into his arms holding her tight and for the second time today she was sobbing in his arms. She likely was thinking the same because just a few moments later she withdrew herself from him and laid back down.” Regina what …?”

“I’m fine Robin it was just a nightmare don’t worry about it.” With those words she turned around not facing him anymore. Robin knew what she was doing he had seen her _weak_ (weak in her mind not his)more often than likely everyone else still breathing on his own had and this apparently crossed a line. He could almost feel how she was closing up again walls rising slowly but that was something he would not let happen. “ Regina I…” “Robin I said I’m fine no shut up and go back to sleep unless you want me to make you shut up for you and that won’t be pleasant for either of us.” Her voice was low almost a dangerous growl.

Alright he was wrong the walls weren’t slowly raising they were already sky high up if she was channeling the Evil Queen again even if just in a soft version. Well but since he didn’t scare easily and by now was rather good in looking straight through her Robin only shrugged and then reached over her to find her hand lying his above hers (which was still slightly trembling but he chose to ignore that) and asked quietly :” What was the dream about Regina?”

“Nothing forget about it.” Regina’s reply was muffled by the way she pressed her face into the pillow. “No.” Robin’s voice was firm at his words he wouldn’t let her either shut him out nor let her dealing with her pain by herself.

“What? How dare you…” Regina hissed now turning around glaring at him. “How dare I what? Care for you? Well yes milady than I’m guilty as charged. I can see that you are hurting and I’ll like to help.” Robin mumbled his fingers now caressing over the exposed skin at her shoulder.

“Robin I said its nothing. So be quite or I will…” “Or you will what? Turn me into a toad? Burn me till I Iook like a charred crisp chicken? We both know you won’t do that and…”

“Oh won’t I? And what makes you so sure of that thief?” Regina snapped at him. “Because Regina you would’ve done it long ago. Which tells me that you actually want to talk about it and I’ll listen.”

Regina now stayed silent only looking at Robin who gently stroke a hair strand behind her ear:” I am you partner from now on and there is nothing you have to hide from me, nothing that could stop me from thinking you are the strongest bravest woman in all the realms. But Regina if we really do this, I mean _us_ and when Roland and I leave our home to build a new one with you I need you to try trusting me and not shutting me out. We are in this together milady. Your fears are my fears and your problems are my problems alright?”

Robin waited still petting her hair gently as she finally whispered:” I’m sorry Robin.””Shus love it’s alright just try to let me in alright?” Robin softly pressed his lips onto Regina’s staying there for a moment not to deepen the kiss but to show her that he wasn’t going anywhere. Then:” Alright I’ll try.” Regina said her eyes full of fear but Robin could also see it, see the trust he was asking from her. “That all I ask for milady. So are you now gonna tell me what this dream was about?”

Regina swallowed hard despite seeing only love and care in Robin’s eyes she was scared. It had been so long that someone wanted to make sure she was alright told her they were her partner in this crazy painful game called life. For the first time in forever Regina trusted someone fully and with al her heart. Robin didn’t need to try to win her trust he already had it but still…it meant quite a big deal to her to open up to people.

But with Robin it was easier. He only listened (had done it every single day since he had found her in the woods) to her hadn’t judged hadn’t looked at her in disgust but also didn’t pity her. He only listened.

So Regina bit her lip and then lifted her head up to look at Robin. To look at those kind warm blue eyes which now were looking encouraging at her.” The dream was about you and mother.” Robin now took both of her hands into his waiting for her to continue. “It generally was just a repeat from Daniel’s death only this time it was you and she said…” Regina had to fight to withhold her tears as Robin gently asked;” And she said what?”

Regina breathed in and out trying to push the image out of her head. The image of Robin dead at her feet his heart crushed to ash and her mother standing next to her laughing telling her the one thing she never forgot in her life.” She said _love is weakness Regina I thought you knew that by now.”_

Regina’s voice almost broke at the last words but Robin and his constant rubbing of circles over her hands centered her, comforted her, anchored her. So she continued:” She was just laughing and you were dead and I..I…I can’t Robin I can’t lose you and I’m asking myself what if mother was right? What if love is weakness?”

“Regina love isn’t weakness…,”but before Robin could finish Regina interrupted him:” Isn’t it? Every time I l felt love it destroyed me a little bit more. Daniel, mother, daddy dammit even Snow. All had my heart and crushed it. Love only brought me suffering and…” Now it was Robin who interrupted her:” Regina that is not true.” “Yes it is. Sometimes I ask myself if it is really worth it.” Regina was now sobbing again trying to make him understand, make him understand that love never served her well and likely never would.

“How were you feeling when I kissed you the first time? How were you feeling when Roland told you he wished you would never leave him? How were you feeling when we made love tonight? Was this all so bloody dreadful?”

Regina looked at him in shock not understanding why he was upset all of the sudden.” No Robin it…it was wonderful. I was never so happy then I was in this last few days.” Robin tightened his grip on her hand as he told her:” There you have you answer milady. Yes love can bring you pain and suffering but it also creates something far more precious. It creates happiness and even if we lost the ones we love they never leave us completely they always stay in our hearts.” Robin now put his hands gently on her chest there where her small dark heart laid.

“The love we feel for other people changes us it makes us to better human beings and despite the fact that losing you would hurt like hell I wouldn’t want to give up the feelings I have for you or the ones I had for Marian, the moments we share, the wonderful memories we create , the family we are building. I cherish every moment of it and I’m grateful for every second I can spend with you and my son. I’m grateful for every moment I could spent with Marian and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything in the world. Not for power and not even for the bliss to never feel the pain of loss.”

Regina starred at Robin trying to take in what he just told her. It sounded nice to see it that way but when she thought about what the loss of love , of being _weak_ turned her into …:” But Robin it also makes you vulnerable a target. I have many enemies and none of them would be able to break me. Not matter what they would do to me. They tried it often enough. But you Robin you and Roland you could…” Regina knew she didn’t have to complete her sentence Robin understood. He and his son had the power to destroy the Queen her love for him (not that she was ready to admit that yet) could break her, break her beyond repair this time. And it was her fault she had given him so much power of her.

“Yes we could Regina but we can also make you stronger. The magic you used to save my life was different, stronger why do you think that was? Roland’s love gave you the strength to go in front of my Merry Men and apologize something you said you never do. But you did, you were stronger than you ever imaged because of what you feel for us.”

Robin now searched for her eyes trying to make sure she understood everything he wanted to tell her:” Regina listen to me. You feel things deeper and more fiercely than anyone I’ve ever met. Love isn’t weakness it is strength. It gives us the strength to fight, to even do the impossible for the people we love. Your mother was wrong so wrong. Please milady try to forget about her words.”

Regina still looked uncertain at him so he cupped her jaw gently and kissed her again tried to put all the love and care he felt for her, all feelings his heart held for her into that kiss. When they parted:” Do you really think this is weakness Regina?” She stayed silent only looking at him and then finally he saw how her lips curved into a smile how her eyes lighted up when she whispered shyly:” No.”

Robin moved closer till their foreheads touched and told her tenderly: “I’m not going to leave you Regina. You’ll never be alone again I make sure of it.” Robin then put his arms around her and they laid down like this, she in his hold her head pillowed on his chest. “You promise?” Her voice was quite Robin almost didn’t hear her.

He knew that he couldn’t promise couldn’t predict life, the future so he only kissed her temple and whispered:” I promise that I’ll do everything in my power and beyond. I’ll never leave you Regina.” With those words said both slowly drifted up to sleep. There still had been many questions Robin liked to ask, questions about Regina’s mother but he knew he had to be careful.

That woman had hurt Regina badly but it was mostly the people we love most were also those who could hurt us the most and there was no doubt in Robin’s mind that Regina truly loved her mother. Even though he wasn’t sure if her mother actually felt the same way.

Nevertheless a not small amount of all really bad nightmares Regina had had been built around her mother and Robin wanted to do anything to ease the pain. With those thoughts on his mind he finally let sleep take him over to exhausted to hear foot-steps around the tent, too tired to feel the danger surrounding them. Thankfully for them that what was out there wasn’t trying to get them… _yet_

Regina woke up soon after the first ray of sunlight shone onto the camp she sighed softly feeling Robin’s arms around her, cocooned , safe, loved. Her nightmare had rattled her rather strongly. She still saw Robin’s lifeless body, her mother’s cold eyes still so clear and vivid it made her shiver.

But Robin was here next to her alive, well, so she only snuggled closer to him smelling the smell of forest she had grown so fond of in the last few days on him. Her fingers traced gently over his cheek and looking at him thinking of their conversation last night, thinking of them Regina was finally admit to herself something her heart had realized long ago.

That foolish handsome thief had stolen her heart. She hadn’t want it to happen, had fought god had she fought it but know while she was looking at his sleeping form her eyes roaming over him taking in every detail she knew she couldn’t deny the truth any longer at least not to herself. She loved him, loved him in a way that scared her beyond everything. Every fiber of her body ached for him, she never had the need to be with someone been that strong not even with Daniel.

She had promised herself it would never happen again that she never open herself up like this , open herself up to pain and sorrow, making herself vulnerable, weak but Robin’s words about the strength that comes with loving someone…

It had made her think, rethink everything her mother had taught her it had let the hope rise that maybe just maybe he was right and that love would be kind to her this time. That their love would be strong enough to overcome even the impossible. Even though none of them had specifically voiced their feelings for each other yet Regina could see it in his eyes. As much she was an open book for him so was he for her. She had seen the love he held for her, the care, the need to protect her every day. He could make her feel loved and cherished like no one else ever had been able to.

He was the one who always stood behind her who supported her and the only help she would accept. Robin had made her laugh had made her feel free and light never pushed never forced her. He made her feel safe and understood knowing that he never would laugh any of her fears off, would never stop believing in her.

Why he did it in the first place was still something Regina couldn’t understand just how many people put their faith in a woman known as the Evil Queen? He had from the first moment their eyes had met he had seen behind the mask had never seen the Queen no matter if evil or not. She had always been Regina to him, just Regina.

For him she didn’t have to play a role to fit his desires he had wanted her, the real her and it made her heart flutter and her lips curving into a big beaming smile. She thought about Daniel thought about the dream she had thought about his words _love again Regina_.

It had only been a dream but what when it was finally time to let go? If Robin was right and mother wrong when love really was strength (and he could be right she never wielded stronger magic than when she saved him, had never felt stronger since she met him and the little boy) maybe she could leave everything behind and be happy maybe…

“A penny for your thoughts love?” Robin’s voice ripped her out of her thoughts and she looked surprised up at him. Robin only tangled his hand into her hair and pulled her to him for a good morning kiss. It was soft and sweet and perfect. “Love are you alright?” Regina only smiled at him nodding:” I’m fine I’m just…I’m just happy that I have you that’ all.” Robin chuckled softly at her words bumping his nose against hers as he sought her lips out for another tender kiss (what did she do to deserve this wonderful kind man?)

”Likewise milady. I do can get used to waking up to a beautiful woman in my arms every morning.” Regina laughed softly shooting a playful glare at him:” You do would like that wouldn’t you?” With those words she kissed him more fiercely this time moving herself on top of him.

Their lips crash onto each other once again and for a few moments they just made out. Heated kisses, promising touches and soft moans. Then Regina lost balance after a rather passionate kiss at her part and only could stop herself from falling very unladylike onto Robin by propping herself up at Robin. Unfortunately she hit his right wrist the one in bandages which he had refused her to heal. He yipped in pain and Regina immediately let go of his arm maneuvering herself next to him.

Robin held his wrist as a stabbing pain went through it bloody hell did it burn. He had by far worse injures than those few scratched but damn that did hurt (and kinda killed the mood) “I’m…I’m so sorry Robin are you alright?” Regina’s concerned voice almost made him throw a snarky response at her to tease her a bit but then their eyes met and all playfulness disappeared from Robin’s thoughts.

She hadn’t hurt him not really and it had been by accident but the guilt he could see in her dark eyes the self-loathing shining and he hurried to take her into his arms kissing her temple and whispering in her ear:” I’m fine milady it’s only a scratch don’t worry about it.” He then kissed her brow and told now still smirking:”But we’ll have to talk about your violent tendencies toward poor me at some point milady.”

Regina looked for a moment still uncertain at him but then a smile appeared on her face when she softly mumbled:” You are an idiot” Which Robin only answered with a:” Yes I am but I’m your idiot.” They both laughed now and he was glad as those whiskey brown eyes looked up at him the self-loathing had vanished (mostly).

“But will you let me heal it now Robin?” She is still smiling but that will be a request Robin had to deny. He didn’t want to her to use magic now (not ever if he was honest he trusted Regina but magic? Not so much) also because of Tucks’ warning, he didn’t want her to overexert herself which was what he told her.

”I’m fine Robin stop fussing.” But Robin had two images in front of him. One was her pale like snow face grimaced in pain when she used her magic to save him. The other, Regina with cold eyes choking the life out of Arthur, the warmth and care gone replaced by the vengeful Evil Queen. Both weren’t really reinforcing his faith in magic.

“Regina I said no. Let’s forget about it, it’s fine.” Those words came out harsher than he intended them to be. He could almost watch how Regina closed off after that. “Alright I only wanted to help.” With those words she laid back down turning away from him. Great job Robin, he thought with a frown.

“Regina I’m sorry I just…” “You just what Robin?” She still wasn’t looking at him. “I just don’t like it if you use magic unless if there is really a need. It takes away your strength and I won’t let you endanger yourself or lose yourself to the darkness again even…” Robin didn’t come further than those words because now Regina snapped around glaring at him in way that remembered him at their first hours spent together.

“You won’t _let me?_ I’ll tell you this one time Robin. You can’t tell me what to do and what not. I’m not your damn property who will bend to your will. I already had that and I will never let it happen again. “Damn that wasn’t going well and Robin feared he just made everything ten times worse. “Regina listen I’ve seen what magic can do, bad things and I only want you to…”

“No I don’t have to listen you do. My magic is a part of me a part I won’t give up for anyone. Because it would be like giving a part of my soul away. I thought you were different , different than all those people who came into my life and only ever took, they ripped pieces away from me parts I’ll never wanted to give away. I thought you would understand that.”

With those words tears now clinging to her lashes Regina jumped up and went to the tent exit and stormed off. “Dammit Regina wait.” Robin ran after her grabbing her softly by her arm. Strong enough to stop her but loose enough so she could get away. “Regina look I’m sorry I…” But she only pulled her arm out of his grasp and hissed:” Go to hell.” She then just ran off straight into the woods.

Little John watched as the Queen walked away clearly more than just a bit angry so the turned around and saw Robin. His friend looked like a kicked puppy so John went to him:” Mate what is going on? What did you do to get her Majesty so pissed? What happened?”

Robin looked at his best friend and shook his head:” What happened is that I’m a bloody idiot.” “Well whatever that means you better move your ass because despite the fact that I kinda like our dear Queen I don’t look forward to spent the rest of my life as a toad because you pissed of a woman with serious anger-management problems and an attitude.” Robin only rolled his eyes at his friends and actually got moving. He started walking but at first there was no sign of Regina. Thankfully years as thief had taught him how to trace people so it didn’t take long for him to find her.

Regina had been furious what the hell did Robin think who he was? Trying to forbid her magic? How dare he. She had felt the anger flowing through her veins, hot and glowing but it was now gone. Replaced by sadness, a heartbreaking resignation. She loved him and she thought he loved her too but nothing mattered if he couldn’t accept that part of her. Magic was tied to her like an organ she couldn’t just stop it , didn’t want to. Regina sat down on a stone and then finally let the tears happen.

They were streaming down her face and the pain was crushing her. Why did she do it? Why did she let him in? But she wouldn’t follow his order already had a husband who treated her like a possession he could to with whatever he wanted. She had vowed to herself that she would never let that happen again. Even if it meant letting Robin go (god just the thought hurt it hurt so much)

Regina was sobbing now, alone and heartbroken like she always had been. Only this time it was even worse (she didn’t think that was possible). She put her head onto her arms and curled herself together trying to contain the pain the crashed hope as she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She snapped up and her eyes met Robins who slowly sat next to her. “What the hell are you doing here?” She hissed at him. God even looking at him hurt she just wanted him to go away (no she wanted him to stay to never leave her but….)

He was an arse a completely idiot and his heart almost broke at her tear stained face at the look in her eyes. She looked defeated, bloody hell even broken and it was his fault. He had to make it right. “Regina I know I’m an idiot and you don’t have to listen to me but I ask you to please hear me out. If you still want me to go away afterward I will.” She seemed to debate for a moment but then she nodded. It was a slight motion he almost missed it.

He searched for her eyes but didn’t touch her. God he wanted to but she needed space he knew that. “I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry I made you feel like you are only a possession to me because Regina this couldn’t be further from the truth. You are you own woman and I didn’t mean to overstep I only was scared to lose you but that isn’t an excuse. I’m sorry truly and it won’t happen again.

She was still silent but Robin knew she was listening to he continued:” And about your magic. I don’t know about it the way you do. I only saw it inflict pain and cost losses. But if it’s a part of you I’ll learn to understand it because I would prefer to die than ever hurt you in that way. I never meant to cause you pain before I was trying to protect you and did a miserable job at it. But I’m asking you to believe me that it never was my intention to control you or make you bent to my will.”

Robin now carefully grabbed Regina’s hand waiting for to withdrew it but since she didn’t he continued:” Whatever is going to happen between us you always have a choice. To leave or to stay. To say yes or no. I won’t force you and if we ever get married you will be my wife but just as much as I will be your husband. A partner not a master and this is a promise I’m giving you now. Whatever happens, happens because it is your choice, whatever you are ready to give to me it will only be by your decision.”

 

He wasn’t sure if it actually was the right moment but he needed her to know before she made any decisions needed her to know what he felt for her: “I love you Regina. I love your will and your strength I would never take this away from you. Because it makes you you, the person I love with all my heart. I love you so much Regina and whatever your choice is I will accept it”

Regina stayed silent for a few more moments and then she crashed her lips onto Robin’s desperate and soft, loving and angry at the same time. She hadn’t wanted to hear his words but had been yearning for some way to sooth her pain to make it not have happened. And then he had come, guilt in his eyes and he had sat next to her. Close but without touching once again understanding her without words knowing she needed the space now.

He had apologized to her something almost no one in her life had been ever done and it had been a sincere one. She could tell it by the way he looked at her the love she had seen the pain it caused him knowing that he had hurt her. She knew his words had been truthfully had at first didn’t no couldn’t believe them but because they were too good to be true but now?

He hadn’t meant to hurt her but he wasn’t the first who did in unintentionally. But he had been the first who was giving her a choice. A choice to leave or to stay. After so many years of other people making choices for her he had given all control over to her.

And then he had said the magical words _. I love you_. Regina couldn’t even describe what those words made her feel. She felt a warmth in her heart a lightness and for the first time in years she was ready to forgive, read to let go. To let go for the thief who made her heart beat faster, who made her feel so loved and cherished, who made her feel safe and home.

Regina almost burst from happiness from emotions flowing through her. But those feelings weren’t painful or raw or burning, they were soft and tender as well as passionate and powerful. Yes she felt fear enough fear to make her hand tremble but for once she was stronger than the anxiety pulling her down. She drew strength from him from his words from his presence.

She had been alone for so long was fighting alone for so long and this was the moment were she realized that Robin had been right and her mother had been wrong. Love wasn’t weakness it was strength, strength he gave her now, he had given her from the start and it was what made her now ready to finally say those words too , to finally overcome her fears, to finally let go of all the anger wearing her down.

Regina took Robin’s hand into hers forehead to forehead and then was finally ready to say it. Ready after she thought everything was burnt to ashes again he brought it back the one thing she so desperately wanted but could never have. Hope

The tears were still there, the fear still lingering, the pain still burning but the love , the trust was bigger when she responded.

“I love you too.”

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people how are you? In this chapter we got smut, very very cute DimpleQueen and DRAMA
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my little story! As always I'm responsible for all mistakes made an don't own anything.  
> Please review my sweets I love your comments!!!  
> If anyone wants to chat about this story or anything else: Twitter:SophiiSunshine or Tumblr:onceuponahappytime

Robin was sure his heart stopped beating for a moment as he heard Regina’s words knowing that she felt the same way…bloody hell he never thought it would happen again. That he would find love again till that stunning dark haired beauty came into his life, his and Roland’s and had stolen both of their hearts in such a short time. He couldn’t stop smiling even as he went forwards kissing her their lips crushing onto each other both desperate to feel the other one.

Robin’s put all his feelings for Regina into that kiss needed her to know how much he loved her how much she changed his life. Sure he loved his son more than everything but after Marian…getting up every day had been a challenge, trying not to blame god and the words for the injustice of her death. He had been alive but he hadn’t been living, not really. He just passed day after day feeling the crushing pain putting on a good face for his boy trying to be mother and father to him knowing that he still wouldn’t be good enough to fill the void Marian’s death left. Till Regina came along

Not that she would ever replace what he and Marian had, not that he ever wanted her to. What he and his late wife had was special but he knew that that what Regina and he were building was different but not less special. A life together, together as family and he couldn’t be more excited. Indeed he knew it wouldn’t be easy loving a woman whose heart was battered and broken like Regina’s was but he had seen her resilience and one thing Robin was aware of since he was a little boy, was that you fight for what is important, you fight every day for it. And Regina was worth every battle.

He gently stroke her hair behind her ear whispering into her ear “I love you so much Regina.” She only answered by claiming his mouth again pushing her tongue inside deepened the kiss, putting her arms around his neck. Robin cupped the back of her neck pulling her closer and with one smooth (more or less) movement Robin was sitting on the ground Regina in his lap their lips never leaving each other.

Robin felt how Regina tucked on his shirt trying to get it over his head and with another fast move his shirt is gone her hand now on his chest roaming up and down.” Regina are you sure?” “Yes I am. Make love to me Robin.” Regina moaned and that was all encouragement Robin needed. He thought he had made a mistake before, thought of losing her , breaking her trust but now seeing the lust, the love and even more important the trust he apparently regained in her dark eyes made him pulling her even closer. Needing to feel her making sure she knew how terrible sorry he was. Robin’s finger found her breasts squeezing them gently his mouth never leaving her soft red lips only stopping to playfully bite on her lower lip, earning a grown from her.

He stroke over her already harden nipple but she shook her head mumbling:” I want to feel you,” and with a wave of her hand the dress had once again disappeared , leaving her only in her panties (well maybe magic wasn’t too bad after all Robin thought with a chuckle) and his mouth immediatelyfound her nipple taking on into his mouth sucking firmly which made Regina moan rather loudly (and not very ladylike and he loved it).

He used his other hand to cup the breast lacking at attention flicking his thumb over her nipple making her arch her back in pleasure, grinding against him. With every move of her hips he could feel how he became harder felt her wetness through his pants. God he couldn’t wait to be inside her again but before there was something else he wanted to do. Wanted for quite some time now. So he stopped touching her: ”Robin what are you doing” but his only response was putting his hand on her hips and urging her to lie down.

As soon as she was on the ground he stroke softly over her thighs making his way to her underwear smirking at her as he pulled it down leaving her bare in front of him. Bloody hell she really was a goddess. His hands roamed up and down her tan thighs parting them. Regina now finally realizing what he was up to said voice slightly shaking: “Robin you don’t have to…” Robin interrupted her with a soft kiss locking at her whispering:” But I want to. Unless you don’t like it?” Robin looked at her waiting for a response while his thumb gazed tenderly over her breast. “I do I just… No forget it.” “Milady if you rather have me do something else. I want you enjoy every second of this and if…”

This time it was Regina who shut him up with a kiss eyes dark as she whispered:” Robin shut up and taste me.” Robin couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he pressed another kiss on her lips mumbling “As milady wishes” making his way down to her breasts again.

Regina was on fire, she didn’t know how Robin did it to make her so riled up with just a few touches , his mouth on her breasts felt beyond amazing. She choked back a moan feeling how he kissed his way down, leaving a trail of wet kisses all over her chest and stomach. Stopping before he could reach the place where she needed him most, where she was wet and slick from arousal, aching to feel him, or his tongue. She was a bit nervous as she felt him moving to her inner thigh. Not because she was afraid he would hurt her she knew he never would and she was sure she never enjoyed sex more than the two times she had been with Robin but using his tongue on her? No men ever succeed in making her come this way.

Sure Leopold only did it to her one time and it wasn’t completely unpleasant, she had only requested it this once after he simply told her afterwards (and it really hadn’t been pleasurable not even enough to get her aroused not that that ever actually happened with her dear former husband) that he wouldn’t do it again that it was beneath him.

Neither the huntsman or the very few knights she welcomed into her chambers had been able to make her come (not that happened often in general ) the only one ever succeeding in it had been Maleficent. The dragon had loved to use her tongue on Regina and had made her reach climax sometimes more than three of four times by only using her mouth in one night. But since then? No one.

Regina was ripped out of her thoughts as Robin bit the inside of her thigh softly drawing all her attention back to him. He pressed now kisses up her thigh stopping shorty where she needed him most making her groan:” Robin please,” which made Robin chuckle. “Patience milady.”

Regina gasped as she finally felt Robin’s tongue swiping over her clit the pleasure flowing through her. But it wasn’t like he would give her yet what she wanted that bastard. He withdrew his mouth almost immediately from her clit licking all the way up from her opening to her clit with long slow strokes. God did it feel good Regina cried out writhing in pleasure. Flicking his tongue against her in quick but firm movements which made Regina rock against him moaning loudly.

Apparently Robin’s tongue was as talented as his cock or fingers. He then pushed his tongue inside her and sucked at her with a passion Regina never experienced and oh god she could feel the pressure building but it wasn’t enough not yet not as long as he stayed away from her clit. He really was a bastard:” Robin I need... ,“ but Robin didn’t let her finish instead he pushed a finger inside her making her back arch of in pleasure. “Oh god.”

He soon added a second finger and Regina was now panting rocking into his touch trying to speed up the movement feeling how her climax approached fast. How did he always could bring her to the edge that soon?

Regina whimpered moaning his name over and over again:” Robin please I’m close.” For a moment Robin stopped and Regina feared he would continue to tease her (god damnit she needed some friction to her clit or she would explode) but then Robin only sunk his head between her legs taking (finally!) her clit into his mouth and sucked while pumping his fingers in and out, increasing the speed.

And oh god Regina couldn’t stop her hips from bucking against him and he kept sucking and licking adding more and more pressure on her clit and oh god it felt wonderful and Regina knew she was now just on the edge ready to spill over at every time ,her hand tangled into Robin’s hair and the entire world was spinning. Pleasure was building ,her walls tightening and then with one finale firm suck orgasm crashed down on her.

She screamed as the pleasure ripped through her and her body tensed as she came shouting Robin’s name over and over. Said Robin only kept licking at her drawing out her orgasm till she had calmed down.

Robin had groaned at the taste of her, sweeter and better than he ever imagined (and he had pictured it a lot) and he had tried to do his best just only taken aback by her short hesitation but as soon as he had been sure there was no fear in her eyes only desire he had paid his entire attention to making her come. Which she did rather loudly and Robin couldn’t surpass a smug grin well he just made a Regina scream a Queen nonetheless. “Regina?”

She had become silent after she had recovered from her orgasm but before he could say anything else she grabbed him and whispered:” Fuck me outlaw” and Robin obeyed. With one smooth movement he pushed inside of her earing another low moan from her. His head got fuzzy finally feeling her tight heat and oh bloody hell if felt amazing and soon he was increasing his thrust making them both cry out in pleasure and within a (disappointing ) short time both of them came, he with a loud groan Regina with a quieter moan.

Robin pulled her closer to him as soon both of them caught their breathe. He gently kisses her temple mumbling softly:” I love you Regina.” He could feel how she came even closer pillowing her head on his chest as she whispered:” I love you too.”

They stayed like this for a few minutes simply enjoying each other and then:” I really liked it Robin.” Robin was about to reply with a snarky comment but was stopped by the slight shaking of her voice so he only kissed her hairline and said gently:” Glad you approved milady. I do really enjoy making you scream my name.” That comment did earn him a punch but her smile made it worth it.

When both of their stomachs grumbled they finally let go of each other walking back to the camp (as soon they stood their hands found each other) hungry chatting about what they needed to pack , when they would leave the camp to get to her castle (in about two days) laughing throwing smitten looks at each other. A normal couple simply enjoying a walk in the woods.

Well till a little boy with dimples ran towards them crushing into Regina (yes Robin had realized in the last few days that his son fondness of Regina was almost greater than his own if that was even possible)

“Gina come on I need to show you something.” Dragging her with him Regina only threw a smile at Robin letting her little knight taking her with him. Soon they reached Roland’s tent.” Wait here.” Regina had to chuckle at the boy’s excitement. Just a few seconds later Roland came back holding something behind his back. “Roland what do you got there?” Regina asked getting down to be on eye level with the little boy. “Papa said we are gonna leave soon for your castle. So I wanted to make something of us but being here. Here were we met and…” Roland’s words were cut off by a cough attack.” Roland honey are you alright?” Regina asked stroking through the boy’s hair concerned.” Fine Gina. Here I made this for you.”

Regina took the paper Roland was holding realizing that it was a drawing, a drawing the little lad clearly made himself and it was the most beautiful gift Regina ever received. She barely was capable of holding back the tears as her eyes fell on the picture, the picture of her, Robin and Roland standing in front of something that likely should represent a tent. All of them holding hands looking happy and content. They were surrounded by some of the Merry Men as well as a few trees, flowers and of course raspberries (at least Regina guessed the big pink forms were raspberries) but all of that wasn’t what was seriously tempering with Regina’s ability to compose herself.

It was what Roland had written down, three words which were over the three people representing them. Roland, Papa and _Mama_ , he had written Mama over the drawing of her. “Roland I…” but she couldn’t keep the tears at bay anymore as she pulled him into her lap. “ Gina I never had a Mama and if you don’t want to be mine that is…is alright but Papa and Little John are always reading stories to me and all the children they have a Mama and…”

“And what Roland?” Regina’s voice was now tight with tears. “My Mama is dead and I always wanted a Mama too but I never met anyone who could be it. But you Gina… you tuck me in, you play with me, you can make me not scared anymore and I love you and if I could choose from all the people in the whole wide world I would chose you to me my Mama. So Gina do you want to be my Mama?” His voice quite almost shyly and Regina was now seriously crying her battered dark heart bursting from love and joy as she kissed the head of the little boy in front of her.

A long time ago she made sure she never ever became a mother. Too scared that she would screw it up, that she would be like her mother, destroying her child instead of giving him or her all the love it deserved. Being so sure that no one would ever love her, sure that she was condemned to a life of loneliness and suffering and here she was, here this little boy sitting on her lap asking her if she wanted to be his mother. Wanted to. Not forced to be, not like Snow had demanded from her (and oh god did she hate that girl and damnit how much did her heart arched for the little girl with the big green eyes) but mother by her own free choice.

The words were out before Regina could stop them:” Yes Roland I like to be your Mama.” “Really?” Big brown eyes were looking hopefully at her as she nodded:” Yes Roland it would be an honor.” Roland pulled her into a thigh hug which Regina returned just as fiercely. She knew she meant every word, she loved that boy and she was ready to do whatever was necessary to protect him, to make sure he was happy, to make sure he grew up different that she did.

Loved and cherished, never to have the feeling not to be good enough, to not be cared for. Roland would never know what it meant to be only the means to an end, he would be the center of their lives, Robin’s and hers.

“Hey everything alright with my two favorite people in all the realms?” Robin’s voice came from behind then his arms coming around them pulling both into his embrace, his lips pressing feather-light kisses on Regina’s hairline. “Papa I asked Regina to be my Mama and she said yes.” Roland seemed so happy and excited that it warmed both Robin and Regina’s heart beyond words. “She did my boy? That really is an honor.” Robin muttered his eyes searching for Regina’s throwing a loving glance at her beaming almost as much as his son did.

“We are a family now right?” Roland asked quietly cuddling closer to the woman he from now on would call his mother. “Yes Roland we are.” Robin said stroking gently over his son’s cheek, his other hand caressing Regina’s. Regina leaned into his touch tears still falling down, but for the first time in which seemed like an eternity it were happy tears. She finally was happy. She knew they still had a long road in front of them, she still was the Evil Queen and changing was lot harder to do then said. Gaining forgiveness, gaining her people’s trust the way she earned Robin’s and his men…it would be a hard task maybe an impossible one.

But right now she was happy knowing that she was in the arms of the man she loved, the man she chose to be with. Knowing that he loved her back with the same intensity, it was true and pure, nothing was forced or manipulated. She once let a second chance of love slip away (maybe she will tell Robin one day about the man with the lion tattoo) and now she had everything.

Not to mention the little boy with dimples who won her heart over a long time ago. She would rebuilt her life with those two boys at her side knowing she would be able to face everything that would come her way as long they were together.

Her mother had been wrong, she could be loved, she could be happy, with Robin and Roland she finally would find happiness in her life.

They stayed like this for a while, a family found under rather horrible circumstances, a failed assassination, a well-deserved one as far as Regina was concerned.

When Robin’s lips found Regina’s it was like he finally found home. He loved that woman more than he ever thought a heart was capable of (and he already loved Marian immensely) but with Regina… it was like she was a part of him and only with her by his side he felt complete, stronger than he ever been.

Being apart her only for a short time made him already miss her, the thought of ever losing her driving him crazy, only making pulling her closer to him. He had gotten a second chance and he would do everything to make the woman in his arms smile as often as he could, helping her dealing with her heartbreak, helping her enjoying the beauty of life. Him and Roland.

Said little boy once again started coughing with made Robin frown in concern:” Are you alright my boy?” He asked just as Regina had before. Roland nodded and smiled happily so Robin only petted his hair hoping the boy didn’t catch a cold. Roland was a horrible patient.

They stood up together a few moments later not being able to ignore the nagging hunger anymore. Heading to the other men who already had prepared the food and they had a blast. The men finally understanding his decision to go with Regina (he indeed had to talk with them about it again, he had become the feeling that there were men who liked to join them) slowly getting a fondness of Regina just as he and his son did. Them eating together were becoming enjoyable and entertaining times and Robin couldn’t be happier.

The rest of the day passed by rather eventless till the moment that crushed everything.

The moment Regina thought she should’ve predicted. The one thing that always happened as soon she got something good in her life. Something or somebody came to take it away from her, snapping it form her grasp leaving her devastated, broken, her heart shattered into million pieces. Why should’ve she thought, why it would’ve been different this time? Why did her mother always have to be right? Right about the fact that she would never find happiness.

It had started so harmless, her and Robin goofed around after Roland said he wanted to play in his tent (he did look a bit sick Regina thought with a concerned frown knowing that Robin’s thoughts also were with his boy but it seemed harmless, just a little cold) as Regina once again touched Robin’s wrist by accident making him moan in pain. “Please Robin let me heal you. It is only a bit magic it won’t do any harm I promise.” Oh god how wrong had she been but Robin wanting to proof that he trusted her and her magic nodded stretching his arm out.

With a wave of her hand the bandages were gone and the injury gone. “Look all better and if you…” Regina cut herself of as her eyes landed on his wrist or more specific on his tattoo. It was _that tattoo_. That tattoo she had seen so many years ago, when she had ran away from the tavern ran away from her soulmate, the man with the lion tattoo.

Oh god Robin was her soulmate, she had ran from him all this years. Regina couldn’t breathe anymore tears gathering in her eyes as she realized what it meant. Pixie dust had led her to him, pixie dust…that was why he loved her because fate made him fall for her. It hadn’t been his choice, his own will not standing a chance against the power of prophesied soulmates and and…Regina could feel her heart break once again the crushing pain almost shattering her.

Robin didn’t really love her, he didn’t really wanted to be with her. Just like she and Leopold, forced together by fate and circumstances and oh did it hurt knowing that her mother had been right. No one could love her, she would be alone forever. The dreams of her own family crushed in front of her.

If Robin actually had a choice in loving her he never would…how could she believe anyone would love someone like her? Someone as dark and broken and pathetic as her? Simple answer, no one not even (no especially not) the good hearted outlaw standing in front of her now realizing that something was so wrong.” Regina what is it?”

Regina only flinched back from his touch still starring at his wrist knowing that everything was again in ashes nothing had been real. He never would choose her, Roland never would choose her.

“I can’t …I should’ve known you could never love _me_. I should…” Robin was cutting her off now:” What the hell are you talking about Regina? I do love you, I love you so much.” She could see how confused he was how scared but not as much as she was.

“Yes I know but it was never your choice Robin. It was fates.” She took a deep breath knowing that here where she the pain finally eased, where she finally could laugh again, was nothing left for her. She had to let him go, letting him finding someone he really loved not only because of pixie dust, of magic.

“I can’t Robin. I’ll have to go” “Regina what do you mean?” His blue eye looking at her. “I can’t have a life with you.”

“What? Where? Why Regina what happened? Please my love talk to me.”

“Back where I belong, back to my castle being the only thing I was born to be… the Queen.” Regina’s heart was heavy a single tear now falling down. “Why Regina?” Robin sounded almost desperate.

“Because Robin my mother was right. I can’t be happy I don’t know how.”

With those words Regina turned around vanishing in a cloud of purple smoke leaving a confused and heartbroken Robin behind.

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys hope you had an amazing day and recovered from my last chapter :p This one hasn’t much less drama in it (but for your sanity the next mean cliffhanger is reserved for the next chapter) but since I’m not Adam and Eddy I don’t like separating Regina and Robin all the time. They have enough problems to work through by being at the same place at the same time.
> 
> I hope you like that chapter and please tell me what you think, if you love or hate it ;)   
> As usual I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made. If you want to talk to me about anything: Twitter(@SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr(@onceuponahappytime) please do!!  
> PS: Using peppermint oil and tepid water the way Regina did in this fic actually works with little kids to bring down the fever;)

_One week later_

* * *

 

Regina was lying in her bed in her chambers alone and silently whimpering. Like so many nights Robin occupied her dreams, night after night since she had left she saw him, his deep blue eyes looking desperate at her begging her to explain what was going on and she only stood there starring at him.

The dream than usually switched.

_Robin and Roland were standing at the bonfire at the camp a woman next to them. A beautiful woman with long brown hair, a hand gently stroking over Roland’s hair, her lips pressed oh so softly onto Robin’s, her belly swollen, them laughing, happy and content._

_And like always Regina was standing just a few feet away almost close enough to touch but separated by an invisible barrier, alone and defeated. Robin’s hand in the other woman’s hair whispering loving:” I love you milady.” And like always the woman asked: ”And what about Regina? Do you love her too?”_

_“No my love how could I ever love a monster like that? Magic forced us together I love only you, you, Roland and our baby. Not Regina, never her.”_

_Robin’s words sharp like knifes cutting Regina’s heart into million pieces and tears were falling down her face dreams of a second chance crushed. She watched them being a family something she would never have. Condemned to a life of loneliness and pain. “Papa we are safe right? Gina won’t hurt us will she?”_

_Roland’s sweet voice and the fear in his eyes made Regina swallow hard the little boy she loved so much was scared of her, the man she lost her heart to in love with a woman he freely chose ready to have a baby with her something she would never be able to give him. Robin and Roland seemed happy , she should be happy for them but the crushing pain she felt knowing that no one would ever love her that she would never be good enough to deserve happiness._

_“No my boy she will never hurt anybody again.” Robin told his son and with those words his and Regina’s eyes locked and before Regina could ask for forgiveness Robin aimed his arrow at her:” And now she never will.” And let the arrow fly towards her._

Like many nights before Regina woke up with a scream, trembling and tears in her eyes. She had that dream since she arrived at her castle a week ago, every night waking up every time shortly before the arrow would’ve hit her. Seeing Robin and Roland moving on without her even if just in her dream broke her heart and him trying to kill her shattered it.

Regina knew it was only a dream knew that Robin even if he would know the truth why he was condemned to love her wouldn’t hurt her (right he wouldn’t?) but it still hurt, everything hurt.

It had been a week and no sign of him, he hadn’t come to get her and convince her that he actually loved her which proofed she had been right. He didn’t really love her might not even liked her and oh god did that hurt. She had fallen for him had loved him(still did) like she never had before not even with Daniel, a feeling so intense it took her breath away.

He had made her happy and free, feeling cared and cherished for, like she _mattered_ and now everything was gone. Burnt to ashes and she was left behind hurt and broken and this time Regina wasn’t sure if she could get up again.

She was working on autopilot since she was back, her royal court not too pleased that she was still alive and her people rather shocked and furious that she was still breathing. But she had ignored them, their comments and questions and after an evil glare at her part soon everything kept going on like it used to. Well almost everything.

Regina had not just lost her fire she had lost her anger towards Snow. No lost might be the wrong word she just was too tired, too broken down to keep fighting she only wanted to sleep but there the nightmares were waiting for her.

So she walked up and down her chambers hour after hour only stopping to do what was absolutely necessary which wasn’t too much since she had many people on her side she might didn’t like and was sure some of them despised her but they were competent, smart people knowing how she liked things run even when she didn’t explicitly tell them what to do.

Hunting after Snow would’ve taken energy she didn’t have any more not to mention the promise she gave to Robin trying to forgive her damn step-daughter which she couldn’t push out of her mind entirely.

It wasn’t that she just missed Robin so much (which she did sometimes so much it made breathing a challenge) but also Roland and to her surprise also the Merry Men. They had mostly accepted her, cared for her and for the first time in her life she had been a part of something like a family.

For the first time in decades she had felt safe and free not trapped by anything for the first time she woke up every morning with a smile on her face.

Now all she was was tired and heartbroken wishing she never had taken the chance in opening herself up again because despite every pain she had felt in the past nothing could compere (not Daniel, not her mother, not Leopold) to the all-consuming pain that was ripping her apart.

Despite it the times where she didn’t feel the pain of loss hurt more because those were the times where she felt…nothing at all.

Regina slowly walked to her balcony starring at the sun rising tears falling down her cheeks. There was a numbness, a coldness she felt inside which had nothing in common with the burning rage she had felt in the last years, the anger that had kept her alive. But now?

She hadn’t even blinked an eye as her contacts told her that there had been no sighting of the bandit Snow White for a concerning long time.

She had had the hope that Robin would’ve come after her it was only a few hours by horse from their camp to her castle but he hadn’t and now a week later Regina knew he never would. Angry at herself for even hoping it.

Hope was something for fools and she had been foolish long enough playing house with a man and a child knowing that she would never be good enough for them.

Regina stood out there breathing in the air trying to calm herself which was likely why she hadn’t heard the steps right next to her and as she felt somebody touching her should she practically was scared out of her skin a fire ball ready in her hand (which still made her a bit dizzy that damn poison she would skin that bastard alive who put an arrow through her) turning around ready to attack and then…everything just froze.

“R-Robin?” Regina’s voice was shaking not believing who was standing in front of her. For a moment they only starred at each other and Regina had to swallow hard as he took a step towards her his face now illuminated by the fire ball still in her hand.

He was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes telling that he likely hadn’t slept more than she had. The glint in his big blue eyes was turned off and without touching him Regina could see how tense he was.

“Hello milady,” his voice sounded raspy and…Regina couldn’t point out what else, there was something in the way he said it the way he looked at her that seemed somewhat…defeated.

What was he doing here, Regina wondered. He hadn’t come for her in over a week hadn’t cared enough to do so. Which must mean he wanted something from her but what could he ask for? She already had given him her heart, her body , her trust. Not that that meant anything now.

She knew riches didn’t mean anything to him and he clearly wasn’t here for her so…”What do you want Robin?” Regina asked trying to sound uninterested (and failed full blown).

“What I want Regina? An explanation would suffice. An explanation why you threw everything away in a beat of a second, why you ran away from us, why you had the need to break Roland’s heart and I could go on and…”

“Robin I have my reasons. I told you I destroy whatever I touch but this time I walked away before that could happen.” Regina replied trying to avoid his intense gaze.

“That’s what you are going with milady? You wanted to protect me by just vanishing without any explanation, that’s what you call protecting?“ Robin asked angrily and confused.

“Why do you even care Robin? If I would’ve been wrong you would’ve come after me, told me that I was mistaken, that you do love me that you do choose me but you didn’t,” Regina barely could hold the tears at bay the heartbreak even worse seeing him.

“Regina I couldn’t…” but Regina interrupted him:” You couldn’t what Robin? You knew where I was if you truly loved me you would’ve found a way. It’s alright you woke up, when the magic faded and realized that I was right and that you didn’t have a choice, no big deal you just…” but now it was Robin’s turn to interrupted her.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about? What magic faded, waking up from what? I know you didn’t put a spell on me and even if you had, which I know you didn’t, magic can make someone love you. I don’t know much about magic but I do know this.”

Robin was now more confused than before and that was saying something. He had spent every waking minute (the ones he hadn’t spent thinking about his son but that was another matter) trying to figure out what had happened.

What he did wrong, how he chased her away. He had seen the broken look in her beautiful eyes knew that it hadn’t been an easy decision on her part but he couldn’t help himself, he was angry,

Angry that Regina just left, he wasn’t one for drama, he always thought the best solution was to sit down together and talk it through, trying to find a way together. But she hadn’t given him the chance had just vanished in a cloud of purple smoke leaving him behind devastated and heartbroken. Heartbroken in a way he had never felt before.

It had been like someone had ripped him apart. Everywhere he looked , everything he did , it all remembered him of Regina. Every time he closed his eyes he had seen her soft smile, her dark eyes which always showed so much, her wonderful curves, her long silky hair, missed the way it felt in his fingers, had missed every part of her, had missed _her_.

Her leaving had left an emptiness inside him, a void and he had caught his hand more than once searching for her next to him when he had woken up just to realized that she was gone. The love of his life, his second chance, _his Regina_ was gone and it…bloody hell it hurt like a bitch.

And now seeing her standing in front of him it made it even worse. She looked stunning as always but nothing like when he saw her the last time. Her skin had lost the color it got in her days in the woods, there were dark circles under her eyes, eyes which were red and puffy showing the signs of tears. She had been crying before he came, he had heard her sobbing.

She was thin even more than she had been when he had found her dying in the woods and it worried him. The nightgown, a simple piece of clothing, nothing fancy to his surprise not hiding her clear loss of weight but what scared him the most was the way she looked at him.

The fire which usually was burning in those wonderful big eyes had been gone, replaced by a numbness, an emptiness. Her voice had been shaking she hadn’t even really tried to put on the mask of the Queen or at least failed horribly at it. She looked…broken, shattered. Well he knew the feeling.

“Robin I can’t do this I can’t just go please.” Robin swallowed hard at Regina’s pleading tone. He was just not sure what she was pleading for. For him to actually leave or to proof her wrong.

But then she slightly pushed him towards the railing whispering again: ”Please Robin just leave.” “Regina listen I…” Robin’s words didn’t get through to her as she lifted her hand surly about to poof him away.

Robin reacted fast his years as a thief making his reflexes at lightning speed and he grabbed her wrist firmly but careful not to hurt her: “Regina wait listen…” “NO please Robin go.” She was trying to get out of his hold but he only held on stronger needing to tell her why he didn’t come earlier, the one thing that hurt even more than losing her.

“Roland is sick.” That did it Regina immediately stopped struggling, her eyes going wide and fearful tears again gathering in them.” What? What happened? How is he?” Her voice now sounding desperate.

“He just woke up the night after you left with high fever. Nothing I do seems to help it just won’t break. He is getting worse Regina and I don’t know what to do I-I can’t lose him.” Now it was Robin’s voice which was shaking his heart heavy with concern for his little boy.

“Oh god Robin I’m so sorry.” Regina looked like he felt her fear for his son written all over her face.

“That is way I didn’t go after you in an instant. Roland had fever before but it was never that bad and … and it broke my heart every day without you was hell but my boy comes first. I only could leave him knowing that he would be alright. But Regina…he isn’t getting better and I can’t lose him and I-I need your help. ”

Now all what had reminded of her composure was gone the first tears falling down her hands now holding onto him her eyes not leaving his. “Tell me what I can do, how can I help?” Regina asked him trying to push back her tears.

“I need you to save our son Regina I need you to heal him like you healed me.” He had used the expression _our_ _son_ on purpose. Because no matter what happened or will happen between them the love in Regina’s eyes was clear: She loved Roland more than life itself.

He didn’t know when exactly it had happened but the woman in front of him had become what he had wished Roland to have for such a long time, since his beloved Marian had passed, a mother.

A mother who would do anything for her child and judging by Regina determined look she wouldn’t stop at till she knew their son was safe whatever it would take.

For the first time in days Robin felt something like hope, like maybe just maybe everything was going to be alright. Regina would help Roland and then…he had no bloody clue but one step at the time right?

“Wait here I’ll be right back,” and with those words Regina ran out leaving Robin once again confused behind (but at least she said this time _I’ll be right back_ that was a progress…)

Regina’s heart had almost stopped beating as Robin told her about Roland. She couldn’t lose that little boy she just couldn’t. He had asked for her help even if that had been unnecessary she would’ve tried everything to safe that boy.

She now was on her way to her vault getting some ingredients. She wouldn’t use healing magic to make Roland better than not only that that wasn’t her strong suit healing illnesses usually made more damage than it did good.

But fever including illnesses were something that happened rather often in the Enchanted Forest and Regina liked to be prepared. So she read up ways to deal with fever breaking any temperature record a long time ago.

It took her a few minutes to gather everything and then she ran back to Robin. _Back to Robin,_ she almost smiled at the thought trying to squash the hope she was feeling.

This didn’t change anything he needed her to help Roland nothing more. But why did he say it was the only reason why he didn’t come earlier? Was that just an excuse? It had to be.

_Magic can’t make you love someone_ , his words were swirling through her mind, had she been wrong? But why would he love her then? She wasn’t lovable, she wasn’t worthy he couldn’t ,no this was all about Roland, snap out of it Regina, she was trying to tell herself as she was running back to her chambers.

“Regina what…” Robin looked confused at the bunch of herbage in her arms.” No time for explanations. Do you trust me?” Regina asked calmly but terrified waiting for his answer.” Yes I do. More than anyone.”

He hadn’t broken eye contact while saying this (he didn’t really love her right but why did he look so sincere?) “Fine than let’s go, “with those words Regina waved her hand twice, once to get into some more appropriate attire and with the second movement both of them vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

They reappeared in the middle of the camp Regna walking to Roland’s tent without hesitation practically storming into it.” Jesus what the bloody hell is…wait Regina?” Little John sat next to a clearly feverish but sleeping boy one of his huge hand put on his chest likely to calm his hammering heart.

“How many people do you know who don’t smell like forest but me you idiot, of course it’s me.” Regina snapped at him but couldn’t stop the warm feeling that John actually seemed relieved to see her. She couldn’t say that about many people.

“My apologizes Your Majesty but you vanished about a week ago without a trace. Forgive me when I’m a bit surprised that you are here especially at this hour.” John shoot back earning a glare from Regina. “I’m here to help Roland, “all the snappishness had disappeared form Regina voice as had John’s both only looking concerned.

John then only got up squeezed Regina’s shoulder softly telling her:” I’m glad you are here, please help him.“ “That’s why I’m here,” Regina replied and with a last smile John left the tent leaving Regina, Robin and Roland alone.

Regina then kneeled next to the little boy swallowing on how bad the little man looked. The child usually full of life was lying there pale, cheeks red and sweaty under dozen of blankets. “Mama?” Regina jumped believing Roland was still sleeping but his eyes were open looking tired but hopeful at her. Her heart clenching painfully (but with so much love) at the term.

“Hi baby,” Regina replied stroking gently over his hair inhaling sharply as her fingers touched his forehead. Robin hadn’t exaggerated Roland was burning up.

“You came back Mama.” Roland whispered his little hand searching for Regina’s and oh god did her heart break at this moment. “Of course I came back sweetheart. “ She barely could hold the tears back now, knowing that she caused this wonderful child pain because that he had missed her was clearly shown in the way he looked at her.

“Mama I don’t feel good.” God watching her little boy suffer hurt more than anything ever did. “I know honey that is why I’m here to make you better.”

“Really? Will it hurt?” Roland asked her cuddling closer to her. “No Roland it won’t hurt it only will smell a bit funny.” Roland only nodded letting go of her as Robin sat next to them and then both were watching how Regina mixed a few things together putting them in a bowl, water and herbage and soon the smell of peppermint was all around.

Regina then told Robin to undress Roland which only happened under great protest and only with a lot of convincing on Robin’s part.

She then put a cloth into the bowl with tepid water and peppermint wrung it out and then gently stroke with it over Roland’s tender skin just in the way the old book she had read said.

First Roland’s little hands and arms, then the neck going on to his belly and ending at his back. The order was important making sure to only slightly moisturized the tiny body , Roland shivering and moaning in discomfort.

After a few minutes (and a lot of teamwork) everything was done and soon Roland was lying in her lap eyes closed but still awake. “Regina and now?” Robin asked her his hand covering hers ( she didn’t pull away it was foolish but still..)

“We have to repeat this three or four times and then he should be able to really get some rest, “ Regina whispered holding Roland close.

After a few repetitions Roland finally fell asleep in Regina’s arms not letting go of her. Apparently his boy had missed her as much as he did. Robin knew there was a lot of talking to do, trying to understand what happened but now all that mattered that his boy was taking care of and that she was here. It was almost like it used to be.

They stayed like this for a few hours holding Roland in turns but Robin’s hand always found its way back to Regina’s and Regina…well she never withdrew her hand not once. As it was about noon Tuck silently opened the tent whispering: ”How ‘s the patient?”

“Better, “Robin whispered back. “What about if I relieve you two for an hour or so. You both could use a break.” He had said it as neutral but all knew what he was implying: Talk it out.

“I really don’t think that is necessary and...” Regina started but Robin already put Roland gently out of his arms kissing his forehead (which already felt colder at least a bit) and grabbed Regina’s hand pulling her with him.

” No I think Tuck is right we need a break. But you get us as soon as something is wrong alright?” Tuck nodded and Robin knew his son was safe and well cared for leaving him with his old friend so he left the tent dragging Regina with him.

It was time for answers.

“Robin what are you doing, where are we going?” Regina asked trying to get out of his grip but he only let go of her as they reached a place in the back of the tent far away from spying eyes.

“What I’m doing milady is that I want the truth. I wanna know why you just ran off ,what you meant with I didn’t have a choice in loving you and even more why you didn’t give me the chance to say something, anything.” Robin was angry the concern for his son making him even more livid. “Robin look I don’t want to talk about it I…”

“No Regina you can’t just make me and Roland love you and then walk out on us. Did you see how much he missed you, how happy he was? God I’m so happy right now to only look at you even though I’m so angry at you at the same time. What the bloody hell happened Regina?”

Regina stayed silent biting her lip not knowing what to do. Should she tell him the truth? But whatever she would say it would hurt either way.

If she was right (oh god oh god) then he truly didn’t love her and if she was wrong…that meant she made an even more horrible mistake all those years ago when she ran away from the tavern, ran away from him, from the happiness they could’ve have.

But it was the way he looked at her loving and pleading, angry and hopeful at the same time which made her finally talk. She looked at him and then:” Many years ago a fairy told me she would be able to give me my happy ending despite Daniel’s death and she used pixie dust to show me what I needed most. Love. She showed me my soulmate the man I was destined to be with and I was standing there in front of him but I couldn’t do it I was too scared and ran away. I never met him till…”

“Till what?” Robin asked, confused where the story would led.

“Till I met you. I never saw my soulmate but I saw his tattoo. This tattoo.” Regina now took his hand into hers stroking over that damn tattoo. “It was me?” Robin choked out not taking his eyes of her.

“Yes it was you. And that day I left I saw it for the first time and I-I…” Regina couldn’t keep speaking but she didn’t need to. Robin now took both of her hands into his and asked:” Then what is the problem Regina? It seems we still found each other?”

“You don’t understand Robin. Pixie dust, destiny made us soulmates. It wasn’t your choice, your love for me isn’t real.” Now tears were actually flowing, the pain of the truth ripping her apart. She was in tears and upset and then….Robin laughed seriously laughed. Regina didn’t understand what was happening.

“You foolish woman. You should better know than anybody that love bloody hell magic doesn’t work that way. I don’t love you because of some damn prophesy I love you because you are you.” Robin gently tucked a strand of her behind her ear(god had he missed that feeling)

“I love you because you are smart and witty and how you keep me on my toes. Not many can do that. I love your big heart, the way your wonderful eyes light up every time Roland just looks at you, I admire the strength you have, your bravery I love how you can be a badass fighter who doesn’t take crap from anyone and at the same time you are the person who gets up before sunrise to make my son a birthday cake I so foolishly let the animals beat me to it.”

Robin tenderly wiped a tear away as he continued:” I love the way you blush when I pay you a compliment , I can’t get enough of your laugh the real one who comes from the bottom of your heart. I love you because after everything that was done to you , after everything you done you still want to be a better person, how you fight for it every day.”

“I love you because of the way you love me just being with you makes everything brighter. I never thought I would feel this way again but I do because of you, because of who you are.”

“Regina I love you for many reasons but it all comes down to the same. I chose to love you, I chose you and I would do it again and again. Pixie dust hasn’t anything do to with it. So the stars and fate think we are great match too? That’s bloody amazing but doesn’t matter a damn thing to me. I can choose to leave you whenever I want and so can you, magic hasn’t anything to do with that. I love you, I chose you. Do you understand that Regina?.”

Robin looked at her finally seeing the fire back in her eyes but then:” You truly love me?” Her voice shaking and god she looked so young asking that question, so young and vulnerable. “I love you Regina more than life itself.”

She then shook her head sadly: “Robin but don’t you see that makes it even worse. That means I really ran away from my happiness that day. I ruined our chance of being a family because I was too scared, too weak to…”

“Stop Regina and think that through. Yes you didn’t come to me all those years ago and not because you were weak. You just went through hell and even worse blamed yourself or Snow, for that matter for it. You were a woman married to a King and I…I was likely at this point a lousy drunk.”

Robin searched for her eyes making sure she saw his sincerity:” Did you maybe think about that everything we have, everything we will have… that it is about timing? Maybe our time hadn’t come all those years but now…fate didn’t make me love you but it might brought us together again and I for my part never want to leave you again. Regina maybe everything works out when it’s supposed to be.”

And then it finally hit Regina. Robin was telling the truth she always knew when he was lying she could see the love in his eyes and for the first time since she saw the tattoo she realized that it was real the love in those wonderful blue eyes was real, honest and had nothing to do with magic or pixie dust.

He chose her and she chose him. They chose to love each other, to be a family with the little boy sleeping just a few feet away from them.

Regina then finally understood that he had been also right about the last part. She had been a Queen and Leopold…he would’ve killed them if they would’ve tried to run away. And again she would’ve lost somebody she cared about because they had the bad fortune of loving her. (Not that Snow didn’t play her part in her first loss but that was another matter)

She loved him and Robin loved her and maybe he was right maybe it was all about timing and maybe it was right now.

Regina didn’t know where she took the strength to do what she was about to. Maybe it had been that excruciating pain she felt or the numbness while she was without him , without her son.

Maybe it was her dream and Daniel’s _love again_ but Regina knew she was finally ready finally ready to let Robin in , fully and completely. She wouldn’t run not now, not ever.

Regina moved forward and then crashed her lips onto Robin’s pouring every feeling she had into it.

The kiss, this kiss was better than anyone they shared before.

Because this time Regina was sure, this time she knew she had found her soulmate, the soulmate who chose to love her, who chose to fight for her, who chose her, always and forever.

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people sorry it took so long but law school is crazy at the moment ;) We gonna have OQ and enjoying being a family in this chapter with all ups and downs, sweet and peaceful (and sexy smut is coming) and then...well see for yourself :P
> 
> Thank you again for all your lovely comments you are truly the best! I hope you gonna like it and please tell me what you think!
> 
> A special thank you to Abi ( Ultimate_Authoring) who made sure my story isn't full of mistakes and I don't have to sit in a corner and being ashamed about them :) No seriously she is an angel.
> 
> If you want to talk to me about anything: Twitter ( SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr( onceuponahappytime) please do!

Robin felt happy- so bloody happy- as the woman he loved with all his heart crushed her lips onto his. Feeling her close to him; his hands in her silky dark hair, pulling her closer. Her arms coming around his neck- both of them deepening the kiss.

The smell of apple , the smell of _her-_ which he had missed so much- tingled in his nose as he sucked her lower lip into his mouth, his hand slowly leaving her hair roaming down her body. He needed to feel her; needed to know that she was really here, here with him.

Robin gently stroked over her rips, winching as he once again felt how thin she had become. Moving down to her hips, he held onto them- his lips not leaving hers for even a second. He kissed her fiercely; his tongue exploring every part of her mouth. He had thought he had lost her- his dreams turned into ash, gone the moment the stunning dark haired beauty had vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

Vanished because she thought he didn’t love her; no- didn’t _choose_ to love her. Oh how had she been wrong! No magic in the world had the power to make him feel the way he did. The love he felt for Regina, the care, the passion was beyond everything his heart had ever experienced.

It was like there always had been a part of him that was missing- some part always searching for that one piece to make him feel whole. When Regina had come into his life it was like he finally found his home. She understood him , knew him even in this short time. Regina made his pulse race- his heart flutter- and no matter how hard he tried, his mind always wandered to her.

To her dark whiskey colored eyes telling a story of pain and sorrow, a story about strength and bravery, a story about love. Her red soft lips and her snark and witty remarks turning every conversation in a little adventure.

Regina’s beaming but elusive smile showed joy, and an entirely different side of her. A carefree and mischievous side; her younger self likely making itself known.

Robin loved her soft curves; loved touching them, making her scream his name in pleasure. Loved the way her dark silky hair felt in his fingers, loved petting it.

Thinking about her skilled touches towards him, or her tender and caring ones towards his little boy. And most of all he had thought about her heart. A heart battered and bruised but still so strong. He thought about the fierce and passionate way Regina loved the people she let close enough. Thought about it every day she was gone; praying to whoever was in charge of their lives that she would come back to him, back to them.

Now having her in his arms- kissing her breathless- knowing that she loved him with the same intensity than he loved for her. Her fears almost breaking them apart. But none of that mattered anymore. They were here, they were together, and he would never ever let her go again.

Regina and Robin parted softly when both of them ran out of oxygen, their hands never leaving each other.

“I love you Robin,” Regina whispered, tears still on her cheeks. Robin carefully wiped them away, his eyes finding hers as he replied "As I love you milady.”

“I’m so so sorry Robin. I-I….” Robin gently interrupted her apology "Shh! Regina it is alright. I understand why you did what you did. Just promise me you'll never just run away alright? Whatever happens we can work through it but we must to it together, as a team. Can we do that milady?”

Regina swallowed hard leaning into Robin’s touch. She had run away; left him without an explanation and he still wanted her back. After everything, he still stood behind her. Regina realized with a frown that she never trusted anybody in her life like she trusted Robin. She knew he wouldn’t let her down even though she had done exactly that more than once. But he still believed in her- that foolish thief loved her despite every rational reason, and god did that feel good!

So (surprising herself a bit) Regina had no problem promising him to never do it again

"I won’t do it again Robin. I haven’t had a partner in a very long time but I’ll try my best,” Regina answered almost shyly. She looked up at him, finding solace in his light blue eyes. Somehow only his presence had the ability to calm her down; to make her feel safe.

“That’s all I ask for Regina. We can do this, _us_ I mean. Just talk to me if anything is bothering you and we’ll find a way,” Robin assured her again and for the first time in over a week Regina could smile again. It just had been a few hours ago when she felt so defeated- her world shattered and she had the desire to make everything just stop, make the pain stop- it was almost overwhelming. And now?

She felt alive- her heart beat faster just at the prospect of having the handsome archer at her side. A real life; one she could finally share with people who were with her because they wanted to be. She was loved and cared for, loved without any conditions. She could be herself didn’t have to play a part.

Didn’t have to worry she wasn’t good enough (she still did, but a bit less than before) knowing that Robin was her soulmate , her lover by choice not only by fate.

Not to mention a certain little boy with dimples (his father’s dimples) who was waiting for her in his tent. The four year old who had called her Mama- who had told her he wished for her to never leave again. Regina’s heart almost burst with love for Roland, for her son. God, she had a son a child whose mother she would be till she drew her last breath.

Sure, she hadn’t given birth to Roland but that didn’t matter. Not even the slightest bit- even though she did feel uneasy thinking about the conversation that was ahead of them, telling Robin about the potion she drank, of her inability to have children of her own. She hoped Roland would be enough for him (she knew it would be more than enough for her) knowing how much Robin loved his son. But this was a discussion for another day.

For now Regina was happy, truly utterly happy. Being in Robin’s arms, being with her son, it was bliss.

Speaking of a certain boy...

"Robin I want to go back to our son,” Regina mumbled taking Robin’s hand into hers. He only chuckled, but was clearly still as concerned about Roland than she was (as well happy at hearing her using the term _our_ son)

So Robin simply held on tightly to Regina’s hand and both of them walked back to the tent- not letting go of each other, even for a moment.

Roland was still sleeping when they arrived at the tent, both nodding gratefully at Tuck who exchanged a look with Robin (who only smirked). Tuck left, shaking his head. His leader and friend really was so bloody in love with the Queen, it was almost cheesy. Tuck wanted nothing more than his friend to be happy- god knew Robin really deserved a big portion of happiness! Tuck just sometimes wished Robin would’ve chosen a little less complicated woman to share his life with.

Well, love is a funny thing.

Regina gently scooped the little boy into her arms, smiling when Roland immediately snuggled even closer to her without waking. She carefully touched his forehead realizing with relieve that even though the fever hadn’t broken yet, it had clearly gone down.

Regina threw a reassuring glance at Robin whose smirk had disappeared, turning into a concerned frown as soon as he had seen his boy. It was something new seeing him so uneasy- her dear outlaw usually was as cool as a cucumber, but as soon it was about Roland…the utter fear of losing the boy made both of their hearts clench painfully.

But right now it was Regina’s turn to sooth Robin, easing his fears despite having them herself (the fever indeed had sunk but what if…). So she slowly pulled one hand out from under Roland, finding Robin’s and rubbing comforting circles; calm dark eyes searching for upset blue ones "He will be fine Robin. He is a little fighter, just like his father.”

Robin threw a grateful glance at her, moving closer and putting his arm around both Regina and his sleeping son and holding them close.

“I know I-I’m still …Regina he wouldn’t get better no matter what I did and when I left to get you…I feared the worst when we came back.”

Robin’s voice was tight with fear and Regina had a lump in her throat. Roland had been sick- he had needed her, Robin had needed her and she hadn't been there. She had let them down; she could’ve helped Roland far earlier, he could be well by now if she hadn't let herself get consumed by her own pain.

Regina was so angry at herself but decided to ignore it for the moment. Soothing Robin’s fear was more important now, taking care of her son as well.

“He will be fine Robin,” Regina repeated- and then not being able to push the self-loathing away entirely "I’m so sorry I ran, if I would’ve been here I could’ve…,” but Robin wouldn’t have any of that as he gently interrupted her

"This is not on you Regina! You were upset and ran- which was foolish. But you came back- back to us- and that is all that matters. You did everything to help Roland; you did what I couldn’t do.”

Regina pushed back her tears at his words recognizing the same self-loathing she felt in Robin’s words so she replied making sure he was looking at her:” So did you Robin. You took care of him, you did everything human possible and when you knew you needed to find another way you came to find me. You are an incredible father Robin never forget that. Roland is very lucky to have you.”

Robin merely answered by pulling her closer to him; holding on to her like a lifeline. Talking about why Regina had left had taken his mind off his worries for a few moments, but now seeing his ghostly pale son sweaty and shivering… Robin didn’t fear fights, went head held high into wars, fought bravely, protected fiercely, but just the thought of losing his son paralyzed him.

He knew his son looked already better; had faith in Regina and abilities. But the nagging concern wouldn’t ease even a bit. Until Regina’s hand found his, their eyes locking telling him that everything would be fine and easing another one of his fears;

Failing his son. He was Roland’s _father,_ and he should have done a better job of protecting him. He shouldn’t have let him swim in the river at such a late hour, surely the water must have been too cold already? Or he should’ve insisted for a warmer blanket or …

“Stop beating yourself up Robin- you did well! Children get sick; that happens,” Regina’s soft but firm voice ripped him out of his thoughts. She smiled reassuringly at him, and Robin tried to convince himself that she was right. It almost worked.

They sat like this for most of the day; close to each other, taking turns holding Roland, neither of them daring to leave the lad alone.

Regina had been the first to give in to the exhaustion- her eyelids drooped as she grew tired. She hadn’t slept in days, actually, and despite feeling much better now the poison still had its grip on her from time to time.

She had fought it but in the end sleep pulled her down, and for the first time in over a week no nightmares tried to drown her. She slept peacefully- her hand weaved with Robin’s, her body pressed closely to the little boy who seemed in an even deeper slumber than the one that searched for her.

Regina woke up when Robin softly shook her, and for a second she went rigid when she felt his touch, till she realized where she was and that she was safe. Her eyes snapped open when she remembered that Roland was sick, turning to him so fast that she almost fell onto Robin

“Careful milady.”

Before Regina could react she felt tiny hands reaching out for her and within seconds Roland had placed himself in her lap. Regina pulled him closer, one hand finding his forehead.

She could feel her entire body lose its tension as she discovered Roland’s temperature had dropped even further. The fever still hadn’t gone, but her medicine was working. Roland mumbled a soft “Mama” before he was out again.

Tears of relief gathered in her eyes as she looked at Robin who whispered “He’s doing better.” Regina only nodded, smiling softly and grabbing Robin’s hand tightly. Then another thought came up.

“I’m sorry that I fell asleep,” Regina mumbled, slightly embarrassed that she in fact did.

“No worries love. I’m sure you haven’t had a peaceful night in a rather long time,” Robin reassured her, pressing a soft kiss on her brow.

Still she shouldn’t have fallen asleep, Regina thought, biting her lip and muttering “Neither have you.”

Robin chuckled softly before he answered “True, milady, but I also did not get hit by an arrow dipped in nasty poison not too long ago. You might cut yourself some slack love. Despite everything I have things under control.”

Regina still wasn’t really convinced but before she could add anything else Little John opened the tent slowly, grinning as soon as he saw Regina

“Nice hair style, Your Majesty.” Regina frowned, her hands tangling through her hair. She then realized that her dark curls were completely tousled.

“Still looking better than the dust mop you call your hair, John,” Regina threw back, smirking.

“Touché,” John laughed before adding with a wink “And I almost missed you, Your Majesty.”

“ _Regina_! is it so hard for you to remember one single name? Does all the food you eat interfere with your basic brain function?” Regina replied.

“You are an arse _Regina_ but I gotta admit it, it got bloody boring without your lovely insults and charming criticism, “John answered, not even a bit intimated.

“John shut your bloody mouth, that is no way to address a lady! where are your manners?” Robin interrupted their banter, but smirked too.

Despite knowing that this was all just fun, Regina couldn’t stop her lips from curving into a smile at Robin’s words. Even in such an innocent matter he stood up for her- but still did it so smoothly that it didn’t look like she couldn’t do so herself (which she could; her sharp tongue wasn’t legendary for no reason!)

“Well beside the point, Tuck made some dinner if you two are hungry? I can take care of the little lad in the mean time?” Robin and Regina looked at each other both realizing that yes- they actually were rather hungry and they knew Roland was safe in Little John’s care.

“Yes that is actually a fine plan! Thank you John, we’ll be back soon,” Robin answered, helping Regina to put Roland down and then pulling the covers a little higher over his boy, making sure he was lying comfortably. Then he took Regina’s hand and pulled her up with him (not before Regina could give Roland a soft kiss on the forehead) and both of them left the tent, throwing one last concerned glance at their son.

Robin was so relieved that his son was doing better that he couldn’t stop smiling (yes- the matter that his Regina was back might have also something to do with his lifted spirits…). He then turned around, pulling Regina close and pressing a passionate kiss on her soft lips; kissing the breath out of her. His heart beat faster as he felt her melting into his touch.

She smiled at him as they parted (bloody hell- he loved her smile! It was likely the most beautiful sight he ever saw) and asked “What was that for?” Robin chuckled as he tucked a strand of her dark curls back behind her ear.

“I love you, Regina,” Regina’s smile turned into a beaming one as she replied

“I love you too.” Both of them couldn’t believe how easy those words came out; their love growing stronger every second.

Then they sat down next to the other Merry Men (after Regina had fixed her hair) who all- well most of them- greeted Regina in a friendly way, and gave them some food. As soon as the smell of fresh warm bread reached Robin’s nose he heard his stomach grumble loudly, earning a dry chuckle from a certain Queen- realizing that he hadn’t been just hungry but rather starving.

He took a generous bite, chewing and enjoying the meal but not taking his eyes off Regina even for a second. It wasn’t just that he studied her beauty (and she truly looked stunning today) but the memory of his fingers grazing over her body- feeling her ribs- made him rather anxious to get some fat back on her hips. She was far too thin for his liking; and it worried him.

Not that it would stay this way- he would make sure of it- but to his delight Regina was eating, taking rather big bits and smiling softly when she realized his gaze was on her. Robin smiled back, relieved that she was eating.

They stayed for a bit and talked with the men talked about postponing their journey to Regina’s castle till Roland was feeling better- his men still surprisingly supportive.

But soon- despite there being a rather nice atmosphere- Robin had the desire to spend some alone time with Regina.

She had absently been stroking up and down his tights, and bloody hell he was just a man- _and_ he hadn’t had her in his arms in over a week! But it was her grin that clearly showed that she knew exactly what her touches did to him. That was the last straw for Robin- he grabbed her hand, bid his men goodbye, and pulled her after him.

As soon they reached a tree at some distance (close enough to get to Roland fast if necessary, but far enough that the men wouldn’t hear what he was planning to do right now) Robin gently shoved Regina against the tree.

“Robin what…?” But Robin shut her up with a fierce kiss, his lips crushing onto hers. She moaned softly; her eyes dark with desire.

They heatedly made out for mere minutes when Robin suddenly took a step back making Regina repeat her question from before.

“Robin what..?”

“I haven’t had the pleasure of touching you in over a week- I want to thoroughly savour every moment, milady. I cannot do this properly here.”

But Regina had already pulled him against her, grinding against him and grinning as she whispered seductively “You have all the time in the world to _savour me_ later. I need you Robin and I need you now.”

Robin hesitated for a moment, but then realized that yes- he actually had all the time in the world and bloody hell he needed to feel her every inch of her. So Robin once again claimed her mouth; his hands finding her ass and kneading it, making her moan.

He bit her earlobe softly; his mouth wandering down, kissing her neck and sucking her pulse point which made her whimper- pulling her arms around him even tighter. He soon reached the swell of her breasts, tugging and rolling her nipples through the fabric of the dress.

“Robin- inside- now,” Regina hissed, her voice tight with lust. Robin only smirked as he slowly stroke her thigh, not moving anywhere near where she really needed him.

Robin would’ve loved to keep teasing her but they had to get back to Roland rather soon, so his hand grabbed the heavy fabric of her gown and rucked it up, finding his way to between her thighs. He hooked his thumbs under her panties and pulled them down, pushing one finger gently into her. Regina arched into his touch and bloody hell- was she wet. He groaned feeling the warmth and wetness and getting harder and harder with every thrust of his finger.

“God yes! Don’t stop Robin,” Regina moaned, making Robin push in a second finger and damn- did he miss that. Regina writhed in front of him, moaning his name; cheeks flushed and her dark curls she had so carefully put in place all tousled again. She looked stunning; even more as her face scrunched in pleasure when Robin used his thumb to press directly on her clit, rubbing up and down.

Regina didn’t understand how Robin did it. Only a few touches were enough to send a powerful sensation between her legs. She was so wet, and his fingers inside her- god it felt wonderful! Even more since only 24 hours ago she thought she would never feel it again- the height of pleasure- to never feel _him_ again.

She could feel her orgasm nearing so she rolled her hips harder against Robin’s fingers, crying out as his thumb circled her clit with more and more pressure and before she could tell him that she was close her walls clenched and she came with a strangled cry, only muffled by Robin’s mouth on hers.

She kissed him fiercely when she came down from her high, feeling his erection on her thigh knowing that he needed it as badly as she did. Her slightly shaking fingers found his belt and undid it, whispering seductively into his ear “Fuck me Robin,” He moaned at her words, gripping her ass and with a smooth movement he lifted her and she immediately wrapped her legs around him.

The sun was about to go down, darkness surrounding them as Robin pushed her dress out of the way muttering “You are a bloody goddess,” and then he pushed inside her. Regina had to bite her lip to prevent her scream.

“You alright?” Robin asked, holding her close.

“I’m fine, keep going,” Regina mumbled and that was all the permission Robin needed. Regina began rolling her hips as well as she could in her current positon, meeting every of his thrusts.

“Harder Robin,” Regina hissed.

Robin sped up his movements; pounding into her and bloody hell did it feel good to be inside her again! Her eyes were screwed shut, and he could feel her shiver in need. Her arms around his neck tightened, pulling him closer to her as he was pushed into her over and over again. Oh damn he was already so close, but it had been so long since he last had her- since he last felt her around him- so he wanted to wait; to hold out for her. So he changed his angle, and using the one hand he didn’t need to keep his hold on her he moved to her clit, pressing against it.

Regina jerked against his touch and he kept the pressure up, their mouths finding each other and muffling both of their rather loud moans. He could feel her tense so he added even more pressure to her clit, and then he felt her come. Her walls tightening again- her eyes popped open, dark eyes finding blue ones and her lustful gaze and one final thrust was all it took for Robin to spill over the edge too.

Both of them stayed like this for a little while, till Robin’s hand started to cramp and he gently let her down. He reached for her, pressing a soft kiss on her lips and she smiled sweetly at him. The smile soon turned into a smirk as she muttered “Queens usually don’t get taken against a tree, thief,”

Robin chuckled, his hands finding their way back into her soft curls

“If I remember correctly, milady, you were the one who said here and now. I’m a man of honour and patience; I would’ve taken you to bed properly.” As their eyes met again they both looked at each other and started laughing. Laughing till Robin pulled her again into his hold, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead and whispering “I’ve missed you, love.”

Robin could feel how Regina’s body went tense for a moment, but then she laid her head on his shoulder, letting him puller her close and hug her tightly. “I’ve missed you too.”

Before any of them could do anything else Tuck’s voice was heard calling for Robin. Robin reluctantly let go of the woman in his arms, mumbling “Duty calls.”

“Alright you go, I’ll meet you at Roland’s tent.”

Robin gently stroked her cheek, noticing the slight shake in her voice

“Are you aright Regina?”

“Yes I am, I just need a moment alone. Don’t worry- I’m fine Robin, really” Regina assured him, smiling softly at him. He wasn’t entirely convinced, but he knew he had to give her her space; especially if she asked for it directly. “Alright then, I’ll see you at Roland’s tent in a few minutes love?”

Regina pressed a tender kiss on Robin’s lips, still surprised at his deep care for her- his need to always make sure she was fine. It had been so long that somebody did that for her she sometimes had to pinch herself, to make sure all of this wasn’t something her broken mind made up just to cope with everything.

Regina gave Robin a slight push nodding reassuringly again, and then he finally let go of her and went to his men. She hadn’t lied- she was fine! At least as much as she could be. But the last few hours were rather overwhelming, and she needed a moment for herself- to sort through everything. To make sure she wouldn’t mess it up again.

Regina sat down on the large rock next to her, staring at the sky. The first stars could be seen. Watching nature always calmed her down. Regina was deep in thought about Robin and Roland and moving to her castle that she didn’t hear the steps behind her. Didn’t feel the presence of another being.

Till it was too late.

Regina suddenly felt another body pressed against her from behind immadelyn knowing that it wasn’t Robin. But before she could react in any way she felt a knife to her throat pressing roughly against the tender skin. She could hear the person breathing heavily behind her. A cold shiver ran down her back.

Regina swallowed hard as she felt the pressure of the knife increasing her body frozen. Memories of a manic laughter the feeling of an arrow stabbing through her the burning pain. The fear and hatred , the disgust in the eyes of the man who nearly killed her. He was back it had to be him finishing the job. She couldn’t move tried push her fear away but it wasn’t working.

Regina was like paralyzed as she felt him pressing the knife hard enough to draw blood and went even tenser as he spoke up: “Regina”

Regina tensed as she recognized the voice a voice familiar to her. That was when Regina realized that she knew the person who was holding at knife at her throat the person who held her life in his hands.

 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I hope you had a great week! Thank you so much for all comments I love reading them! So this chapter starts Robin and Regina’s first big adventure together. Enjoy and please review.  
> A special thank you to Abi who took a look at my story thank you angel!!   
> Wanna have a word with me? Twitter (SophiiSunshine) or Tumblr(onceuponahappytime) I love chatting. As usual I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made.

“Where is she? What the hell did you do to her?” The voice of the man holding a knife to her throat sounded more desperate than angry- which was what made Regina snap out of her current frozen state. She felt herself relax as she took a deep breath, ready to put on the mask of the Evil Queen again.

“I have to say, I’m impressed, _Charming._ I didn’t know you had it in you,” Regina snarled and with a smooth motion of her hand her dear step -daughter’s love was tied to the tree she and Robin had occupied just a few minutes ago.

Regina turned around now facing David with a smirk on her face, her eyes cold. She slowly put a hand on her throat, feeling the warmth of blood on her fingertips. The cut hadn’t been deep; he hadn’t caused her real harm.

Regina watched- amused- as he fought against his restraints, blank hatred in his gaze.

“Impressive but also foolish, shepherd. Did you really believe you could take me out with a simple knife? Someone would think you learnt your lessons by now,” Regina said coldly, moving closer to him.

“What did you do to her you damn witch?” David tried to break free. Regina looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean what did I do to her Charming?”

“You know damn well who I’m talking about. Is swear to god if you hurt Snow I’m gonna kill you- I don’t care if you have magic, I’ll find a way.” David growled making Regina’s heart beat faster in concern.

Not about her god-forsaken step-daughter and even less because of Charming’s rather underwhelming death threats, but from the fact that she actually hadn’t harmed Snow; and nobody was allowed to lay a hand at her besides Regina herself.

Snow’s death belonged her! It was her revenge her happ-… no- wait. Stop. Why did those words _happy_ _ending_ suddenly have a bitter taste when thinking of the princess’s death?

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance… Regina! Damnit Regina!” the shouting of her name ripped Regina out of her thoughts, and she turned her attention back to the true love of dear, perfect, Snow White.

“Yes, perhaps you should’ve Charming,” Regina muttered, but then added “But I do not have your precious Snow White- I don’t know where she is.”

“You are lying.” Charming hissed.

“Am I?” Regina replied, a smirk still on her face. Despite her own confusion, she couldn’t deny that she enjoyed having David desperately fighting for his dear love in front of her. Liked the rush of power toying with him gave her.

“Yes you do- you always lie. I don’t believe you are even capable of telling the truth,” Regina rolled her eyes at his words. She replied, only a few inches away from him- almost close enough to touch “You truly believe I have her?”

And at Charming’s nod Regina shook her head in disbelieve, adding “Then you are even stupider than I thought. If I had caught Snow White do you seriously think I would’ve kept that a secret? I would’ve already made sure everyone could see her head on a spike; could see my triumph; see that I won.”

Her words seemed to make the shepherd shut up, apparently considering her what she had said. He looked up, his gaze again full of hatred but now also confusion- much like hers.

“You are still lying! No one would hurt her but you. It has to be you.” Regina sighed at his stubbornness.

Really, what did Snow see in him? It was a mystery to the Queen- but when had her step-daughter’s taste’s ever been good? Regina had countless memories of Snow in truly hideous dresses which the princess loved dearly as proof.

Before either of them could say anything else steps were heard and Robin suddenly stood next to her, eyes wide with shock when he saw David, and anger as his eyes fell on the blood at her throat

“Regina what happened- are you alright? Did this bastard do this to you?”

Regina looked up in surprise at his rage and concern. It was still new for her to have somebody who cared for her; who was angry on her behalf; who always tried to protect her.

“That, Robin, is Snow White’s charming true love and yes- he would be the one who made a very unimpressive and foolish attempt at my life. He thinks I took his princess.” Regina could feel Robin tense next to her, so she laid her hand on his arms and squeezed gently “Robin I’m fine it’s alright.” But Robin wouldn’t stand for this.

“No milady, it is far from alright. This scoundrel harmed you- I don’t care what his reasons were. No one puts his hands on you and gets away with it. Not as long as I am alive.”

Regina was glad that Cora taught her the art of a perfectly neutral facial expression- of hiding her emotions from those who weren’t too receptive (so almost everybody but Robin). Otherwise his words would’ve brought tears to her eyes, and the last thing she wanted was to look weak in front of the shepherd.

“Who the hell are you?” Charming looked even more confused than before. Robin opened his mouth to tell that _bloody idiot_ that he was the man who would put his head through a tree (preferably not the one he was tied to, since Robin was already seeing it as _their_ tree; his and Regina’s) or wall, whatever was closer.

But he still could feel Regina’s hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. He would’ve actually hit the moron if Regina hadn’t thrown a warning glance at him- and if the man didn’t sound so desperate.

He knew that tone of voice; a man who was in search for the woman he loved and feared the worst. And the worst in Snow White’s case? Well, that would be the stunning woman next to him. At least for now it was like that- he indeed hoped he had been able to change her mind about a certain princess.

“Robin of Locksley, and you are in my camp attacking one of my own,” Robin growled before adding with a smirk looking proudly at Regina “Even though this certain member can take very good care of herself. Marvelous job, my love.” They both looked at each other, sharing a soft smile as David spoke up again- utterly surprised

“My love? Wait are you two…a thing?”

Robin’s eyes hardened again at the clear disbelieve and rudeness of the man in front of him- showing such disrespect towards the woman he loved. Robin then had to remind himself that this man likely had his reasons to treat Regina the way he did. Nevertheless Robin wouldn’t let him do it; his honor telling him that you must always treat a lady with respect- no matter the circumstances.

Before the archer answered he threw an uncertain glance at Regina, not sure if she wanted to confirm if they were actually ‘a thing’, but decided it would be better to give her the lead in this conversation.

“What we are or aren’t, is none of your business, Charming. But I indeed spent the last hours with Robin, who will gladly vouch for my whereabouts.” Robin looked at her, worried.

“Regina, what exactly happened?”

He saw how again- just for a second- her perfect mask cracked a flicker of worry in her dark eyes. It was gone as fast as it appeared and her voice was steady and calm when she answered him

“Apparently Snow White has gone missing, and our dear prince thinks I am responsible for her sudden disappearance.”

Robin shook his head as he turned to the tied up prince and said (still glaring at him) “Regina has been here the entire day, she doesn’t have your princess. But maybe we can be of assistance in finding her?”

Regina snapped around, starring at Robin. Did he just offer their help to find the damn girl?

“Robin what? We definitely will not…” Robin grabbed her hand softly and pulled her away so that Charming wouldn’t hear their conversation. It truly was none of his business.

“Yes Regina, we will.”

“Why? I couldn’t care less” Robin almost had to chuckle at her insistence that she ‘couldn’t care less’ about Snow. Robin was well aware that there was truly a part of Regina who hated that girl, but he also knew that there was a bigger part who still loved her dearly.

He sometimes hadn’t been sure which part was stronger, but watching how Regina tried (and failed miserably) to hide her concern, he knew which one had the upper hand.

“Do you remember when we talked about letting go? About how important forgiveness is? That’ll be rather difficult if Snow White dies by the hand of a stranger, don’t you think milady?”

Regina stayed silent and then slowly nodded “Alright thief. Despite everything- no one hurts Snow White but me. Everybody who tries to take what’s mine will be punished. Now let’s got back and see what the idiot knows.” She turned around and walked back to the tree, leaving Robin to shake his head at her words.

That hadn’t been exactly what he had meant, but he then figured that her death threats towards Snow White’s capturer were the closest to a love declaration Regina would admit to. So Robin counted it as a win.

With a wave of her hand Regina let David fall on the ground with a dull ‘ _uhh’_ and stood in front of him, her head held up high.

“Alright Charming, you get five minutes. What happened?”

“You…You will help me find her? Why?” David asked in utter confusion. He had been sure Regina had his love but had been convinced otherwise. He had thought that his intrusion surely would cost him his head; had imagined every painful way of dying he could come up with, but offering him help? Well that had been the last thing on his list, by far.

But David had to admit the woman in front of him wasn’t the one he had met some time ago. The blank hatred had been replaced by softness, the boiling rage only simmering a fraction of what it used to be.

Her smile actually reached her eyes, those dark eyes that finally showed something other than coldness and anger. David was almost sure that this might be the woman Snow had told him about; the woman she so desperately missed; the woman who had risked her life to save Snow’s many years ago.

Still, she was the Evil Queen no matter what had happened to her since he had last met her- which meant he had to be cautious. Especially since Regina and that Locksley guy were sure as hell a thing. He knew love when he saw it, and as far as he witnessed being in love never ended too well for the dark haired woman in front of him, and for once he would like not to be on the receiving end of her wrath.

But David knew also that he hadn’t much of a choice either. He had been searching for Snow since he woke up without her yesterday morning, and there were no traces- not one sign where she might be. As crazy it sounded, Regina was his last hope of finding her and to his astonishment she agreed. Who would’ve thought that?

“Because if somebody ends your true love it will be _me_ , and not some foolish imbecile, that’s why dear,” Regina snapped at him.

“What she means is that we like to help a person in need, right Regina?” Robin’s voice came from behind her as he again took the place next to her. She huffed- annoyed- but she realized that Robin still glared at Charming (not ready to overlook the fact that he had hurt her- even if the attack was a lousy, if not pathetic, one) and that warmed her heart.

“Whatever. Charming will you now be so kind and tell us what exactly happened?” Regina asked, trying to calm herself. But as it turned out the shepherd’s report didn’t help them much. He and Snow had gone to bed and the next morning she was gone, vanished without a trace.

David then finished his rather useless story (Regina’s eyes hurt from rolling them so often) with a question that had been on Regina’s mind since he had told them that Snow was gone.

“So does that mean you will kill her when we find her or not?” Charming asked, concerned, and for a moment Regina didn’t know what to say. What would she do if they found Snow? She honestly didn’t know the answer. A part of her was still so angry at that stupid girl that she could feel her whole body vibrate but another one who had become louder and stronger over the course of the last weeks was telling a different story.

Robin’s words had been always on her mind since there conversations about Snow. His soft words about forgiveness about letting go and his oh so dangerous claim that she still cared more about her dear step-daughter than she liked to admit. All this confused Regina beyond telling. It had been so easy. Killing Snow White would bring her peace but what if that was nonsense?

“Regina?” David asked again, but Regina only replied coldly “I guess you will find out when we find her, Charming.” With those words she turned around and walked away. She called over her shoulder as her hand found Robin’s, squeezing it softly “We leave at sunrise tomorrow. If Roland is doing better of course. If that isn’t the case you have to continue your incompetent rescue mission by yourself.” Then she was gone, leaving both men behind. She needed time to think.

Robin looked after his love, shaking his head in concern. He knew that this was a hurtful and confusing situation for Regina, and he would do anything to ease the pain. He sighed as he turned towards Charming (what the hell was his real name?)

“You can sleep in one of our tents. I’ll show you the way…?”

“David. My name is David,” David answered at Robin’s unspoken question.

“Alright. So David, listen, we agreed to assist you and give you shelter for the night but if you dare to try to cause Regina harm again I’ll kill you. Do you understand?” Robin’s voice was absolutely calm but every bit serious.

“I understand. I won’t,” David stayed silent for a moment and then asked “What is really going one between you and Regina?”

“That is none of your bloody business.” And with those words Robin turned silently walking towards the tent. David followed him, not daring to ask another question.

As soon David was set up for the night Robin went looking for Regina and found her in Roland’s tent (where else?) curled up in the corner, the boy lying closely next to her, sleeping peacefully (Robin still put his hand on his son’s forehead, relieved that his temperature had clearly dropped immensely).

“Hey love, you alright?”

Regina, startled at his question, looked up in surprise. She hadn’t been sleeping, but likely had been so deep in thought that she didn’t notice him entering.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you milady.” Robin cautiously sat next to her, trying not to wake his boy.

“You don’t have to apologize Robin, I was just…” Robin had to swallow at the tone of her voice. Regina sounded… lost and confused and it broke Robin’s heart.

“You just…?” Robin asked, trying to find a way to take away the pain which was so clearly present in her beautiful dark eyes. She sighed, looking at him through tears clinging to her lashes.

“I-I don’t know what to do. Damn, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel right now,” Regina whispered. Robin stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. He had learnt by now that he had to give her time to voice all the emotions she was feeling, careful not to overwhelm her.

“I spent so much time hating her, I-I built my entire life around it. It was the reason I got up every morning. The anger kept me alive, Robin. Saving Snow… I-I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t k-know if I can do what you asked of me. What if, if when I let go of the anger I turn…”

“Weak?” Robin asked gently, knowing her well enough by now to know that that frightened her beyond means.

“Yes,” it was barely a whisper. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Regina, I thought you’d know by now that love isn’t weakness,” Robin said softly.

“I-I do but what if you are wrong and I can’t forgive, can’t love Snow? What if I don’t have _her_ under control when I find her? I don’t want to lose you or Roland. I don’t want to feel again how I felt the last few days- damnit the last _decade_. Not because of her, not again.”

Robin’s heart clenched at her words as he lay down next to his son, reaching out to Regina and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear

“Regina, love, listen- you won’t lose anyone! We won’t go away, I promise you that milady.”

Regina sobbed slightly but stayed otherwise silent so Robin continued “You won’t become her again, not if you don’t want to.”

“But what if I want to? Snow and I, we…” Regina asked almost shyly.

Robin decided it was time for a different approach “Regina, can I ask you something? When you met Snow before everything happened with Daniel, what did you feel for her then?”

Regina only looked at Robin for a moment, trying to remember the day she met Snow- the day that changed her life forever. She tried to recall every moment she shared with the little girl, remembered the warmth the care she had felt every time the girl had smiled at her. Remembered with pride how Snow had looked up at her. Remembered that the young princess had won over her heart in mere seconds.

“I cared for her the moment we met. There was this instant bond between us,” Regina whispered, leaning into Robin’s touch.

“So did you start to detest her immediately after you learned of her inability to keep a secret?” Robin asked, his fingers stroking tenderly over her cheek.

“No I didn’t, it kinda happened over time,” Regina answered, curious as to where Robin’s questions were leading.

“So you grew to hate her?” Regina thought about Robin’s words, and then slowly nodded. Yes- she hadn’t hated Snow, even after what happened. She had been livid of course- and hurt. But no; hatred wasn’t a feeling she immediately had associated with Snow.

“See? Love works both ways, you know. You learnt to hate her and now you have a chance to learn to love her again.” He stayed silent for a moment before saying “Or at least be at peace with her.” Regina bit her lip, thinking about Robin’s words. Maybe he was right? Maybe she could … Robin interrupted her thoughts, gently kissing her forehead (which was a challenge, since Roland was still lying between them)

“Don’t overthink it love; just let it happen. Firstly, we need to find the princess.”

Yes, that was the other question that bothered Regina. Who would kidnap Snow White? The precious and loved princess; the rebel against the reign of the Evil Queen? Who would’ve been stupid enough- but still smart enough- to carry out this plan?

“That is a very good point, Robin, but one I don’t have an answer to. Apparently- despite popular opinion- I’m not the only one who thinks Snow is insufferable.”

Robin chuckled softly at her words, but then got serious again. This wasn’t his first rescue mission and he knew time was of the essence. “Can you use your magic to find her?”

Regina nodded and then explained to him “Yes I think so. A location spell should find her in no time. Unless…”

“Unless?” Robin asked, his hand now on her hip drawing comforting circles.

“Unless the person who took Snow knows his- or her- way around magic. There are magical walls that can make locations spells useless, but not many people have magic, and even less know how to enact such a spell,” she told Robin, already going through everyone who she knew had magic in her head. Just in case.

Regina’s hand unconsciously moved to Roland’s forehead, taking his temperature and humming, pleased. Robin felt his heart flutter at her constant concern about their boy.

“He will be fine, won’t he?” Robin asked silently. He had agreed to help find Snow White, but first he had to know that Roland would be fine. He had no problem leaving him with his men for a few days. He would miss him immensely, but he also was certain that his son couldn’t be in better hands.

“Yes, he will be Robin. The fever is almost completely gone. I’m certain he will be his adorable (and rather loud) self tomorrow,” Regina reassured him softly, now being the one to gently stroke _his_ cheek.

They stayed in silence for a moment, just being content with being together; with having the knowledge that their boy would be well again. Robin suddenly spoke up; “What’s the deal with David?”

Regina snorted at the mention of shepherd; Snow’s true love.

“He is a foolish, lovesick idiot who thinks far too highly of himself.” Robin laughed at her words, and he asked his next question.

“What exactly happened between you? I can imagine those were rather interesting encounters.”

Now it was Regina who chuckled.

“You could say that. He might be a bit resentful that I threw him into my dungeon at some point. And this might be not the first time I tied him up, even though last time it was with ropes, not a tree. Those were rather amusing times I can tell you.”

Regina smirked but then looked up fearfully at Robin. Did she go to for? She had told those stories lightly- almost playfully- despite them being very real. She didn’t want Robin to think that she was…yes _what_ actually? A monster?

She _did_ do all those things, she did enjoy them and she also couldn’t say that she regretted anything involving a certain annoying shepherd. Still what if…

She was ripped out of her thoughts at Robin’s loud laugh.

“I see, milady, you seem to enjoy tying men up. Is this something you wanna explore in the future- under more pleasurable circumstances?” Regina smiled at Robin’s words, exhaling with relief. He was joking about it- he wasn’t disgusted or horrified.

Robin practically saw Regina’s mind working; saw the fear simmering in her eyes when she realized what she had said.

“Regina, love- listen. I already told you, I’m not a naïve man! I’m well aware of who you were and what you are capable of, and since David-,” Robin stopped, adding with a smirk “- _Charming,_ is in love with Snow I already thought something like that. The Evil Queen is in the past, Regina. You are turning over a new leaf milady.”

“Am I? I thought about what I did to Charming and I-I didn’t feel remorse Robin. What does that say about me being ‘turning over a new leaf?’” She sounded almost desperate, her dark eyes looking at him fearfully.

Robin took his hand away from her hips, finding her hand and holding tightly as he replied “It doesn’t say anything, Regina. Your reaction already tells me that you know it was wrong, and about what you feel. Regina… do you think I’m a good man?” Robin asked suddenly.

“Yes I do, but…”

“I told you I killed the man who murdered Marian, do you remember?” Robin asked, his eyes never leaving hers as she nodded slowly.

“I know it was wrong, but I don’t regret it- even though I should. Some things we do, Regina, we know they are wrong and we feel remorse and I know you do- I’ve seen it rather violently, actually.

“But some bad things we do… we don’t feel it and that’s not the right way; not the honorable way. But it’s the human way. You aren’t perfect- neither am I, or anyone else.”

Robin stayed silent for a moment thinking what to say next before he continued “We change every day, every person we met, every new situation changes us. There are some things we only understand later, will only regret later- maybe even never- and it’s alright Regina. It doesn’t make you evil, it makes you human.

“Try to understand why you feel remorse about certain things, and don’t about other’s. It will clear things up, and whatever it is I’m here and we will work through it, alright milady? You have a good heart- I know it I’ve seen it. Everything else will fall into place when the time is right.”

Robin’s hand stroked gently over the place where David’s knife had nicked her (she had healed the cut by now) and added “He likely deserved it.”

Regina swallowed hard, thinking about Robin’s words. Her mind was a mess- her heart was a mess. Fear and anger, love and hope, and all at the same time. She wanted to be better, but sometimes she just didn’t know how. She wanted to be good, but- oh- the darkness still tasted wonderful from time to time, and Snow’s disappearance had shaken things up even more.

She exhaled slowly, smiling softly when Robin pressed a tender kiss on her lips; reassuring her with every move- every look- that everything was going to be alright. Regina hoped so much he was right.

“You really believe all of this?”

“Yes, milady, I do. We are in this together- no matter what.” Robin and Regina only looked at each other, their gazes intense and in the end Regina whispered softly “Thank you.”

But before Robin could reply a voice interrupted them- a voice of a very tired little man between them “Mama, Papa shh!! I wanna sleep!”

Both of them chuckled, Robin gently stroking his son’s hair as he muttered “I apologize my boy, we will be going to sleep now. We have a long day ahead of us!”

Regina kissed Roland’s forehead and said softly “Good night, my little knight. Sleep well.” Roland snuggled closer to Regina; grabbing Robin’s hand and pulling it over him and Regina as he answered “Nighty Mama, nighty-night Papa,” and was out again.

Robin grabbed the covers, pulling them over all three (it was now rather cramped in the tent- but it was worth it) throwing one reassuring glance at Regina as the muttered “Good night love.”

“Good night Robin.” Regina replied and closed her eyes. Neither Robin nor Regina had a very peaceful night. Too many things were going through their heads, but the closeness of each other- the feeling of being loved and safe- eventually let Regina fall asleep, Robin following her closely.

Both of them felt anxious about their search for Snow White, and what finding her would mean for them. What would happen if she and Snow finally met again under different circumstance than before? Was Snow still alive? Was she hurt? Did Regina care if she were?

Both Regina and Robin knew that this adventure could change their life forever.

The only question that remained was if it would be for the better or for the worse- and right now neither of them knew the answer…


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people how are you? I know it’s been awhile but law school is really crazy at the moment ;) But I’ll try to update within the next two weeks.  
> Thank you for all your lovely comments I just adore reading them!!! So I hope you gonna like this chapter where the adventure takes the next step.  
> Trigger warning: Marital rape at the end of the chapter nothing graphic but rather emotional so please skip it if you need to and take care  
> As usual I don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes ;)  
> Thanks to Abi for taking a look at my fic and making sure its not covered in mistakes;)  
> I wish everyone of you a very Merry Christmas, have fun and take care!!!

Robin woke up at sunrise, his eyes finding Regina who was still sleeping; her beautiful face showing discomfort. _Another nightmare_ , Robin thought with a frown. He gently stroked up and down her arm to try and comfort her. Not that he had slept much better. Robin was worried about how the journey would go; if it would change everything.

With a sigh Robin turned his attention to his little boy. He promised to go and find the princess, but only under the condition that his son was fine. Robin put his hand on Roland’s forehead and breathed out deeply in relief as he felt the cold skin under his hand. The fever was gone; Regina did it! She saved their little boy.

“How is he?” Regina’s voice still raspy from sleep ripped Robin out of his thoughts.

“Hey there,” Robin replied, pressing a soft kiss on her brow before he answered “He’s fine. Your potion worked,” and he then looked directly at her as he whispered “Thank you”

“You are very welcome,” Regina answered, laying her hand atop Robin’s, their fingers weaved. They stayed in silence for a while, both in their own thoughts till Robin spoke up “Regina what do you want to do?”

They both knew what he meant, but Regina wasn’t sure what she wanted. She was so angry for so long at Snow and anger like this didn’t just disappear overnight.

All Regina wanted was Snow White gone but letting her die by the hand of another? Whatever her feelings for her dreadful step-daughter were or weren’t- she wouldn’t let anyone interfere.

“I want to know who dares to take what’s mine,” Regina hisses, leaving open whether she meant revenge or forgiveness; something Robin was well aware of, but had no desire to push. At least not for the moment. Regina threw an uncertain glance at Robin but he only kissed her knuckles softly and muttered “Whatever you want to do milady I’ll have your back.”

Now it was Regina’s turn to whisper “Thank You.” Having somebody on her side was something so new to the Queen that she sometimes had to pinch herself to make sure it was real. To make sure that Robin was real and not some hallucination her broken mind made up to cope with everything.

Robin and Regina’s eyes locked and they smiled at each other, knowing (or at least hoping) that they could overcome everything thrown in their way as long as they were together.

Before either of them could add anything to their conversation the tent opened and the rather unpleasant face of the shepherd appeared. “Are you two awake?” Charming asked earning his first eye roll from Regina.

“If we hadn’t been we would be now _Charming_. Now get the hell out of our tent before I make you,” Regina hissed. David left immediately, apparently not in the mood to find out if Regina would carry out her threat. Robin chuckled “Charming, love.”

“Robin, I love you, but if you ever again use the word ‘charming’ to describe anything I do I will turn you into an animal of Roland’s choice,” Regina mumbled.

“Well milady, since that would likely either be a horse or hedgehog I’m not taking my chances here. I vow to you I will never use the word charming in context with the loveliest, most wonderful, _non- charming_ person I know.” Robin winked at her, earning a smack.

“Ouch! Are our violent tendencies back, milady?” And before Regina could do anything Robin’s hand wandered into her dark curls and pulled her towards him pressing a short (Roland was still sleeping between them…) but passionate kiss on her lips.

“Let’s go, Your Majesty. We wouldn’t want to keep the prince waiting,” Robin said, pulling her with him- careful not to wake his son.

Depending on what Regina’s spell would tell them about the location of the princess he would have to have a conversation with his son, as well as his men. But right now he hoped finding his love’s nemesis wouldn’t be something that required _months_ of tracking and searching.

They both exited the tent, their hands finding each other as soon as they were out, and walking to the men and that _damn_ shepherd. Apparently said shepherd had already told his men what they were up to- judging by their concerned frowns.

“Robin, what is going on?” Little John asked as soon as he and Regina reached them.

“The princess has gone missing, John. Regina and I offered our help to find her.” John confusingly looked between Robin, Regina and David- clearly trying to make sense of all this.

“John, are we overwhelming your small brain this early in the morning?” Regina asked, casually smirking at the big man.

“Regina, this man just told me that the woman who spent years hunting down the princess now wants to go out and save her from whatever idiot was stupid enough to take her in the first place. Excuse me for being completely and utterly confused! What happened to the ‘revenge’ thing?”

“John, to have my revenge Snow should be alive, don’t you think? Killing a dead person is only half the fun!” Regina replied dryly.

“Regina I won’t stand it if you’re only coming to hurt Snow! I won’t! And I….”

What else David wouldn’t stand for was cut short by a very firm “Shut up Charming,” by Regina and Robin in unison. Both smirked at each other at David’s offended frown.

“We are the only way to find your precious princess so stop being so annoying and useless, alright?” Regina hissed turning her attention back to Little John. “No one is playing in my territory John, you should know that by now.”

John shook his head and chuckled “Yes, Your Majesty. After you threatened to turn me into a basket of apples and feed me to the horses after I dared to take some of your bread were lessons enough.”

“Regina- you threated to feed him to the horses?” Robin asked, barely managing not to break into laughter.

“He was stealing! And the horses were hungry! It would’ve been a win- win situation,” Regina answered with a shrug.

John then patted Regina’s shoulder and muttered “You knew we were all thieves when you came here Regina, and you got a far bigger piece to eat.” Regina only answered with an amused sniff and she put her hand on Johns and shared a look with him. “Whatever you two do be careful alright?” He squeezed her hand gently and then left.

David watched the whole encounter, confused. Seeing others sassing and touching Regina so freely without losing a hand or their head was something almost too crazy to believe.

“So what are we going to do now Regina?” David asked, the concern for Snow nagging at him. Regina threw him another annoyed glance before answering “We are going to use a location spell. I need something of Snow’s to cast it.”

David took a ring with a green stone out of his pocket and handed it over to Regina (Not without hesitation), muttering “Her engagement ring. She took it off before we went for a bath in the river and forgot to put it back.”

When Regina took the ring into her hand she felt a sharp pain, memories of Daniel crashing down at her and for a moment she lost the perfect composure she had shown since they left the tent, but Robin -as usual- sensed that something was wrong. Regina felt his hand on the small of her back rubbing softly up and down for mere moments.

Regina stayed silent, the painful memory too alive in her mind to make any kind of sassy remark. She only nodded and took a deep breath. She then waved her hand over it and the ring started to glow. Regina smiled triumphantly; her magic would lead them to Snow and then they could sort everything out and then…the glowing stopped.

“Regina, what happened? Didn’t it work? Is s-she dead?” David asked, panic in his voice. Regina tensed- her worst fears had come true. The person behind this indeed knew his or her way around magic.

“Love?” Robin asked and Regina realized that she hadn’t said a word. So she shook her head and looked at both men

“Yes it worked, my magic found her, but…”

“But what, Regina?” David growled, grabbing her arm when she didn’t react. Regina didn’t know if it was the situation or the lack of sleep but for a moment her mask fell. It was just for seconds but long enough that Robin and (to her dread) also Charming could see it.

she her flinching back from his touch, could see the fear in her eyes, the memory of the horror which usually followed by being grabbed like that.

“Don’t you dare touch her.” Robin’s voice was cold but his eyes were full of burning anger. David let go of her like he had been burnt, muttering an apology and taking a step back. Robin didn’t have to say anything; the look in Regina’s eyes would’ve been enough for David to back down. Despite the fact that said eyes now were hard and cold again, David knew what he had seen- and it confused him even more.

“Something is shielding Snow, my magic can’t break through entirely.” Regina finally answered, still trying to regain composure.

“Does that mean you can’t find her?” David asked still keeping his distance.

Regina bit her lip; he had seen too much, far too much. She shouldn’t show weakness. Regina still couldn’t deal with what she has already shown to Robin, but at least she trusted him blindly. Charming, on the other hand…

“It means that the ring will likely only show us an approximate direction, no more.” Regina answered, sighing. This wouldn’t be easy- finding Snow could take more time than Regina thought.

“Which direction Regina?” Robin asked, his hand finding hers and rubbing comforting circles.

“North; the direction of Maleficent’s castle,” Regina answered.

“Maleficent’s castle? Did _she_ take Snow?” David asked breathlessly, making Regina groan in annoyance.

“No, Charming, I guarantee you Mal has better things to do than kidnap spoiled princesses with a purity complex, don’t worry.” Regina hissed back, rolling her eyes so hart it almost hurt.

“You sure, love?” Robin wondered, still stroking her hand.

“Yes, Robin, I am. Maleficent is… a friend. If she would ever -god knows why- take Snow, she would’ve told me.” Robin nodded, seemingly accepting her response.

“So what do we do now?” David looked back and forth between the Queen and the thief, desperate for answers.

“We follow the direction of the ring, and hope that if we are close enough, I can try again and break the spell,” Regina responded.

David already wanted to protest but Regina spoke up again “That’s the best plan we have at the moment. If you’re not happy with it, please be my guest and go alone. I have better things to do then run after Snow- I have done that far too often in my life.”

David only nodded and Robin mumbled a “We’ll be right back” and pulled Regina with him.

“This quest might take a bit longer than we thought, won’t it?” Robin asked, tucking a strand of Regina’s hair behind her ear.

“It might. We still can back out. Let him wander off on his own,” Regina suggested but at Robin’s firm look she sighed and nodded.

“I need to talk to my men, and then to Roland.” Robin muttered, “How about you go to him first and tell him goodbye? The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll be home.”

They shared one last kiss before parting in different directions; Regina walking to their son and Robin trying to explain why he was going on a rescue mission with the woman known as the Evil Queen to save the princesses she had sworn to kill.

Regina entered the tent slowly, whispering “Roland, honey, wake up.” The little boy didn’t move so Regina softly shook him, until big brown eyes looked up at her in confusion.

“Mama, what happened? “ Regina was amazed by how the child was immediately aware that something was wrong.

“Roland, honey, come here,” Regina mumbled, pulling her son onto her lap. Regina pressed a soft kiss on his hair, holding him close.

“Mama?” Roland asked again, and Regina adjusted him so he was looking into her eyes.

“Sweetheart, your Papa and I have to go and help… a friend.” ‘Friend’ might be a bit much, but how do you explain the complicated relationship she and Snow had to young child?

“You have to help a friend? What happened?” Roland snuggled closer to her, listening carefully. “Her name is…S-Snow and she has gone missing. So your Papa and I have to go for a few days, to help find her, and you can stay with John alright?”

Roland stayed silent for a few moments, long enough for Regina to ask “Roland honey?” the little boy looked up mumbled “You should always help a friend in need, Mama.” With those words he withdrew himself and laid back into his bed and pulled the blanket over his head. Regina looked, confused, at the little boy and softy pulled the blanket down. “Roland sweetie, talk to me.”

But Roland stayed silent, only pulling at the covers. “Roland what…?” Regina could barely hold her tears at bay, not understanding what was happening. Didn’t he care that she was leaving?

None of them moved till Regina slowly got up, a single tear falling down her cheek “Alright sweetie, I’m going. Your Papa will come to say goodbye too.” Regina’s heart was heavy as she turned around to exit the tent, only be stopped as Roland crashed against her- pulling her in a tight, teary hug.

“Roland, I don’t understand…?” Regina looked at the crying child, confused. He had been so cold just seconds ago, and now he was crying?

“I don’t want you to leave, Mama,” Roland sobbed.

“It won’t be for long honey.” Regina paused, and then added “But why didn’t you tell me this in the first place?”

“Because Papa always says you have to help those in need- because it is the right thing to do. And you always say I’m your brave knight, and if you have to help a friend you have to go, and that means I have to be brave.” Roland was now actually crying and clutching her. “I want to be brave for you and Papa but what if you never come home again? What if you go to the angels like my other Mama did? I don’t want to lose you, Mama.” Roland sobbed in her arms and Regina’s heart physically _hurt_ at his words.

She then carefully extracted herself from the crying child and tipped his chin up so he was looking into her eyes. “Roland sweetie, I need you listen to me alright?” Regina asked, wiping away a tear.

At Roland’s nod she continued “I’ll never leave you honey- never.” And added- since the boy clearly didn’t believe her “Roland, you know that I have magic don’t you?” The little boy nodded again. “And my magic is very powerful; whatever comes my way, I can protect myself. You don’t have to be afraid Roland, nothing will happen to me.” Regina said calmly, not letting any of her own fears show.

They weren’t going up against some idiotic peasant; the person who took Snow had magic too, and the rescue mission could indeed end fatally for her. But that wasn’t something a little boy needed to know. And, well, it wouldn’t be the first time Regina was in a dangerous situation and she was still breathing, so…

“And I will be there with my bow and arrow to protect her too, my boy,” Robin’s voice startled mother and son, who both now looked up at the smiling man. Robin sat next to them, rubbing his son’s back softly. “Nothing will happen to your mother under my watch.”

Roland seemed to calm at his father’s words, but then the child frowned and asked “And who will protect you Papa?”

“Well, my boy, that would be your mother’s job. We’ll protect each other and together no one is stronger than we are, alright?” Robin added, smiling reassuringly at his son.

“We will be back before you know it, sweetheart,” Regina said, her hand finding Robin’s and squeezing it gratefully. Roland seemed to consider their words, before nodding slowly and pulling both of his parents into a tight hug.

Both of said parents had to bite back tears. Everything would be alright- they would go and get Snow and then everything would be how it used to be.

Both of them couldn’t know how wrong they were. Nothing would be like it used to be, even if they tried to convince their son- and themselves.

“We love you, Roland,” Robin whispered and when Roland replied that he loved them too they tighten the hug- both pressing a last kiss on his head before they left. Left to save a girl Regina didn’t know if she hated or loved.

They grabbed their things and bade a short goodbye to the Merry Men- with the promise to be careful and with assurances that Roland would be well taken care of.

At an inpatient huff off Charming they finally left- but not before Little John (to the surprise of everyone- maybe even himself) took a step forward and pulled Regina into a hug, whispering “Don’t do anything stupid, like get yourself or that bloody idiot killed alright? We need both of you to come back.”

“John get your hands off me, I can’t breathe,” Regina snarled but in her eyes were tears, tears and a promise that she would try to do what he asked of her. One last glance, and they walked away to find Snow White.

They walked for a few hours, Robin and Regina hand in hand. She -at first- hadn’t wanted to take it, since she wasn’t a fan of public displays of affection, but in the end the comfort Robin offered was too tempting.

Charming was walking behind them in silence, trying to understand everything that was happening. He had come to save Snow from Regina, to destroy the soulless evil witch, but things had turned out quite differently.

Not just that Regina had been innocent (for a change), the woman he saw in front of him might still be a dangerous, evil, snarky bitch- but soulless? No, that wouldn’t be a word David could still use to describe her, and it confused him to no end.

Robin felt tense, throwing one glance after another at Regina. She had barely said a word since they’d left, had only just agreed to take his hand, and he could practically see the all the conflicted emotions she was feeling in those dark orbs.

He wanted to ask her about them, to talk to her, to share her pain. But he knew how important it was to give her time; to wait till she was ready to come around. So that’s what he would to- wait.

After a few hours they came to a bridge, encountering the first people since they started their little adventure. They seemed to be guards in charge of everybody trying to pass the bridge. Both were heavily armed.

As soon as they came close enough for them to recognize Regina they aimed their swords at her

“This bridge is under the authority of the King, and people like _you_ aren’t allowed to pass. Turn around now.”

Regina took a step forward. Her eyes hardened a dangerous smile on her pretty face. “People like me?” Regina growled, feeling her burning anger.

“Heartless witches whose, only use is warming a bed and looking pretty,” one of the guards spat, disgust clearly displayed on his face. Regina shook her head at the daring words of the man. No sane person would be foolish enough to talk like that to a _Queen_ , even less if said Queen was rather powerful- and not known for her mercy. Regina could feel her rage- her whole body was vibrating as she closed the distance between her and the man and stretched her hand out. Within seconds the guard was in the air, choking by an invisible force.

“What did you say, peasant?” Regina growled. “Insulting a Queen never ends well- you should know that”

Regina had all intensions to kill this man, but she felt Robin’s arm on hers, squeezing it. She turned her head, looking at him; she had almost forgotten that he was standing next to her.

“Let him go, Regina,” Robin’s voice was completely calm, but there was a pleading look in his blue eyes, and Regina snapped out of it. If she wanted to change- wanted to be _better_ \- killing a guard might not be a smart move. She freed him from her choke and with a dull noise he landed on the ground.

“You got lucky today, and…” but before Regina could finish Robin grabbed her hand and pulled her with him. She was about to protest, but as soon as she saw Robin’s look she kept her mouth shut. She had failed again.

None of the guards dared to do anything, and let them pass. Robin was still pulling Regina with him, not saying a word and David -for once in his life- thought that to stay silent himself might be a good idea at the moment. To let the thief take care of the mess- and deal with the insane woman.

She hadn’t changed- never would, and whatever he had seen in the last few hours…well it didn’t matter. The Evil Queen was still the Evil Queen, right? Still, the words of the guard made David think; what did he mean by ‘warming a bed and looking pretty’?

They walked and walked, made short breaks, all of them barely talking till the sun was sinking and it was time to rest. None of them spoke about what had happened. They just settled down, and for once Robin was glad Regina had magic.

With a wave of her hand two tents stood before them, as well as a large bonfire. The nights would become colder every day they would be on this mission, and not to have to worry whether the fire would burn was something Robin dearly appreciated.

“Are you sure we are not wasting time, Regina,” Charming asked as they all sat around the fire. Robin rolled his eyes- the fact the shepherd continued to doubt his soulmate annoyed the archer beyond means.

No matter the history between them, no matter of their little setback before, Charming should know by now that if somebody wants something done right and efficiently- following Regina’s lead was likely a wise choice.

“No, _Charming_ , we are not wasting time. And if you weren’t lacking a basic understanding of… well everything, you wouldn’t need to ask all these stupid questions.” Regina hissed.

“The ring gave us a direction, and we follow it till I can break through the protecting spell, and unless you can come up with an utterly surprising master plan this is what we gonna do,” Regina added- and then looking at Robin “I’m going to bed, are you coming too?”

Her voice sounded uncertain- almost scared. Scared of being rejected, Robin knew and it broke his heart. So he nodded, anyway they needed to talk. Talk without an _insufferable_ prince sitting next to them.

Regina and Robin disappeared into their tent and Regina immediately laid down facing away from Robin. Robin wanted to say something but Regiina got there first.

“I’m sorry I tried to be better and failed again. I’m sorry.” Robin sighed, his anger melting at the self-loathing in her voice. “I know, milady.”

“H-he just made me so angry and I-I…” Regina whispered, tears already gathering in her eyes.

“He was a bloody idiot and had no right to talk to you like that, but Regina you can’t give anger the upper hand. You can’t let it control you like this.”

“I know, but I don’t know how to stop it,” Regina said quietly.

“Take a deep breath, and think about a memory which makes you happy. Distract yourself till the anger abates. Can you try this, love?”

At Regina’s nod Robin laid down too, pulling her towards him and kissing her temple, whispering “I love you Regina. We’re gonna work this out. Together.”

“You promise?” Regina asked pressing herself closer to Robin.

“I promise, milady.” They stayed like this for a while till both of them finally drifted off to sleep.

 

It was early in the morning when Regina woke from a vivid nightmare, a strangled scream leaving her lips. Thankfully not loud enough to wake either one of the men.

Regina was so angry at herself. Not just did she screw up again- she also let the things those _stupid_ guards said get to her. She had dreamt about Leopold.

Sure, her dear dead husband was a usual companion in her nightmares, but she had had a blessed break from him. She hated that even after all this years he still could hurt her; that damn bastard. Regina truly hoped he burnt in hell.

She needed air- couldn’t stay any longer in the narrow tent; she had to get the images out of her head. Images of _her-_ bloody, used, broken. She slowly got up- trying not to wake Robin- and went to the fire, even though the fire had gone out long ago.

Regina took a deep breath, trying to calm her shaking body. It was stupid- she was stupid- he was dead, she _killed_ him! She had been stronger, but the memories just wouldn’t go away.

The memories of being utterly helpless, of being at the mercy of the old moaning man atop of her. The memories of touches which should soothe, but left bruises.

Regina tried to breathe in and out, steady breaths. But she couldn’t stop the first tear from falling, and, oh god did she hate herself for it! She couldn’t keep her promise to Robin, and now she was about to cry about something that happened _ages_ ago. She was weak, pathetic, she was…

“Regina?” Regina jumped slightly as she felt Robin’s arm on her shoulder, and tensed. He immediately let go of her, and sat next to her.

“What happened?” Robin asked, still not daring to touch her. Robin had woken up and had searched for Regina next to him- his heart almost stopped at her absence. He had gone up and had almost laughed out loud from relief as he saw her sitting by the fire.

Well at least, until he saw her tense body; saw her shaking and shivering, and he felt even more concerned. It had likely had been one of her bloody nightmares which kept hurting his love, but this one seemed to rattle her rather severely.

“Milady?” Robin tried again, slowly reaching for her hand and she didn’t stop him taking it and rubbing comforting circles. She still didn’t answer, so Robin decided just to stay like this for a while. Give her time to center herself.

“I had a dream,” Regina whispered. Robin remained silent, waiting for her to continue. “About Leopold,” her words were so quiet Robin almost didn’t hear them.

“He hurt you, didn’t he?” Robin asked but it was more a statement than a question. He remembered her dreams when the poison still had its tight grip on her, remembered her begging- begging the King to stop hurting her.

“I was his wife, Robin,” was all Regina said and it broke Robin’s heart.

“That doesn’t matter that-” but Regina interrupted him her voice calm but her eyes showed her pain so clearly, it took Robin’s breath away.

“-It does. I was his Queen and therefore he owned me, and there wasn’t a day he would let me forget it,” Regina mumbled, still not looking at Robin.

“Did he force you to… you know…,” Robin asked, afraid that he already knew the answer, but Regina simply responded with “You can’t rape your wife Robin.” The line sounded learnt, as if it had been said to her dozens of times.

“Regina, that is not true! That-”

“Yes it is Robin, we both know that. It shouldn’t be, but it is.” And Robin couldn’t protest because deep down he knew she was right.

Despite the fact that he would rather die than _ever_ lay hand on Regina- to force her- he knew it was a common in their world. Especially in royal families.

“It wasn’t always bad, you know. When he was sober and in a good mood it wasn’t all that unpleasant. He was sometimes actually really nice, but then…” “But then…”Robin prompted, still holding her hand.

“The kingdom expected an heir, a son. Even though Leopold loved his precious _brat_ of daughter she was a girl, after all. Princes are safer bets in a power struggle than princesses.” Regina replied, still avoiding Robin’s gaze. “He wanted a son and I failed to give him one. At first he had been… uncaring about me, mostly when he called me to his chambers. But later… he was angry at me for not giving him the child he desired; for making him look like a fool in front of his friends, and that’s when he decided that it was time to..”

“To do what Regina?” Robin asked, trying to control the anger rising inside him.

“To p-punish me for my failures. He started to drink more and more, and when he was drunk he was rough , he started to beat me, to…,” Regina took a deep breath as she added “There wasn’t really a night anymore where I didn’t leave his chambers bloody and covered in bruises and, well other things.”

Robin stayed silent- he needed to because he needed some time to get his anger under control. “Everybody saw him as this wonderful kind King, they never saw how he was when h-he was like that.”

“It hurt so much, and the more I begged him to stop the rougher he became,” Regina whispered, tears now streaming down her cheeks as she added angrily --but still crying- “God I hated it- hated to feel so _damn_ helpless. To know that I wasn’t more than a _whore_ with a pretty face; a nice possession to show around- a punching bag in expensive dresses he oh-so-generously gave me, showing his wife; his _undying_ deep love,” Regina hissed.

“But none of this hurt so much as the way he used to look at me. Like I was nothing, weak,” Regina almost spat out the last word. “I’m nothing,” she repeated, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Robin took another deep breath, and then softly tipped her chin up and said- trying to be as sincere as possible “You are not nothing, nor weak Regina. You never were. You are smart and witty, and strong- so strong. There are so many things I love about you, but what I always truly admired was your strength. You are the most fascinating person I’ve ever met.”

Robin tucked a strand of her dark curls behind her ear as he continued “He is the one who is nothing. He hurt the person he was supposed to give his life to protect. None of this was your fault, milady. He used his power and status to force you to do things you didn’t want. He put you through _unimaginable_ things and you survived and I can’t tell you how proud I’m of you. “

“You are not nothing Regina- you are _everything_ ,” Robin said and that was all it took. Regina broke down into tears- her whole body shaking. Robin pulled her into a tight embrace and Regina came willingly, clutching at him and Robin hated the bloody King more and more.

Robin just held the sobbing Queen in his arms, pressing soft kisses on her hair line while he repeated “You are not nothing, you are everything.”

They stayed for this for quite some time- Regina crying in Robin’s arms and he trying to ease the pain, trying to make the love of his life understand how special she was, how she didn’t deserve any of this.

Robin never let go of her; held her till the sun was rising, all the while thinking how the King had been a _fucking bastard_ who hopefully burnt in hell. And that there was so much that people didn’t know- or didn’t care to know- about the woman everybody knew as the ‘Evil Queen’.

What Robin didn’t know, that he wasn’t the only asking this question. A certain shepherd had been awake and had heard the entire conversation; had remembered the fear in Regina’s eyes when he grabbed her.

His heart felt heavy when he thought about how his Snow would react to that news. He knew his love worshipped her father, but he knew Regina well enough to know that nothing of this had been a lie- and that fact would shatter Snow.

But the one thing that worried David even more was the wish to punch the King- if he wasn’t already dead.

He felt the need to protect this woman he utterly _hated_ \- but the more he saw of her, the more she was forced to let him see behind her mask, David began to understand Snow’s unwavering loyalty to Regina.

David went back to bed, shaking his head, but sleep didn’t find him. Maybe it was his concerns for Snow, or the simple fact that the last 24 hours showed that Regina might be more than a heartless witch with a sharp tongue. Or maybe it was just his concerns for Snow.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you had a great start into 2016 ;) So the search for Snow continues and we gonna met a new (old) friend along the way. Enjoy and please review!! I love your comments!!!  
> A special thanks to Abi for taking a look at my work!   
> As usual don’t own anything and I’m responsible for all mistakes made. If anyone of you wants to chat with me I can be found on Tumblr(@onceuponahappytime) or Twitter (@SophiiSunshine)

They didn’t know how long they were sitting there in each other’s embrace; how long it took for Regina’s tears to dry and Robin’s beating heart to calm down.

Robin knew that the King had been dead for quite a while by now, but just the thought of this bloody bastard hurting his love made Robin’s blood boil.

But since his anger wouldn’t help anyone he just sat there and held Regina; petted her hair and told her that she was safe now- that he would never let anyone hurt her again. Which was true- he would never let anyone lay a hand on her again, not as long as he could do something about it.

They only got up when they heard Charming’s voice behind them, asking surprisingly softly when they would continue their journey. His demanding tones from yesterday were practically gone- replaced by a kinder, calmer tone.

Had he heard anything this morning? Robin hoped not, since he knew it would make Regina uncomfortable.

“When we are ready Charming. You don’t rush into things without having a plan, that’s how you get killed. Not that I would mind someone chopping your head off,” Regina hissed.

To Robin’s surprise David only nodded and said “You are right. We shouldn’t rush.” Regina only looked at David for a moment before turning around and leaving both men alone.

To make sure he didn’t see her red puffy eyes Robin knew. He sighed as he watched her leave, aware that she needed a moment alone to compose herself before they could discuss their further actions.

As Robin’s turned to the shepherd he saw the men’s thoughtful glance. Robin bit his lip as he watched Charming slowly sitting down to wait for further instructions.

Maybe he was wrong, maybe it was a good thing that David might’ve heard some of his and Regina’s conversation.

Robin remembered David’s look at their first encounter, and despite that being not too long ago he could already see how Regina’s behavior confused him beyond means.

Well maybe the prince would finally learn that the world isn’t all black and white.

“We have to make breakfast. How about you gather wood and I take care of the rest?” Robin asked throwing him a short glance.

“Fine.” There was a moment of silence “Is she okay?” David’s voice was quiet, like he couldn’t decide if he actually was interested in the answer or not.

“Regina is alright,” Robin didn’t say more, he turned around to make sure breakfast would be ready before Regina came. He never would betray her trust (especially not to Charming) but the concern in the other man’s voice seemed genuine, so he remained friendly.

Regina had to take a few deep breaths to fight the _stupid_ tears back. The day had been very emotional- and it was still early. She sighed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. She just needed a moment before she was fine again- the Queen again.

Charming’s tone had been soft- almost caring- and it made Regina angry. Not too long ago the shepherd was shaking in fear of her- now he had seen her weak more often then she liked. Not that she liked it at all, but she had shown so much vulnerability in the last few hours she had made herself a target.

She could trust Robin with her pain, she knew that, but Charming? The stupid imbecile wasn’t just an idiot, he could become dangerous. Maybe his concern had been honest, which made Regina’s stomach twist with anxiety; she hated to be weak in front others. Or was he playing her; trying to catch her off guard.

Regina didn’t know which scenario scared her more.

As she looked around she knew she couldn’t hide behind their tent forever;-they were expecting her. Expecting her to find a way to find Snow, the woman she had spent the last few years hunting.

Regina laughed humourlessly. The situation was crazy! Crazy and painful and so many other things, some of which she couldn’t even (or wanted to) name. She sighed as she saw the sun had risen completely by now. It meant she had to go back. Regina rubbed her eyes, took another deep breath and walked back to the two men who were already waiting with breakfast for her.

She sat silently next to Robin, her eyes gazing over the burning fire (they had managed this time without her magic) and took the food with a soft smile. “Hey love, I hope you don’t mind. David and I tried our talent as cooks,” Robin told her, searching her dark orbs.

Her and Robin’s eyes met, unspoken concern for her in his. Regina took Robin’s hand and gave it a short squeeze to reassure him that she was fine.

“Are you two _sure_ you know what you’re doing?” Regina asked, looking uncertainly at the food in front of her.

“Yes milady we do. I did manage to stay alive - and didn’t poison myself along the way,” Robin replied with a smirk.

Charming only nodded, seemingly busy eating. When she saw him taking a bite without grimacing she decided she would take the chance and took a bite herself. The breakfast was surprisingly good and all of them ate in silence for a few moments.

As soon as Regina had eaten the last bite she straighten her spine and said “I’m gonna try to use magic again and…” but before she could end her sentence they were interrupted by a loud noise. Regina stood with a frown and approached the source of the noise, Robin close behind her.

Soon they realized what was making the sounds. Right behind the tree were horses- three of them actually. All of them not bothered by their sudden appearance, and one more beautiful than the other.

At least in Regina’s mind. She just now realized how much she had missed her horse. Sure neither of them were Rocinante, but she had missed the feeling of touching a horse, of riding on their back. Feeling- at last- something close to freedom.

Regina carefully came closer, whispering softly and she soon reached the first one; a stunning white horse. The animal didn’t hesitate and let Regina stroke him gently. Regina couldn’t suppress her smile. She loved horses- and they always seemed to be quite taken with her too.

Horses didn’t judge. Not like people.

With a wave of her hand an apple appeared, and it didn’t take long before the animal had eaten the whole thing. Regina kept stroking the stallion tenderly, not realizing that the two men behind her were watching her intensely.

A certain thief because the picture of Regina softly smiling and petting the horse was a heart-warming sight, and the shepherd… well because who had known Evil Queens could be so good with animals?

Likely since they wanted a piece too the other two horses came closer and soon Regina was surrounded by the three animals, taking turns caressing and feeding them. Suddenly, she spotted the men behind her, but turned back to the horses.

“These horses will let us ride them. We can use them to move further along,” Regina explained to them. As she turned around and her eyes locked with Robin’s she forgot to breath for a moment.

The intensity of his gaze nearly blew her over. She could see so much love and pride in them.

“That’s a fine idea, love. David I’m sure you know how to ride?” Robin asked neutrally but not without winking at Regina. She smirked, happy that her soulmate shared some annoyance with their _dear_ shepherd.

Regina expected David to snap at Robin (and was always ready to scold the idiot for it) but he surprised her again when he only said “Yes, I’m very capable of riding Robin. Despite what Regina might’ve told you I’m not a complete idiot.”

But he didn’t sound pissed, his reply was soft despite the sharp words. He seemed to be going easy on her.

Regina bit her lip, her hand finding its way anxiously to her stomach to center herself. The damn shepherd had definitely heard more than he should have. But what was done was done, and worrying about it would only slow her (and therefore their entire rescue team) down.

“Well then, let’s not waste time,” Regina replied

She waved her hand over Snow’s ring again, both Robin and David looking expectantly at her. But like before the ring only glowed for a moment and then went out. Regina sighed as Robin asked her “We’re still too far away aren’t we?”

“Yes we are,” Regina replied, looking angrily at her own hands. Many things had failed her in her life but magic wasn’t one of them. She knew that after only a day she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up but this entire situation was painful. Just thinking of her step-daughter led to so many emotions Regina didn’t want to feel; moments in her life she didn’t want to remember.

Regina wanted it to be over- to go back the life she was building with Robin and Roland. Not out here in the woods arguing with the idiot of shepherd over what might be the best plan to rescue the brat who destroyed her life. It wasn’t like she didn’t have enough problems before Snow’s true love stumbled into their camp.

“So what do we do Regina?” Charming asked, frowning in concern.

“We keep going north till my magic can find Snow. How often do I have to explain that to you till it gets into your blockhead?” Regina hissed, rolling her eyes.

“Only wanted to be sure,” David muttered, glaring at her. Regina shrugged, unimpressed, and turned her attention to Robin.

“Robin, which horse do you want?” Regina asked, smiling softly at him.

Said man was too busy chuckling over her and David’s banter to answer immediately. “Ladies first. They all seem strong and fit.”

“I’ll take the bay horse,” Charming spoke up before Regina could say anything, earning his second eye roll today.

“No manners Charming, what a shocking surprise,” Regina snarled before going over to the white horse. With a wave of her hand all the horses were saddled.

All three weren’t too happy with their new accessories, but after a few calming words off Regina they relaxed and let all present people climb on them. Charming clearly nervous, holding the reins tightly.

“You have to relax Charming. The horse can feel your fear,” Regina told him keeping her voice low. What prince didn’t know how to deal with horses?

But getting annoyed and telling him in explicit words how stupid he was would only cost them time, so Regina instructed him softly, helping him so he didn’t make a complete fool of himself on the animal (and trying to avoid losing more time- there was a little boy waiting for her after all)

As Charming was at least _somewhat_ confident on the horse Regina’s eyes searched for Robin, who was already sitting on his mare grinning, amused at her. He didn’t have any problems with animals. He was as good with them as with people- calm and kind but firm.

As soon her stallion made his first steps Regina breathed in, enjoying the feeling of freedom she always felt on the back of a horse. She and Robin shared another look, and then all of them continued their journey north.

They spent their time riding, mostly in silence; Robin and Regina sometimes exchanging soft smiles and adoring looks (or amused smirks at Charming’s still clear troubles with the animal) and speaking about Roland’s latest attempt of shooting an arrow, and if weapons were actually appropriate toys for a little boy.

“But Regina he needs to learn at some point, and the earlier the better,” Robin explained to her earning a roll of her eyes.

“Robin he is a little boy, and despite that I agree that he should learn at some point to defend himself… Roland running around with pointy sticks doesn’t concern you at all?” Regina asked eye brows raised.

“Milady, I won’t let him ‘ _run around with pointy sticks_ ’ by himself. I’ll teach him; teach him how to aim, how to be faster than everybody else,” Robin replied.

“Faster then everybody… does that include squirrels?” Regina smirked at Robin’s gasp and laughed softly when he looked at her and shouted “Those animals are _unbelievably_ fast I can tell you! No one would’ve stood a chance and… oh don’t look so smug, Your Majesty.”

That was it for Regina. She started to laugh with all her heart, completely forgetting Charming and why they were here, forgetting all the pain and questions for a moment. Robin looked at her, offended, before he burst into laughter too.

Their laughs only increased when they looked behind them and saw Charming’s confused face. After both of them calmed down they shared another glance, looking straight ahead again- still biting their lips to suppress any more laughter which might have had more to do with David’s facial expression than the squirrel story.

Robin thoughtfully watched Regina next to him. They had fallen into silence after their little banter. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, even though with Regina it rarely was.

Robin enjoyed being with her; talking, laughing, making love but sometimes it was just nice being together in silence. Like now (well, if you ignore the prince riding behind them).

Regina’s whole body language had changed as soon as she was with the horses. She seemed more relaxed than she had been since they started their little adventure, and from time to time Robin even could catch a little smile on her face. It was soft but honest, and it made her even more beautiful than she already was. The tension on her shoulders was slowly disappearing.

Her dark orbs -which were so troubled before now- had a glint in them. She seemed somewhat at peace, and Robin made a note to himself to take her riding more often when they were back home.

Wherever home meant.

This whole mess was hard on his love, Robin knew that; could see it plainly every time he looked at her; could see the struggle in her chocolate coloured eyes, the struggle to do the right thing to not give into the rage- not letting the pain consume her.

Like it had so many times before. But now she wasn’t alone anymore, she wouldn’t need to face anything without him at her side.

They were riding most of the day, only stopping for short breaks to eat and make sure the horses were taken care of. Shortly before sundown Robin told them it was time to make camp, he countered Charming’s protest they would only waste time with a simple “You have to be alive to save your princess, David. So sit down and rest for a few bloody hours.”

Regina made dinner (she was by far the best cook, which wasn’t really a surprise) and soon after all of them went to bed. It had been a long day.

“Please don’t, please stop” Regina’s whimpers pulled Charming out of his slumber. He was disoriented for a moment, trying to figure out what made those noises.

David slowly got up and listened “I’ll be a good girl, I promise.” The loud “No, please don’t” that followed sounded so desperate it was heart wrenching.

David didn’t know what to do. Regina was clearly having a rather vicious nightmare, and for some reason that damn thief wasn’t around to comfort her. David debated what his next move should be. Robin had disappeared, gone doing whatever thieves do in the middle of the night- and the shepherd didn’t know what to do.

He wished Snow was here with him; she would know if going to the Queen and trying to wake her up was a good or a deadly stupid idea. David lay back down, knowing that Regina wouldn’t accept comfort from him anyway- and a part of him thought she even deserved whatever dreams were troubling her.

She had hurt so many, it was only fair that she got hurt for once too.

But at the next cry from her David realized that excuse he just used to justify not going to her was crap.

People who were never hurt didn’t have nightmares like that. People who were never hurt likely didn’t turn into Evil Queen’s to begin with, David thought with a sigh.

He slowly got up and left the tent, walking towards Regina’s tent and looking again for Robin.

David searched for the other man one last time, before he sighed and carefully crawled into the tent, finding her tossing and turning with tears streaming down her face, but still firmly asleep. He had been wrong; whatever that dream was about it wasn’t only troubling her, it was deeply hurting her.

She cried out again, sounding so scared. David tried to think if he had ever had such vivid nightmares, and came to the conclusion that he never seen anybody hurting so much in their sleep.

David gently shook Regina’s shoulder and when she didn’t react he shook a bit firmer, and then finally her dark eyes popped open. But as they did David’s breath caught in this throat as he saw the pain in them. Raw and powerful pain, and it made David question anything he ever heard about the Evil Queen.

A heartless, cruel witch not capable of feeling anything. But seeing her now David knew that that had been nonsense.

David realized the hard way that hovering over a person waking up from a horrible nightmare might not have been the best idea. Before he could do anything Regina had fixed on him, and apparently seen him as a threat because the next thing he knew was that he got punched in the face. Hard.

For a moment David only saw stars (from where did such a tiny woman find so much strength?)

“Regina! Stop it’s me David… Charming. I’m not gonna hurt you.” He softly held both of her wrists to stop her from hitting him again. _Damn_ it really hurt- she might’ve broken his nose- but he couldn’t be angry at her. Not after seeing that look in her eyes. That fear, the trembling of her lip, her whole body shaking.

“It’s alright Regina, it was only a dream. You are safe,” he tried to calm her down.

“Charming?” Regina whispered, trying to focus on him. “Yes it’s me. You had a bad dream a-and Robin wasn’t around so I thought…” Well David didn’t know what else to say so he only watched her trying to regain composure- and failing miserably.

As David followed her frightened gaze to her wrists- more specifically to his hold on them- he let go of her as if he was burnt, but she was still not really reacting and that now scared David.

He had only known her as the invincible, scary, powerful Queen, but now she looked so hurt, so vulnerable, so… young.

She still trembled, so David cautiously but gently stroked comforting circles on her arm, surprised that she didn’t shake him off. They both then shared a look and David could see Regina centring herself and slowly becoming herself again.

She opened her mouth to say something, but then the tent entrance was ripped open and Robin stood there, looking from Regina’s tears stained face to Charming’s concerned frown- back and forth.

“What happened?” Robin asked calmly, seeing that Regina was clearly upset and David slightly confused (which seemed to happen to him rather often lately)

“Regina had… no I’d better be going,” David mumbled and made his way past Robin and out of the tent.

“Regina, love, you alright?” Robin asked softly, coming slowly closer. Regina still seemed to be as confused as the man who just left their tent.

“Did Charming do something?” Robin questioned even though he was rather sure a nightmare was the reason his love was so upset. It wasn’t the first time he danced this dance after all.

“N-no he didn’t d-do anything. He j-just…I had a nightmare.” Regina whispered tears falling down her cheeks.

“Do you wanna talk about it milady?” Robin muttered, lying next to her and tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

“No. I-I can’t Robin. Not n-now I just w-want…” Robin couldn’t hear what Regina exactly wanted because she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, so he only gathered her into his arms and held her close. He kissed her hairline softly and stroked up and down her back while she sobbed in his embrace.

They stayed like this till the sun rose, and as Regina slowly exited the tent before Robin she had to swallow hard. She was embarrassed.

She had lost her composure in front of the _damn_ shepherd; had cried practically in his arms about some _stupid_ dream (which still rattled her more than she liked to admit)

And to make it even worse he had been _nice-_ even tried to sooth her and Regina knew what that meant now. He had seen her weak again and it wouldn’t take long till he would use it against her… till he-

“Hey Regina,” Charming’s voice ripped her out of her thoughts, startling her. “Charming, what do you want?” Regina snarled, glaring at him.

“I only wanted to ask how you are?” He questioned almost shyly.

“I’m fine shepherd. Despite your annoying presence and the misfortune of seeing your stupid grin the third morning in a row, I’m fine,” Regina replied knowing that her sharp answer wasn’t actually sharp, but sounded more like an weak attempt.

“Last night…” David started but Regina cut him off immediately “Is none of your business, Charming.”

“Yes right of course,” David already turned around to leave but then he had the need to tell her something “I never understood what Snow saw in you. For me you were never more than a heartless selfish witch, hungry for power, but now…”

“Now what Charming? What I am now?” Regina growled ready to cut him into pieces but his answer surprised her.

“The strongest woman I’ve likely ever met.”

Their eyes met and in that moment something developed between them. It wasn’t friendship, but it was respect.

David turned on his heel, leaving an utterly surprised Queen behind him.

“Well milady, I can only agree with that,” Robin whispered, his arms coming from behind to pull her back to him, his chin on her shoulder, his hands finding hers and squeezing softly.

“He might be less of a bloody idiot then we thought,” Robin mumbled into her ear.

“But just a bit less,” Regina replied turning around pressing a gentle kiss on his lips.

Regina lost her balance for a second; everything was suddenly spinning and she was only preventing from falling by Robin’s quick reflexes.

“Woah! Milady, are you alright?” Robin asked in concern, pulling her close again. Regina took a deep breath, trying to keep the sudden nausea at bay.

“Yes I’m fine, just a bit dizzy. The dream might have shaken me more than I thought,” Regina replied softly, leaning into him. Robin pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, relaxing at Regina’s reassuring smile.

Soon after that they saddled their horses again and rode north, getting closer and closer to Maleficent’s castle. Most of their journey was made in silence, in their own thoughts.

Robin, worrying about Regina and her dreams- even more specifically her rather heavy reaction to it. He wanted to keep all pain away from her, but knew that was an impossible task. He would still try though- he had to.

Regina, about her stomach’s sudden revolt. She still felt queasy. She knew the last few weeks had taken their toll on her, but her body was used to taking a blow; used to painful or stressful situations. Maybe trying to rescue a person she wasn’t sure whether she hated or loved was more than her damaged heart could take, and her body was simply voicing it.

David, on the other hand, watched Regina as closely as Robin- trying to figure out these new feelings he had for the Queen. Something had changed between them, the hate slowly changing to mutual respect and David wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

But maybe this was something to worry about when they found his Snow. He refused to think that the correct phrasing might’ve been _if_ they find Snow, not when, but he was a hopeful fool- always had been. And he wouldn’t give up on Snow- never! He just never thought that the woman hunting them might become an ally at some point.

That is, if he wasn’t reading the whole situation wrong, and with Regina… well that could happen.

And so they continued their journey day after day, night after night, not getting anywhere closer to finding Snow. Regina’s magic failing over and over again. But they kept searching, trying to find the princess; driven by Charming’s hope, Robin’s optimism and Regina’s determination they kept going, going north.

**Two weeks later**

 

It was close to nightfall when they stopped at a forest glade, tired of another day of riding. The men got the things they needed for their meal and Regina was about to wave her hand to light up the fire, but before she could raise her hand the flames already appeared.

All three stared, confused, at the ground where the fire was burning hot and strong. Knowing how it was supposed to look when Regina used magic to summon fire they all searched for the source of the magic.

“Hello, little one,” a soft voice behind them made all three spin around, mouths open at the woman who had appeared in front of them.

Her long blond hair fell down in waves, a kind smile on her face as her amused blue eyes found Regina’s confused dark ones, her smile only growing at Regina’s surprised gasp “Maleficent?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people! How has your week been? I know its been some while but law school is quite intense at the moment…  
> But well here’s the next chapter. We’ll have quite some DragonQueen in this chapter but don’t worry our Queen and Thief will have more than one rather important moment with each other…
> 
> Thank you again to Abi for taking a look at my work even though she was sick thanks hun!!!  
> As usual I’m responsible for all mistakes made and don’t own anything. If you want to talk to me I can be found on Twitter(NEW NAME )(@onceuponahappy) or Tumblr(@onceuponahappytime)

“Maleficent?” Regina only could stare at the woman in front of her. The last time she saw the blonde was when she got the sleeping curse from her. Simply the thought of anther failed attempt for revenge left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Regina knew that they had to have been rather close to the dragon’s castle, but the sudden appearance of her friend? Ex-lover? Whatever Maleficent was, she startled her.

She never knew what to feel when it came to Mal. On the one hand this had been the woman who taught her many things; the one person who showed her that sex didn’t actually mean pain and helplessness but could be something enjoyable.

She had been the one who listened to Regina’s ramblings about vengeances; had held her when she couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, and encouraged her to take what was rightfully hers.

Regina did know on the other hand that Maleficent was dangerous and as broken as she was. Trusting her might be too big of a risk. Still… there had been a time when the dragon was the only person Regina let- at least somewhat- close to her- held up by her strength and soothed by the rare moments of gentleness and care the other woman offered her.

Regina was ripped out of her thoughts as she realized that Robin and Charming had drawn their swords. Both men aimed their weapons at the other woman, who didn’t even blink. She then turned her attention again fully at Regina, smirking slightly.

“Long time no see, little one. Even though I did expect a slightly more _kind_ welcome. Would you tell your… well… _whatever_ they are to put their weapons down, or I’ll have them for dinner,” Maleficent said, still watching them unimpressed.

“Robin, Charming, lower your weapons. She won’t hurt us,” Regina ordered, throwing a reassuring glance at Robin. “Are you sure milady?” Robin asked, lowering his sword as soon as she nodded. It still surprised her from time to time how blindly he trusted her and her instincts by now.

“I can’t say I’m unhappy to see you, Mal, but what are you doing here?” Regina asked, looking curiously at her old friend. “Well _Your Majesty,_ you crossed borders into my domain. You know I don’t deal well with trespassers,” the blonde woman answered with a soft smile.

“True,” Regina said, laughing and walking closer to the other woman; who, to her surprise Maleficent pulled her into a tight embrace. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it was far more open affection than Regina was used to.

“We are looking for… Snow,” Regina told her, avoiding the dragon’s gaze. “Snow? As in your step-daughter Snow?” Maleficent asked, surprised.

“Exactly her and before you ask… it’s a long story.” Regina answered, still not looking at her friend. “I figured. So an easier question; I know the one who looks stupid but would do nicely as a morsel is Prince James. Who is your other- rather handsome- companion?” Maleficent asked, making Charming squirm in fear.

“Mal behave,” Regina threw a warning glare. She knew Mal was only joking, but she was also aware of her friend’s temper that could be very similar to her own. Charming had defiantly screwed her friend over at some point- she could tell that much by the look Maleficent was throwing at the shepherd. But Regina didn’t have time to deal with old debts; they needed to find Snow so she could finally go home.

“That is Robin, he is….” Regina went silent. Yes- what was Robin? Her boyfriend? That sounded so… strange and simple for what they had. But she didn’t have to bother, Mal only nodded, a knowing smile now appearing on her face.

“I’m very happy for you, little one,” She told Regina, softly tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. A gentle gesture for the blonde; especially with audience, but Regina couldn’t deny that she missed the other woman.

Maleficent then stared for a moment at Robin, trying to remember where she had seen his face before. Then it hit her. “Robin Hood, if I’m not mistaken. You’re going for a thief, little one? Interesting choice…”

Neither Robin nor Regina said anything, only exchanged a soft smile.

“How about your boys go do… well whatever they were about to do, and we go for a little walk? We have a lot of catching up to do, Regina,” Maleficent suggested and Regina simply nodded. Yes it was good idea, and maybe her old friend could help them- maybe they finally could make some progress.

Regina turned around and walked to Robin, taking his hand into her own. “Prepare camp and get dinner ready. I’ll be back soon.” Robin’s grip at her hands tightened as he answered.

“Love, are you sure you can trust her? Maleficent is…” Regina interrupted him by pressing her lips onto his for a few seconds. The kiss was short, but it did its job. Robin shut up, and now only looked worried.

“She is my… friend Robin. She was there whenever Leopold… you know. I trust her, and she might be able to help us find Snow. We need help and we need it soon. I want to go home with you, home to our son. So please trust me on this,” Regina said gently, pressing her forehead against his.

“Alright milady, but please be careful. And if you aren’t home in an hour I’m gonna go searching for you.” “You would fight a dragon for me?” Regina asked playfully, nipping softly at his lip. “I would do anything for you,” Robin answered, and that almost made Regina cry. She had expected a sassy remark but the way he looked at her made her catch her breath. He was smirking slightly, but his gaze was so intense that Regina knew he had meant every word. He actually _would_ do anything for her.

Nobody had done anything for her, unless it served their own purposes, and this man- this good and caring man- would fight a dragon for her, accepting death as a possible outcome as long as she was safe.

Regina’s voice was tight as she pressed another kiss on Robin’s lips and whispered “I love you.”

“I love you too, and Regina… just be careful alright?” Robin asked, and after Regina nodded he let her go. Another quality she loved about him; he always tried to protect her but never patronized her- never took her choice away.

Regina and Mal walked side by side, neither saying a word, till Regina finally sighed and looked into her friend’s bright blue eyes. “Ask, Mal. Before you explode.”

“Why?” Maleficent simply asked. There was no judgment in her voice only surprise and maybe a touch concern. “Because Snow’s missing and somebody needs to find the _dear_ princess.”

“But why you, Regina? Why after _everything_?” Maleficent’s eyes searched her brunette friend’s dark ones. The dragon always smirked when she thought about how well the Queen was hiding her emotions… as long nobody looked into her eyes. Those dark orbs always had been the window to Regina’s soul.

“Because nobody kills Snow but me,” Regina answered actively, trying to avoid her friend’s gaze. “It’s me, little one. What’s the _real_ reason?” Regina sighed, she should’ve know Maleficent wouldn’t be so easily satisfied.

“Honestly? I don’t know…” Regina told her, finally looking up. Maleficent only stayed silent and waited for her to continue. “Robin said… he said if I wanted to truly be happy I need to forgive her that I-I need to move on and that I can’t do that if she’s dead.”

“Wise man, your Robin. You love him, don’t you?” Maleficent questioned, leaning against the next tree. Regina again stayed silent for a moment before she looked straight into the blonde woman’s eyes and nodded. “Yes Mal, I do. Very much. H-he helps me to be better, while still accepting me. He’s a good man.”

“Good. You deserve it. Just make sure he knows if he ever treats you badly I’ll fry him.” Maleficent winked at her but Regina didn’t doubt for a second that she wouldn’t go through with her threat if necessary.

“Thank you,” Regina said, squeezing Mal’s hand softly. “Do you know how we can find Snow? ”Regina asked, hoping the older woman had some advice. “I’ve been trying the locater spell but it seems there’s a protection wall around wherever Snow is. Can you help us?”

Maleficent stayed silent for a few seconds, before she gently stroked Regina’s cheek and smiled. There was a sudden sadness in her blue eyes, but it disappeared moments later.

“No, little one, I can’t find your princess,” Regina couldn’t stop herself from feeling disappointed. She had been so sure the dragon would be able to help them.

“But you can,” Maleficent mumbled, tucking a strand of Regina’s dark curls behind her ear again. “No Mal, I can’t. I’ve been trying and trying; I keep failing,” Regina responded, shaking her head.

“You keep failing because your dark magic isn’t strong enough.” Regina looked – confused- at her friend. “But Mal, dark magic is all that I have…”

“No, little one, it isn’t. That never has been the case, but now… it’s clearer that ever. Your magic has changed since the last time we met, Regina. Can’t you feel it?”

“What do you mean?” Regina asked, confused. Mal only stroked her cheek again and Regina leaned into the touch. “You haven’t used magic lately that felt unfamiliar, but soft and tender?” Mal still smiled at her.

Regina gasped in surprise as a memory flashed before her eyes. Robin lying on the ground, bleeding, dying and she… she had used magic to save him but it had been different; powerful but warm, raw but gentle, like a loving touch- strong and protective.

“Yes, that’s what I thought,” Maleficent grinned knowingly. “You do have light magic… how powerful I can’t say- you’ll have to figure that out by yourself. But what I can tell you is that the only way to find Snow is through this kind of magic.”

“How?” Regina asked, hating how young she sounded. It was like the first time she met the blonde woman; how she came into her castle scared and desperate for answers.

“You know where all light magic roots in- love.” “But I don’t love-” “-Yes you do Regina, you always have. Remember when I told you that sometimes hate and love lie closely to each other? Maybe your handsome outlaw is right about forgiveness. I don’t know how I’ve never been able to, but you have a chance to try it. We both know that there’s a part of you that always will love the princess, and that’s the part where the magic has to start.”

“You’re sure there’s no other way? Some way I might don’t have to go to Robin and tell him he was right all along. He’ll be insufferable,” Regina muttered, only earning a roll of Maleficent eyes.

“You asked, and I gave you an answer. If it isn’t one you like I can’t help you,” “It’s not that I don’t like the answer Mal… at least not entirely,” Regina said, trying to ignore the blonde’s smirk. “It’s more that I _know_ I don’t have it in me. My heart is… dark a-and not a place where light ever would be so stupid to come close.” Regina whispered, the self-loathing in her voice breaking the dragon’s heart.

“You love your thief don’t you? And he loves you?” Maleficent looked at the younger woman and added at Regina’s nod “See, little one? This is all the proof you need. You know light can be snuffed out, why is it so hard to believe that darkness, too, can be chased away?”

“Robin is a fool; a wonderful kind and caring one, but a fool nevertheless. He is good Mal- his heart is as big and pure as mine is small and black. Our love for each other… it’s his goodness, not mine,” Regina said, tears in her dark eyes.

“I’m quite sure your thief would see that rather differently, Regina. Remember when I told you about the fire inside you?” Mal asked, continuing as the brunette whispered a soft “Yes”

“The fire roots in your heart, little one. If you are angry and hateful it causes destruction; if you are in love and you try to protect those close to you it turns into something else. Your capacity to love and care after everything that you did and was done to you has always amazed me. Everybody has light and darkness, little one, it depends which side you’re gonna chose for what comes next. You love and hate Snow White… you wanna find her then make the right choice. You- and _only you-_ can decide who you want to be, Regina. Not I, not Robin, not Snow- You.”

Both women didn’t speak for a few moments; both in their own thoughts. The thought of having light magic… it scared and thrilled Regina at the same time. What did it mean for her? Did it actually mean she could be more than the Evil Queen? That Robin had been right (again…) that there really was good in her? Was it also a good thing? Or would it make her weak? Was she worth it?

“You have a son with the thief?” Maleficent suddenly spoke up. Regina looked thoughtfully at her friend as she answered “Yes- Roland. He’s five and a wonderful boy.” “Mhh five; so he isn’t yours biologically….” Now it was Regina’s turn to interrupt her friend.

“No he isn’t, but that doesn’t matter- he is as much my son as he would be if I had given birth to him. I love him more than anything. Blood doesn’t matter Mal, love does. I thought you knew that? Despite that I told you about the potion, dear, you know I can’t.”

Regina threw a surprised glance at the other woman. It never occurred to her that the dragon was somebody who would view it differently; if a child was taken in by choice or grew in her womb. It made her inhale sharply, thinking back to the conversation she had with Robin about a week ago.

_It was late- close to midnight- and Regina was leaning against a tree, thinking of the last time Robin and she made love, when she was pushed against a tree very similar to this one. She thought about how happy she had been that night, how content. Regina knew that finding Snow could push her life in many different directions, but one thing she was sure (Well- as sure as somebody life kept kicking could be) that she would have Robin and Roland at her side no matter what._

_At least she was till tonight, tonight as Robin’s hand wandered to her belly speaking of their future children, and the fear had been there. She hadn’t told him about the potion nor about the miscarriages she had had in the past. When Regina drank the potion she hadn’t even been sure that she would be able to carry a child to term, but her mother… if she had gotten pregnant back then her mother would’ve found a way to make sure she wouldn’t have lost the baby._

_She had regretted drinking it the second she realized what she had done… even though a part of her had been relieved. She loved children of course; wanted to be a mother desperately, but a child grown inside her… with her genes. What if they turned out like her? Like her mother? What if she would be the same kind of mother her own had been? Combine that with her rotten genetics and you have a recipe for disaster… or at least for a lot of pain. Not to mention if Cora had gotten the child into her hands. Regina had to protect every child from what she had to go through._

_Regina loved Roland so much it almost hurt. She always had understood that the bond of love was far more important than that of blood, but now … she still believed it, but to have a child with Robin… it would’ve been nice. Although Robin’s words startled her. It still hurt but she was content with Roland- loving him was far more than she ever thought she would have._

_But what if it wasn’t enough for Robin? What if he wanted to have more children, wanted her to bear them? Would he leave if he knew?_

_Regina was about to panic again- and like always Robin sensed it. She suddenly felt arms coming around her pulling her closer; his chin on her shoulder as he asked “Love, what’s bothering you? You’ve been on edge since we went to bed. Did I do something to upset you?”_

_Robin- good kind Robin- was already there trying to soothe, to ease, not knowing that as usual she was the problem; that he was a fool for loving her. Regina stayed silent, one single tear falling down her cheek. Robin softly took her hands and turned her around so they were facing each other, and tipped her chin up._

_“Love, please talk to me.”_

_And that was all it took, and the words tumbling out of Regina’s mouth were only interrupted by her sobbing as she tried to tell him the whole story._

_The story about how she miscarried twice before the age of 20. How much it hurt losing something she hated at first because it was his, but still grew to love before it was taken away from her. What her mother did and how she reacted to that betrayal. She told him about taking the potion causing her inability to have children of her own, told him how much it hurt, how much everything hurts._

_Robin had let her talk and talk and cry and cry till Regina was exhausted. He simply held her close, rubbing softly up and down her back till she had neither tears nor words left._

_“Regina, love, look at me,” Robin waited till she did “I love you so much, there are no words to explain it. I want to spent the rest of my life with you, and if that means it’s just Roland, you and me I’ be_ more _than happy.”_

_“But if you take another woman she could…” Robin silenced her by pressing a soft kiss on her lips “I don’t want anybody else; I want you. We already have a son, and maybe someday fate will gift us with another child in some way or another and if not… I don’t care. I already have everything that I need.”_

_“Are you sure?” Regina asked, uncertain. “I’m sure, Regina. I didn’t choose you so you can bear my children. Roland is enough and if we might come by a child who needs a home…,” Robin answered, kissing her temple tenderly._

_“It won’t matter it won’t be yours?” Regina questioned, shyly. “Every child that we accept in our home will be mine, Regina, whether if it’s ours by blood or choice.”_

_This time it was Regina who kissed him; crushing her lips onto his in a passionate kiss- fingers roaming, exploring each other. Soon the touches got more heated, clothes got rid of. Robin’s fingers found their way between her tights, stroking; his tongue on her clit and his hand on her mouth to silence any screams. Neither of them cared whether Charming interrupted- even if his face might’ve been priceless._

_They went to bed after they both came; Robin deep inside her, one hand kneading her breast the other in her dark curls. Regina slept well that night- no nightmare was hunting her. Robin’s arms securely around her, her head on his shoulder, she felt safe. Safe and loved._

“Oh I do know that, little one. And I agree fully with you. That’s not why I brought it up,” Maleficent told her, looking at her in a way Regina didn’t understand. “Then why did you bring it up?” Regina asked, confused, no idea where this conversation was heading.

“Well honey because your little boy will have a sibling.” Mal answered with raised eyebrows, and her lips curved into a soft smile.

“A sibling? Mal did you take too much from that seawater stuff again?” Regina asked, laughing. Her laughter stopped immediately as she saw her friend’s suddenly serious gaze.

“Maleficent I’m in no mood for games. What the hell are you talking about?” Regina looked expectantly at the dragon. “I’m talking about the fact that potion or not, you’re pregnant. Thought you were more snappy than usual and you put on weight by the way,” Maleficent added dryly.

Regina could only stare for a moment; the whole world was spinning. Pregnant? She couldn’t be, she made sure of it. She couldn’t… this was insanity- or one of Mal’s stupid jokes (or the dragon was _again_ high as hell). Regina’s trembling hand instinctively went to her stomach- her still flat stomach. She couldn’t … it wasn’t possible, no it actually _wasn’t_ possible.

“The potion worked; you’re wrong, Maleficent,” Regina told her, shaking her head. Trying to shake off the paralyzing fear and even worse- the flame of hope.

“A dragon’s nose doesn’t lie, little one. We both know magic has its way and every curse can be broken; every potion undone. I don’t know how or why it happened, but it did. You are pregnant, and if I would have to guess I would say about two and a half weeks.”

Regina’s hand pressed against her stomach, and she told herself to take deep breathes. Two and a half weeks… if she was honest with herself she had known something was wrong.

She had felt sick at more mornings than she could count; had felt dizzy after using just a bit magic; had been hungrier since… well since ever. And that warm and soft tickle she felt sometimes… she hadn’t known what to make of it- hadn’t understood it. A baby… it was crazy, and frightening but mostly crazy.

“Breathe, little one. You need to breathe,” Mal’s voice ripped her out of her little breakdown. She looked at her friend. Scared dark orbs found blue calm ones. Blue calm eyes… Robin. What would he say? Would he be happy? He said it didn’t matter where their children came from (and she believed him; knew that he had meant every single word).

“I’m pregnant?” Regina- again- hated how young she sounded but _damn_ she was scared out of her mind. Scared of the whole situation and even more about the feeling she had long abandoned- hope. Hope that maybe- just maybe- the odds were for once in her favor.

“Yes, Regina, you are. I’m positive,” Maleficent answered, and then took the shaking woman into her arms, pressing a soft kiss on her hairline. “It’s gonna be ok, Regina.”

Regina walked silently back to the camp. She had said goodbye to her friend; had thanked her for everything (mostly for calming her down) and was now unsure of what to do. That news… well it had been unexpected. So much was happening; so much was changing in such a short time, and Regina was so afraid.

Afraid that this taste of happiness- of another life- was all she would get before it was snatched away from her again. She thought about Roland, about her dear little boy, her whole world. God she missed him, and his adorable dimples, his bright smile; her little knight. How would he react to having a little brother or sister? He probably would be excited to finally have somebody to play with, Regina thought with a smile, her hand again finding its way to her stomach again.

And Robin? Robin loved her (why she would likely never understand) and he loved children- he would be happy to be a father no matter how. He made that much clear. Was this actually it? Was this her second chance?

Robin was worried. He had tried to keep himself busy; had made sure everything was ready when Regina returned. He knew his soulmate trusted the other woman but… he had almost lost her so many times, not knowing made him nervous. But this woman was clearly important to Regina, so he would trust her on this. Still- it didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to be concerned.

“She has good taste, I have to give her that.” Maleficent’s voice startled Robin so much the piece of wood he was holding fell to the ground with a dull thud. “Bloody hell, Maleficent,” Robin shouted, his heart hammering.

“I apologize, thief. I just wanted to make sure you got my messages before I leave,” the blonde woman said, smiling, but her eyes flashed dangerously.

“What message? Is Regina alright?” Robin asked, alarmed. “Yes she is fine, don’t worry. She’ll be here any moment. But I want to talk to you alone,” Maleficent answered, making Robin curious. What could she want from him?

“Regina is one of the very few people I do care about, and I’ll do anything to protect her. She loves you and your boy, and she trusts you. I know she doesn’t do either easily, so you must have earned it. But if you should ever hurt her in any way, I’ll destroy you. I’ll rip you apart till you beg for death, and I’ll have you for dinner. Are we clear, thief?” She was completely calm, but it was obvious that she meant every word.

Robin would‘ve been angry, but knowing that this woman would do anything to protect Regina put a smile on his face.

“I understand. I promise you that I’ll never intentionally hurt her, and will protect her with my life if necessary. As long as I have a choice I’ll make sure she has everything she wants. I know your threat of having me for dinner is your way of protecting her, and I’m bloody happy to know she has someone like you… even if this someone has a rather strange food of choice. But I love her with every fiber of my being and will do so till my last breath.”

“Good, that’s all I wanted to hear,” and with those words Maleficent disappeared, leaving Robin behind- who now finally relaxed. Regina’s friend or not, that woman did scare him a bit. He respected her very much for what she just said, but threatened to be eaten… that was indeed bloody creepy- even for what he was used to.

“Robin?” He startled slightly as he heard Regina behind him but then walked to her as fast as he could.

“Everything alright, milady?” He asked stroking gently over her cheek. He could see that she was upset, but there was also a sparkle in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. She seemed happy and sad; excited and terrified at the same time.

“I-I…” Regina started but then they were interrupted. “Guys dinner is ready- move your butts over here.” Regina already turned away from Robin, walking towards Charming and the bonfire. “Regina wait what-?” But Regina only took his hand and said “Later, Robin, I c-can’t. Not now,” and dragged him with her.

They ate in silence- Charming had clearly picked up that something was wrong and shut up for once. It was only when everybody was done when he couldn’t keep it in anymore, Charming spoke. “Did Maleficent know a way to find Snow Regina?”

Regina hesitated, and then looked directly at David. “She has Charming, but I might not have what she said we would need,” Regina’s answer was quiet. She had first thought about telling him to shut the fuck up or something like that, but the desperate look in his eyes stopped her.

“What is it?” David asked, carefully. There was a moment of silence, but when Regina felt Robin’s hand lying on top of her own, squeezing softly, she sighed and said “Light magic. Mal said the only way to break through the wall is by me using light magic instead of dark magic.”

“Do you have light magic?” David questioned, brows raised in confusion. He sounded surprised but it seemed that was more due to his lack of knowledge on magic, not surprise that she could be capable of something other than darkness and death. Two weeks ago that would’ve been his first thought. “She does,” Robin spoke up, throwing a reassuring glance at her. “When you saved me that wasn’t dark magic, was it?”

“It wasn’t. Magic isn’t good or bad, Charming. It depends on how you use it. I-I only used light magic this one time but… it means I should be able to use it now too but…”

“But what Regina?” David asked impatiently. “I’m not sure I know how,” Regina admitted. “You don’t know how?” Charming asked, perplexed. Regina bit her lip to stop herself from throwing something rather rude towards the other man.

She knew David didn’t know anything about magic, but explaining every detail about something she wasn’t sure she knew well enough was complicated and annoying. Not to mention that she wasn’t sure if she actually had enough light inside her.

But she didn’t have to worry about it because Robin came to her rescue. “I think we should speak about this tomorrow. Everybody is tired; we should get some rest.” It seemed like Charming wanted to say something more but one look from her thief silenced him, and he merely mumbled a _goodnight_ and disappeared into his tent.

Robin and Regina went to bed too, Regina taking the blanket and pulling it over her, turning away from Robin. He sat next to her with a frown and sighed. “Love, please talk to me. Whatever it is I’m sure we can figure it out. Just talk to me.”

But Regina stayed silent. She couldn’t- she just couldn’t. Saying it out loud would make it real, and real meant she could get hurt. She always got hurt- why should it be different this time? She had felt happy for a short time, life giving her wonderful people and memories only to take it away from her afterwards. It had been like this when she was an innocent girl and it would be even more like it now.

Too many good things happened lately, and it wouldn’t be much longer till her whole world was shattered again and she was left broken and bruised. So, no- she couldn’t tell Robin that she was pregnant (oh god oh god) or tell him how she thought about them two and Roland and their little baby together like they had been in her dream.

Her dream… it seemed like she had it a life time ago. And that was likely all it would be in the end- a dream. She was pregnant and that itself was a miracle, but she would likely lose it after all. She always had and Robin oh god it would hurt him so much…and Roland…

No she couldn’t tell him because in the end she would lose everything she held dear.

Because Evil Queens don’t deserve happy endings; they don’t deserve loving thieves and little boys with adorable dimples. They don’t possess light magic and they sure as hell don’t deserve a second chance.

And she was after all the Evil Queen.

* * *

 

A/N So since I’ve experienced that the infertile topic has been hurtful to some of you I hope I treated the whole topic and the pregnancy as respectful as possible. If not I’m very sorry and please don’t hesitate to write me what I’ve should’ve done better <3


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people how are you? I hope you are all well and thank you so much for still staying with me and our Queen and Thief! You are truly amazing!  
> So I had my fair share of trouble with this chapter but I hope you gonna enjoy it ;) And be warned there will be a cliffhanger (I’m already sorry yes okay I’m not I enjoy making you freak out ;))  
> A big thank you to Abi (@Ultimate_Authoring) I don’t know what I would do without you!  
> So guys enjoy and please tell me what you think! I love your comments

Robin watched how Regina’s chest softly rose. Her breathing had finally calmed; whatever demons had troubled her were gone now. He knew something had been off- had been since she returned from her walk with the dragon. She was hiding something from him, something that clearly scared her.

He sighed, gently pushing a strand of Regina’s raven curls from her sweaty forehead. The early sun was shining. Robin hadn’t slept well; too worried about the dark haired beauty next to him. And when sleep had finally claimed him it hadn’t taken long for Regina’s whimpers to pull him out of his dreams (not that they were too pleasant either) his hand always finding hers trying to comfort her.

Robin was aware just how much this whole journey affected his love; knew that dealing with everything was already taking its toll and the emotional roller-coaster that this search was, wasn’t really helping.

Not to mention that both of them were tired, _and_ missing a certain little boy desperately. Roland… Robin felt a stabbing pain for a moment. He never been separated from his son for so long and every day he couldn’t see his adorable dimples and toothy grin it was harder to keep going on.

But Robin also knew that this whatever this mission exactly was , it was important to Regina and if there was one thing that Robin was sure of, it was that his son couldn’t be safer than as he was now , cared and loved by his Merry Men.

Still, he couldn’t wait to go home and to get Regina away from all this. He hadn’t pushed on the issue yesterday- she seemed to be upset enough without him putting pressure on her. Robin knew he had to wait till Regina came to him and even if it bloody killed him, he would give her the time she needed.

All the while hoping that whatever it was that was scaring her so much was something they could deal with. That was all what he could do at the moment

So he simply laid there, watching her sleeping, knowing that it only claimed her very few hours ago. She looked pale and exhausted- still beautiful of course but… worn out, and Robin couldn’t stop himself from gently checking the wound the arrow had inflicted such a long time ago. Robin thought with a grin, of the first days Regina had been in his care; thought of her snarky remarks, and her insisting he should shove the bloody hell off. He was glad he listened to his instincts and didn’t let her push him away.

Even though it wasn’t easy (it was actually everything _but_ ) Robin had to admit he never been happier then with Regina and Roland at his side. Sure, he had loved Marian dearly and would forever hold her in his heart, but with Regina… he felt a strong pull towards her- as if something was missing, as if she wasn’t with him.

He thought about her soft lips, her silky hair, and how perfect she fit into his arms.

Bloody hell- did he love this woman! He couldn’t resist pressing a soft kiss on her temple which made her scrunch her face in the most adorable way. Her eyes stayed firmly closed; her slumber too deep to be woken by his tender touch. Well by the tender touch the scream that teared through the camp was something else.

“AGHHHHHHHHH”, Regina eyes popped open looking at Robin who took her hand and within seconds they were out of the tent, Robin holding a knife and Regina a fireball in her hands. Both searching for the source of the scream, tense and ready to fight and protect.

Until they realized what made such a tumult this early in the day. David was standing- well, more jumping up and down- next to Regina’s horse, holding his bleeding hand and grimacing in pain. “Ouch! Damnit damnit. I hate horses! Ouch! Bloody hell.”

That was it. Robin and Regina looked at each other and burst out laughing. David- who hadn’t realized that his little _accident_ had an audience- glared at them as he made as much distance between himself and the horse as possible.

“Charming, are you alright?” Regina asked, not able to hide her smirk. “No I’m not, Regina- can’t you see? Your _damn_ horse bit me. Stop laughing, both of you! This fucking _hurts_.” His words only made them laugh even more, walking slowly towards him. “Oh come on Charming, it’s only a scratch, stop whining and _let me see_ ,” Regina replied, reaching out for his injured hand.

David seemed reluctant to give it to her, till Robin patted him on the shoulder- still smirking. “David, mate, we don’t have time to dry your tears. Let Regina take a look.” Charming threw another angrily glare at Robin, muttering “It was her horse in the first place, I bet it did it on purpose.” “What was that, Charming?” Regina asked, amused, watching how David held his hand like it was about to fall off. “Nothing, your Majesty, just that your horse has the same lovely and tender attitude as its owner.” David snapped at her.

“Do you want me to heal it or not?” Regina questioned, eyes brows raised. “Yes please,” David mumbled, now avoiding her gaze. Regina shook her head, moving her hand over the bleeding wound, a purple glow appeared and within seconds the wound was gone.

David and Regina’s eyes locked momentarily, and both wondered for a moment how they got here. Regina, using her magic to help David, and he not just _letting_ her but _fully trusting_ her to do it. Life really had a strange way of working out sometimes.

Regina balled her hand to a fist, taking a deep breath in. She felt dizzy and her stomach was starting to revolt. This was crazy; she only used a bit of magic, she shouldn’t have that kind of reaction to it. But it was the feeling that she felt _under_ the nausea and dizziness that troubled her.

It was that warm and soft tickle, which almost had a calming effect. Her baby… No, Regina shook her head, trying to push her attention back to David- who was still staring at his hand. She couldn’t think about it- she couldn’t, she…

“Hey love, everything alright?” Robin’s calm voice ripped her out of her thoughts and her eyes found his. He looked concerned, taking her hands in his. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” Regina asked, sharper than she intended to. “Because, milady, you are white as snow and shaking. Do you want to sit down for a moment? You said healing magic always drains you…”

Regina knew Robin was only worried, and that he only wanted to take care of her (that still felt so unfamiliar) but right now she couldn’t deal with it. Letting Robin care would lead to her showing weakness and she wouldn’t lose the last bit of pride she had left.

“I said I’m fine Robin. Stop fussing,” Regina snapped at him which finally made him shut up, the concerned look never leaving his blue eyes. Charming looked, confused, between them. He was used to Regina’s attitude, but as far as he had seen Robin usually wasn’t the receiving end of it. Well, until now.

“Alright milady, if you insist,” Robin turned his attention to David “Are you in condition to make breakfast, David? Or do you need some time to recover from your _gravely_ severe injury?”

“I’m good, I can help. And you should spend less time with Regina. Her sweet loving attitude is rubbing off on you,” David mumbled, already heading towards the fire.

Regina followed David without saying another word to Robin. She knew she had been mean on purpose, but she wasn’t ready to deal with all of this and Robin had a bad habit of being able to look straight through her. Disappearing behind her mask never worked with him. So the best thing to do was to put as much distance as possible between them. Yeah, that was a good idea.

They all prepared the meal in silence, not speaking much more when they were eating; Robin throwing worried glances in Regina’s direction and she deliberately ignoring them. David sat between them trying to figure out what the hell was wrong.

After watching them for another few minutes he decided to let them fight it out, and with a shrug he went back to his tent.

Regina’s eyes followed David, who left her alone with Robin. Alone with him, and his intense gaze. She would have to tell him- but how? She was scared and tired- so tired- and the waves of anxiety were getting stronger and stronger, she needed to tell him she needed to…

Regina was about to get lost in her own panicked thoughts when her body decided breakfast was a bad idea. She pushed herself up running to the next tree- and not a second to soon. Her stomach violently emptied its contents on the forest ground. God- did she feel sick! It hadn’t been that bad the last few days but now… Regina tried to take deep breaths to settle her stomach, but it wasn’t really working. She suddenly felt Robin’s hands on her, holding her hair back with one and rubbing her back with the other.

He whispered soothing words to her, but Regina was too busy vomiting to actually hear what he was saying- but it didn’t matter. His voice was enough to calm her racing heart. It seemingly took forever for Regina’s stomach to stop revolting, and when she was sure she was done she let Robin push her softly onto the tree trunk next to them.

With a sigh she sat down, feeling Robin’s arms around her; rubbing up and down. After another few deep breaths she looked up, dark orbs finding concerned blue ones. He tenderly pushed a strand of hair from her sweaty forehead.

“Regina, please talk to me. What is going on?” Robin pleaded and Regina finally couldn’t hold it in anymore.

After a few moments of silence she choked out “I’m pregnant”

Robin could only stare at her. He had been so worried- had been for days- and now she had been in his arms, throwing up like there was no tomorrow. Her face pale; her dark eyes big and scared. He had expected some terrible news, some illness or some horrible tale- everything except that.

“P-pregnant? But I thought you can’t…the potion…?” Robin looked at her, utterly confused, trying not to let the flame of hope building in his heart take over. Regina wasn’t happy- she looked defeated and terrified- so something must be wrong with her.

“I don’t know how Robin, something undid the potion,” Regina replied, avoiding Robin’s gaze. “Are you sure you are….?” Robin asked, still not believing what he just heard. “I am. Maleficent told me and a dragon’s nose is never wrong. And …I can feel that something is different.”

“Are you… are you alright Regina? Is it… I mean the baby… are you two alright?” Robin questioned, ready to take the bad news which must trouble his love so much. Surely something must be wrong?

“I’m fine and the baby… Mal said it was okay,” Regina’s answer wasn’t more than a whisper. Robin was confused at her words; relived, but confused. He really tried not to smile like an idiot or jump and scream from the top of his lungs, but he had thought the baby or Regina were in danger, but hearing her saying they were fine- both of them He wasn’t sure if he could hold it in. Well, till he saw Regina’s face which still showed so much fear and dread.

“Milady, I don’t understand. You say you and our baby are fine. Why are you so upset about this?

“Because Robin there is a reason why I took this potion all this time ago. This baby…” Regina’s hand found its way to her stomach again “…This baby deserves more than having _me_ as its mother. It deserves better…,” “Regina, love, what are you talking about? You’ll be a wonderful mother- just look at Roland! He loves you; he _adores_ you. Bloody hell- he did from the moment he first laid eyes on you. Why do you doubt yourself?”

Regina fought against the tears gathering in her eyes before answering. “You raised Roland for the first years of his life; he is the boy he is because of you. This baby will have the infortune to be raised by me from birth, _and_ have my rotten genes. If the baby turns out like me… he or she deserves to have their best chance. Like Roland had with you,”

Robin had to swallow at the self-loathing from the woman in front of him. He still sometimes underestimated how strongly Regina hated herself- how she never saw herself worthy of love and care.

“Regina, listen to me very carefully,” Robin told her, tipping her chin up so they were facing each other “Our child will have her or his best chance, and it will be with you. Regina, you have such a big heart- and every child loved by you is a lucky one. Roland would be the first to tell you that, and me raising him doesn’t matter a bloody bit. I love my boy more than everything, but I’m far from a perfect father.”

“Look Regina,” Robin tucked a strand of her hair softly behind her ear “All you can do is love your child as much as you can, and make sure you are there whenever he or she needs you. You did this with Roland, and you will be doing it with this baby, and he or she will love you. You are not your mother, Regina- never forget that. All you do and all this baby will do is based on choices, not genes. And the choices are yours my love, as well the one of our son or daughter.”

“And if our child turns out just a bit like you, I couldn’t be a prouder father,” Robin added, smiling softly and wiping away a tear which was falling down Regina’s cheek “Are you serious?” Regina asked, quietly. “I am. Well, it would be nice if our child would be a bit less stubborn than its mother, since handling _one_ stubborn-as-a-mule Mills is already a full time job, but otherwise…” Robin joked, earning a little smirk for his troubles. But he could see he hadn’t eased all of her worries, so he once again searched for her eyes and asked “What else is troubling you, love?”

Regina sighed, biting her lip to hold back her tears. Robin’s words soothed her bruised heart and calmed her fears a bit, but there was still so much that could go wrong.

“Robin, I told you I already had two miscarriages… I-I… what if….”Regina whispered, another tear falling down her cheek. Robin squeezed her hand gently- eyes still locked- as he said “Well, milady, this is the moment where I tell you to have a bit of hope. I can’t promise you that everything is gonna be alright, neither of us are naïve enough to believe that. But I’m asking you to try to have some faith.”

“Faith in what?” Regina questioned, moving closer to Robin. “Faith that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to be. You are pregnant, my love, even though this should be impossible. But you still are. You never went into the tavern, but you still found me and Roland. Maybe this all shows that it’s time to just have a bit of hope. “

“Having hope never served me well Robin, I don’t think I can,” Regina replied sadly.

“That’s alright love, I’ll have enough for both of us till you’re ready, “Robin told her, pulling her closer to him. “You are a fool, Robin of Locksley,” Regina muttered, but a little smile appeared on her face.

“That might be, milady, but I’m still right. Having hope from time to time helps.” “Now you just sound like Snow,” Regina mumbled. Robin only chuckled.

They stayed like this for a few moments- in each other’s embrace- which made Regina calm down. She wasn’t without worry, far from it actually, but she did feel better. She wouldn’t go as far as saying _hopeful,_ but less afraid- less anxious. She slowly realized that she was feeling something else, something resembling… joy.

She leaned closer to Robin as she whispered with a small smile “We’re gonna have a baby, Robin.”

He beamed at her, his eyes lighting up at her words. “May I?” He asked, Regina followed his gaze to her belly and with deep exhale she nodded. Robin placed his hand softly on her stomach, grinning from one ear to the other. “I’m gonna be a Papa again,” he whispered with astonishment, and a smile finally appeared on Regina’s face too.

She still wasn’t fully convinced that everything was going to be alright, but the sudden joy and love that was flowing through her veins- watching Robin being so happy- she finally let herself feel a bit of hope too. Not much, but more than she had in the last decade.

As Robin looked up, seeing Regina’s watery smile, he couldn’t resist anymore. He scooped her up- careful to stop himself at any sign of discomfort from her, but she seemed to have settled somewhat) and threw her around while shouting “I’m gonna be a Papa! I’m gonna be a Papa!”

“Robin , put me down,” Regina cried, letting his joy pull her in. Maybe he was right, maybe everything would work out? Maybe it was time to risk it and take a leap of faith. He was so happy it almost made the tears which had abated return.

She had been so afraid, and he had taken away some of her fears like always. Had even told her he would be proud if the child turned out like her (which had been one of her biggest fears) and that she was nothing like her mother (which came in the same category).

“Nope, milady,” Robin shouted, whirling her around one more time before he sat her down and kissed her passionately. He moved back on his knees so his eyes were in line with her belly and started talking. “Hey there, this is your Papa. I already love you _so much_ and I can’t wait to meet you. Neither can your Mama and your big brother.”

Regina couldn’t stop the tear falling down her cheek, wiped away again by Robin as he got up and kissed her gently and smiled at her.

They were gonna be parents.

* * *

 

**One week later**

 

Regina almost groaned. Since Robin (and by now David too) knew about her pregnancy their concern for her was sweet but _deeply_ annoying. Neither of them allowed her to lift anything, and if she caught one of them staring at her again she would throw something at them. A fireball, or something hard preferably.

She knew they only meant well, but their constant hovering was getting too much. She needed some space for herself. All of this- Snow, the baby, Robin , David, their journey- it all was coming together and Regina was tired, so tired. Happy too, of course, but the rapid change of emotions she was feeling was driving her crazy.

One moment she was so excited for everything, and the next scared to death. Today happy, tomorrow sad. Sometimes Robin and David’s caring made her eyes light up and sometimes is made her roll them so hard it almost hurt.

She was a mess (a beautiful and wonderful mess, as Robin liked to say) and this emotional roller-coaster wasn’t really helping them find Snow, nor get the hang of light magic.

Regina couldn’t really define her magic anymore. It changed color as it pleased, and just yesterday she tried to saddle her horse with magic (Robin insisted that she didn’t lift it by herself ) and as she waved her hand…. the whole damn horse’s fur changed from its original color to all the colors of the freaking rainbow.

Of course Charming used this exact moment to take a look if she needed help… to say that he burst into laughter might’ve been an understatement. He laughed so hard that tears fell down his cheeks, only silenced by the best Evil-Queen-glare she could muster. (She ignored the chuckling Robin and David had afterwards for the entire day…) Not to mention Robin who earned his first queenly punch in a few weeks.

* * *

 

_Yesterday:_

_They were lying in bed after another exhausting day (and her little horse-rainbow adventure) Robin soothingly stroked her thigh while holding her close. He softly pressed a kiss to her temple, and another one at her pulse point which earned him a moan. Robin’s touches were only meant to be tender and sweet, something they often did before going to sleep (it kept the nightmares at bay… at least sometimes) but Robin felt her squirming next to him, almost arching into his soft touches_

_He chuckled as Regina took his hand from her thigh and put it between her legs “If you want to stroke something, thief, then do it somewhere where it’s needed.” Robin’s hand wandered and with a raised brow he looked at Regina. She wasn’t just wet- she was soaking, and he had barely touched her._ And _those touches were meant to soothe, not to arouse._

_But she was sensitive lately, his Regina. The slightest touches could coax her arousal. “Are we eager today, milady?” Robin asked playfully pulling her panties down with one smooth move (Teasing her in this state was dangerous, Robin had learnt her hormones made her even more demanding and impatient than she usually was when they made love)_

_Robin pushed a finger into her, feeling how slick and hot she was. He hadn’t even started moving it when he heard her first breathless moans. Yes, the pregnancy indeed had made his love rather sensitive, so sensitive that Regina cried out loudly (muffed by his mouth on hers) as he started to pump in and out of her, fast._

_“Harder Robin, please,” Regina told him, moving her hips with his fingers. He obeyed, pushing a second finger in and speeding up the pace. She was now panting, her cheeks flushed, her dark eyes full of desire. Regina was already pretty riled up, it wouldn’t take long, and with that Robin pressed his thumb onto her clit and just a few seconds of the added pressure was enough to make her spill over the edge._

_Robin pressed his lips onto hers as soon as she had calmed down, feeling how her hands found their way to his cock. He moaned at the touch, loving her hands around him, stroking. But then Robin saw Regina’s eyes, saw how she struggled to keep them open. So he gently took her hand weaved their fingers together and silenced Regina’s “Robin, it’s your turn,” with a tender kiss._

_“You barely can keep your eyes open, love. It’s alright, this was for you. You close your beautiful eyes and dream about rainbows and unicorns,” Robin told_ her _with a smirk. She smiled at him sweetly at his words, clearly touched by his care… till the part with the rainbows came._

_Her dark eyes widened and she punched him, hard. “Ouch, milady! Are our violent tendencies back again?” Robin chuckled, pulling her again close to him._

_“Be glad I only smacked you, and that I’m too tired for turning you into a garden gnome,” Regina muttered, back to already half asleep. “Well then I’m glad you are, I really don’t fancy a life as a little man made from stone,” Robin replied, pulling the covers over them. The only answer he got was Regina’s soft snoring. (Not that she would believe him in the morning- a Queen doesn’t snore after all)_

* * *

 

Regina’s horse shied, a bit startled by a noise likely made by some animal here in the forest. But it wasn’t big deal for somebody like Regina, who grew up with horses. She whispered softly to the animal and it calmed down within seconds. They were both alright and calm. As opposed to the two other people next to her.

“Milady, are you alright? We should stop and make camp here,” Robin’s alarmed voice came from her left, and Charming’s “Regina are you okay? This is why I don’t like horses too much,” to her right.

Both men stopped, already getting down from their horses, looking concerned at her. “Regina love?” Robin asked again. With one smooth move Regina got down, glaring at both of them.

“Yes Robin and yes David, I’m fine. The horse only got spooked for a moment, I’m good- stop fussing all the time. I’m pregnant, not sick and I’m not made of glass so stop being so overprotective, or I swear to god you two are gonna end up as trees. Then at least you will shut up for five minutes,” Regina snapped at them.

“A rainbow colored tree?” Robin asked innocently, earning another glare from her. “Yeah, then we would be something special and….” Whatever else David thought they would be was interrupted as all three horses changed from being slightly nervous to completely freaking out. Before either of the men could react David’s horse pranced and neither of them had time to jump away.

Before the hoof could knock them out Regina’s hands went up on instinct, and a protection wall came up between the animal and the men.

All three stared at each other, Robin and David surrounded by a field of white magic and Regina hands still in the air. Before either of them could make another move all three horses galloped away as fast as their feet could carry them.

With the lowering of her hands the wall disappeared, and Robin immediately ran towards her, pulling her into a hug. “Regina are-” “-I’m fine Robin,” but this time she didn’t snap at him, only looked at her hands, feeling how the light magic ran through her veins.

“Y-you just saved us …with …that was light magic, right Regina?” David asked. Regina didn’t answer- to overwhelmed with all that she was feeling right now

She had acted on instinct, protecting Robin and David from the horse was all she had been thinking about and when the magic went loose… it was warm and soft. And the tickling in her stomach… whatever just happened, the baby clearly approved of it.

“Regina?” David asked again, gently touching her shoulder. A touch so soft it was nothing near the harsh way he had grabbed her a few weeks ago.

“I-I think so,” Regina whispered, her hand finding her belly. Robin noticing the movement tipped her chin up, alarmed. “Love, are you certain you and the baby are alright?”

Regina snapped out of it, taking a deep breath. Using light magic- it was still so… foreign and unfamiliar, but she couldn’t deny that she liked it. She leant into Robin’s embrace and nodded “I’m fine Robin, I swear. We both are.”

That seemed to settle the thief and shepherd a bit, although not much. “Can we try the spell again? Or do you need to rest first? We don’t need to rush…” David started but Regina shut him up with one glance. “Yes Charming, we are in a rush, and I don’t need a break.”

She and Robin exchanged one last look before Regina nodded, stretching out her hand to David to get the ring. He handed it to her; wordless but with hope shimmering in his eyes. Maybe today was day? After weeks of hitting dead end after dead end, maybe today they would find his Snow.

Regina swallowed hard and forced herself to think of all the happy memories she had with her step-daughter. Trying to ignore the raging anger and the bitterness; trying to leave space only for the love she felt for the green eyed girl.

Love was the key, Regina knew that, but even after everything she experienced in the last weeks…. pushing the anger and hatred she had felt for years wasn’t an easy task. But she had to. She had to go home; home with Robin and Roland and this little baby growing inside her (if the baby would make it, but that was something she couldn’t think about not now).

And she also had to for Snow; whatever they were to each other, whatever she was feeling for her, she had to give it a chance.

Her light magic always showed itself when there was a need to protect someone. Just like when Robin was dying. Now, where she had to protect the man she lost her heart to, and the other who somehow became something like a friend. So this was what she had to do with Snow too.

Protect

So Regina took a deep breath and waved her hand again over the ring. Like always it started to glow, but this time it stayed this way. This time, Regina could feel the pull of magic. She could feel Snow.

“Regina?”

“I know where she is,” Regina replied. “Y-you found her?” Charming asked, not daring to hope yet. But at Regina’s nod he continued. “What are we gonna do now?”

“My magic knows how to find her. Now I can simply transport us to wherever she is,” Regina answered, already talking Robin’s and David’s hand into hers. “Love, are you sure we are ready?” Robin questioned, but as Regina’s dark orbs found his blue ones he knew the answer. They were preparing for every kind of attack for weeks now; ready to fight everyone, and waiting wouldn’t help them.

So Robin nodded, and with a blink of her eye they all disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

Then reappeared only seconds later at a place Regina wasn’t familiar with. She tried to turn around to ask Robin or David if they knew where they were, but before she could reach out to any of them she felt something warm and fuzzy touch her face.

She immediately felt dizzy, and tired- so tired. Something was wrong. Her magic drained her; it always has, but this feeling was different. She felt her eyes drooping and no matter how hard she fought, she felt herself losing consciousness. She had held Robin’s hand only seconds before- knew that they landed at the right place. But now he was gone.

Before she lost herself to the darkness fully she felt somebody catch her. Somebody far too small to be Robin or David, and that was when Regina started to panic. Something was wrong. Robin, Charming… where were they? Where they alright? Did her magic fail?

She could feel that she was picked up if by somebody- or magic she couldn’t tell. Regina tried to fight as hard as she her body would let her, but the darkness was dragging her down by whatever magic was thrown her way…. she wasn’t strong enough to fight it.

Her eyes closed and she could feel magic (not her magic harsh and cold magic) transporting her, transporting her away from Robin and David.

Then everything went black


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys how are you? I know it’s been some time but I had a hugeeeeee exam and it was kinda crazy ;) Happy you’re still with me and our Queen and thief.  
> I took some liberties with canon on this one and this chapter will reveal a lot about why and how Regina was attacked with that nice arrow ;) Hope you gonna enjoy it and please review!  
> A special thanks to Abi who kindly took a look at all of this and Tarisa who keeps me from drowning in my author crises ;)  
> If you wanna talk I can be found on Twitter (OnceUponAHappy) or Tumblr (onceuponahappytime)

“Regina wake up. Come on, you need to wake up,” Regina’s eyes were heavy as she tried to open them. She knew the voice that was calling for her; had heard it in her dreams over and over again. She felt a hand shaking her and finally, she blinked her eyes open, only to find herself looking straight into green ones. Green ones that belonged to a certain princess, who now was sitting next to her with a worried look.

“S-Snow?” Regina asked, confused. Her head hurt and she was still dizzy. She tried to sit up slowly, pulling herself up and ignoring Snow’s helping hand. She might’ve agreed to save her step-daughter, but that was it. No one said she had to be nice or civilized.

“What happened? Where are we?” Regina questioned sharply, but Snow stayed silent. Regina looked around, trying to take in her surroundings. They were in some kind of cave, illuminated by candles. It was cold and moist and Regina couldn’t stop herself from shivering.

“I don’t know,” Snow answered, and Regina took a closer look at her step-daughter and felt an involuntary pang of worry in her heart. Snow had lost weight; her face seemed almost hollow and her dark hair was in desperate need of a brush.

But the hope was still in those green eyes that undying optimisms Regina could never understand how after all Snow still could hold on to that. How she could still believe that everything will work out no matter how hopeless the situation was.

It made her livid. It raised the desire to wipe that stupid look of her face to replace it with sorrow. She liked it feeling the anger that was something that she was familiar with something she could handle. The worry on the other hand…that was something she tried to push as far away as she could.

“Are you alright Regina?” The underlying concern and uncertainty in her voice almost made Regina snort in disbelieve. After all she had done to her- that wretched girl still had to worry for her well-being. It made her feel too many things at once, and she couldn’t deal with that. Not now. She needed to get out of here; she needed to find Robin and get back to her son.

Robin! Oh god- where was he? Was he alright? Regina tried to remember what happened, but she couldn’t; everything was blank. Her hand found its way to her stomach where their baby lay. What if… what if whoever had taken her killed Robin? What if she lost love again? Again- because of Snow White? Or was this all _her_ fault?

She couldn’t breathe- couldn’t stop her hands from shaking. Her happiness had been so _close_ and it slipped away from her again. Regina knew she was close to a panic attack- had been on the edge of one for weeks. Now, not knowing what happened? _And_ having _Snow_ here- the girl she didn’t know if she hated or loved- It was just too much!

“Regina you need to breathe,” Snow said, gently rubbing up and down Regina’s arms. Regina didn’t even realize that Snow had closed the distance between them, and her first impulse was to shake her off. But somehow the soft touch was soothing; it was calming her down just like Robin’s always did. Robin… she needed to find him, and while she was at it the shepherd too. Even if she hated to admit it she _had_ grown fond of the idiot.

“I’m fine,” Regina snapped, finally ripping her arm away from Snow and ignoring the hurt look in the princess’ eyes. “How did you get here?” Regina asked, trying again to get information.

Snow looked at her for a moment before sighing “I don’t really know. One moment I was lying next to David and the next I was here. How did _you_ get here?”

Regina hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say. She wasn’t sure if she could bring herself to tell the girl in front of her the truth. She wasn’t sure if she even knew it herself.

Regina took a deep breath and answered “We were looking for you when I got taken by whoever is _stupid_ enough to do this.”

“Y-you w-were looking for me?” Snow’s eyes widened in surprise, and a bright smile appeared on her pale face. A smile which made Regina’s stomach turn. The quiet _yes_ left a bitter taste in her mouth. Snow frowned as she caught up. “Who is ‘ _we’_?”

Regina stayed silent, trying to avoid Snow’s intense gaze. “Regina?” The Queen finally looked up, trying to keep her expression as neutral as possible “Your annoying prince Charming and Robin.”

“David? Is he alright?” Snow asked excitedly, even if she felt more and more confused by the minute. This woman in front of her… she wasn’t the same one Snow had seen on their last encounter. She wasn’t like the girl she met all those years ago but she seemed different; happier. Less tormented. Less in pain.

“He was his self-righteous stupid-beyond-imagination self when I last saw him.” Regina snarled. Snow sighed in relief; she had feared the worst. Then it suddenly hit her “Who is Robin?”

“None of your business,” Regina replied, purposely looking in a different direction. Snow- on the other hand- couldn’t move her gaze away, noticing the smitten look in her step-mothers dark eyes. She had hoped so much that after all Regina might find happiness despite all that had happened between them.

“I’m happy for you,” Snow said softly. Regina hated how well Snow knew her; how fast she figured it out. “Why?” Regina asked finally, turning towards the dark-haired girl.

“Why what?” Snow asked, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Why are you happy for me? Why don’t you hate me? Why don’t you want me to suffer?” Regina didn’t get it. The knowledge that Snow was happy ripped her apart and made her blood boil, but Snow White- good and kind Snow- simply sat there, smiling at her brightly.

The princess thought about if for a moment. Sometimes she wasn’t sure _herself_ why she felt the way she felt. Not sure what she should say, she finally decided that the truth was the best… right?

“Because I love you. Always have and always will,” Snow said, green orbs finding dark ones.

“Then you are even more foolish then I thought,” Regina snarled, eyes cold. But Snow had seen it; had seen the tears gathering. Had seen the flicker of hope in her step mothers face.

“I guess that means you and I are in agreement for once, Your Majesty,” Regina and Snow spun around to find the source of the voice, and when Regina saw who was standing there her blood froze.

“You,” Regina hissed, looking at the cold cruel eyes of the man who shot an arrow through her; remembered his laughing, his harsh words.

“Yes _me_ , Your Majesty. Nice to see you again. Even though I hoped the next time we saw each other would be your funeral. Sadly, you can’t have everything in life, can you?”

“Who are you? How do I know you?” Regina asked, trying to piece together why the face looked so familiar.

 

 

“Oh darling we met years ago,” the man mumbled. He came closer and softly tucked a strand of Regina’s hair behind her ear. The gesture made her shiver as she waved her hand by instinct to burn him to ash but nothing happened. Her magic wouldn’t come.

“Oh don’t even try, honey, your magic won’t work down her,” he said with a cold smile, kneeling next to Regina- who couldn’t stop herself from moving in front of her step daughter and facing their captor.

“And I wouldn’t try to hurt me, Your Majesty. We both know how that worked out the last time…” he raised his hand and before Regina could react he smacked her across her face.

“Don’t try that again,” he hissed, pulling out his knife when he noticed Snow ready to attack him “The same applies to you, princess.” Both women knew that for the moment the dirty man with the cold and crazy eyes had the upper hand, so after a shared look they both nodded slowly.

“Good girls,” he muttered stroking Regina’s bruised cheek. “Oh where are my manners? I am yet to introduce myself! I’m Percival; nice to finally have you here, Your Majesty.”

Regina’s cheek burnt as she tried to remember where she had seen him before (well, before the day he had put an arrow through her) but she couldn’t. “I doubt you remember where we first met, Regina, but that’s not a big surprise. You burnt so many villages; killed so many people; and destroyed so many families, it would be a miracle if you recognized the 16 year old boy who’s _family_ you slaughtered.”

“Oh but do you know what made me hate you the most?” Percival whispered into Regina’s ear, making her shiver. “The moment when I was sitting between the bodies of my most of my dead family, hiding. The moment when you saw me. I was so terrified of what you would do to me. But you looked at me- looking like some fucking angel of death- and do you know what you did then?”

Regina stayed silent till he roughly grabbed her chin and pulled her close to him “Do you?”

Regina had to swallow as she shook her head “You smiled. You killed my entire family, and you just stood there and smiled at me. You are a monster and today, you will pay for it.”

Regina couldn’t break eye contact with the young hateful man in front of her. She had to take a deep breath as she was once again reminded of what she _truly_ was. Not matter how often Robin told her she was wrong, nothing she could do would change the fact that she was, indeed, a monster. And today she would pay for her sins.

“Then kill me,” Regina hissed, knowing that even the knowledge of her pregnancy wouldn’t stop this man. She knew insanity when she saw it; had lived too many days on the brink of it. “Kill me, but let Snow go. I’m the Evil Queen! I’m the one who is the monster, not her.”

Regina wasn’t exactly sure what she felt for Snow, but she knew she had to protect her; she just knew. She hoped that her death would keep Robin and Roland safe. And she even more hoped that one day Robin would be able to forgive her- forgive her for surrendering. But she needed to protect her family, she couldn’t let anybody else get hurt because of her.

Because Percival was right; all of them were right. She was a monster- an angel of death- and she deserved whatever was coming for her. Still, there was something she had to take care of first.

“But before you do anything to me… who is behind all this?” Regina asked, trying to look unimpressed by it all. _Never show your fear_. “What are you talking about _witch_? I did all of this myself!” Percival snarled.

“Regina, what do you mean?” Snow questioned, fear in her green eyes. Fear of losing _her,_ Regina realized with a surprised frown. “No, you didn’t. The arrow that hit me… the poison is hard to come by. This cave is protected by magic… there must be somebody far more powerful and smarter than _you_ on your side,” Regina replied calmly.

“You are indeed a clever woman, Your Majesty,” another voice came from the other side of the cave; a voice Regina hadn’t heard in years. A voice that made her shiver.

She finally knew who was behind all of this.

 

 

Robin blinked two- three times. His head felt like it was about to explode. What the bloody hell happened? He felt for Regina next to him- eyes still closed- but all he could find was the rough material of David’s clothes. This finally made his eyes snap open. “Regina!!! Milady? Where are you?”

Robin sat up, looking around in panic, but she was gone. It was just him and David, all alone. “David, damnit wake up,” Robin shook the shepherd roughly till his eyes finally popped open. “What’s going on?” David asked, confused. He noticed Robin’s distraught expression and fear crept over him, knowing that only two things could make Robin this upset… Regina or Roland.

“Where’s Regina?” David questioned, trying to stand up. “I don’t bloody know Charming. Why else would I scream my lungs out for her?” Robin hissed angrily, already walking away. He needed to find Regina; he swore to protect her he swore he would never let anybody hurt her again and he had _failed_. She could be anywhere.

“I never should’ve have talked her into searching for the princess,” Robin shouted, punching a tree as hard as he could. This was entirely his fault. Whoever had Snow now had Regina too, and if they hurt her… he would never forgive himself. He knew his love was likely the strongest person there was and was more then capable taking care of herself, but he also knew that she didn’t value her own life.

He knew about her way of daring people to kill her, and it drove him crazy. Images of her dead broken body, lifeless dark eyes their baby gone flashed before his eyes. He couldn’t… he couldn’t lose her. She was his other half, his partner, his _soulmate_.

“Robin look you need to calm down you…” before David could finish his sentence Robin grabbed him by the collar and yelled “I don’t need to _calm_ _down_ shepherd! The woman I love and my unborn child are in the hands of some _nutjob,_ and this is _all my fault_. We should’ve never gone with you! We should’ve stayed in the camp where she would’ve been _safe_.”

“Robin, I know exactly how you feel, but we need a clear head to find them. And don’t forget- it’s Regina we’re talking about here! She is strong and smart- she’ll find a way.”

Robin let go of David slowly; realized that yes indeed the shepherd was searching for the woman he loved too. But his princess didn’t have the habit of throwing herself out there without thinking that her actions could lead to death. Or even worse- thinking nobody would care if she actually died.

“I promised I would never let anybody hurt her again David,” Robin said, his voice breaking. “We don’t know what happened Robin, we don’t know if she’s even hurt. But we’re gonna get them back- both of them. I know it.”

“How?” Robin asked desperately. He was good in a fight good and at tracking, but they were against magic here and magic… well, that was Regina’s domain, not his.

“I might be able to help with that,” Robin spun around as he heard a voice he hadn’t heard in years.

 

 

Regina slightly turned her head to look at petite woman dressed completely in blue. “What an unpleasant surprise. Hello, Blue,” Regina said, studying the fairy in front of her curiously.

She always knew the fairy hated her for some reason, but she couldn’t figure out what all this was about. No matter what the blue moth’s problem with her was… fairies stood for light magic. and the poison used to hurt her had been dark magic. Not to mention Snow- perfect and pure Snow- had been kidnapped too.

This all made no sense.

“Oh on the contrary, Your Majesty, I’ve been very eager to see you again,” Blue replied, all warmth gone from her eyes (if there ever truly was any warmth).

“Blue, what is going on?” Snow asked, confused. Regina chuckled at Snow’s naïve tone, her large eyes looking from the fairy to Regina and back, seemingly not able to comprehend what was going on.

“What’s going on dear is that your wonderful fairy here tried to kill me, and this is likely an attempt to cover up her own incompetence,” Regina snarled, shooting her best Evil Queen glare at the fairy.

“N-no, that can’t be true Regina. Blue would never hurt you, she is good, she is…” Snow tried to make sense of this mess as Regina interrupted her “Oh Snow, shut up. I raised you better than this. You know the world isn’t black and white. You know people aren’t always what they seem. Stop being a naïve princess and for _once_ actually try to use your brain,” Regina’s words silenced Snow.

“Ah, no need to be so touchy Your Majesty,” Blue said, smiling brightly. The smile made Regina cringe. She always knew not to trust this fairy, but now she began to realize that the woman actually was dangerous.

“What do you want, fairy?” Regina questioned, instinctively putting her hand on her belly. On the outside she was completely composed, but on the inside-she was terrified. Months ago she wouldn’t have cared what the fairy did to her, but now… she had a family- something to live for. Regina didn’t want to die

“Your death would do quite nicely,” Blue replied, moving closer. “Don’t you _dare_ touch her,” Snow hissed, coming to terms with the fact the good and pure fairy wanted to kill the Evil Queen surprisingly fast.

“Oh Snow, your love for her was always foolish. She is dark and rotten to the core, my dear girl. You see; I’ll do you a favor by killing her.”

“Hey, you promised me my share to,” Percival- who had been silent till now- shouted, and with one smooth move he had Regina in his hold, pulling her up with him. Regina struggled against it but without her magic she was more or less helpless, she could feel him getting hard behind her. _God please don’t, not that, not in front of Snow_ , was all what she could think as Percival pressed himself closer to her.

“You’ll get your share Percival, but I first need to have a little chat with the Queen. I’ll make sure you have time to have your _fun_ with her,” Blue told him, and with a wave of her wand he disappeared and Regina dropped back on the floor.

“Regina, are you alright?” Snow asked, worried, helping her stepmother up. Regina didn’t like to take help from the dark-haired girl, but she sure as hell wouldn’t sit on the floor and let Blue hover over her. She wouldn’t give her that kind of power of her.

“Why do you want me dead so badly, fairy? I never hurt you.” Regina asked, curiously. Some could say Blue did it for the greater good but Regina was well aware that Blue was a very selfish person. Sadly, nobody but her actually noticed that.

“Because you are a monster, Your Majesty,” Blue hissed.

“That’s true, fairy. But I’ve been a monster for years. Why now?”

The fairy stayed silent for few moments, clearly trying to figure out if she should share her reasons. “Because of the prophecy.”

“What prophecy? What the hell are you talking about?” Regina questioned, closing the distance between her and the fairy. Snow merely watched the entire conversation in silence.

Blue leaned against the nearest wall, sighing as she started to tell the story; the story which had made her decision to get rid of the Queen an easy one.

“The prophecy was made long ago, but only recently came back to light. And what it says… well it changes everything.” “What does it say? Damnit Blue, speak,” Regina almost yelled. She needed to know what this was all about!

Blue threw a thoughtful glance at the dark haired Queen. She hated the woman; always had. “Careful, Your Majesty. I hasten to remind you which of us has magic and which of us doesn’t,” with those words Blue waved her wand and Regina screamed suddenly as a burning pain shot through her body.

“Regina! Stop it, Blue, please,” Snow shouted, running towards her stepmother. With a grin Blue stopped the magic, letting the pain disappear.

Regina pressed her arm around her middle as she tried to catch her breath. The pain had been horrible, but she had had worse. But it had taken her by surprise and fear for her child made it almost unbearable. She wanted to get out of there, she wanted Robin, she wanted her son, she wanted to feel safe and loved again.

“Don’t get cheeky with me, Your Majesty,” Blue mumbled. _Don’t get cheeky with your mother, you have to learn how to be a good girl_ , her mother’s voice came as well as a memory, a kind of punishment usually followed those words. The kind that made her scream in pain too- only worse.

Regina stood up, still shaking but head held high. No one was gonna break her- and sure as hell not that stupid fairy.

“Is that all you’ve got, moth? I’ve used to far worse.” Regina snarled, moving closer to the petite woman. “What. Is. The. Prophecy. About?” Regina asked slowly, her voice a dangerous growl.

Blue chuckled, but decided to tell the Queen after all. She could have fun with her later.

“Well… well if you really want to know.” Blue muttered, and with another wave of her wand Regina and Snow were tied up. Blue knew Regina didn’t have her magic, but she also knew the woman was a fighter and she wouldn’t’ take that risk.

“The prophecy states the birth of a girl; a girl with the most resilient heart. A girl who will withhold the strongest light magic ever to exist- more powerful than anything before,” Blue almost spat out the last part. “Born out of darkness and light she will be able to do things beyond our imagination.”

Regina could only stare at the fairy as she asked “And why should I be that girl? My magic is dark.”

Blue chuckled “We both know that’s not true darling. I know about saving your _thief_. And to be sure I put a protection spell around this cave that can only be broken by light magic. Powerful light magic. And you are here, aren’t you?

Regina reminded silent. This couldn’t be true she didn’t… that wasn’t possible. She was dark and worthless, not somebody you would call the strongest possessor of light magic.

 

 

Robin looked, surprised, at the golden eyes of the wizard- or better said, the Dark One’s in front of him. It had been some time since he had seen the imp, and the last time it hadn’t been pleasant. Memories of whips and burning pain and saved by his maid, a brave woman Robin would forever be grateful to. He knew Rumplestiltskin meant nothing good.

“What do you want, Dark One?” Robin asked, his bow ready to defend himself and David if necessary. “Oh no need to be so testy, I’m here to help you dearie.

“What. Do. You. Want?” Robin questioned again. He knew better then to trust this creature. Rumple chuckled, amused, dancing around the archer.

“What I told you. I’m here to help you to get your Queen back,” Rumple replied, grinning. “Why would you do that? Regina told me what you did to her. You have no reason to help her. And don’t come with ‘it’s the right thing to do’. We both know you care only about yourself.”

“That, dearie, might be true; but luckily for you our goals for once are the same. I need Regina alive and I need her safe and happy with you,” Rumple told them, and for just a second Robin saw something like actual concern for Regina in those cold eyes. But it was gone as fast as it appeared.

“Why?” Robin asked simply. “You never cared before. Why now?” Rumple studied the thief in front of him for a moment. He was- of course- right but things had changed. A prophecy had changed everything.

“Because times change, Robin of Locksley. I want something and Regina is my key to getting it. She always was, but let’s just say I have no need for the Evil Queen anymore. And thanks to you and your boy she is on the best way to leave her behind. After all, her capability to love never disappeared; no matter how strong the shimmering rage was.” Rumple seemed to be caught up in his thoughts for a moment.

“She is, after all, the proud owner of the most resilient heart,” he added thoughtfully. “If you trust the prophecy of course.”

“What prophecy? What is this all about? And what has this all to do with Snow?” David finally spoke up, after watching the conversation between Rumplestiltskin and Robin silently.

“Well listen carefully both of you, if you want your woman back. The prophecy states of a girl…”

 

 

“Alright, I might have used light magic before but that still doesn’t mean it’s me,” Regina tried to reason. Blue shook her head as she replied “It’s you, Your Majesty. I wish it wasn’t, but I can feel it; I can feel your magic. How it grows stronger and stronger every day.”

“So, just so I understand this right Blue; you want to kill Regina because she has powerful light magic and can be good. But you didn’t kill her when she used dark magic to slaughter villages?” Snow asked in disbelief.

“Well, I don’t say it often but Snow’s right. Why now? I’m still far from good- but I’ve been far worse. Why stop pretending you are some good spirit whose only fault is a terrible taste in clothing?” Regina questioned, struggling against the restraints.

“Because with only your dark magic, you were stoppable. If- god forbid- you ever reach the height of your light magic… you won’t be. And I need to put a stop to that before it can happen,” Blue snarled. “But Blue, listen to what you are saying. You want to kill Regina because she will be good? What kind of logic is that?” Snow looked at her old friend, confused.

“Oh don’t you get it Snow? She will never be good, she will have that powerful magic and she will use it to destroy us! She is incapable of love; her heart is dark as coal. Just like her mother’s. Your love for her always blinded you princess. She was rotten to the core the day she was born. What else can you expect from Cora’s daughter,” Blue’s eyes were so full of hatred as she spit out Cora’s name.

“So, I never actually had a chance with you did I? You just assumed I’m like my mother,” Regina whispered. “Because you are. There is a reason why they call you the Evil Queen, Your Majesty,” Blue hissed.

Regina stayed silent for a moment and then she exploded “But I wasn’t always like her! I was innocent when I sat at my window night after night begging you fairies to help me! To make my mother stop hurting me, to bring Daniel back to me, to make Leopold stop. You never came- you never helped me.” Regina didn’t even realize what she had said still she saw Snow’s upset frown, but she couldn’t care about it. Not now.

“You never were innocent, Regina,” Blue replied coldly. “Yes I was. I was innocent at 5 years old when I begged for help after my mother broke my arm. I was innocent at 18 as I watched her kill my fiancée; I was innocent as Leopold married me against my will.”

“I WAS INNOCENT YOU DAMN FAIRY,” Regina yelled, tears now running down her face. The fairy seemed unaffected by her outburst; almost bored.

Regina took a deep breath trying to take everything in. “So you send Percival with the poisoned arrow after me? You weren’t even brave enough to do it yourself.”

“He wasn’t supposed to do it that soon, but sadly he is as stupid as he looks. Blindly driven by revenge. After the failed attempt I asked his brother to take your thief so I could get to you, but he failed too,” Blue told them with a disappointed shake of her head.

“The bandit… the bandit who tried to kill Robin… he was Percvial’s brother?” Regina asked, a cold shiver going down her back. He had been so close- he would have killed Robin if she hadn’t used her… light magic. That was the moment when it hit Regina, and she couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

“What’s so funny Your Majesty?” Blue asked angrily. “You want to know what’s funny, fairy? That all you attempts to destroy me only led to me using light magic; that’s what’s so hilarious.”

“I was so caught up in my revenge I would’ve never thought of using light magic. Hell- I never thought I was even capable of it. I was so full of hatred I was a monster.”

“You still are!” Blue shouted

“Yes, I still am. Likely always gonna be, but through your murder attempt I met Robin and fell in love with him. Just because of you I could be Roland’s mother, the Merry Men’s friend. For heaven’s sake- just because of you kidnapping Snow, Charming and I became… well he annoys me less than he did before. Because of you and your attempts to destroy me I have the chance of love in my life again.

Because of you I have the chance to be a better person I have the chance to redeem myself.”

Regina had decided to keep her baby a secret, not wanting to know what Blue would do with her child. Not after hearing that Blue judged her simply by who her mother was. How would she be to her baby, with her as a mother and Cora as a grandmother?

“Shut up,” Blue shouted, showing Regina that she indeed had hit a nerve.

“You suck more in the whole _I’m gonna destroy you_ thing than I do, and the fact that I’m risking my life to save the person I’m hunting says that you are truly bad at it,” Regina laughed, her dark eyes sparkling.

Oh god did she enjoy to wipe that smug grin from the fairy’s face. She could see how the whole façade broke; could finally see the fairy’s true self.

“You’re gonna pay for what you did, Your Majesty,” Blue hissed hatefully as she pointed her wand at Regina, but before the burning pain could come back there was a sound- some kind of a hum- followed by Blue crying out in pain.

An arrow had hit Blue; _Robin’s_ arrow to be specific. Regina’s head spun around and dark eyes found blue ones. He had found her- she had no idea how but there he was standing in front of her with not one scratch on him.

He had promised to protect her- to fight side by side with her- and for the first time in her life somebody had kept their promise. He stood there, smiling at her, and Regina found herself returning the smile.

He had come; her soulmate had come to get her. To save her from this stupid fairy.

Speaking of a certain fairy. It was time that Regina gave Robin a hand. It was time to finally get out of here and back to their son.

A moment later she and Snow had finally got rid of their restraints, ready to fight, ready to get their families back.

Whatever that exactly meant.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovely people hope everyone is alright! So here we have it...the big fight! Be ready for a lot of pain and maybe a few tears.
> 
> This chapter starts the last arc of this story and I hope you'll enjoy it! Please review your comments mean so much to me!
> 
> A special thank you to Abi for the beta you are truly an angel!

Sometime before the fight

* * *

 

Robin starred at the imp in front of him trying to take in everything he just heard. He always knew Regina was special- had known from the first moment their eyes met, but this still came as a little surprise.

His love was the most powerful light magic witch… well, that was something. Robin didn’t trust magic, never had, but since he’d met Regina he had to rethink his opinion. He was trying to understand that part of Regina, was understanding it a little better every day. Regina kept explaining, showing it to him and the more Robin saw the more he became aware of how little he knew about magic after all.

He wouldn’t lie, magic was always going to make him nervous, but he was slowly accepting it for what it was; a skill, a power, and like all powerful skills it depended on how you wielded it. Robin trusted Regina- trusted her magic- and was trying to make peace with that part of his soulmate. He had sworn to himself never to force her to decide between him or magic, knowing it would rip her apart. And he loved her far too much for that.

But Robin of Locksley was a smart man who know the lure of darkness all too well himself, and had seen the tight grip it had on Regina often enough. The moments where he could see _her,_ watch all the warmth go from Regina’s chocolate eyes, replaced by a coldness that had made him shiver. Remembered all the conversations, remembered Regina’s fear that in the end no matter how hard she tried the darkness would always win.

That she wasn’t capable of being good.

He had tried over and over again to tell her that good or evil was a choice; that she could be whoever the bloody hell she wanted to be. But fighting against her demons- against her self-loathing- had been one of the toughest challenges Robin ever had to face. But it had been worth every bit of it.

And what Rumpelstiltskin had just told him was proof of what he had known in his heart, likely from the moment he had first looked into those beautiful dark orbs.

“How do we find her?” Robin asked sharply. He needed the imp, but trusting the Dark One was a dangerous deed. Instead of finally giving a straight answer the damn imp only giggled. Robin could feel his blood boil; fear for Regina and their unborn child driving him crazy.

“We can’t find her,” Rumpelstiltskin told him leaning, relaxed, against the next tree. Robin’s gaze fell on the old tree for a moment, memories of Regina against a tree; moaning his name, soft curves, his hands in her silky hair… bloody hell he wanted her back. Wanted to hold her in his arms again. Wanted to go finally home far away from all this.

“But you said…,” Robin started, closing the distance between him and the Dark One, ready to punch him- screw the consequences. “Ah, are we a bit prickly thief?” The wizard questioned, grinning and stopping Robin with a wave of his hand. Robin glared at him, fighting against the magic. “ _We_ can’t. You on the other hand…,” he added softly.

“Me? How? Tell me you damn imp tell me,” Robin shouted, tired of playing games. This only made Rumple giggle even more, but in the end he finally gave the answer Robin desired “She is your prophesied soulmate, Robin Hood. Your soul and hers are connected; no matter what happens you and she will always be part of one another. One soul, so to speak. And with that-,” with a swirl of blue smoke a purple stone appeared in Robin’s hand “-you can find her. Just think of her, and the stone will poof you to her.”

“What do you want for this?” Robin asked, studying the stone in his hand carefully. “Nothing,” the imp replied simply. Now it was Robin who laughed. “Somehow I don’t believe you, Dark One. There is always a catch with you- always a deal to be made. What. Do.You.Want.For.It?”

“Fierce _and_ smart, maybe Regina’s taste isn’t so bad after all. But yes, this time there is no price- at least none you’ll pay,” Rumpelstiltskin answered. “I won’t let somebody else pay my debt,” Robin growled. Chances were Regina was the one who had to pay up, and he wouldn’t let that happen; wouldn’t let that damn imp anywhere near her.

“Take it _thief_ and go. The favor I want won’t cost Regina much. Besides, it seems our Evil Queen abandoned her dark deeds for more heroic actions. What I want I can only get from her, but she won’t have trouble with it. After all she is now a parent too.”

“Parent? You have a child?” Robin asked, surprised. he couldn’t picture the Dark One as a father. Rumple seemed to realise he had given away too much, so he only said “Go, or she will be dead before any of us can get what they want.”

Worry for Regina won over his curiosity, so Robin nodded and turned his attention to Charming, who had been silently watching their conversation. “Let’s go and get Regina and Snow back.”

“After you,” David replied, holding onto Robin’s shoulder. Robin took a deep breath, closed his eyes and thought of Regina. Thought of her smile, of the mischievous sparkle in her dark eyes, of her bruised heart that still held so much love and care. God, he loved her so much.

The next moment they felt a pull, and then everything was covered in blue smoke. When Robin opened his eyes he was in a cave and he had to blink twice till what was happening in front of him sunk in. He had found her; had found his Regina. She was tied up and no one else but the Blue Fairy herself was there- stood in front of her with a cruel smile on her face, about to wave her wand, and all Robin could think was _protect her_.

* * *

 

Present time

* * *

 

Regina threw one last glance towards Robin before she turned her attention back to that crazy fairy, a fireball ready in her hand… ready to fight. Unfortunately Blue recovered fast from the arrow and as soon as she got the wand back blue sparkles appeared, making Percival as well as four other men appear. And all of these men had one aim… her.

Regina threw magic at them- a fireball hit one of them perfectly and he lit up in flames with a loud scream. She looked around her. Robin, Snow and David had jumped in front of her as soon as they realized the men’s target.

Robin was fighting with his knife to her left, the men too close to use his arrows, David (who had given his fiancée a quick kiss before handing a knife over to her) was fighting to her right . She knew she was likely powerful enough to kill all those men by herself, but she was so tired and her entire body ached. That damn fairy that damn… wait, where the hell did that damn moth go?

Regina was distracted just for a moment but long enough for Percival to come from behind and press a knife to her throat. She could feel the cold metal, could feel the pressure, felt his hot breathe on her skin. “You’re gonna die today, bitch.” She was getting really tired of people trying to kill her. “Let go of me,” Regina told him calmly.

“Ah, and why would I do that Your Majesty? Tell me how much pain were you in, with the poison flowing through your body? It was probably _horrible_ but still not enough. You need to _die,_ and I’m so happy after everything I get the honor of slitting your throat,” Percival replied, grinning madly.

Regina took a deep breath and was about to snarl at him and taunt him when he threw her against the wall, the knife still to her throat but now he was facing her and when their eyes locked Regina had to swallow hard.

Had to swallow because she saw herself in his eyes; recognized the madness, the blind rage, the need to make the pain go away and irrational belief that hurting others would make the ache less.

And the coldness… the look of a monster. A monster _she_ had created. Percival was who he was because of her- because she took everything he loved simply because she was hurting.

She still hated him- hated him for being the reason she had suffered through countless nightmares, through burning pain, hated him for putting her family in danger- but nothing could change the fact that this was partially her fault, too. And if she wanted to be better she needed to try to make it right.

“I understand the need for revenge. Vengeance is the only reason why we two are here today. I understand your anger, but I’m asking you to let me go. Not because of me, but because of you. You said I was a monster, and you were right- I am. But right now you’re turning into one too. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Percival. Save yourself.”

For a moment there was something resembling hope in his eyes- an almost pleading look- but it was gone as fast as it appeared. Now there was only coldness and Regina knew what would happen next, could feel how he increased the pressure of the knife, knew that she should kill him- should defend herself- but she couldn’t. Couldn’t, because she remembered him now; remembered the young man, his eyes full of pain surrounded by the dead bodies of his family.

Dead because of _her._ Destroyed because of her broken heart. And in that moment she didn’t think about the baby she was carrying, didn’t think about Robin or Roland, nor about Snow or Charming. Just about the fact that Percival was right

She was a monster, and monsters needed to be put down.

So she only stood still; never losing eye contact with the young man in front of her, a small part of her still hoping he would make the right choice. That he was better than her.

“Goodbye, Your Majesty,” Percival hissed, ready to slit her throat when his eyes suddenly widened first in confusion, and then with realization as he saw the sword that had been ran through him from behind. With a last glance at Regina he dropped to the ground, dead. Regina only could watch; watch him die.

“Regina what the _hell_ are you doing?” Robin’s voice took her back to the here and now. He was standing in front of her, holding her hand looking at her shocked and… angry? Why was he angry? She hadn’t done anything wrong, anything evil. Not this time.

“R-Robin?”

“Yes, it’s me love. Regina, look at me. What is going on?” He still seemed so angry, Regina couldn’t understand it. But there was no time to think about it, not when Regina could see out of the corner of her eye the arrow coming towards them- towards Robin and with one smooth move (ignoring Robin’s attempts to hold her and ignoring the blood dropping from her throat) she jumped before him, catching the arrow with her bare hands.

“Don’t you _dare_ touch him you cockroach,” with those words Regina waved her hand and with a loud smack the neck of the man broke and he fell to the ground. It was one thing if Percival (righteously) tried to kill her, it was another if they went after innocents.

All the men were dead lying on the ground. Regina, Robin, Snow and Charming all were ruffed up but the most serious injury seemed to be the cut on Regina’s throat.

“Damn Regina, are you alright?” Charming asked softly, worried and grabbing her hand when she didn’t react to his question. “Regina, talk to us. You need to heal that wound, or put something on it,” Snow added, far more concern in her voice than she should have for the woman who hunted her for years, Regina thought with a sigh.

“I’m fine,” Regina replied dryly, avoiding eye contact with Robin who still looked at her as she had lost her mind.

“Yeah _sure_ , you’ve been a better liar than this Your Majesty,” David muttered, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket and holding it to her throat. It was soaked in blood within seconds, the cut maybe deeper than Regina thought. Regina had to chuckle at Snow’s surprised frown that David could touch Regina without getting his hand chopped up. It was almost amusing to watch her step-daughter confused like hell.

Robin still hadn’t said a word, only studied her with his intense gaze which made Regina more than just a bit nervous. She could normally read her soulmate like an open book, but she couldn’t figure out what was going on with him right now.

“Well that was a _fight_ ,” Charming mumbled, hugging his fiancée close to him and noticing the strangeness between his two friends. They all just stood there for a moment in silence, slowly realizing how close death they had all been, and that they had, in fact, won. Well, and the slightly insane fact that the Evil Queen had tried to save Snow White.

But they had won. They had defeated… where the hell was that blue moth again? It was at the exact moment that thought crossed her mind Regina saw the Blue Fairy appear from her hiding spot, the wand aimed at her and a cruel smile on her face. Regina recognized the wand immediately; it was the Dark Fairy’s wand, one of the most powerful artifacts of magic there was.

It was too late to cast a protection spell- not that one would’ve been powerful enough. It was too late for everything, it was too late…

Regina only could watch as a strand of magic flew towards her, could feel the deadly power within it, was aware of the damage that kind of spell would do to a human being.

Happiness had been in such close reach, but the Evil Queens of this world didn’t get a happy ending, she should’ve known that. But her time with Robin and Roland- the love and joy she had experienced, the feast with the Merry Men, the feeling of being a _part_ of something, the mission with Charming, knowing that both the man she loved and the other man she had come to see as a friend had her back. The baby… a chance of a real life without pain and sorrow, no blind anger and hatred eating her alive.

A second chance.

But she had to admit it, it was ironic that she would die saving the girl she swore to kill; if everything wasn’t hurting so damn much Regina might’ve laughed. In the end Percival and Blue were right.

She was a monster, and monsters don’t deserve happiness. The world would cheer and celebrate her death. The only solace Regina had was that in the end she tried to do the right thing, and at least in the eyes of the people she loved she would die as Regina, not as the Evil Queen. Maybe that was enough.

Regina was frozen in place- fear gripping her heart- waiting for the impact of the magic. Then, it was like time stood still. The impact never came, never came because somebody jumped in front of her and took what was meant for her.

That somebody was Snow.

Regina watched her step-daughter fall down with a dull sound, blood already soaking her white dress. It took a moment for Regina’s tired and confused brain to actually grasp what just happened.

Snow White had jumped in front of her and took the magic instead of her; she had saved Regina’s life at the cost of her own.

Robin and Regina’s eyes locked for a moment, too many emotions in both of them. Confusion in Regina’s, relief and dread in Robin’s. Regina yelled “Snow!” and dropped to the ground next to her step-daughter

David cradled Snow in his lap, stroking her hair, begging her to stay with them. To Regina’s surprise (and utter relief) Snow was still alive, but barely. The princess’ breathing was shallow and her skin was deadly pale- blood dripping where the magic had ripped open her skin. She was losing too much blood too fast, a big puddle already forming under her.

“You stupid girl! Why did you do that?” Blue’s angry voice came from the corner, but everybody ignored her, all eyes on the dying woman in front of them.

“Snow, damnit. why did you do that?” Regina asked at the same time, her dark eyes finding Snow’s green ones.

Despite being in great pain Snow managed to smile at Regina, a single tear falling down the princess cheek. “B-Because I-I love you R-Regina. And because y-you deserve to be h-happy. I-I can’t be the r-reason why you l-lose everything a-again, Regina I-I can’t.”

The words came out weakly but Regina could see in Snow’s eyes that her step-daughter had meant all of it. That stupid girl did love her, even after all this.

“You shouldn’t have done this Snow. That was foolish,” Regina whispered, stroking Snow’s cheek gently, and her heart felt heavy as the girl leaned into her touch. “Y-You always said I-I was a foolish girl. S-So why are you surprised?” Snow asked, smirking. Or something that was supposed to be a smirk

“You never should’ve loved me, Snow. I destroy everything I touch, you should’ve known that dear,” Regina replied, tears now falling too. She could feel Robin’s hand on her shoulder supporting her and she was grateful for it. Losing the girl in front of her shouldn’t hurt like this.

“N-No you don’t,” Snow told her, using all the strength she had to grip Regina’s hand and squeeze it as she repeated “No you don’t.”

She then turned her attention to David and whispered “I-I love you David I loved you from the first m-moment I saw you and I a-always will.” “Snow, no don’t, you have to fight,” David begged her.

“We’ll find each o-other again- we always d-do,” Snow whispered, already having trouble breathing as she searched for Robin’s eyes “K-Keep her safe and don’t y-you dare h-hurt her. Promise m-me,” Their eyes locked when Robin nodded and reassured her “Yes, I promise.”

“Good,” Snow whispered before turning her attention to Regina again. “You h-have to let him, let him, let them love you.” Regina nodded slowly, never looking away from Snow. There was a moment of silence before Snow spoke up again, sounding so much younger and more like the little girl had Regina met all those years ago.

“I’m scared, Mama,” and that was it. Regina’s maternal instincts kicked in and- like she had done many times before when Snow was younger, when the girl had had nightmares- she bent over her and pressed a soft kiss on her step-daughters sweaty forehead, whispering softly “It’s okay baby but you have to be brave now. I’m here and…”

“- we can b-be brave together. Nothing stands a chance against both of us ,” Snow ended her sentence, the sentence Regina had told her a million times growing up when Snow had been scared.

“No, Regina, there has to be something you can do damnit,” Charming yelled, pulling Snow closer to him. “Do something! Heal her! Please Regina, please,” he begged desperately.

“I can’t David, I don’t have the power to do so. This spell… my magic isn’t strong enough,” Regina replied, tears still falling down. “Yes it is, you are,” Robin told her, taking her hand into his. “The prophecy says you are the…” but before Robin could finish Regina interrupted him.

“The prophecy can’t be about me Robin. I-I’m not…I’m…that kind of light magic requires somebody with a pure heart and mine Robin… its dark. I’m nothing more than a monster and that kind of magic is not for people like me,” Regina whispered, shaking her head. That kind of magic so pure and good; was everything she was _not_.

“No Regina, no _listen_ to me,” Robin tried again, taking her chin into his hand and forcing her to face him softly “The prophecy speaks of the most resilient heart, and who could that be if not you? You went through so much; lived a life in darkness, full of hatred, but still here you are trying to save the life of your enemy.”

“Robin I don’t think….” Regina started but Robin wasn’t done yet “You want to tell me you don’t love me? That you don’t love Roland or our baby with all your heart? That you don’t love Snow? That you wouldn’t switch places with her if you could? Regina, people who did what you did, who were so deep in darkness, usually don’t feel that way. You do- you always did.”

“Good or evil is a choice, and you made yours for good when you decided to love again. We all know who you really are, deep inside. You are not the Evil Queen; you are Regina. You just have to be brave now. You can save her, you can proove everybody that you always were more than _her_.”

“C’mon milady. Let’s be brave together,” Robin repeated what Regina had told Snow and gently wiped a tear away. “You can do this Regina. Nobody choses who you are but you. If you want to be good- be it. I know you can do it, I have faith in you now, you just need to have faith too.”

Regina looked at Robin; could see the love, the utter belief he had in his eyes. Her gaze fell on Snow and she saw how her breathing slowed, how the puddle of blood got bigger and bigger, saw the pleading look in Charming’s eyes but it was what she saw in Snow’s that convinced her to try. She saw the same faith in her that she saw in Robin’s eyes, and maybe- just maybe- they were right.

Maybe she actually _was_ more than the Evil Queen.

“You’ll never be good enough, you’ll never...” what else Regina would’ve never been was cut short as Robin stood up and punched the Blue Fairy with such a force that she dropped, unconscious, to the ground.

“Nobody cares what you have to say, fairy,” Robin hissed, taking his place next to Regina again.

“Okay,” Regina whispered and turned her body so she could place her hands on Snow’s dying body. “Okay?” Charming asked hopefully, and then there was silence.

Regina took a deep breath, feeling Robin’s hand on the small of her back, anchoring her.

_Protect, Regina. Love, Regina. Be brave, Regina_. Regina kept up this mantra as she held her hands over Snow, and at first nothing happened but then…

Regina didn’t know how or why but she could feel the magic flowing through her; could feel the warmth and caring touch of light magic. It was beautiful and soothing and when her fingertips touched Snow she could see how the wounds closed themselves, could see how the blood disappeared.

How Snow’s cheeks got their rosy color back, how the life returned to her step-daughter, and the rush of love she felt… it was breathtaking. Regina thought of every happy memory she had, flashes of the day she met Snow, the time she had spent with Robin, Roland’s smile, the feeling of her baby and many more moments. The more she thought about them, the more she allowed herself to feel, the stronger her magic became. Her magic was white and golden- gone were the dark colors of her dark magic. Regina felt light, it wasn’t the rush of power she was used to feeling; it was far better. Now as the magic flowed, controlling it was far easier than Regina was used to, and this was the moment when she realized that this was the magic she was always meant to use, the magic she was born with.

There was no fight for dominance like there had been with her dark magic, it was like a dance; passionate but gentle, powerful but kind. Regina kept going and going even though she could feel herself getting tired. The spell on Snow was strong, but Regina had been wrong. She was stronger than the wand’s magic- she had never felt power like this, never seen power like this.

With one last wave of her hand Regina stopped the magic, watching how Snow slowly got up with David’s aid. Regina herself was glad that Robin was behind her, she was close to passing out. The use of the magic had drained her, and for a second she feared that it had all been too much for her body and fear for her baby made her breathless, but at the same moment Robin caught her from behind and she could feel a warm rush of energy telling her that her child was fine.

Everybody was fine- at least for the moment.

“You did it,” Robin said proudly as he helped her up while David did the same with Snow. Both women’s eyes locked for a moment before Snow, with a soft squeeze to David’s arm, got out of his hold and took few steps towards Regina and then took the risk. She pulled Regina in a hug.

Regina went rigid for a moment, a distant memory of the last time Snow hugged her returning- the hatred she had felt back then. But that was the past, and even though there was a lot of bad blood- a lot of history- between her and Snow they had to deal with, for the moment it was enough. So Regina let Snow hug her, and even pulled her closer.

The hug didn’t last long before Regina pushed Snow away gently and avoided her gaze.

“You do love me,” Snow whispered, tears still in her eyes. “You are a spoiled unbearable brat and if there is anybody who is allowed to kill you it’s me, not that a fairy with no taste in fashion,” was all Regina replied, not ready to admit those words. But they all knew they were true, so Snow simply nodded with a bright smile on her face and said sweetly “You are a bitch Your Majesty.”

“Thank you, Regina,” David said and was the next one to pull Regina into a hug who again just let it happen. “Okay Charming, enough. Get your shepherd hands off me,” Regina muttered, making David smile fondly. “Sweet as always, Regina. Too bad I’m slowly getting used to your sharp tongue. It has lost its power a bit.” Regina gave David her best evil glare but he merely winked at her.

“Let’s get out of her,” Robin said, taking Regina’s hand. “What are we gonna do with her?” He asked, pointing at the Blue Fairy. “Kill her,” was Regina immediate response, but after a second of hesitation the other three told her no. But… the hesitation had been there.

“Can you trap her somehow Regina? Where she can’t get out?” Snow asked, looking thoughtfully at the unconscious fairy. “Yes I can, but then what?” Regina questioned.

“How about we just do this for now and think about everything else later, after everybody has a good night’s rest?” Robin suggested, noticing how Regina was leaning onto him more than necessary which told him that she had reached the limit of her strength.

“Alright,” Regina replied, and with a wave of her hand a glowing circle moved around Blue. “She won’t be able to get out of this.” With that all of them left the cave, ready to finally catch a little break from everything.

Later, they were in their tent; Regina lying next to him, half asleep. The magic had drained her but she seemed content- content with him by her side, his fingers stroking softly up and down her belly.

“That feels nice,” Regina muttered sleepily, grinning softly at him. But Robin couldn’t return that grin, images of her and the knife on her throat, of her not fighting back, flashed before his eyes. It made him want to shake her. to shake some sense into her, to make her realize how terrifying it was to love a woman who didn’t value her own life. To make her realize that she meant the world to him, and losing her would break him. How angry he was, how afraid that in the end some enemy would be able to take her from him, and she would let them.

“Robin, what is it? You’ve barely said a word since we got back,” Regina asked, looking at him uncertainly. Robin remained silent for a moment and then “You didn’t fight back.”

“What do you mean? Why are you upset with me?” Robin took a deep breath, seeing as that she was actually confused and it made him so angry. And broke his heart.

“Percival put a knife on your throat, and you just let it happen. You are a powerful witch- you know how to throw a punch- but you did nothing. You just stood there, and let him almost kill you.”

“So yes, Regina, it is a tad upsetting if the woman you love just lets her throat get slit. Which would’ve happened, if I hadn’t killed him before he could hurt you.”

Now it was Regina who stayed silent, and that was what made Robin finally lose it “Bloody Hell Regina you did nothing! You treat your own life like you are disposable, but did you- once, just once- think how I would feel if you died? How Roland would feel? Losing _another_ mother? Regina I love you, but I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t always fear that you will get yourself killed because you think you don’t matter because, damnit Regina, you do! You mean everything to me. And you let this monster-”

“-He is a monster because of me, Robin. I made him and I-I couldn’t kill him, not if I am the only reason he is what he is,” Regina whispered, so much self-loathing in her dark eyes.

“Did you play a role in him being who he is? Yes- but in the end it was his own bloody choice to be a monster, not yours. As it is your own fucking choice to… I mean, do you want to die Regina? I’ve asked myself that question since the day I met you… is that what you want? To die?” Robin yelled, fear of losing her making him louder and louder.

Regina didn’t answer so he grabbed her arms and softly shook her. Despite being angry he still tried to be careful with his touches. He never would manhandle a woman, especially not Regina.

“You put yourself in danger over and over again, and I can protect you from anything, but not _yourself_ Regina! And then there’s the baby…” Robin couldn’t get to the end of his sentence because Regina’s eyes went wide and if Robin thought he saw self-loathing in them before it was nothing compared to how it was now.

“T-The baby… I-I didn’t think- I never would let the baby get hurt I didn’t…” Regina’s entire body wracked with sobs which made Robin’s anger disappear. He pulled her into his arms and held her as she fought against him till her strength left her.

“I-I told you I’ll be a bad mother I’m not worth…,” that was when Robin stopped her and gently withdrew from her, tipping her chin up so she was facing him “Regina, stop it. You are a wonderful mother, and you are worth it- more than you can imagine. And you said you and the baby are alright, right?”

Regina nodded softly, her hand finding her belly and Robin put his atop of hers, both protecting their unborn child. Robin pressed a soft kiss onto her stomach before he continued.

“But you need to understand that you can’t put yourself in danger like that. Not now, and not when the baby is born. We need you and, bloody hell Regina… do you remember when I told you we are a team- that I’m your partner in all this?” Robin asked, tucking a strand of her silky hair behind her ear.

“Yes,” Regina answered, her voice barely above a whisper. “Good. Because we still are, and I’m gonna tell you every day how much you mean to me; how special you are that you are needed that you’re worth. Till the day you can actually believe it. And till that day comes… talk to me when the inner voice full self-loathing is too strong, alright?”

Regina closed her eyes for a moment, laid back down facing the opposite direction and said quietly “I just wanted to be good.” Robin inhaled sharply as he too lied down and softly turned her over. When they faced each other he pressed a gentle kiss onto her lips before he told her “You are good, Regina. You have done nothing else in the last few weeks but protect the people you love. And I can’t tell you how proud I am of you.”

“But I’m the Evil Queen and …” Robin silenced her with another kiss before he continued “She is in the past. Regina, you can’t erase what you did by sacrificing yourself. Your death doesn’t help anyone.”

“But there you have it, Robin. I can’t erase what I’ve done; I can’t bring them back, I can’t do anything to redeem myself. Why should I have the right to live when…”

“Because everybody deserves a second chance Regina, that’s why. True, you cannot undo what you’ve done, but there are other ways for somebody to redeem themselves,” Robin told her, looking straight into her dark orbs which were so full of pain.

“How?” Her question was almost desperate, and once again Robin was amazed how young Regina could look sometimes. “By making the decision to do the right thing, every day. To help and protect those who can’t do it themselves. To be the best version of yourself every day of your life. That is what redemption looks like, milady- not you dying by the hand of some scoundrel.”

Regina seemed to consider his words and when she looked up Robin knew that he might have won this battle- but was still far away from winning the war. But it didn’t matter, Regina was worth every bit of it.

“Okay I’ll try,” Regina whispered, and Robin replied before kissing her softly “That’s all I can ask for, milady.” He only wanted to give her a good-night kiss but Regina deepened the kiss.

“Robin, after all… I need to feel you please,” Regina pleaded, and after asking her again if she was certain he kissed her back fiercely. Tongues fought for dominance, the kisses got more and more passionate till Robin stopped and started to press open mouth kisses down her throat. He shivered for a moment remembering how just a few hours ago a knife had cut into Regina’s tender skin. She had healed it by now, but the memory would stay forever with Robin.

He found his way down to her breast and freed it from the material covering it, and had to chuckle at Regina’s loud moan at his soft touches. She amazed him every time again, how sensitive pregnancy had made his Regina. Robin took a nipple into his mouth sucking it gently at first, but spurred on by Regina’s groans he added pressure, his other hand finding the other breast and kneading it.

“Mhh Robin please,” Regina cried out. “Do you like that milady?” Robin teased, rolling one nipple between his fingers a bit rougher than before, earning a low moan from her which he silenced with his mouth on hers. Snow and Charming slept in the tent next to them, after all.

Robin whispered “Take your clothes off, milady, I want to see more of you,” he didn’t even finish the sentence as with one wave of her hand both of their clothes disappeared.

“Good girl,” Robin muttered before he pushed one finger into her without any warning. Her back arched of the bed. He kept up the slow pace but Regina hissed “Two fingers now.” Robin would’ve preferred to keep it up, but he also could see that his love had to fight to keep her eyes open which meant he had to speed everything up a little bit.

He added a second finger and bloody hell she was so beautiful. That was what he whispered into her ear after biting her earlobe gently. She moved against his hand, moaning constantly till she reached for his hand. Robin stopped dead as she softly pulled his hand away. “Regina are you okay did I do…”

“I’m fine Robin but I need you, I need you inside me and I need it now,” Regina smirked at Robin to make sure he knew he didn’t do anything wrong and pulled him close to her, reached for his cock, pumping it a few times making Robin moan her name.

“Fuck me, Robin, please,” Regina bit his upper lip, spreading her legs even further. Robin seemed to get the clue and with another soft kiss he pushed into her. God it felt so amazing- it felt so good to finally have him back and for a moment Regina just could forget everything.

Like always he looked at her for permission to start moving, and like always Regina felt a warmth at the knowledge that he was so caring, so protective of her. Robin started again at a slow pace but like her he needed it and soon thrusts became faster. “Mhh god you’re so wet,” Robin moaned and his moan got only louder when she replied “Just for you.” “Mhh just like that, Robin can you maybe…,” but as always he seemed to know what she needed. He pressed his thumb to her clit before she could even voice her wish. The added pressure drove her almost crazy, she gasped his name and he asked “Good?” and she simply answers with an “I’m close”

He changed the angle a bit, added even more pressure on her clit and whispered “Come for me, beautiful, I love you so much my love, let go for me.” And that was it for Regina. She came with a loud scream, again only muffled by Robin’s mouth on her.

“God I love to watch you come. That might be the most amazing sight there is,” Robin moaned, clearly close to the edge himself and with one last push he came with a loud groan.

When both of their breathing went back to normal Regina snuggled against Robin and let him pull the covers over both of them. They kissed one last time, both trying to be as close to the other as possible and before sleep claimed her Regina whispered a soft _I love you_ which was answered by a gentle kiss on her hair and a _I love you too, milady._

Both Robin and Regina- as well as Snow and Charming- slept well that night happy to finally found each other again. Happy to go home and back to their lives, and as all four of them were snoring softly not too far away a fairy found her way out of her prison, ready to enact plan B.

Ready to destroy the woman and all those who were ready to protect her. Blue had never wanted it to go that far, but she had to do what she had to do to protect this realm from Regina.

Even if that meant doing the unthinkable.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys we are slowly reaching the end of this story only 2-3 chapters are left. I hope you still enjoy it as much as I do! We have some cute and angsty OQ feels, some SnowQueen talk and in the end we might have to say a goodbye…
> 
> Thank you to Abi for reading through everything!
> 
> If you wanna talk to me please feel free to write me! Tumblr: onceuponahappytime and Twitter OnceUponAHappy
> 
> Trigger warning: There multiple mentions of Leopold and PTSD nothing explicit but very emotional

Regina woke up shortly before sunrise in Robin’s arms, his smell in her nose. She had to chuckle; who would ever have thought she would love the smell of the forest so much?

She used to mock him about it but now… it reminded her of home, of safety, of him. As Regina snuggled closer to Robin she couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have him, to have her son, to have her baby; it was all like some wonderful dream. A dream she feared she would wake from every moment.

Those moments were the ones where she had to hold her loved ones close to make sure that they were actually there and not some product of her damaged mind.

The last few weeks had been the most confusing but wonderful of her life. She had found love, had found a home, had found forgiveness. And Snow White. Regina still wasn’t sure what to make of everything that had happened in the last 24 hours between her and her step-daughter. Too much history was between them but Regina found that she was tired of fighting. Tired of hating.

It was too soon to make any promises, but Regina would try her best to let it go. She just wasn’t sure if she was capable of it. She loved Snow- that much she had to admit. But sometimes love wasn’t enough.

Coming to the conclusion that it was far too early in the morning for such heavy thoughts (and a soft rush of energy from her belly) Regina figured it was time to do something not only more enjoyable but also calming. Getting close to the people she loved to make sure they were here with her

Regina’s hand slowly found its way down Robin thighs into his pants closing around his cock. She started to pump a few times till she heard Robin moan and inch open his eyes.

“Wha’ are yu doin’ milady?” His voice was still raspy from sleep as his hands searched for her blindly.

“Saying good morning to you,” Regina replied cheekily, pushing his pants down and slowly lowering herself. She never did to Robin what she was about to do. Too many bad memories were attached to it. But she felt safe with him; felt safe to get out of her comfort zone, knowing that he wouldn’t hurt her.

Before Robin could say another word Regina took his cock into her mouth, silencing him effectively. She moved back a little swirling her tongue over the tip and making him groan.

“R-Regina oh bloody hell this feels amazing,” Robin hissed lifting his head to get a look at her. He pushed her hair aside softly- to get a better look Regina realized with a smirk. She started to move her mouth up and down and as she sucked hard Robin exhaled with a deep moan, his fingers finding their way into her hair pulling her first softly (breath, Regina, everything is alright it’s just Robin) but when she increased the pace Robin’s grip tightened and she was done.

Regina flinched back, tears appearing in her eyes ( _stupid this is stupid she is stupid_ ) and to her relief Robin let go of her in an instant, already looking guilty. And oh she _hated_ this- that her past kept hunting her. Robin didn’t do anything wrong but she still could see how he was beating himself up about something that shouldn’t be a problem in the first place.

But those damn tears were there, on the verge of falling, and it made her so angry, so frustrated, so so…

“Breathe, milady everything is alright,” Robin’s soothing voice calmed Regina’s beating heart but when he reached for her a second later he pulled his hand back, clearly afraid to upset her even further with his touch ( _god he couldn’t be further from the truth_ )

“I’m sorry I’m so-” Regina started but Robin interrupted her “-There is nothing to be sorry about Regina, you know that. What did I do that upset you?” Regina opened her mouth to tell him that it wasn’t his fault- that it wasn’t him- but he took her hand into his carefully, watching her reaction when he spoke, those blue eyes looking so _damn_ understanding “I _know_ it wasn’t me but it was something I did. And it hurt you so please Regina tell me what I should avoid doing because the last thing I want to do is cause you any harm. I love you far too much for that.”

Regina swallowed as a tear escaped her, followed by another when Robin tenderly kissed her fingertips. “Don’t pull my hair… please,” Regina whispered, not able to hold Robin’s gaze. She was so ashamed; they had had sex- wonderful, _mind blowing_ sex- and she trusted him, but she couldn’t make him feel good without crying. _Pathetic. Stupid. Weak_

“I never will do it again I promise milady,” Robin replied, still holding her hand. “And just for the record- this doesn’t make you in any way weak Regina.” It sometimes really was like he could read her mind. Which was comforting and terrifying at the same time.

But now it meant the world

“Come here” Robin told her softly, pulling her toward him, giving her enough space to withdraw. But that was the last thing Regina wanted. And when Robin had her in his arms Regina slowly started to settle down again. Breathing in his scent, knowing that she was safe, it was bliss. But then Regina did realize something despite everything what just happened… she was still horny.

She turned her face to Robin and sought out his mouth, first kissing tenderly but soon she deepened the kiss, slowly moving on top of him. “Regina we don’t have to we can just…” Regina silenced him with another kiss and then moved between his legs again.

“I’m fine Robin. Now shut up and enjoy,” Regina told him with a smirk. When she lowered her head and kissed the tip of his cock she couldn’t shake the anxiety up entirely. But slowly, with every move, every suck, every swirl of her tongue, Regina felt more confident. And with every moan she drew from Robin every oh-so-careful touch that made her feel safe- and now only a bit stupid- she enjoyed it more.

“Oh god Regina, this is wonderful. You are wonderful,” Robin moaned, encouraging her. Regina pumped him a few times, earning a loud groan from him. She was feeling herself relax and the knowledge of what she could do to him shot exciting shivers through her.

And she was wet

Like seriously, soaking. She finally understood why it turned him on so much to go down on her. Watching him falling apart was the most erotic view she had ever had. Hearing his moans and groans made her press her legs together to get some friction on her clit.

“Milady s-stop. As tempting this is I want to come inside you not your mouth,” Robin muttered gently, pulling her up and pressing their lips together. Regina let Robin take the lead for a few seconds, letting him kiss down her neck and suck on her pulse point, making her moan softly before she moved back to straddle him and let herself sink down on this hard cock- not ready to wait any longer. She cried out when he stretched her walls and she finally felt the desperately needed pressure.

Robin’s hands found their way to her hips, holding onto her and Regina suddenly realized with a frown that this was the first time she was on top.

Regina always had been on top. Well- except Leopold of course but Regina didn’t really want to think about that; had already done so too often lately. Not that she had slept with many men. Contrary to popular believe she actually could count the people she shared her bed with on one hand. And she had been on top _always;_ never felt safe enough to give up control and let go. But with Robin it had been different. She had known he would never hurt her, never force her; had known it from the moment she had been at his mercy- weak and injured.

Had seen the sincerity in his big blue eyes- almost lost herself in them. Had felt so secure and cared for, she had trusted him. And for the first time in her life he never, not once, betrayed that trust.

So when Regina started to move on top of him- their eyes locking- she realized she was on top because she _wanted_ to, not because she needed to. When she picked up the pace and made them both groan she didn’t want to push each other over the sweet edge- didn’t want it to be over as quickly as possible.

“God milady faster please Regina oh god come for me you beautiful, stunning, creature,” Robin moaned, his thumb finding its way between her legs and pressing onto her clit making her cry out a very unroyal “God fuck yes,”

They never lost eyes contact as they reached their climax- so much love shining in his eyes. Love for her, desire for her. Regina rode him hard now, ready to come, to let everything go. “You feel so good mhh your cock you…” Regina stopped talking as her orgasm ripped through her making it simply impossible to make a coherent sentence. “Yessss Regina, come for me,” Robin hissed, holding back for her. Her walls clenched around him pulling him straight with her and they both came with a loud moan.

Regna just let herself fall onto Robin, neither of them speaking for a few moments while they caught their breath. His arms came around her to pull her next to him, pressing soft kisses onto her temple. “I love you,” Robin whispered into her ear. Regina snuggled even closer as she told him the same. Robin threw the blanket over them again and his hand wandered down to her belly, putting it protectively where their child lay. “How about we get some more sleep milady?”

“What thief? Was that too much for you that you need to go back to dream world?” Regina asked, cheekily. “Hey Your Majesty, it’s been rather exhausting saving the royal family I’ll have you know. I might deserve a few hours of peaceful slumber,” Robin replied, smirking.

“Men…” Regina muttered and had to chuckle as she heard snoring instead of a reply. He already had fallen asleep. Regina was about to do the same when she heard soft cries. Regina thought about ignoring it, but in the end curiosity won. She carefully got out of Robin’s hold and exited the tent, searching where the cries came from

It turned out even Snow White knew how to be upset without making a fuss and making everybody run to take care of the spoiled brat.

No- Snow was sitting on the ground leaning against a tree clearly trying to stop crying- to make no noise- and failing completely at this task. Regina was tempted to just go and leave the princess in her misery. Whatever that could be for pure, hopeful Snow White.

In the end (and after a rush from her belly ) Regina sighed and slowly walked towards her step daughter. “Well, well, what can be so terrible that you are sitting here on the ground at this hour? Stop crying it only will make your eyes look puffy,” Regina mumbled, trying to ban the coldness and bitterness from her voice.

“Regina, what are you doing here?” Snow asked, confused and almost scared. Now it was Regina’s moment to be confused. The way Snow looked at her… there was so much fear and anger, and most surprisingly guilt and shame in those green eyes.

“I heard somebody and since there are so many people trying to kill me that I can’t remember the exact number, I thought I’d take a look who wants to plot my demise this time,” Regina replied, dryly.

“You see it’s just me; you can go back to bed now. I’m alright. You must be very tired, you need your rest,” Snow didn’t seem to be able to look her into her eye as she again lowered her head to avoid Regina’s gaze. What was going on with the princess?

“I’m fine, but you don’t seem to be dear. Don’t you want to tell me what is going on? Did you have a fight with Charming?” Regina was slowly getting more worried. Snow never had been someone who could keep something in (she wished she had known that when she told the girl her secret about Daniel but well…)

“I said I’m alright, Regina. Go.Back.To.Bed,” Snow hissed, leaving Regina stunned. The girl hadn’t _dared_ to talk to her like that in a long time not since she had been a prickly spoiled young girl who had ordered her around simply because she thought the whole world would revolve around her.

Snow was about to run away when Regina gripped her arm, not letting her escape. Something was off and she had lost too much already because of this girl- she needed to know what upset the princess so much.

“I’m not doing anything of the sort. What the hell is going on, Snow White?” Regina growled, using her full name knowing the effect it used to have on her. Snow didn’t turn around, staying silent till her shoulders started shaking.

“Snow what-?” Regina started, but was interrupted by a now heavily crying Snow “-I’m sorry Regina, I’m so so sorry. I-I didn’t k-know I should’ve …,” Snow cried leaving Regina even more worried.

“What are you sorry for Snow? What didn’t you know?” Regina asked, concern growing by the second. Snow took a deep breath and finally met Regina’s eyes.

“About you and my father. David told me how he hurt you, how he forced you, how… I didn’t know what he was doing to you but I should’ve, I should’ve realized why you were wearing long sleeves even when it was hot outside I should’ve…”

“Shut up. No another word, Snow,” Regina hissed because after everything, talking about how her _dear_ husband hurt her with the person responsible for her being trapped with him… it was just too much. Not after all that happened, not after all the conflicting feelings she had now. And she would _kill_ that damn shepherd for not being able to keep this mouth shut. Regina pressed her hand onto her stomach, trying to center herself and turning away from Snow, trying to push the memories away.

The second time today. She needed air she needed to breath and more than anything else she needed Snow to shut up.

And for once in her life Snow actually did what Regina asked her. She stayed quiet. She merely stood there- tears falling silently- not daring to say another word. Regina tried to catch her breath, thinking of Robin, of Roland , of her baby- anything to keep her mind from revisiting some of the darkest hours of her life.

And for once it worked.

Regina turned slowly so she could face Snow (who had guilt written all over her pale face). And for some reason- maybe it was just too much, or she actually was tired of fighting, tired of being angry, tired of hurting) she forced a smile and told the shivering girl “It wasn’t your fault, Snow. You were a child; it wasn’t your place to know.”

“8 years,” Snow replied quietly. “Excuse me?” Regina asked, confused. “Eight years, Regina. You were only eight years older than me. _You_ were a child.”

“I was almost 18 years old Snow- a woman,” Regina answered, sharply. Snow shook her head.

“Does you repeating that to yourself make it hurt any less?” Regina remained quiet for a few moments, and then whispered (and oh she hated how weak she sounded): “No”

Snow seemed to compose herself, and for the first time in her life Regina saw something like understanding in those green eyes. Regina started to realize that that woman in front of her wasn’t the young carefree self-centered girl anymore. She had grown up. Regina and her hunt after her had forced her to.

“Why did you never tell me? You tried every way to destroy me a person could think of and beyond that. Why never one word about this? You know how much I loved my father you know how much it would hurt me?” Snow looked at her, those big green eyes so hurt and confused. Just like Regina’s. Because the answer to that question was simple and complicated at the same time.

Because love and hate do lie close to each other.

“And that’s exactly the reason why I didn’t tell you. What happened between me and your father… that was _our_ business. I knew how much you loved him, how much you looked up to him, how much he loved you. You deserved your father and the good memories you two shared. It wasn’t your burden to carry.”

“It shouldn’t have been yours either. I wondered all this time what made you hate me so much. I knew you were lonely but could never understand it. You had me, you had father, you had anything everybody could dream of having. And I gave you that. I truly thought I did.”

“But when I was running from you- when I learnt how mean life actually could be- I had many lonely nights to think about it. To think about how the woman I admired more than anything else could hate me so much. And how I didn’t see the happy, hopeful girl disappear till it was too late.”

“I did destroy your life- I took everything from you because I wanted to have you. I loved you from the first moment on. You were that brave and beautiful woman… girl,” Snow added sadly. “I didn’t think- not once- about what that all meant for you. What you lost, just so I could have you as a mother. I got everything and you had to pay the price. “

Regina stayed silent, surprised to see this different side of her step-daughter. This Snow was more thoughtful and less self-absorbed than the girl she had lived with for over a decade.

“So yes, Regina, I’m sorry- I truly am.” Snow told her, guilt still shimmering in her eyes. Regina still hadn’t said a word, had stayed silent so long that Snow threw one last glance at her, and was about to turn around, clearly thinking that her apology had been rejected.

“Snow…,” Regina said, softly. She wasn’t sure why or how but the blank hatred- the blind rage she had felt towards this girl… well it wasn’t gone but it had lessened. The last few weeks had been exciting to say at least. Exciting and confusing and painful.

She thought about the many hours she had talked with Robin where she had let him see her darkest parts and had listen to his take on things. Had tried to understand her own feelings; her own pain, and after everything she was slowly reaching the point where she could see that she might have misplaced some of her anger.

Standing here and seeing the young girl in front of her beating herself up for something her father did ( _but Snow was the reason Leopold could get his hands on her_ ) and something Regina’s mother did ( _but if Snow wouldn’t have told Cora about Daniel…)_ Regina took a deep breath- and she wasn’t ready to forgive but she was ready to take the first step.

Ready to move on.

“Snow…wait.” Regina waited till Snow had turned around before she continued “I-I …you couldn’t’ve known. You couldn’t’ve know what my mother would do, nor what your father was capable off. You were 10 years old- a child- and I was so hurt and angry and alone…You had everything; you had that innocence, you were so sure that everybody who laid eyes on you would love you. I had nothing… and I envied you.”

She hadn’t planned on saying that but it somehow felt right. There had been so much anger, so much bitterness, so much loneliness that moving on had been out of the question. But now… Regina had people who loved her- _why_ she might never understand, but they did. They had faith in her- they stood by her side for whatever they saw in her. And maybe it was their support; maybe it was the desire to prove that _damn_ fairy wrong, or maybe Regina was just so tired of hurting, but she had to let go. She had to take responsibility.

“I blamed you because it hurt less than putting the blame where it belonged. It was my fault, not yours. Daniel didn’t die because of you; he died because of me. Because he loved me.” Regina took a deep breath and another till she was ready what she knew she had to say. Had to… to get her life back.

“I’m sorry, Snow”

A tear escaped Regina and she tried her best to hide it, not noticing how Snow had come closer. She took her hand and squeezed till Regina met her gaze “Regina, you’re still putting the blame on the wrong person. Daniel didn’t die because of you, he died because of your mother and whatever sick ideas she had. Cora crushed his heart- not you. I know you’re trying to ease my conscience and you have no idea what that means to me, but it doesn’t change the fact that I caused you a lot of pain and I’m ready to stand up to it now.

I might have been a child who didn’t know what Cora was capable of, but I’m not a child anymore. I didn’t realize it before, because I just thought it was the way it was. But now… I’ve never treated you the way you deserved, Regina. I’ve never showed you the respect to give you your own choice. I wanted you, and you had to be there day or night whether you wanted to be or not.

So I’ll happily accept your apology if you can accept mine. “

“Y-You are apologizing to me Snow? To the woman who hunted you for years? Made your life a leaving hell? Just like that?” Regina asked, confused. That girl kept on surprising her.

“Oh I’m not saying any of this is easy. I’m so angry at you and a little part of me does hate you and is horrified by what you did. But another can understand it- not condone it, but understand and is maybe even grateful,” Snow replied quietly.

“Why? Why on earth- or any realm- would you be grateful?” Regina questioned, eyes wide.

“I once listened to a friend of mine ranting about how disgusting it is how people treat other people like possessions because they have the upper hand. I laughed and agreed with her, but I felt sick to my stomach. Because I treated you exactly the same way. I let father hurt you- I let him imprison you- because I couldn’t lose you. I wasn’t _always_ blind to your pain Regina, I just put my own wishes above yours. Because the most important person for me was… me.

You once called me a spoiled selfish brat and you were right. You forced me to face reality- you forced me to see other people’s pain. I would’ve preferred less bloody or violent methods, but you are the reason I’m the person I am today. A person I can be proud of. And as far as ‘putting me through hell’ goes… they call me a hero; stronger and braver than most… who do you think thought me to be all this things? You. You raised me like that. It just took a life as a hunted bandit for me to finally execute what you thought of me.”

I would’ve been a terrible Queen- a terrible leader- if it weren’t for you, Regina. And even though you hurt me more than I thought is humanly possible… I hurt you too and I’m so tired of this.”

“What do you want Snow?” Regina asked, wary. She was ready to take a step towards Snow but she wouldn’t be her pet again. She wouldn’t bow to Queen Snow -she just couldn’t. This was her life, her freedom, and also her kingdom and _nothing_ was worth that; she never would give herself up ever again.

“I want you back, but I want to be better this time. I want you in my life because you want to be in it, not because I force you. I want to take the kingdom back with you by my side because we both know I wouldn’t be good enough yet. I want to see you happy; I want to be there when you finally get the happiness I always hoped you’d find. Congrats on your baby, by the way,” Snow said slowly, reaching for Regina’s belly tears in her eyes.

She was close but she didn’t touch her, waiting patiently for Regina’s permission. Snow had never waited for permission, she had- just like her father- always taken and taken till Regina had nothing left. But not now; now she was trying to do better. So Regina took a deep breath, she had Roland and in a few months this baby and they deserved better.

They deserved better than having the Evil Queen as their mother (they also deserved a better mother than her in general, but that was another topic). They deserved peace and not war. And making peace with Snow was the first step in that direction.

So Regina slowly nodded and Snow’s hand softly touched her belly. It was a light touch- not demanding, not forcing, but tender and careful and for a moment tears gathered in both women’s eyes.

“Alright,” Regina told Snow as soon as their eyes met each other. “Alright?” Snow asked hopeful.

“Let’s try again. I’m tired of fighting and my children deserve better.” Both women knew that in that moment Roland and the baby weren’t the only children Regina was speaking of, but neither commented on it. They had made progress, but there was still too much history between them to define their feelings. Maybe someday they would reach that place, but for now trying to forgive was enough. And the part about the kingdom… that also was a topic for later.

“Regina, babe, are you alright?” Regina startled for a second as Robin’s voice interrupted them, but then a big smile appeared on Snow’s face. “Go. Go to your thief. We’ll talk later, “Snow told her softly, and Regina even managed a small smile.

Robin had been concerned for a moment when he had woken up and found the space next to him empty. He had come close to losing Regina lately a bit too often for his taste. But when he emerged from then tent searching the area for a stunning dark haired beauty, he soon realized that his worries had been unnecessary.

She was standing there; tears in her eyes and Snow’s hand on her belly. He had been concerned for a moment that the princess might’ve overstepped a line, knowing that Regina was very weary and fearful regarding the baby- not to mention that the relationship between his love and the princess was a tiny bit complicated. So to speak.

But then he had seen her smile- the real one, the one which reached her big dark eyes- he had been reassured. He didn’t know what had happened, but it seemed that those two women who had been had war for quite some time were ready to get passed it. Fine by him, even more since he knew how much Regina felt for her step-daughter.

Their feelings for each other were… complicated he knew, but most things regarding Regina were. He had gotten used to it by now only needing to be sure of her love for him and since that was clear he just went with it. And it was worth every bit of it.

“I’m fine, but ready to go home,” Regina replied, smiling brightly at him. She was always beautiful but when she smiled like that she was truly a vison, a goddess, and Robin barely could tear his gaze away from her.

Robin closed the distance between them and pulled her into a soft kiss. He knew she didn’t like public showing of affection; liked to keep it private. But she looked so stunning- almost glowing- that Robin couldn’t resist. And as her cheeks blushed and her eyes lit up he couldn’t say he regretted it even when she gently pushed him away, the smile never fading.

“Well, whatever the Queen wishes. We can break camp after breakfast. I’m sure a little man is more than excited to see his mother again,” Robin told her, more than ready to go home himself.

Wherever home meant in the end. He had already made the decision- had lost the last bit of doubt when he had come close to losing her- that he would go with her wherever she wanted. If that meant a life as royalty so be it. He had been serious with his offer before this little adventure and now he was surer than ever. He would spend his life with the gorgeous woman in front of him no matter what.

“And we need to take care of that damn fairy,” Robin mumbled, already feeling angry again at the thought of what that insect had put his love through. The fairy- a symbol of light magic and love- betraying all she stood for in her hatred of Regina… it made Robin shake his head in disbelief. He would sleep far better when she truly had no bloody way left to hurt Regina or their family.

“How about you and Robin go back to your little boy, and David and I take care of it? We can go to the other fairies and talk with them about what will be the best way to deal with Blue,” Snow offered. exchanging a look with Robin, both wishing nothing more than to keep the fairy as far away from Regina and her unborn child as possible.

“Snow I’m not sure if you and Charming are exactly the right people for that job. I’d like to have somebody who has more competence than a former princess and a former shepherd.” Robin had to chuckle at Regina’s reply. She was quite something, his Regina, but to his delight Snow only smirked. Seems he wasn’t the only one who had grown used to Regina’s sharp tongue.

“David and I are very capable, Your Majesty. In case you haven’t noticed you’ve been hunting us for years unsuccessfully. We might be better at this than Your Highness thinks,” Snow answered looking at Regina and not breaking eye contact, no matter how hard Regina glared at her.

It was a sign of how desperately Regina wanted to leave everything behind her that she agreed “Fine. Do it but try not to get yourself killed in the process. If I slept with my thief who steals covers among other things and your snoring prince for weeks on the hard ground for nothing, I’m gonna be in a very foul mood.”

Robin and Snow only laughed at Regina’s words, and then all made their way to the fireplace to make breakfast. They ate in silence, all of them in their own thoughts, but as soon as Regina had eaten the last spoonful she jumped up, ready to go. Robin obliged happily.

All of them got her things and soon it was time for a temporary goodbye. David pulled both into a hug “I think I’m almost gonna miss your lovely attitude Regina,” which earned him a soft punch from both Robin and Regina before the man who had come to see them both as a friend said softly “Take care of each other. We’ll meet you at the Merry Men’s camp as soon as everything is settled.”

“To talk about what we will do with the kingdom, and whatever comes in our way,” Snow added, throwing a hopeful glance at Regina. Robin knew that she likely would need a bit of time, so it was good that they went their different ways for a bit. They all needed to think about what their future would look like and everybody needed a little space.

There was a moment of hesitation when Snow went to hug Regina after she had said goodbye to Robin, but after a light push from him Regina let Snow hug her and even hugged her back in the end. It was short but Robin knew it meant much more than most people could comprehend.

He was proud of Regina- he told her as soon they were alone and ready for Regina to poof them into the camp of the Merry Men. She answered with a soft whispered ‘Thank you’, giving him that little smile- the one he knew she only gave him when he had truly touched her. Robin pressed a kiss onto her red lips, stroking her cheek and just enjoying the feel of her for a few moments.

“Let’s go home,” Robin said, holding onto her as she waved her hand with a smile and everything was covered in purple smoke. When Robin opened his eyes they were standing in the middle of the camp, his men sitting in front of them looking like they just had seen a ghost.

There was silence for a moment and then John shouted “Bloody hell; look who the cat dragged in,” and with that he ran towards them and pulled both of them into a big bear hug, barely leaving room to breathe.

“John, it’s alright it’s alright. John- we can’t breathe,” Robin choked out and they both took a deep breath when the huge man finally let go of them. “Sorry mate, but we bloody missed you two. You were gone forever we already feared the worst,” John told them while one Merry Man after another jumped up, all of them trying to hug Robin as well as Regina who had to bite back tears at the same time.

Robin still was amazed how much of a part of his Merry Men Regina had become. All of them were equally excited to see her than they were to see him.

“We are alright, we just ran into some complications, but we indeed found the princess,” Robin replied which made the dark haired beauty next to him chuckle. “You need to tell us everything in detail, “George shouted happily, while still having on arm around Regina’s shoulder. Robin had kept a close eye on her- knowing that she had her fair share of troubles with being touched, especially now. But she seemed to revel in the affection the men so clearly showed her.

All of the men had hugged them or patted their shoulder, except Friar Tuck who only stood there his eyes glued on Regina’s hand on her belly. Robin and Tuck’s eyes locked when he finally looked up. Robin could see that his friend knew, so he only smirked making Tuck beam. But the Friar stayed quiet and Robin was grateful for it; he didn’t know if Regina was ready to tell them all about their baby. It was better to keep it a secret for now.

Well it would’ve been better if John didn’t chose exactly this moment to be perceptive and followed Tuck’s gaze to Regina’s belly and then to Robin and put one and one together.

“Bloody hell- are you glowing?” John asked Regina, all joyful and curious. “What?” Regina asked, confused but John had already come to a conclusion “OH bloody hell we are getting another addition to the Merry Men aren’t we? You are pregnant right?”

Robin was now actually worried, knowing Regina’s fears but to his surprise she laughed loudly and to his even bigger surprise she nodded and said “I thought it was time to make sure that there are more smart people than Roland and me. It was getting concerning.”

Robin joined her then in her laughing, relieved that Regina had seemingly made peace with her pregnancy. “Why are you laughing mate, she said you were stupid too,” John smirked but when Robin realized that he was right- too relieved to detect the insult at first- Regina grinned at him and said “I’m sorry dear but you let yourself get beaten by squirrels.”

Robin laughed even more, pressing a soft kiss to her temple and shook his head. He was too bloody happy to reply with a snark comment and he would get his revenge later. Later, when she would beg him to make her come and he would let her know that he was as good at teasing as she was.

All men gave their congratulations- George and Alec (the youngest of the bunch) high-fiving each other everybody, so clearly glad of their happiness it made Robin and Regina almost tear up.

“George get your butt moving and get the little man. He will be so excited to finally see Mommy and Daddy again. And the rest of your lazy bastards get movin’ too; our Queen deserves a welcome home celebration.”

Everybody jumped in all directions to get everything ready, and both Robin and Regina had big smiles on their faces; forgetting everything that happened, and everything that still had to be discussed. They were both just so happy and simply enjoyed being home.

“MAMA!! PAPA!! YOU ARE HOME!!!” Roland yelled, running towards them- jumping into Robin’s arms while pulling Regina towards him. “I missed you sooooo much.”

“We missed you too baby,” Regina told him, tears falling down her cheeks as she pulled her son close to her. All three just stood there in each other’s embrace telling each other how much they loved each other.

“Did you save the princess?” Roland asked, and beamed with pride when they nodded “I knew it! You are the biggest, nicest, bravest heroes,” Robin had to squeeze Regina’s hand who was obviously very touched, being called a brave hero by their son.

When Roland had come down a bit Robin threw a questioning glance at Regina which clearly meant “ _Do we tell him about the baby_?” Regina nodded softly smiling, and Robin then put his son down. “Roland my boy we need to tell you something.” “What is it Papa? You are not leaving again are you?” Tears were already gathering in the young boys eyes.

“No, baby, we aren’t. We never going to leave you again,” Regina told him, stroking his cheek. Robin put his son into his lap and told him “Your mother is right. We’ll stay together as a family, but this family will get a new member. My boy you are going to have a little brother or sister.”

Roland’s eyes widened at his words and he shouted “Really? When, Papa, when?” Robin laughed, relieved. He knew his boy was a loving creature, but also a very spoiled only child. That he was so excited to become a sibling made Robin happier then he could put into words.

“Well Roland, give me your hand,” Regina told him and when the boy did she led it to her belly “The baby is so small that it first has to grow in Mommy’s belly till it is big enough.” Roland’s eyes grew even bigger when he asked “So my little brother and sister is in your belly? Really?”

“Yes really, Roland,” Robin chuckled. Roland became silent, frowning thoughtfully. “But Papa how did the baby get into Mama’s belly?”

Now it was for Robin and Regina’s eyes to go wide as they both looked at each- other lost at words. How the bloody hell do you explain that to a five year old? Robin started with a “Well, my boy, also ahm you know ….” Robin had truly no clue what to say and it seemed Regina –who had to bite her lip to keep from burst into laughter- had none either.

“Hey Roland, do you care to help me with the cake?” Tuck called and as soon Roland heard the word cake he kissed both his parents cheeks and ran off, already forgetting what he had asked.

“You are welcome,” Tuck told Robin and Regina, smirking as he ran off with the lad. “We owe him big time,” Regina chuckled. “Yes we do,” Robin muttered, kissing her softly.

Both of them then got up when George told them the food was ready. They walked over, hand in hand, smiling and being content with the world. The party was a great success; everybody beyond happy for the safe return and the baby news. The hours passed by with laughter and stories about the rescue mission all troubles of the future forgotten for a moment. Robin and Regina exchanged more than one loving look and soft kiss, Robin’s hand always finding its way to her belly, finally having time to enjoy the beauty his life had become.

So happy so grateful so… Robin startled as a loud scream teared through the camp, all men jumping up in an instant, most of them stepping protectively before Regina and Roland. But Regina, of course, was no damsel in distress; she followed Robin with a fireball in her hand as he walked in the direction the scream had come from.

They were a team and even if it terrified him, he was proud that he loved such a brave and strong woman. It didn’t take long for them to find the source of the tumult and as soon as they saw it everybody gasped in horror.

Snow and David were standing in front of them, covered in blood. Blood that at a second look belonged to the blonde woman both of them were holding on to. The princess and prince were unharmed, but pale eyes wide in fear glued to the shivering woman in front of them.

Maleficent

The fierce woman Robin had met was now pale and whimpering in pain. Something- or somebody- had ripped open her body, there was so much blood it was a miracle that the dragon was still alive.

“Mal,” Regina shouted fearfully, dropping to the ground next to her friend. God- there was so much blood, the blond woman clearly was fighting for every breath.

“Mal what happened?” Regina yelled, pulling the dying woman into her lap. “Snow, Charming, what is going on?” Regina almost screamed at them when her friend wouldn’t answer. “We don’t know Regina. She just appeared like this at our camp saying she needed to see you. And here we are,” Snow replied, eyes wide.

“T-That damn f-fairy.” Mal choked out, angrily. “ _Blue_ did this to you? Why? How did she get out?” Regina asked, confused, holding onto her dear friend desperately.

“L-Listen l-little-one. She t-took the curse I-I tried to stop her but…,” Mal said squeezing Regina’s hand.

“Curse? What curse? Come on Mal stay with me. Don’t you dare leave me now.” Regina begged. “T-The Dark Curse R-Regina. S-She wants t-to destroy you and e-everyone on y-your side no matter the consequences,” Maleficent told, her growing paler by the second

“Y-You need to stop her little one. Y-You are stronger than her. I-I’m so proud of you,” Maleficent said, her blue eyes finding Regina’s dark ones. Blue eyes that were so full of pain but also love and pride.

Love and pride the dragon felt for the woman in front of her. The woman who finally was ready to overcome darkness- to be happy again- and damn was Maleficent proud.

“Mal don’t you dare leave me now. I need you,” Regina said, tears already falling.

“Fight and win for me l-ittle one,” Mal whispered and then with one last sound her eyes closed and her heart stopped beating.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey peeps! I know it's been some while but law school was...well studying 24/7. So hope you gonna enjoy this chapter. Thank you for all your kind reviews I love them (aka please review agian 3) We're getting very close to the end and i'm gonna tell you I'm gonna miss this story
> 
> A Special thank you to Abi for taking a look at it!
> 
> PS: I have a new story if you have time check out Count to Ten- OQ Crime AU. Thank you! If you wanna talk to me Twitter (OnceUponAHappy) or Tumblr (onceuponahappytime)

“No Maleficent please don’t leave please,” Regina begged the older woman clutching the body to her own knowing that that it was too late all the same. Her wishes not answered (They never have been). Tears were now streaming down her face, the pain of loss suffocating her.

She felt Robin’s hand on her shoulder squeezing soothingly but it wasn’t much help against the raw and powerful grief she was feeling as she looked down at her dead friend.

The dragon had shown her what care meant, that touches could be soothing too, that there was such a thing as friendship and loyalty. And now she was dead because that _damn moth_ wanted to destroy Regina.

Dead because of her

Always her.

_I destroy everything I touch,_ her own words were ringing in her ears as she once again faced the truth of them. She felt anger flowing through her; burning hot anger- she would crush that fairy like the bug she was. She would make her hurt, like Mal was hurt. Like she was hurt. She would…

“Stop whining and save her,” a sharp voice behind Regina startled her. She could feel Robin’s hand on her shoulder tighten its grip as she turned around to face the source of the voice

The source being her old mentor leaning against the tree studying her thoughtfully.

“She is dead you stupid imp. Nothing can bring back the dead; you yourself taught me that,” Regina hissed, stroking Mal’s long blond hair trying to suppress another sob.

“She hasn’t crossed over yet. She is indeed too far gone for me or anyone else to bring her back. But not for you; not with the magic inside you. I once told you were powerful, but back then I had no idea just how much power you truly are capable of wielding. Pull your pathetic self together and get her back dearie.”

“How?” Regina asked, eyes wide and confused, fighting the hope she began to feel. Hope was and always will be dangerous.

“Focus, dearie. Focus on pulling her from the edge; on getting her back. Magic is emotion- let yourself feel it. And then control it, don’t let the magic control you. Now, Your Majesty, or it will be too late,” the Dark One hissed never breaking eye contact.

Regina knew trusting Rumpelstiltskin never served her well before, but she owed her friend to try and when she turned her attention back to the blonde woman in front of her she could hear Robin whispered in her ear “You don’t have to trust the bloody imp, milady. Trust yourself. You saved Snow, you saved me. You can do this.”

Regina moved next to Maleficent, took a deep breath and held her hands over her blonde friend and just _felt_.

_Protect Regina. Love Regina. Be brave Regina._

She kept up the same mantra over and over again. She could suddenly feel it- the raw power coming from her. White and golden, intense but still soft, breathtaking but soothing, and Regina suddenly could feel something else too-Maleficent. It was like she was holding her in her arms even though the woman was still lying to next to Regina. She kept pulling and pulling, could feel Mal pull away from her but Regina kept fighting, fighting hard and harder to focus the magic. To save. To heal. To do good.

To be good.

Regina was sure she had never used that much magic before; was sure that she probably had never seen so much raw power, far more than she had used with Robin and Snow. And she could feel herself getting tired- could feel the strength leaving her. But a Mills does not give up; never.

So she kept going even though the magic had now become more painful than thrilling, her hands were shaking, her entire body was shaking and far away she could hear Robin begging her to stop. Maleficent had been further gone than all of them, but Regina kept pulling- kept dragging her friend away from the edge slowly draining herself of all energy she had left.

Years of hard training and pain had made Regina well aware of the fact that she was slowly reaching her limit; that if she kept fighting Maleficent’s life wouldn’t be the only one in danger, but she couldn’t stop.

Because Regina had never learnt how to stop fighting.

Robin was terrified- truly and utterly terrified. He knew Regina was strong, incredibly so, but watching her get more and more pale, her whole body shaking, Robin was scared out of his mind. He could see that Regina had reached her limit but kept pushing. Like always, his dark haired beauty didn’t back down and it was bloody killing her.

He begged her to stop, knowing that she would only do it when her own exhaustion forced her to, not caring the damage she inflicted on herself (her own safety still only mattered as long the baby was in danger) but right now the love of his life was trying to bring a person back from the dead. And that was just bloody crazy. He encouraged her, always having faith in her, but this was getting out of hand and she needed to stop.

“Regina love, please stop, you need to stop. She’s gone, we are too late, please Regina stop,” Robin pleaded over and over again but she wouldn’t listen. She never listened, never stopped, never slowed down.

She was close to passing out he could tell that much; the magic around them was so strong now you could actually feel it. It was like the entire air was charged; waves and waves of energy pulsing from her. If Robin wasn’t so damn scared he would be amazed

And then, when Robin thought that the strength had finally left Regina, Maleficent’s eyes popped open.

Regina could feel the magic ripping through her, trying to grab her blonde friend, trying and trying to pull her back and when Regina could barely keep her eyes open she finally felt Mal coming back. The presence of the other woman felt stronger and stronger and stronger until her eyes opened and blue confused one met worried dark ones.

Both women starred at each other for a moment, before Regina just let herself fall on top of Maleficent, both sobbing into each other’s arms.

“Impressive dearie, impressive indeed,” the Dark One mumbled, not taking his eyes from his best student.

“Did you really just bring me back, little one? That is rather showy don’t you think?” Mal asked, kissing Regina’s temple softly and exchanging a worried look with Robin at the same time. Sure, she had been the one close to death, but concern for the younger woman was stronger… for both the archer and the dragon.

“Seems like it. Don’t fucking do that again,” Regina cried, pushing herself closer to her friend while Robin was rubbing up and down her back soothingly, calming her down.

“I won’t Regina. I’m fine. But you won’t be if that fucking fairy gets her way,” Mal replied, already trying to get up only to be softly pushed back by Robin who looked at both them with great concern.

“Regina…,”Robin whispered and Regina felt tears gathering in her eyes at this scared tone. She knew she almost went too far. She needed to hear Mal’s heartbeat, but that hadn’t been the only reason why she let herself fall… she couldn’t keep herself up anymore.

“I’m fine Robin. We are fine I promise,” Regina told him, searching for his hand and linking their fingers.

“Regina did you just bring her back from the dead? Like seriously, back from the dead?” Charming asked, staring at the woman on the ground. “I wasn’t actually dead, shepherd, just very close to it. Nothing can bring back the dead. Even so, little one, my point stands… you are far more powerful than anyone I’ve ever met.”

All of them stayed silent for a moment, trying to comprehend what just happened, which then was interrupted by the Dark One who pretended to be unaffected by all this “I really hate to interrupt this oh-so-sweet moment, but there is a dear fairy who is about to curse all of us. So you might keep your sentimentalism to yourselves till we take care of rather more serious business.”

“I don’t understand, Rumpelstiltskin. You wanted me to cast your curse so badly. Trained me, shaped me for years and now you want it prevented. Why?” Regina asked, confused. She had realized more and more in the last weeks how much of a pawn she had been for her mentor. A means to an end. An end that had seemingly changed.

“Well dearie I had my reasons for the curse to be cast. But what I want I can get now without it. Your magic will make it possible. And the deal I struck with your thief will force you to use your power to help me get what I want. The curse now only stands in my way.” Rumple replied, grinning. Regina threw an angry glare at the damn imp. Robin had told her how they found her and Snow, had told her about Rumple’s conditions and how much he hated to bring the imp back into her life. But he had never really left, had he?

Regina suddenly had a thought (which was rather impressive, since she was close to losing consciousness) “Who does Blue love?”

“What?” Robin and the Charming’s all asked, looking confused between Rumple and Regina. “You need to crush the heart of the person you love most to cast the curse,” Regina explained, trying desperately to keep her eyes open but she felt a boneless exhaustion threating to drag her down at any moment.

“You have to indeed. Which will be another reason for you to do everything to prevent this from happening dearie. And it might answer your questions regarding why Blue hates your dear mother so much,” the Dark One said, accompanied by his mad giggling.

“Why? Who does Blue love?” Regina repeated, annoyed.

“Your father,” Rumple explained, now laughing happily at this clearly disturbing answer.

“What?” Regina asked sharply, trying to get up but just as with Maleficent Robin softly pushed her down again, squeezing her hand. “Yes, yes our fairy fell in love with dear Prince Henry years ago. With him and the prospect of being royalty. Don’t ask me which was more important to her, but either way your mother took all from her. Cora became Henry’s wife, she became royalty and she became powerful. Everything Blue ever wanted.”

Regina’s jaw dropped at the news. Her father and Blue?

“D-Did he love her too?” Regina asked, while pushing herself up again, ignoring Robin’s attempt to keep her down with one angry glare and held out her hand for him to pull her up. With a sigh he complied carefully helping her stand up.

She leant towards him, admittedly it was more like she was held up by him, feeling dizzy and weak, but they both pretended not to notice that. Well, Robin did it without hiding his concerned frown but Regina didn’t have time to assure him again that she was fine (she wasn’t, but she sure as hell wouldn’t tell him that) as long her father might be in danger.

“I do believe he was rather fond of her too. Did he love her too? You’ll have to ask your father that yourself,” Rumple replied dryly.

“So if I did understand this all correctly the blue fairy needs to crush your father’s heart to enact the curse. Which means his life is in grave danger. Does that sound about right?” Robin asked, tightening his hold on Regina while trying to figure all this magic stuff out.

He had a strong desire to punch something. That damn fairy would do nicely. Things had just gotten calmer. Regina had been smiling, was safe and sound, and now another threat was thrown their way. Robin was well aware how much Regina loved her father and that his death would be devastating for her. Not to mention what this bloody fairy would do with that damn curse.

He had vowed to be at Regina’s side no matter what, so of course he would tag along trying to ignore the fear that was suffocating him. Fear of losing the pale and shaking woman in his arms who was too stubborn to back down from any fight. To lose her and his family to whatever Blue planned- fear of not being able to protect them.

And at the end of the day he probably was most afraid that he wouldn’t be able to protect Regina from herself. He had seen anger and grief in her eyes as the dragon was dying- all understandable feelings, but he had also seen so much self-loathing so much disgust with herself. Had seen it before, had seen her own lacking regard for herself, had seen her look death in the face and smile at him.

He was afraid, so damn afraid, but he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Regina needed a rock now, somebody to keep her grounded while they were probably headed to one of the biggest wars in their lives. And all of them had their fair share of fights.

“I need to leave immediately. She could have already reached Daddy at my castle, he is defenseless, he…he,” Regina tried to fight her way out of Robin’s arms but this was the last straw for her battered body and her eyes just rolled to the back of her head as she collapsed in Robin’s arms.

“Regina my love, come on, open your eyes,” Robin begged as he gently let her down, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Snow and Maleficent were at her side faster than he could throw a questioning (and pleading) look at the imp, hoping he would know if Regina’s collapse was simple exhaustion or something worse.

“Is she…?” Robin trailed off his fingers finding her pulse sighing in relief as he felt the strong pulsing. He pulled her into his lap, making sure she was as comfortable as possible in her current state

“She is alright, thief, don’t worry. The amount of magic she used was immense, and by less stronger human being’s I might advise you to be concerned but Regina will be fine.” With that he waved his hand over her before Robin could stop him and a soft purple glow appeared.

“She’ll wake up in a few minutes,” Rumpelstiltskin muttered and for a moment, just a second, Robin was sure he detected some actual concern for his former student in the Dark’ One’s eyes. But it was gone as fast as it appeared.

“So what do we do now?” David asked, one hand on Snow’s shoulder, his eyes never leaving Regina, an equally worried frown on his face. “We wait till Regina is conscious again and then we are going… home. Henry will be at Regina’s castle, meaning Blue will be there too. And then we defeat her forever this time.”

Robin, who was still softly stroking Regina’s cheek threw a thoughtful glance at the princess. He could hear anger and hatred in Snow’s voice as both of them looked down at the unconscious woman. They both loved Regina dearly and both of them were sick and tired of getting close to losing her.

“You are not talking about killing her are you Snow?” David asked his fiancée, concerned. “We’ll do whatever is necessary to protect Regina,” was all Snow replied, stroking softly through her step-mothers dark curls. David seemed to be shocked at what Snow was willing to do, till Regina moaned in pain her eyes still closed. He inhaled sharply when he turned his attention to Robin “Snow’s right. We’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”

“Well, well, I guess that means it’s time to roast a fairy,” Mal said, grinning, not able to hide her fear for her old friend completely. “Oh no Maleficent, you are not going to roast anybody. You look like death walking. You’re gonna stay here and rest,” Robin told her, shaking his head.

“But she…” before the dragon could end her sentence Robin interrupted her “Maleficent I know you want to protect her, believe me I know, but you aren’t in any condition to do so. You would be more in the way than helpful. Stay here and make sure the boy Regina calls her son stays safe from this bloody crazy bitch.”

Maleficent glared at him for a moment but then seemingly came to the conclusion that he might have a point and slowly nodded. “Fine thief, I’ll stay here. But if something happens to her- I’ll have you-,”

“- for breakfast. I know Maleficent, I know and I won’t let anything happen to her. I’ll protect her with my life if necessary,” Robin answered, holding the dragon’s gaze, not breaking eye contact till she did. Which seemed to satisfy her as she nodded again.

“Speaking of protecting our dear Queen, here outlaw,” Rumpelstiltskin spoke up, his eyes finding Robin’s. “If you fail and Blue crushes Henry’s heart… Regina will try to save him but she can’t. If you crush someone’s heart you can’t pull him back from the edge. If she does try, she will die. You’ll need to stop her, do you understand me thief?”

Robin again didn’t look down and held the eye contact as he nodded “I understand.” Robin knew preventing Regina from saving her father at the cost of her own life would be hard, but it had to be done, he knew that as well.

All five of them stayed silent for a moment, gazing down worried at the still unconscious woman, fear in all their eyes. Even if the imp would never admit to it.

“Mhh,” Regina softly moaned again, slowly coming to. Pain, burning pain, rushed through her body and her eyes were heavy. Opening them seemed impossible and she would like to do nothing more than to sink back into the darkness and sleep. She probably be able to sleep for days, her entire body aching. She felt dizzy and her mouth was dry. Everything was hazy and she knew there had been something. Something bad had happened before she passed out, but she couldn’t quite grasp it.

She slowly realized that her head was lying on something soft and that somebody was stroking her tenderly. She wasn’t alone and she wasn’t in her bed. Regina tried to remember- tried to think back- but all it did was give her a severe headache. As she tried to move she felt a hand pushing her back, the touch gentle and soothing.

Robin was about to lose a hand. Among other things. A deep and low voice accompanied the caring touches telling her to take it easy. Now she was sure it was her thief so Regina relaxed visibly.

And then the memories crushed down on her.

Dark Curse. Daddy. Blue.

Regina’s eyes popped open and she pushed herself up, only prevented from falling down by Robin’s strong arms. “Easy milady, easy. Take a deep breath,” Robin told her, kissing her temple softly. “I don’t have time for breathing exercises; that fucking fairy is about to murder my father so shut up and help me up,” Regina hissed, feeling a bit guilty when she saw Robin raising his eyebrows at her sharp tone. But he did as asked and carefully helped her up, pulling her close to him.

“Are you alright Regina?” Charming questioned her, only earning an eye role and a “I’m fine” from her as she was already getting ready to poof them to her castle. “What are you waiting for? Get your things! We’re running out of time!” Regina almost yelled as nobody had moved yet.

“Are you sure you’re up to it love?” Robin asked carefully, taking her hand into his. “Yes I’ve already said I’m fine, but I’m not going to be if that bitch hurts Daddy. We. leave. now,” Regina’s words had a finality to them, so nobody dared to say something against it.

Well nobody besides Snow White.

“But we don’t have any plan at all Regina,” Snow tried to reason, only to be shut up by another look from Regina. “We don’t have time to make a nice and pretty plan unless you’d enjoy watching Blue crushing my father’s heart,” Regina hissed, making Snow take a step back. But the princess stayed silent, only watching Regina thoughtfully.

“Is she strong enough for teleportation?” Maleficent asked Rumple, ignoring Regina’s angry glare. “If you pass out in the in between you’ll help nobody,” she added then, rolling her blue eyes in a way that would make Regina proud if she wasn’t so annoyed.

“She’ll be fine. But I’d hurry if I were you. There will be a protection spell around the castle to keep you out, but it shouldn’t be a big deal for you dearie,” the Dark One replied. “You won’t be joining us?” Snow asked, eying him suspiciously.

“My magic isn’t made to break through the protection spell. Regina’s is. I won’t be able to entre. You’re on your own. Don’t screw it up. See you all later. Maybe,” with that Regina’s old mentor disappeared in a cloud of smoke leaving it to them to save the Enchanted Forest. Taking the easy way out as usual, Regina thought with an annoyed sigh.

“Alright you heard the imp, we’re running out of time,” with that Regina took Robin’s hand throwing another glance at the Charming’s, awaiting their nod and as soon as she got it she exchanged a brief look with her blonde friend who told her “I’ll keep your boy safe. Go to your father and give Blue my greetings”

With one last glance Regina waved her hand and all four disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke, only to reappear seconds later in Regina’s castle- her chambers, to be more specific.

Robin truly and fully hated poofing, so much he knew by now. He was sure half of his organs were still at the camp as he tried to get control over the nausea he was feeling. He would probably never get used to it (even if Regina claimed he would) always preferring going by foot or horse. He slowly took in his surroundings, remembering briefly the last time he had been here. The last time when his boy had been sick, where Regina had run away, where he had been so happy that he feared he would burst any moment.

A happiness that damn fairy was about to take away. It had been some time since the last time Robin had the urge to kill, to take a life, but with Blue… she had hurt the woman he loved so deeply- was about to increase the pain for something that hadn’t even been Regina’s fault in the first place. And she was ready to take down innocents. He might still not understand too much about magic, but he was well aware what the Dark Curse built by the blue bitch’s wishes would do, and it wasn’t a place where he would let his family be transported to. He would simply not allow it.

Regina’s chamber was dark; you almost could feel the years of pain and hopelessness lingering, making Robin shiver. His eyes found said woman standing straight ahead, eyes scanning her room. She was tense and still hadn’t regained all of her strength but her posture was that of a Queen. A very pissed off Queen.

His gaze wandered to where Regina was staring. An older man was standing next to a dressing table, his face pale and his hands shaking. Which wasn’t surprising considering next to him was the bloody fairy holding something red glowing in her hands. His heart, Robin realized with a frown. He could feel Regina tense up even more next to him, desperately trying not to lose composure. Robin didn’t know too much about Regina’s father, only what she had told him days ago:

_“What about your father? “ Robin asked her kissing her forehead softly, his hand resting peacefully on her belly. They were lying in their tent, the sun was slowly sinking after a long day trying to find Snow White. “What about him?” Regina questioned, pillowing her head on his chest close to his heart. She always did that; always trying to get close to his heartbeat, reassuring herself that he was fine, Robin knew._

_“We talked about your mother but not about him. What kind of person was he? Is he still with us?” Robin explained, pressing a kiss on her hairline. “Yes he is, he lives at my castle. Has been since I became Queen,” Regina replied silently. “He isn’t like my mother, you know. He is a good man who loves me very much and whom I love in return with all my heart.”_

_Robin stayed silent for a moment, thinking about her words. He had been rather sure Regina’s father would be dead. How could he not? Regina’s fall into darkness, her spiralling down, hadn’t happen overnight- it had happen over years. Something her father surely would’ve put a stop to. But this clearly didn’t happen._

_“What are you thinking, Robin?” Regina’s soft almost sleepy voice ripped Robin out of this thoughts and made him debate if he should voice his thoughts or not. He always had been honest with her even when the truth had been ugly but this time he hesitated. She had spoken so lovingly of her father, her eyes lighting up and Robin didn’t really want to take this away. Sill the thought remained…_

_“Robin?” Regina asked nervously, making Robin realize he still hadn’t replied. “Nothing, milady I was just surprised that you and your father are so…close.” “Why would you be surprised? Because of my mother or because of me?” Robin could detect hurt in her voice as well as confusion. “No my love, no. Because of your mother and certainly not because of you. I was just wondering… in all the stories you told me about what happened to you growing up or what happened after you became Queen… he’s never a part of it.”_

_“That’s because he never hurt me. He was a good man” Regina answered pushing herself up to look at Robin. “Was he?” Robin asked cautiously._

_“Yes he was. I-I don’t know why you’re asking me this?” Robin softly tucked a strand of her silky hair behind her ear, trying to buy time. He sighed and told her “Because Regina, I’m a father too. I’m a father and if you or Marian ever raised a hand against my boy I would stop it. If my boy ever gets forced to marry someone, I’ll step in. If my son ever loses himself to darkness I’ll try to pull him up. Did you father ever do any of this?”_

_“Did he ever protect you from your mother? Did he try to stop you from becoming the Evil Queen? Did he try? Did he…” Robin couldn’t end his sentence because Regina interrupted him sharply “Robin, stop please. H-He tried I’m sure he did he was just…”_

_“He was just what, Regina?” Robin asked her wiping away a tear which was running down her cheek. He didn’t mean to upset her but he was trying to understand her. Trying to piece together the pieces of how Regina became the Evil Queen. How the good and strong and loving girl who risked her life for a stranger could become so dark. How the sweet and caring woman he was holding in his arms was also capable of cruel and horrifying acts._

_And to understand that, for him to help her deal with who she was and who she wants to be, he needed to know more about the people who matter to her. What kind of impact they had on her life._

_“He did try Robin, he really did, but he was just never a strong man. Mother could be… well mother and he just didn’t know how. I guess you’re right Robin, he never stood up for me in a way you would. But he loves me and always showed me that I mean the world to him. He might not’ve stopped me from becoming her, but he did stood by my side; he did dry my tears and held me after one nightmare after the other. I know people probably wouldn’t consider this enough, but for me Robin it was everything. He loves me without wanting anything in return- without trying to change me into something that I’m not._

_“And I love him for that,” Regina whispered, avoiding Robin’s gaze. He tipped her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “I can understand that and I’m very grateful that he showed you the love you deserve. I just also want you to understand that he did make a mistake. And that’s okay to recognize it as such and still love him.”_

_Regina’s dark eyes and his blue ones locked as he continued stroking her cheek. She nodded and whispered “Daddy will be so thrilled to meet you,” looking up at him so hopefully. “I’m also looking forward to meet him,” Robin told her, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her nose. “Will you give him a chance?” Regina asked almost shyly. “He is just a human being, he makes mistakes Regina. Mistakes I’ll hope he won’t repeat in the future but you love each other so I’ll give him a fair shot, I promise,” with that Robin pressed a kiss onto her red soft lips, a gentle and tender one making her smile as they parted._

_A smile that didn’t leave her face as she fell asleep_

Regina tried to calm her racing heart, starring at the fairy in front of her; the fairy who was now holding her father’s heart. The organ was glowing brightly only a very few spots black. Fragile and so easy to crush. Blue was standing in the position Regina had been in countless times in the past few years and she saw something in the fairy’s eyes which made a cold shiver run down her back.

There was hatred; blank hatred. A look Regina knew all too well.

“Regina?” Her father’s voice startled her, his eyes finding hers. Eyes full of fear and concern but also love. She wouldn’t lose her father- she just couldn’t

“My my, what do we have here. Coming home to enjoy the show Your Majesty?” Blue asked smirking. “Give me his heart or I swear I’ll rip you apart, moth. I’ll take you piece by piece till you beg for death,” Regina hissed, eyes hard and cold a fireball appearing in her hand. She knew that she looked intimidating, knew what kind of effect she had on people. What kind of effect when _she_ came to the surface.

As hard as she tried to bury the Evil Queen, right now in this moment she needed her. Needed her strength- needed her coldness- because there was only one way out of this. Blue had to die.

“I’d be careful with this, Your Majesty. One squeeze of my hand and your father will be as dead as many of your subjects,” Blue told her, still smiling. And to add to her threat she softly squeezed his heart, making Henry moan in pain.

“Daddy!” Regina let her fireball disappear, feeling fear creep up in her. “I’m fine Regina, I’m fine,” her father choked out, trying to smile at her but failing miserably at it. “Blue, think about what you are doing,” Snow tried to reason with her old friend. “This is not really you. You are a fairy; you stand for everything that is good,” Snow added, eyes wide.

Blue only laughed. “I’m doing good here Snow. If I cast this curse I’ll make sure everybody goes to a nice and safe place. Safe from the Evil Queen; and I’ll make sure she pays for what she did.”

“We won’t let you close to her, fairy. You are saying you’re doing this in the name of good but that’s bullshit. Stop lying to yourself,” Robin hissed, standing protectively in front of Regina. Despite the situation it made Regina smile for a second. They were facing something far stronger than one person yet still Robin is trying to keep her safe, knowing that he won’t stand a chance against magic. In Snow’s eyes is the same fire- a protectiveness towards Regina the Queen will likely never be able to understand.

But it doesn’t change the fact that no matter how hard they try to protect her, this is something between Blue and Regina. It was their fight. It was something Regina understood.

“Robin-,” Regina started but Robin looked at her and she knew what he knew what she was about to do. “Regina I can’t let you do this.”

“Then it’s a good thing you don’t have a say in the matter,” she told him, stroking his cheek softly. She knew he would protect her, had always done it. But he couldn’t; not now.

Before Regina could wave her hand to make sure her family wouldn’t interfere Blue froze Robin, Snow and Charming on the spot. Regina looked at them and their shocked faces, but it was for the best .

She knew what she had to do next and she was well aware of the fact that they would’ve stopped her. She knew what she would tell the fairy but she didn’t think it would reach the woman in front of her. She recognized blind hatred bordering on madness when she saw it. Had seen it many times when she looked in the mirror.

“Robin is right. I justified everything I did in the name of vengeances. In Daniel’s name I killed. I tortured. I became a monster. The monster you’re trying to protect everyone from. The only problem is Blue… you are close to become one yourself.”

“You’re right I do deserve to suffer; I do deserve whatever fate you have planned for me. I do. They don’t. This curse will affect the entire population of the Enchanted Forest and don’t fool yourself dear. This is dark magic- very dark magic. You’ll be building a new world on the blood of innocents. This isn’t an act of heroism, it’s an act of selfishness and hatred. I’d know it; I was at the exact same spot you are right now.”

“You think by killing my father and punishing me you’ll feel less pain but that won’t happen. Because making others suffer won’t make my father not reject you. It won’t unmake Cora take what was yours. It will only leave a void in your heart- a void you’ll never be able to fill.”

“It took me a long time to realize that, a lot of pain and sleepless nights. A lot of bloodshed and war but I finally understand. Vengeance hurts _you_ most in the end. You are about to destroy yourself. I learnt that to live my life I need to forgive. I need to be better. “

“My father’s death won’t take the pain away. My suffering won’t take the pain away. Just like Snow’s death would’ve never taken my pain away. I understand that now. And I need you to understand that too.”

Regina knew before Blue opened her mouth that her little speech wasn’t received well.

“So you are standing here after years of splashing the blood of innocents hunting down a girl, and you have the audacity to lecture me on forgiveness? You dare to talk to me about me turning into a monster?”

“This goes far above Henry choosing that whore over me. He was just weak; you and Cora on the other hand… you’re rotten to the core. A danger to everyone because you might claim to understand, but you never really will. You are selfish and hungry for power. You will stop at nothing to get what you want and I will stop you; I will destroy you before you destroy me.”

Regina knew she wasn’t getting through to her and likely never would, so she did the only thing she had left. She offered herself. And hoped her family would forgive her for it someday. Hoped her child would forgive her for it someday.

“Then kill me Blue. Or torture me. End me. This is between you and me. Take my life and do with it whatever you want. But leave the others out of it. Killing the Evil Queen; you’d be a hero taking away what my father and mother loved most.”

Blue chuckled “Oh yes I’d be a hero for sure, but the thing is Your Majesty, I’m not stupid. I want you to suffer but not to die, not anymore. You don’t fear death but you very well fear living. I will take everything from you piece by piece and enjoy watching you falling apart. I’ll bring you to the edge- making you beg for death. And then keep you alive a little bit longer. This curse will give me the opportunity to do so. I’m well aware of how powerful you are. The curse will change that.”

And with that Blue started to squeeze the heart. Henry fell to the ground and Regina- ready to fight- took a step closer when she suddenly couldn’t move. A red circle appearing around her. An entrapment spell and she had walked right into it.

“Daddy!” Regina screamed in fear. “If you fucking touch him I’ll rip your throat out I will cut you into pieces I’ll”…Regina kept threating the fairy but Blue only applied more pressure. “You can quieten your death threats, Your Majesty, I’ve won. And I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this. So Henry, say goodbye to your daughter.”

“I’m so proud of you Regina. You fought the darkness you let love back in your life. Don’t stop fighting. I love you mi cielo,” Henry choked out, trying to smile at his daughter, his little girl. He had been so afraid for- her still was- but he knew now that she wasn’t alone. And that she understood what he had been trying to tell her for years. The importance of forgiveness- of loving again of not letting hatred and anger control her.

He had failed her in so many ways and now seeing the pain and guilt in his daughter’s eyes it crushed him more than the physical pain he was feeling. “Mi Cielo this is my fault; mine and your mothers, not yours. I’m so sorry Regina I’m so sorry. This is on me, you did well my little girl, you did so well.”

Trying to ease her guilt- trying one last time to protect her, making sure his last moments were spent telling his daughter how proud of her he was and how all of this wasn’t her fault it was his.

“You are a fairy you are supposed to protect and help. YOU ARE A DAMN FAIRY SO PLEASE BLUE PLEASE STOP PLEASE,” Regina yelled, tears now streaming down her face. “I’ll do whatever you want but please stop, let him go. Take me instead please let him go, please,” and Regina begged. It ripped her apart- a Queen doesn’t beg- but this was her father and she would do everything necessary to save him.

Just that sometimes even everything wasn’t enough

“No,” was all Blue said as she with a smirk crushed Henry’s heart. Regina’s father screamed for a moment and then there was a heavy silence as his body crushed to the ground. “No Daddy, Daddy!”

But there was no answer this time. The ash of her father’s heart was in Blue’s hand; who was still smirking at her “The curse will enact its full force by sundown, Your Majesty. I would use your time left wisely. Life after won’t be too pleasant for you.”

And with that Blue disappeared with her father’s ashes. The entrapment spells stopped working and Regina ran towards her father, falling onto the floor hands already over him. She would get him back no matter the costs

Robin knew she would try to get him back no matter the cost. And he would have to stop her stop her to save her.

“Regina don’t- you can’t safe him it’s too late,” Robin shouted already running towards her. Regina’s hands were already glowing, the magic coming from her again in waves. Robin knew the energy would kill her. But like before she wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t stop keep repeating the same words over and over again.

_Love Regina. Protect Regina. Be brave Regina_

Robin could see her getting worse and worse by the second and he knew she might hate him for it for the rest of her life but he wouldn’t let her die; wouldn’t let her be taken away from him or their family. Knowing that that was the last thing Henry would’ve wanted.

So Robin put his arms around her, holding her tight, and pulled her away. It was more than a bit exhausting and the energy around them soon started to burn, but he didn’t stop- he kept pulling and pulling till the connection was interrupted and Regina was forced to stop.

“Let go of me damnit Robin I need to save him! I need to help him!” Regina screamed, fighting against his hold with all the strength she had. Which was an impressive amount for such a tiny thin woman.

But Robin didn’t let go, he just put more and more distance between them and the body of Regina’s father. She was so upset that she hadn’t thought about using magic to free herself.

“Regina he’s gone, you can’t do anything. Please milady- stop it please,” Robin tried to get through to her but she kept struggling. “I can s-save him Robin, I can d-do it. I-I can be a g-good girl,” Regina was sobbing now but still pushing her tiny hands against his strong arms.

Then suddenly she seemed to remember that she was actually a witch and with a wave of her hand she poofed herself out of Robin’s arms back to her father, already holding her hands over him again.

“Damnit woman,” Robin hissed, going after her. And again he just grabbed he,r pushing her against the next wall. Regina was too surprised to react at first but when she got close to poofing herself away again Robin cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him.

“Regina listen. You can’t save your father, he’s gone. You’ll die if you keep trying. Do you understand me milady? You will die.”

“I have to get to h-him Robin I c-can do it. L-Let me go or I’ll n-never forgive y-you for it,” Regina hissed, but there was no bite, not when her dark eyes were so full of tears- so full of heart wrenching pain.

“I vowed to protect you Regina and I will do so. If you hate me for it so be it. I love you and if you detesting me is the price for your life I’ll happily pay it,” Robin replied, their eyes locking, both pleading with the other.

“Your father’s last words were how much he loves you and how proud he is of you. Honour those words Regina; honour them by staying alive and being there for your family. You have two children who need you alive, you have Snow and Charming who need you, you have a kingdom who needs you. I need you Regina. Please stop,” Robin pleaded again, pressing his forehead against Regina’s.

“But what if I-i can s-save him Robin? What i-if I can be g-good?” God it always crushed Robin’s heart how young and vulnerable Regina could sound sometimes. Those big whiskey colored eyes looking at him; so much desperation, so much fear so much pain in them.

“You can’t Regina. He’s already crossed over. He is in a good safe place now. And you are good, you are so brave and strong but you can’t protect everybody. You can’t save everybody. Sometimes you just have to let go. Let go, Regina.”

There was another moment of silence, Robin and Regina only looking at each other, and then suddenly it was too much and Regina broke down. The tiny body of the Queen began shaking violently as the sobs ripped through her and Robin responded by pulling her closer, moving her onto his lap, her head buried in the crook of his neck.

“Shh Regina, everything is going to be alright, shh,” Robin soothed her, rubbing up and down her spine and holding her close, pressing kisses on her hairline. Snow and Charming had silently sat on the floor next to him, arm in arm with tears in their eyes.

Regina couldn’t breathe; the pain was suffocating her.

Save him, heal him, be a good girl.

Those words were going around and around Regina’s mind as she tried to heal her father. As she felt the magic slowly killing her, knowing that she didn’t have the power to save him, but she kept going.

Always kept going

Kept going till strong arms pulled her away. Robin. But she had kept fighting; had poofed herself back till he again took her away. She had been so angry, in so much pain, all she wanted was her father. _Oh god Daddy._

But Robin didn’t let her; his touches soft and caring but strong, not letting her get away this time. She was screaming at him, giving him her best Evil Queen glare (at least she thought she did) but he wouldn’t let go. And she struggled and struggled till she had heared him beg, had seen the fear in his eyes and then she had listened.

Had listened because she knew, just knew (no matter how strange it still was for her) that Robin wasn’t trying to hurt her, that he was trying to protect her. And that he might be right- that she could at least listen to what he was saying.

It hurt- damn it hurt- to let go but he had been right. Her good and kind thief had been right. And he had helped her do what she never knew how to. How to let go. She stopped fighting, and that was when she just broke down

The pain of losing her father, the pain of her entire damn life just crushing down on her and for once she had someone who was ready to catch her. Someone who was holding her, someone willing to fight for her even if that meant pain and loss for himself.

He had been willing for her to hate him as long as she was safe. Nobody had ever put her own needs, her own feelings, her own wishes above theirs. Robin did.

So when she pushed herself closer to him he only tightened his grip on her, telling her that everything was going to be alright. And for once Regina believed him. Even though life had again showed her how cruel it could be, she believed that maybe, just maybe, everything still would end well.

She believed it; believed till Regina saw the curse cloud fall.

And she realized that by sun down it didn’t matter that her thief loved her or that he believed in her.

It didn’t matter that her son and her unborn child believed in her

It didn’t matter that her former enemy was becoming her family

It didn’t matter that the Merry Men saw her as one of their own

It didn’t matter that she was trying to do better, to be better

All that mattered was that Blue won. A few hours from now Regina would get the punishment worthy of a monster

In a few hours Regina would have to learn another lesson once again.

Villains don’t get happy endings

* * *

 

In my original version Mal did die but lately so many of my fav characters died I just couldn't especially since Henry had to die in this part. So i'm sorry if that's a little repeat from the other Regina heals people but I just couldn't. And I know you guys love Mal too right?


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here it is the last chapter (besides the Epilogue so don't forget to press the next button!). I want to thank you all for this amazing journey, for all your kind reviews and comments , for every fav and follow and all your support. You always put big smile on my face! Thank you so much! I love you all!  
> Also a big thank you to Abi! Thank you for all you hard work making sure my fic wasn't covered in mistakes (which with me is very likely)  
> Thank you to the DP Squad for well everything! Love ya girls!  
> Thank you to Ivy for the truly stunning cover!  
> A very special thank you to Tarisa who kept me going and who turned out to be a truly wonderful human being! I love you girl!  
> So I hope you enjoy the last part of this fic of Regina's and Robin's fight for second chances!  
> PS: I started a new fic- Count to Ten check it out if you want ;)

Regina was still in Robin's arms trying to calm her breathing. She was feeling it once again; pain burning and powerful racing through her. _Daddy._ Just the thought of never seeing her father again made tears gather in Regina's eyes.

_Your fault, this is all your fault_ , a voice whispered- no, screamed- in her head making Regina press harder against Robin's body, desperately trying to shut the voice up. She would never see him again, she never would be in her father's arms, never be riding with again.

And it was all her fault. Hers and…

"I'll kill her! I'll rip that damn moth apart till she begs for death," Regina hissed, suddenly wanting to get out of Robin's hold as quickly as possible. She would hurt Blue the way she was hurting.

"Regina, wait. You need to calm down, milady. We need to figure out our next step, not just rush into the next fight," Robin tried to reason with her.

"She killed my father Robin, my father! I'm not gonna stand here and do nothing," Regina yelled at him. But Robin, good and kind Robin, took her hand and squeezed while telling her, his voice calm and soft "I know Regina, and we won't do nothing I vow to you. But- and correct me if I'm wrong- this curse will be enacted by sundown and our next move should be putting a stop to her wretched plan, don't you think?"

Regina was about to protest but Robin kept talking rubbing soothing circles on her hand "Regina that bloody curse might destroy us and more importantly it will surely hurt you. We need to find a way to stop her and unless taking her life will put an end to her magic we have to tend to more pressing issues."

"Robin is right Regina. I know you're hurting and I'm so sorry, but storming in like this won't do any good," Snow told her, coming closer. Her face was tear-stained, pain clearly visible in them. "Would killing her stop the curse?" David asked carefully, still not very sure how all this was supposed to work.

He looked almost hopefully at her and Regina didn't know if she should be annoyed at his still very lacking knowledge of magic, or sad that she had to tell him no it wouldn't. It turned out that crushing David's hope was worse

"No Charming, it won't. Nothing can stop the Dark Curse once it is enacted. Nothing," the last part was almost whispered, a single tear falling down. Happiness had been so close she could've almost reached it. A life with Robin, Roland and the baby. A life where she received forgiveness from former enemies and let go of old grudges in return. A life with a family; a second chance.

A life without hurt and darkness and hatred.

She had been so close and now it was snatched away from her. Once again. God, and it hurt. It hurt so much. She had lost her father ( _oh Daddy_ ) and within the next few hours Blue would take everything from her. Everything she fought so hard for, fought every day to be worthy of the people around her even knowing it would never be good enough.

Blue just proved that.

* * *

Robin was terrified. Not for the first time, but in this moment he was desperately grasping for something he usually had.

Hope.

Hope that everything would work out, that he would be able to protect those he loved so dearly. He had expected some plan, or at least some idea, a brilliant thought only his soulmate was capable of thinking of. Hope had never been something Regina had. Robin had always tried to hope strong enough for both of them but his stubborn dark haired love always had a fight in her whisky colored eyes.

The need to protect those she loved, and an inability to give up doing so. But now when Robin looked in those orbs he saw only resignation and fear, and he could feel her giving up. Well, that wouldn't bloody happen; not as long as he had any say.

"There has to be a way Regina. Come on milady, think with that beautiful mind of yours," Robin tried to motivated her, softly tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, smiling when she leant into his touch.  
"Robin there really is no way. Rumple explicitly told me if I ever wanted to enact that curse I had to be sure since there is no way to undo it."

"I did say that dearie," a voice startled all of them and when they turned around Rumpelstiltskin was standing behind them, smirking. "But things change. The odds change; people change."

"What are you talking about?" Regina asked, voice till tight from tears. God it crushed Robin to see his love being in so much pain. He vowed to protect her… and wasn't he doing a bloody good job?

His eyes landed for a second on Henry's body and he needed a moment to push the sadness and guilt back. There was no time for it but damn he would've loved to meet Regina's father. And even more he would've loved to spare her more pain.

Robin did move a bit further to the left making sure he could step in if necessary. He did not trust the imp. "I'm talking about a certain Queen who recently figured out she wields rather powerful light magic, dearie," the Dark One giggled. Robin couldn't stop himself from flinching slightly every time the creature in front of him giggled. He knew they needed him, knew that they owed him, knew that the imp might even feel something resembling care for Regina. But Robin of Locksley also knew how trustable people could look. And Rumpelstiltskin surely didn't fit that category.

* * *

"What do I have to do?" Regina asked carefully. She was aware that her magic went beyond most she had known, but the Dark Curse… it was old and extremely powerful dark magic; something that made even the Dark One shiver, so it was far too early to be hopeful (not that hope had ever worked out in her favor anyway)

"Stop it," was all the damn imp said. Regina wasn't sure how she felt to put her faith in her old mentor once again. He had indeed taught her a lot but he also had her hurt her deeply, had turned her into the monster she had become. Regina wouldn't put the blame away from herself, knowing that the blood was on her hands and the choice had been hers after all, but.. but sometimes Regina thought about what would've happened if Rumple had never entered her life. If she would've fallen into darkness still, or would've found a way to cope with the loss of love and freedom.

Sometimes she liked to say yes, but the simple truth was she would never know and thinking about 'what ifs' didn't help her at all. What was done was done.

"What do you mean 'stop it,'" Regina hissed, glaring at him. The Dark One laughed again and kept speaking "You always were impatient, Your Majesty. I mean stop it like you stopped Blue's curse from killing your princess, from killing Maleficent. I taught you how to channel your anger and hatred, now it is time to channel your love and the need to protect. Only now it has to go beyond your thief or your dear step-daughter. You want so save your kingdom? You have to feel it. Magic is emotion, Regina. You need to have faith in yourself and- probably more difficult to achieve after your _lovely_ reign- you need your people's faith."

"Why?" Regina asked simply. Why would she need the peasants to believe in her (god, she wanted that so badly- always had)

"I just told you. Magic is emotion and the power and energy you need goes far beyond everything you've ever done. The faith of the people will create energy, its own special kind of magic. Your own will draw power from it, hopefully enough to break the curse. How you going to make your people believe in you within the next hours… well dearie that's your problem."

With that he disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving Regina as hopeless as before. Her people hated her, and had good reason to do so. There was no way to get their support, especially not within a few hours. Probably not even in her lifetime, Regina thought with a sigh.

"In that case I'll go back to my earlier statement. Stopping the curse is impossible." Regina had to fight the tears again, knowing all she would ever feel again was pain. A few months ago that wouldn't've really been any different from how she felt every day, but now- now when she finally felt how it was to love and being loved? Now the thought of losing it all was unbearable.

"It isn't." Snow told her, a hopeful smile on her pale face. Sometimes Regina envied Snow for always being able to hold onto hope; to see the positive when there was only darkness and pain. She envied that Snow never lost all of her innocence.

"How come? Will those peasants out there start believing in the Evil Queen because the Dark One told them to? Snow not even you are that naïve," Regina hissed, rolling her eyes and trying to push the fear and the anger back.

"No you're right Regina, they won't if the Dark One tells them to. But they will if Snow White, Prince Charming and Robin Hood tell them. The people might not see you for who you really are, but we do. And they trust us; they will fight for you if we do. If we present each other side by side, allies not enemies, they will do as told."

"You can't be serious Snow you-" whatever else Regina thought was interrupted by Snow who came even closer, taking Regina's hand "-They will Regina. They will see the curse cloud and will know they are in danger. They will be looking for guidance. And as soon as we assure them you are on their side, they will come to you. "

"Why me?" Regina whispered.

"They come to you because even if they fear you, milady, they know that you won their wars; that you put food on their tables. They are aware that you have either the power to destroy, or to save them. Even when I didn't know you and thought you were just a bloody crazy witch I always knew you were a good Queen. A Queen who perhaps lost herself, but if you overlook the hunt after Snow you did well. Those smart enough to understand that… well Regina those are the ones whose opinions will matter today. "

"We just need to show them today that you want to be _their_ Queen, one of them. And we _will_ convince them," Snow continued, so sure of herself that Regina had to smile.

Smile at the girl- even after everything she put her through she never stopped believing in the good in Regina. "We can try to convince them to see you the way we do. Or we can sit here and wait for our end. What will it be Regina?" Robin asked her, his blue eyes finding her dark ones.

Regina knew- Robin knew what she was thinking. He was well aware of her own self-loathing, the intensity she hated herself and her inability to understand how anybody could see her as someone worth fighting for.

Regina was sure they would never be able to get the people on her side, convince them that she had changed, but in the end they were running out of options. So she took a deep breath, looking at three hopeful faces staring at her eyes with soft reassuring smiles.

"Fine. Let's do it. If you think you can work miracles and make people trust an Evil Queen be my guest," Regina sighed. She was so tired, so damn tired. "Alright then let's go to work," David shouted, already pulling Snow to him trying to figure out what to do.

"Y-Your Majesty, good, you a-are here. The p-people are knocking o-on the castle d-doors. They want to k-know what the purple cloud is. They are s-scared and angry," Alexander, one of Regina advisers, had run to them and almost crashed into her. He was clearly afraid of her reaction. She hadn't been here for some time. Regina had always sent instructions when she looked for Snow, making sure the castle was still standing when she came back. But it had taken some till she actually came back.

"I'm aware Alexander, but the cloud is none of my doing you can calm down. Tell my people to wait at the west main area, were the balcony is. I'll talk to them in a few moments and explain the situation to them."

"Yes, Your Majesty, of course," Alexander answered, bowing to her.  
"Oh and Alexander?"  
"Yes Your Majesty?"  
"I want all people brought there unharmed. Do you understand me?" Regina asked, waiting for his nod which he did mere seconds later, surprise clear in his eyes. But knowing not to question the Queen he bowed once again and left.

"So how do we do this?" Regina questioned, her voice shaking slightly. Robin took her hand in his and his blue eyes once again found dark ones "It will be alright, you'll see milady,"

Regina hoped to god that he was right.

An hour later Regina was now wearing a light blue dress, far softer than anything she had worn in years (Snow had insisted upon it). It reminded her more of her younger self than the Queen, but it might help her to gain her people's trust. Or so Snow had said and Regina was too tired and scared to argue.

They had called upon the Merry Men to make sure Regina got as much support as possible when she finally went in front of a huge crowd of angry and terrified people. People who wanted answers, but weren't actually interested in the truth. The truth about their Queen.

Even though Regina still doubted that she could be the person they all wanted her to be. The Evil Queen was a part of her; a part that she hated, but still had needed. Might still need.

Regina wasn't sure if she could do it… what if… or when… she couldn't breathe, there was so much that could go wrong, so much she could screw up, so much…

"Breath milady, just breath. It's gonna be fine you'll see," Robin's soothing voice came from behind her and soon he had his arms around her, pressing her against him. Regina leaned into him, trying to calm down. "I'm scared Robin," she whispered, making sure he was the only one to hear it.

"I know my love, but you went through so much, survived so much, you're going to get through this too."

"You promise?" Regina asked, hating how vulnerable she sounded but she couldn't help it. She was utterly terrified and the pain of losing her father was still strong and burning and she just wanted it all to stop. To go back to the brief time she had felt happy and safe. And for a second, just a moment, when Robin pulled her closer and pressed kisses on her hairline, whispering reassuring words into her ear, for just this few seconds she could pretend that everything would be alright. That she wasn't fated to suffer.

"Regina, we are ready," Snow told her, coming closer, smiling softly with those damn eyes so full of hope and faith. Faith in her, Regina knew, even though she truly couldn't understand it. She sighed turned around and pressed a kiss on Robin's lips which he returned. They stood there for a moment, forehead to forehead, centering themselves and getting ready for the next fight.

The fight of convincing a kingdom that their Queen had changed.

They decided to let Regina go out by herself at first, and then follow shortly after. Making a dramatic entrance just like their dear Queen liked, Charming had said with a warm chuckle worry and care for Regina in his eyes.

Regina took a deep breath and threw one last look in the mirror to make sure she looked perfect. The perfect Queen, just like Mother always wanted her to be. Even though what she was about to do, siding with her enemies, showing kindness… yes, mother would see it as weakness but Regina was done trying to please her mother. It was time to the Queen she wanted to be, and not the one Cora or Leopold or Rumple pushed her to be.

Regina walked out on to the balcony. Just as she was in view a few peasants started to yell at her; scream names at her. She was far above them on the balcony, but a wave of her hand would've been enough to shut them up for ever. A few months ago she would've have done exactly that. But not today.

Today when she saw her Black Knights reach for the people who were screaming angrily at her she commanded them to stop. One strict order from her was enough for the knights, even though they were surprised they stopped.

"Be quiet," Regina shouted sharply, her magic making her voice loud enough for everyone to hear. Within seconds everybody was silent, fear in their eyes. Even those who shouted just moments ago remained silent. "As you all are probably are aware there is-" but before she could end her sentence someone screamed (the annoying dwarfs, of course, one of Snow's little beasts)

"What is that purple cloud stuff? What did you do? Where is Snow?" Grumpy shouted, knowing that he might get beheaded for it but he didn't care. They hadn't heard from Snow in weeks and now that purple cloud? The Evil Queen must've done something terrible.

"I was getting to that, munchkin," Regina hissed, ignoring Grumpy's muttered "dwarf not munchkin" Deep breaths Regina, deep breaths, she told herself trying to stop herself from choking the damn dwarf.

"As I was trying to say before I got interrupted, yes powerful magic was enacted. Magic, or how the munchkin would call it "purple cloud stuff", and I assure you that it was none of my doing. For once, I'm innocent like the rest of you"

"Like we would believe you," another dwarf yelled. "Where is Snow White? What did you do to her?" Another scream. Regina knew the people were scared, feeling the dark pull of the curse, and she was aware that they probably wouldn't even give her the chance to explain. The only reason most of them were still silent was the fear of getting killed on the spot by her magic. Regina sighed, not knowing how to get them to listen to her, when she suddenly felt a hand lying on top of hers. Snow's hand.

"I'm here and I'm fine. I know that all of you are scared and confused but I need you to listen to what Regina has to say," there had been a surprised gasp from most of the crowd followed by loud cheers "The real Queen is back." Or "Long live Snow White" Regina tried to ignore the pang of hurt she felt at that. There were more important issues to tend to at the moment. "Snow what is going on? Why should we ever listen to her?" Red asked her friend, confused.

* * *

"Because there is a threat out there; someone who will be able to destroy you and your families, and Regina is the only one who can put a stop to it. If you hear her out," Robin told them, appearing next to Regina and laying his hand on top of the hand not occupied by Snow's. He had sensed that Regina wasn't getting anywhere alone, and the utterly confused faces staring up at them would've made Robin chuckle if the situation hadn't been so bloody serious.

"That's Robin Hood. There is Snow White," people shouted, not knowing if they should be relieved or worried. To see the prince of thieves and the disgraced princess side by side with the Evil Queen, their hands lying on top of hers presenting one of the oldest tradition of the Enchanted Forest. If someone was to pledge loyalty or support to a reigning monarch you place your hand on top of theirs to show your new alliance.

"How do we know you aren't under some kind of spell? How do we know this isn't one of her cruel tricks?" Somebody Robin didn't know asked. Robin sighed, he had expected that reaction, but it still annoyed him as much as it pained him, knowing how his love still couldn't understand how they thought her worthy of trust and faith.

"I assure you that neither I nor the princess are under any kind of spell, but acting of our own free will. The Queen has gained our trust through her rather heroic acts in the last few weeks. Myself and the Merry Men will all vouch for her, and so will Snow and her prince," Robin told them, knowing it wouldn't have been enough all the same.

They needed proof, proof that their words were their own. All of them were aware by now how Regina controlled people and Robin used this for his advantage, whispering in Regina's ear "Take out my heart, love. Show them that I'm acting of my own free will."

Said heart clenched painfully at the fearful and self-loathing look in Regina's dark orbs as she whispered back to ask if he was sure. Robin nodded "I trust you, milady. Let's show them they can trust you too." Regina bit her lip for a moment and then nodded too. Robin turned around in the direction the question had come from and told them "You want proof? You all know how the Queen controls people. I'll let Regina rip out my heart so you can see I still have it. After that she will give it back to me unharmed."

There was an uncertain mumbling from the crowd, fear and doubt clearly shown on their faces. Robin took Regina hands and led it to his heart, softly stroking over her trembling fingers. "Everything is going to be alright love, just breathe and do it." With one last reassuring glance Regina pushed her hand into Robin's chest, ripping out his heart.

This had been by far the strangest sensation Robin had ever felt. The pain, the fear, the concern all was numbed but to his dislike so where the feeling of joy and happiness and most importantly love. He still could feel the strong love he felt for Regina but it was duller now, not breathtaking anymore. "Show them," he told her and even though most of her people gasped in shock they also could now plainly see that Robin was in possession of his own heart and therefore his own will.

* * *

Regina could feel the organ beating against her fingers. Robin's heart was bright red with a few dark spots on it, far from the darkness she held in her own heart but still enough to tell the story of Robin's own demons.

She was afraid when she searched for Robin's eyes, knowing that once again she would show him the monster she truly was (even though she knew he would tell her that was not true) but instead of disgust or anger she saw love and surprise, but mostly love. Their eyes stayed on each other for a moment and as soon as Robin had said what he had to say Regina pushed the pumping organ back into his chest.

"You see neither I nor Snow are under Regina's control and we ask you now to please put your trust in her and let her speak. If you want to protect your home, your families, your life… listen," Robin told them and slowly Regina could breathe normally again. She knew he was winning her people over. At least long enough so they would listen. If they believed her… well that was a different story.

"We are asking you to forget about the past today so we can have a future. Regina doesn't have anything to do with the curse coming for us but she can save us. If you let her," Regina felt her breath quicken at Snow's words, fearing that even if they sided with her she wouldn't be good enough. She didn't want to fail them but feared all the same that she would.

"So will you listen?" Snow asked them and to Regina's surprise Red came forward and told them "Snow, we'll follow you wherever you go, whatever you do and if you honestly and truly believe Regina is not responsible for this, and can help us," Red sighed but then continued "We will listen. No more but also no less."

"Thank you Red," Snow beamed at her friend and then turned to Regina, her eyes telling the Queen it was her moment. Regina closed her eyes for a brief moment and as she opened them again she was ready to do it, to ask.

Ask for trust

Ask for forgiveness

Ask for second chance

"I know that my actions in the past do not make me a trustworthy leader; a person you can put your faith in. I've done terrible things through the years, all in the name of vengeance. What exactly happened between Snow and me will remain between us but just know that our fight has ended. I have realized my faults and I-," Regina took a deep breath "-I am very sorry for what I've done and I know that I can't take back any of it. I am your Queen, which should've meant protecting you and putting your needs and wishes above mine. I failed. I let hatred dictate my life and you paid the price for it."

"I've learnt a lot in the last few weeks, one of the most important lessons was forgiveness, but this is not what I am going ask of you today."

"You don't deserve our forgiveness, you monster," someone yelled and Regina straightened herself, knowing that that person was right. "You are right dear I do not deserve your forgiveness. And I'm also not going to deny that I am in fact a monster." Regina softly put her hand on Robin's to stop him from protesting. She was who she was.

"But the evil that was done today wasn't through my hand. As I said, I've learnt many things lately. Love being one of them. I know many of you think I do not deserve love and happiness and once again you would be correct but I still found it. Found it, and I promised them I'll do better; I'll be better. Which is the same promise I'm going to make you.

"I can't take back what I did as much as I'd like to, but I'll swear to you I will do better. For reasons I don't really understand, Snow White has forgiven me and is willing to once again stand at my side. Robin and his Merry Men do as well and I'm asking the same from you. I'm know that putting your faith in me is the last thing you want to do, I mean the last thing I wanted to do is stand in front of you and apologize. But I did. I did because the Queen you deserve has to do whatever it takes to protect her people."

"And protecting you is what I'm going to do from now on. Starting by pardoning Snow White and Robin Hood. They are no longer enemies of the crown, but allies."

"If you didn't do it, who did?" Granny's sharp voice came from the left corner, her eyes locking with Regina's.  
"Blue did," was all Regina said.  
"It's true," Snow added quickly, telling them the whole story, knowing they would believe her more than they would believe Regina.

When Snow finished all mouths were open, shocked by Blue's betrayal. They still didn't trust Regina, but when Snow and Robin Hood told them things had happen that way then… well then things had happened that way.

"So how do we stop the big purple cloud stuff?" Grumpy asked, still not trusting the Queen even a little bit.

"You won't, I will," Regina told them, well aware of the wariness in their eyes. "But you need our help don't you? That's why you are taking to us?" Red asked carefully.  
"I do, Red, I do."

"The Dark Curse, the purple cloud stuff," Regina added at the confused looks from some of her people. "is incredible powerful dark magic, and stopping it will require an amount of magic never used before."  
"So you will use your dark magic to stop it?" A dwarf asked.

"Yes I will use my magic but no, not dark magic. Which is why I need your help. The magic I'll use to destroy the curse is light, but I alone won't be strong enough," Regina told them.

"You can use light magic? And how are we supposed to help with that?" Granny asked sounding more curious then angry or suspicious.  
"Yes Mrs. Lucas, I can. As far as your help goes… magic is emotion and b-by…"

"By what Your Majesty?" Granny asked softly, knowing that what the Queen was saying was the truth. She remembered the time when Regina became Queen –Child Queen- they called the young girl. Granny had seen her on her wedding day, had seen the terrified child with big fearful eyes. She also had seen the kindness and innocence disappear from said eyes, had watched her turn into the woman everyone knew as the Evil Queen.

And today she was sure she saw her again in the Queen's dark orbs. The young girl who still had good in her; who had strength and a big heart. Granny was sure she was slowly returning, leaving the darkness behind like she once had the light

"By you believing in me. Magic is emotion and by your faith in me it will give my magic enough energy to destroy the curse. I know you don't and I know that I did nothing to warrant your trust in me, and I know I'm probably the last person who is worth it and…" Regina was rambling, the intensity of how the old wolf looked at- no looked straight through- her made her feel so young again. Young and desperate for approval; for the knowledge that she was good enough, even while knowing that she never would be.

"Girl, why do you want to stop Blue?" Granny questioned, looking still straight at Regina.  
"To protect the people I love. To protect my people. To protect you," Regina's voice was barely above a whisper anymore and for a moment it seemed it was just her and Granny.

"Do you believe you can do it?" Regina stayed silent for a moment and then answered "I have to. I don't want to fail all of you again. I want to be good." Granny smiled at that answer, well aware that the untypical vulnerability the Queen just unwillingly showed everybody might've won some of them over.

"Don't let yourself be fooled. She can't stop it and she won't. She is the Evil Queen only looking out for herself. Why do you think I cast the curse in the first place?" A voice came from the middle of the place, Blue slowly stepping towards Regina.

"Blue. Here to gloat?" Regina questioned, glaring at her.  
"No, to make sure the people aren't falling for your lies, Your Majesty. Protecting them"

"Protecting them? By ripping them away from their home and their families, to be transported to a place you created with your darkest desires? Blue it's time to stop the I'm-a-hero-and-going–to-save-you-from-the-monster-act. The curse is dark; you killed my father to enact it. There is nothing good or pure in you or what you are doing. And I'm gonna stop you," Regina told the fairy, her voice calm and collected even though she was so scared, so damn scared.

"You don't have the power to do so, Your Majesty. And as far as believing in you goes… those people know who you are- they know what kind of monster you are. They never will side with you."

Regina was silent at this because there was a big part of her that knew the fairy was right. This was all hopeless.

"I wouldn't be so sure about it, Blue. Regina betrayed us but so did you. She offers protection from your dark magic that will rip us away from here. How exactly do you see what you're doing as protecting us?"

Blue rambled but Granny stopped listening to her, she was surely a mad woman. "You need us to try to open our hearts to you and try to trust you?"

Regina silently nodded, tears in her eyes. They didn't fall Regina still had that much self-control but it was all slipping away from her. She was so close to gain everything or lose everything.

"Then we will have faith in you Regina. Be the Queen you always wanted to be and safe us. I believe in you Your Majesty." And with a smile the older woman turned around and yelled "I'm willing to give the Queen a second chance. Who is with me? Raise a hand. Let's all put some faith in our Queen and let her save our asses, because I really don't wanna go to some crappy place a damn fairy choses!"

"I am," Snow yelled,  
"I am," Robin and the Merry Men shouted,  
"Me too," Red screamed and soon more and more followed. Regina couldn't believe what was happening as she witnessed one hand after another going up. Ready to believe in her; ready to fight with her.

"You did it, love," Robin told her, pulling her close. A single tear dropped down Regina's face but Charming squeezed her shoulder, telling her with fear in his voice "We don't have time to celebrate. The curse is coming. Now."

He was right, the cloud was now coming from all sides, trapping them. All of them could feel the darkness and the pain that would come with it. The air was charged; thunder could be heard and everybody panicked.

"Your Majesty what…?"  
"Stay calm, close your eyes and… try to believe in me. Try to really feel it to really believe it," Regina said, and with that she kissed Robin one last time, trying to put all the love she felt for him in that kiss, before turning around and pressing a kiss on Snow's forehead. She shared one last look with David and turned and put her arms up.

"You never going to beat me, Your Majesty," Blue snarled but Regina ignored her.

_Love Regina. Protect Regina. Be Brave Regina._

For a moment nothing happened and then white magic shot out of Regina up into the sky. It was hot and burning and soft and gentle all at the same time. Like always. But Regina could feel the darkness of the curse trying to shut down her own magic. She had to fight like hell, but the darkness became stronger and stronger. Regina bit her lip as she pushed her arms even higher and focused on every happy memory in her life, focused on protecting her people, focused on being a good girl.

But she was failing, she could feel herself getting weaker and weaker, the dark magic attacking her viciously. She felt pain, unbearable pain, but she didn't stop. She would protect them even if that meant it would take her life. So she kept going and going and the pain got stronger and stronger and then she suddenly felt coldness, a hopelessness, a tight feeling almost suffocating her.

She couldn't do it; she was weak, she wasn't good enough, why did she ever for one moment believed she could be? She would fail and they would all suffer she was so useless so…

Then she heard it, heard Robin's voice strong and determined "You can do it, milady, I know you can do it. Don't give up now." She could breathe a bit better.  
"Regina we believe in you so much," Snow's voice, scared but still so hopeful. "Come on Regina. You are always a pain in the ass, you can do this," Charming's low voice was heard from behind. The tight grip the dark magic had on her slowly loosened.

"We believe in you."  
"Long live the Queen,"  
"Get your ass movin' sister" Regina heard them yell, heard her people fight, fight with her, fight for her. She could suddenly feel it. They didn't just scream it, they actually believed it. Regina could feel her magic getting stronger and stronger, could feel how the air came back to her, how the sky cleared.

Regina eyes locked with Granny's and she saw trust in them (she was wondering if the old wolf knew what it meant to her) and taking another deep breath she let the magic flow freely and powerful. It was a strange feeling as magic practically exploded, white light everywhere, fighting back the dark magic.

And then Regina was close to passing out, there was a white golden explosion above all of them and finally, _finally_ , the purple cloud disappeared. The dread, the fear, the darkness surrounding them disappeared, leaving only peace and joy.

The curse had been stopped.

"Regina is..." Robin asked, taking her shaking hands she was lowering slowly into his.  
"The curse is stopped. M-My magic d-did it. I-I did it," Regina stammered, eyes wide with surprise.

"Yes you did it, milady, you bloody did it!" Robin shouted, carefully pulling her to him, knowing that she was about to pass out.  
"I knew it I knew it," Snow shouted, kissing David passionately and then after another moment of silence the crowd started to cheer, following Granny's example

"Long live Queen Regina, long live our Queen."

Regina had tears in her eyes as she saw them all cheering and smiling at her, Blue long forgotten. So long forgotten that nobody realized how she pointed the wand at Regina, ready to try one last time to kill the Queen.

Blue screamed her name, the wand already ready. Regina- too weak and stunned to react- stared at the fairy, at the hateful look, staring at the magic pointed in her direction, knowing that in her condition she probably wouldn't survive it. Robin, Snow, David, the Merry Men all busy celebrating, not realising the danger she was in.

Nobody did.

Nobody besides Granny. And before anybody, including Blue, could react she had her crossbow out and without hesitation let one arrow fly. Protecting the woman everybody used to see as evil personified from the one everybody thought would present light and innocence.

Life did have a strange way of working out sometimes.

There was a moment of silence when Blue's body dropped to the ground, dead. People only now realizing the danger Regina had been in. Regina and the wolf's eyes locked once again and Regina whispered "Thank you," sounding so surprised that it brought tears to Granny's eyes. "You're welcome, Your Majesty," she replied with one last smile from Regina, one last look of gratitude before the Queen passed out in Robin's arms.

* * *

_A few hours later_

* * *

Robin softly stroked over Regina's dark hair, touching the silky waves he loved so much. He had almost lost her toady- almost lost her once again. First through the magic and then through that bloody fairy. Thank god for Granny. Regina hadn't opened her eyes yet but Tink assured him that was normal. She had used an extreme amount of magic, after all.

But he couldn't help but worry and he sighed in relief as he felt her stir and slowly come back to him. Those beautiful dark eyes opened, looking up at him in confusion.

"Hey there, milady. Welcome back," Robin whispered, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead.  
"R-Robin what…?"  
"Everything is alright, Regina. Blue is dead, you stopped the curse. You saved all of us. You've been unconscious for a few hours which Tink assured me is normal for what you went through." Robin stayed silent for a moment before adding "I'm so proud of you, Regina. You showed them today who you really are and you beat that damn fairy. You never stopped fighting."

Regina smiling softly at him, making Robin's heart flutter. Then suddenly a concerned look replaced the smile and she asked with a tremble in her voice "The Baby?" It was Robin's turn to smile softly at her  
"Tink said our baby boy is fine. He is just as strong as his mother."

"Baby boy? We'll have a son?" Regina questioned, eyes wide, the smile reappearing.  
"Yes milady, a son. Tink and Snow are already debating baby names but if you are with me on this I'm not sure Harold or Gustav are what we should go with."

"Harold or Gustav?" Regina groaned "They are beyond horrible. But knowing that their names are Snow White and Tinkerbell we might even have got lucky with them. Even though, if it's alright with you, I already have a name I would like to take," Regina admitted, looking up shyly, leaning into Robin's touch as he cupped her cheek gently.

"And what would that name be, love?" Robin asked curiously, ready to agree on almost anything his stunning beauty wanted.

"Henry. I'd like to name him after my father." Robin smiled at Regina's uncertain but hopeful tone. He pressed a kiss onto her lips, soft and short, and told her "It's a beautiful idea, Regina. And I rather like that name for our lad."

"Thank you, Robin," Regina whispered, love shining in her eyes, so much love it took Robin's breath away. He wondered if there would be a day where looking at her wouldn't make him feel like this and doubted it would ever stop. He loved this woman so much it sometimes hurt, and a life without her had now become truly impossible.

Nobody said anything for a moment, and then the old door was opened with a loud pang, Grumpy standing there already rather drunk (the kingdom was celebrating, nobody actually mourning Blue's death but celebrating the end of the war between the Queen and Snow White and the heroic act of their Queen)

"You're finally awake sister- good. So in case you're feeling up to it your royal ass is required downstairs. We'd rather like to celebrate the Evil Queen turned hero lady _with_ the Evil Queen turned hero lady." With that he grinned at her. "I'll be there soon, dwarf" he nodded, turned around, and yelled over his shoulder "You better be sister or Red will have drank all the good stuff."

Robin and Regina laughed and Robin could see how much it meant to her that she was invited; that she was wanted. Grumpy's words had sounded almost affectionate. Maybe she did still have a chance with her people to prove she could be a good Queen.

Regina had become silent, so Robin thought it might be time to go downstairs and show her how grateful the kingdom was. But as he looked at her, her face was serious, almost closed off.

"What is it?" Robin asked, stroking her cheek softly. She looked troubled; like she just had made some sort of decision. (Oh please don't make her run away again, don't make her push him away from him please..)

"Robin?"  
"Yes milady?"  
"Marry me"

* * *

_A year later_

* * *

Regina stood in front of a mirror in a long white dress, her long dark hair falling down her back in soft waves. She was looking forward to this day. Today. For the calm and the intimate atmosphere, rather than the big official wedding they had two days ago, vowing eternal love to each other. It had been nice; far more glamorous, far more fuss than Regina would've liked, but it wasn't every day the Queen married the prince of thieves.

The people- her people- had applauded, had cheered, had praised their Queen. Eyes had looked at her, full of joy and admiration rather than fear and disgust. Sure, there still had been people who didn't trust her; who couldn't believe that Snow White agreed to co-lead the kingdom, knowing that it would take time till she was ready to be Queen on her own. Knowing that despite never wanting to become Queen the role had rather grown on her step-mother.

Regina was accepted and even though it was still a long road for people to forgive her and be able to trust her fully, Regina worked hard to make it happen. She had replaced most of her Dark Knights and had made Robin Captain. Said thief still chuckled at the fact that he, as a former outlaw, was now in charge of law and order and reporting to the Queen. Reporting was of course easier when you are married to said Queen.

Charming and Snow learnt eagerly- but not always so successfully- what it meant to lead a kingdom, soothing over rougher edges Regina's reign had costed them, but proudly presenting themselves as a team.

Regina could feel day after day how her kingdom slowly put more and more faith in her, looking up to her and trusting her to take care of them. And damn, that was a great feeling. The feeling of being needed; of being wanted.

Snow and Tink had planned most of the official royal wedding as soon as they assured Regina she could make their own little private ceremony later, but only that just wasn't a possibility as reigning Queen. Regina had finally- with a roll of her eyes- agreed, and had to admit the wedding had been… nice.

Nice, but she preferred it another way. She preferred the simple white dress to the long glamorous dress she wore two days ago. She preferred the flowers in her hair over the long wedding veil. She'd rather here in the woods with the Merry Men than hundreds of people staring at her.

So yes, she was really looking forward to today. She had to chuckle when she remembered Robin's surprised face when she asked him to marry her. She had asked him, thought that after being forced into her first marriage the second one should be of her choosing. And god, it had been a good choice.

Robin was wonderful, caring and loving, but without suffocating her. Always able to make her laugh and giggle like she hadn't in decades. Making her blush and smirk, made her scream in ecstasy when they finally had a night to themselves.

"Mama you look beautiful," Roland's little voice came from behind her and soon the lad was standing next to her, eyes wide as he crushed against her legs hugging her tightly.  
"Thank you very much sweetheart," Regina told him, stroking through his wild brown curls, still not able to understand how she could be lucky enough to be loved by that amazing child- her wonderful boy.

Speaking of wonderful boys. "Hey Regina I know you are getting ready but that little man needs a big hug, and Auntie Mal needs a moment away from your blabbing Princess," Mal told her, grinning and handing the baby over to Regina who smirked.

"Hello Henry. How's my little prince?" Henry had been born in a stormy night a few months ago a beautiful baby with dark hair (like his mother) and green eyes (like Robin's mother). Regina had carried Henry to term; her first child that made it, and he was sunshine. Already curious and always smiling and adored by everybody. Especially by his big brother who had announced himself as Henry's personal protector, and Regina never could stop smiling when she thought about her two boys, her children.

"I know you are best friends forever now little one but holy shit that Princess is annoying. And she never stops talking?" Regina and Mal gossiped a bit about Snow until said Princess entered the tent grinning. She was used to Regina's and the dragon's sharp tongue. "I hate to interrupt your lovely talk but everyone is waiting. How about Maleficent and I take the kids and you get ready? You truly look beautiful Regina," Snow told her, already reaching for Henry and pulling Roland and Mal with her. "David will be here in a minute," Regina had decided to ask David to walk her down the aisle. It pained her greatly that her father wouldn't be part of this; wouldn't see that she did find happiness.

But she cared a great deal about Charming by now so it was… okay. It hurt but it was okay. "Are you ready Your Majesty?" Speaking of him, David stood in front of her holding out his arm for her to take.

"Yes Charming, I am," Regina replied with a smile because yes, she really truly was ready.

* * *

Robin almost stopped breathing when he saw Regina walking towards him. She looked truly stunning, even more than she had two days ago. That had all been more for the people, but this this was just for them. A lot had changed, had happened in the last year. Moving into the castle with Regina, working for the crown instead of against it, raising two little boys and running a kingdom… it had been bloody crazy as well as bloody amazing. Robin never, not once regretted saying yes, knowing that he wanted to share his life with Regina till the day he died.

He was sure if people could explode from happiness he would've been in pieces by now and when Regina slowly came closer, finally smiling freely, eyes sparkling, Robin beamed. Sure- they had rough days, days where Regina's past hunted her and hurt her deeply, days where being Queen was hard for both of them, but in the end they always turned to each other, finding strength and comfort in each other.

"Milady," Robin said, taking her from David nodding to the other man. "You are stunning Regina. Stunning in every way." She blushed at this (he loved that he could make her blush like that)

"Thank you. You look very handsome too, dear," she smiled at him; the kind of smile that made his heart flutter. Tuck was the one who would marry them again and as he started with "Hello everyone" everybody went silent and Robin and Regina tried to stop grinning at each other like idiots.

Tuck talked about all the obstacles they had to overcome, about all their fights, all the losses and all their victories. Talked about second chances; about the way back to the light, about families and about love. Love strong enough to overcome anything.

"Robin it's time for your vow," Tuck told him and Robin took a deep breath.

"Regina, my love. A lot has happened since the day I found you in the woods. A lot has changed. And I don't regret one second of it. You brought happiness back into my life, back into our son's life. You made me smile again. I vow to you in front of our family and friends to love and protect you, to make you laugh and blush so adorably," that earned him an eye roll and of course a soft blush from Regina.

"I will stand by your side no matter what. I love you Regina I love every part of you; the light and the dark. I will have your back- will be with you at all times… even when you steal the covers," Robin added with a smirk turning to Tuck and earning a nod. There was a little tradition in the Enchanted Forest, or rather more under the archers of this realm. Robin took the ring- a beautiful silver one with a dark green stone engraved with his name and an arrow because…

"Regina I'll give myself to you as truly as an arrow flies. I vow to love you till death do us apart. Forever and always," with that Robin put the ring on Regina's finger. He saw a single tear fall down her cheek but she was beaming at him, so he wiped it away softly, grinning when she took his hand into hers.

* * *

"Robin, my love. You are right, a lot has happened since you saved my life out there in the woods. And I don't regret a second either. You, Roland and Henry taught me how to love again; you were the first person in a long time who fought for me, who saw behind my walls, who saw right through me and wanted to see more. I vowed to myself to never love again, but you showed me that love didn't mean pain, but joy and happiness, safety and trust. You brought light into my life and chased away all the darkness. You gave me a second chance.

"I vow to love and care for you, to protect and support you. To stand by your side even though you snore which is far worse than using a bit more of the covers," Regina smirked, earning a chuckle from Robin. Well he did snore…

Regina took the ring Tuck was handing to her and repeated what Robin had said.

"And I give myself to you, Robin, as truly as an arrow flies. I vow to you to love you till death do us apart. Forever and always," with that Regina put the ring on Robin's finger

"So now by the power vested in me, I pronounce your crazy kids husband and wife. You can kiss now," Tuck said, tears in his eyes as Robin pressed his lips onto his wife's. The crowd applauded and cheered and with a wave of Mal's hand flowers came raining down from the sky.

"I love you, thief," Regina whispered as they parted.  
"I love you too, Your Majesty."

The wedding celebration had been wonderful; all their friends were happy laughing, eating, drinking and dancing. Children running around giggling and there was of course Henry who decided weddings were far too stressful and just slept through everything. Everybody was happy for them and after many hours, many hugs and congratulations, midnight already passed, the children long in bed Robin and Regina said goodbye, going to their tent.

"I'm so happy for you Regina," Snow told her, grinning and waving at her when she and Charming went to bed too. Their relationship had become… warm and caring. There was still pain- still so much hurt- but they were getting past that and Regina couldn't've been happier. Which was a rather strange thing when it involved her former step-daughter.

"Sleep well, Snow," Regina told her, smiling at her. A real smile that reached her eyes, making Snow beam. "You too."

Soon after that Regina and Robin were in bed, mouths finding each other. Passionate kisses shared, wandering hands and Robin's head between her legs making her scream his name. More soft touches and tugs and a loud groan at Robin's part and a soft moan at Regina's when he came inside her.

Both were totally spent from their activities and their day as Regina snuggled close to her husband. It still sounded strange, but now it didn't make Regna shiver in fear and disgust, but with anticipation for their future.

"Regina?"  
"Mhh?"  
"What happened between you and Rumple yesterday? You still haven't told me." Regina slowly sat up, stroking Robin's cheek, seeing only curiosity and a bit of concern in his blue eyes.  
"He asked me for a favor. And don't worry, it wasn't something bad. I think we won't have any further problems with him anymore"

"What was the favor love?"

* * *

" _Rumple what do you want?" Regina had asked him carefully. He hadn't said anything for over a year, what exactly he wanted from her for helping her she wasn't sure. "Honestly dearie? The same as you; I want my family."  
"You already have Belle," Regina replied curiously. "What do you want from me?"_

_She knew the imp hated being so vulnerable, but it seemed important._  
"I want my son back"  
"You have a son?" Regina was stunned but it did explain some things.  
"Yes I do. Baelfire." He then told her the story about how he cowardly left his son go by himself and how since then he had tried to get him back. Told her how he wanted her to cast the Dark Curse because of a prophecy.

_Regina was angry of course, knowing that he had used her, destroyed her, hurt her deeply to get what he wanted. But she was tired of being angry; of being in pain. So she let it go and when Rumple explained to her how she could open a portal and get his son she just nodded._

" _For what it's worth dearie, I'm actually sorry for everything. I'm not going to say I would change a thing if I would go back since I need my son, but I'm sorry for what I did to you. And that I'm indeed proud of you, dearie." Regina knew she had to be careful with the imp, but he seemed to be sincere so she nodded again and focused._

_Love Regina. Protect Regina. Be brave Regina._

_And within seconds (she learnt how to use light magic very easily by now, far easier then dark magic had been) and the portal opened and with a loud boom and more light a 13 year old boy stood in front of them._

" _Bae?" Rumple screamed.  
"Papa? You found me?" And despite everything- despite all those years- father and son were in each other's arms, and one last look was exchanged between Regina and Rumple, both reassuring they would vanish from each other's lives and if they would meet again it would in peace. Regina disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke, ready to deal with the wedding preparations._

* * *

"So you brought his son back to him," Robin said before adding "I'm very proud of you my wonderful and talented wife," _Wife_. It sounded so different when Robin said it. Leopold said to claim her as his possession, his toy. Robin, on the other hand didn't claim anything. There was only love and pride in his voice.

"Thank you, dear husband," Regina said with an affectionate roll of her eyes. "Henry slept through everything," both of them chuckled, thinking of their youngest son. "Yes he did. His big brother was therefore vey awake," Robin replied, kissing her hairline as she pillowed hear head on his chest.  
"Oh yes, where does he get the energy from?" Regina asked, grinning and snuggling closer.

"I have no idea love. Speaking of energy, are you ready to close your eyes?"

"Mhh, someone getting tired?" Regina grinned pressing a kiss on his chest while Robin's hand stroke up and down her back.  
"Oh no milady I'm good, just thinking of you and the exhausting days ahead of us. You know with being a Queen, mother and wife… bloody lot to deal with.

"I'm good as long as I have my family," Regina whispered and Robin pulled her tighter for a moment.

"I love you Robin. Even if it sounds cheesy, my heart does belong to you." Robin grinned when he asked her "You are really going to entrust something so valuable to a common thief like me?" It was Regina's turn to chuckle as she replied.

"You can't steal something that's being given to you."

"Well then milady, I'll gladly take it and will care greatly for it. You have mine as well, Your Majesty." He pressed another kiss on the top of her head.

"I love you too, Regina." With that both cuddled even closer and it didn't take long for Robin to fall asleep. Regina on the other hand only slowly closed her eyes, ear pressed to Robin's chest hearing his heart beat.

She was happy utterly and fully happy.

She had a husband who loved her with all his heart; loved all of her.

She had two boys- her little knight and her little prince, and a smile appeared on her face just thinking about her sons

She had friends, had Snow and Charming, the Merry Men, Tink and Maleficent standing by her side.

She was finally the Queen she had always wanted to be. Loved and not feared.

She was getting closer and closer to the person she wanted to be. The painful part of her life was not the center of it anymore. She finally could breathe again.

Regina didn't know how or why but she had gotten it; a second chance.

And as Regina pressed herself closer to her husband she slowly drifted off to sleep, thinking of the dream her life had become and that maybe Robin had been right.

Maybe it's all about timing.


	33. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to read chapter 32 before this!

_3 years later_

* * *

_Regina was sleeping deeply in their soft bed without a care in the world, caught up in a rather nice dream till..._

" _Mama Mama you need to wake up. Come on Mama," Regina sighed and moaned in pain as a 3 year old jumped almost on top of her.  
"Easy there, my boy. You know you have to be gentle with you mother, alright Henry?" Robin told his younger son, stroking gently through his dark hair. Regina finally opened her eyes as she felt her son beside her, snuggling closer to her._

" _Good morning my little prince," Regina muttered, turning around to face her son and pressing a soft kiss on his nose._  
"Mama it's your birthday you have to get up," the young boy shouted while pulling at his mother, making both of his parents chuckle.  
"Good morning love. I apologize for the rather rude awakening but everyone is waiting while you were enjoying your beauty sleep," Robin told her, grinning and pressing a kiss to her temple whilst helping her up.

" _I would apologize, if all of you didn't get up at such an ungodly hour," Regina muttered, and with a wave of her hand she was dressed (a red dress; far more comfortable than the dresses she wore when she was doing what Queens did) too tired to do it without magic. Magic- who now was more a friend than a weapon. Robin chuckled and picked Henry up, telling her "Happy Birthday, milady," he pressed a gentle kiss on her lips, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear with his free hand, eyes gazing into each other._  
"Thank you," Regina replied, smiling softly  
"Are you ready for breakfast Your Majesty?"

_Regina grinned squeezing his hand and then let her boys pull her down into the dining room for her birthday breakfast. Later there was the official celebration for the Queen but right now this moment just belonged to her family._

" _Mama, where have you been? We want to eat cake! Come one; it's one with raspberries," Roland shouted excitedly. The 8 year old boy was grinning at his mother, jumping up and down. Raspberry cake had become something of a tradition in the Locksley-Mills household- even Snow and Maleficent swore it was their favourite cake too. Later they would meet with Snow, Charming, Mal and the Merry Men for lunch and Regina was truly excited and- still, even after 3 years- surprised to have a family. It was like her own kind of miracle._

" _Sleeping, honey, I was sleeping like normal people do at this hour," Regina replied, pressing a kiss on top of her son's head._  
"Happy birthday Mama," Roland told her, grinning and hugging her tightly.  
"Thank you my little knight."  
"Mama you need to cut the cake. You know the first piece-"  
"-is a special one. I know honey," Regina grinned, taking the knife next to the truly beautifully arranged cake. Regina carefully cut a piece out and as it was one her plate she sat down, smirking at the proud look she received from her boys.

" _Mama can I have a bite?" Henry cried, already climbing on her lap._  
"No Henry, you know the first bite is for Mama. For Mama and our little sister," Roland explained calmly to his little brother, and then softly stroked over his mother's rather huge tummy.  
"Sorry R'land, you're right. But I can have one later right?" Henry asked, beaming at his big brother when he nodded. Regina had to bite back tears at Henry's smile and how carefully and gently Roland stroked over her belly. She was almost 8 Months along now, and Tink had already told them they were expecting a little healthy girl. 

_After losing her first pregnancies when she was with Leopold, it still amazed Regina how she now was able to carry another child- and she couldn't have been happier. There had been some fear on Roland's part, being the only child Regina hadn't given birth to herself. He thought that she didn't love him like she did their other children, but Regina chased away those fears quickly, loving her little knight as dearly as she loved Henry and the unborn girl._

" _Alright then, let's let our girls have the first bite, shall we?" Robin asked his sons, grinning at their nod and pressing another kiss on the top of Regina's head.  
"Yessss," Henry shouted and before Regina could get the fork it vanished in a cloud of blue smoke and reappeared in her hand. Henry had shown his magical abilities far earlier than Regina had and Auntie Mal had taken over the task of teaching the little man magic. Teaching him in a way that wouldn't hurt him, or scare him for life the way Rumple's lessons had with Regina. _

_Henry looked a bit worried- he did every time he used magic- but Regina only smiled, telling her son "Thank you Henry. You did very well," making the 3 year old beam at them. As Regina took the first bite of the truly wonderful cake, the rest of her family sat down too and started eating and laughing till Roland ran off, coming back with a wrapped up gift._

" _For you Mama, from Papa, Henry, the baby and me," Roland told her proudly, and as she unwrapped her present she finally let the tears fall. It was a necklace; a necklace with four stones in four different colours hanging on it. It was truly beautiful. "Every stone represents a part of our family, and now if you have to travel or go somewhere where we aren't, you can look at it and then you know we are thinking of you. We will always be with you," Roland told her, looking at his father for confirmation that he had said it right._

_Regina just let the tears fall "Thank you so much, all of you. Can Mama get a big hug?" As soon as she said it all three boys (including her dear husband) put their arms around her._  
"We love you, Mama," Henry shouted, just at the same moment the baby kicked.  
"I love you, too. So much," Regina told them, and after another hug Roland asked if he and Henry could go play, and at her nod he took his little brother by the hand, disappearing into their room.

" _You like it, milady?" Robin asked, pulling her in his lap (which was a bit of a challenge because she wasn't as tiny as usual)_  
"I love it. Thank you so much," Regina whispered, pressing a kiss on her husband's lips.  
"We mean it, love. You're never going to be alone. Never again."

_Regina brought her arms around Robin's neck and kissed him deeply till they both ran out of air. They had overcome everything, and could now sit here with each other next to a half-eaten birthday cake and two- soon three- wonderful children. They were happy. Truly happy_

" _Happy Birthday, milady"_

_Two weeks after her birthday their daughter was born, and given the name Hope. A little girl with dark curls and deep blue eyes, magic already flowing through her veins. A girl that would be like her two big brothers; loved dearly by their parents and the rest of their family. After everything, the name seemed fitting._

_Regina was still lying in bed, exhausted from her daughter's birth, all three children finally sleeping as Robin joined her, He pulled her close to him, his arms around her, pressing on kiss on her hairline like he always did. Every morning to wake her up and every evening before they went to bed. They both looked at each other- brown eyes finding blue ones- and their lips crashed together in one passionate kiss. When they parted, forehead to forehead, Regina whispered:_

" _I love you Robin."_

" _I love you too, Regina"_

_Because Regina knew one thing to be true by now:_

_We all get a get a second chance. You just have to open your eyes to see it._

* * *

_Thank you! And don't forget...we do all get a second chance but you have to keep your eyes open to see it!_


End file.
